Noisy new neighbours

My son and daughter in law, are in an almost identical situation, landlord has been no use at all

They want to move, but can’t imagine anyone would want to buy their house, with this family next door!

Thanks Sara. At Easter I bought kids eggs to make them feel welcome I knocked on the door took her an eternity to answer she looked like she expected me to have a go. She mentioned making the fence higher. I said no that is my fence. I own they rent. Plus they seem to have people staying over frequently with kids nor sure where they all go as there are 2 bedrooms.

Yep, get a higher fence to start with. Then make the most of the time when 8-year old is at school. Have you considered sound proofing?

Anja. Soundproofing has to be done from the house the noise comes from. I work so not much benefit there. Probably won’t increase the fences They will have to wait till I am able to chuck stuff back.

Oh I do sympathise Charlie888. Are you in a semi- detached? I have heard that if the stairs are on an ‘internal’ wall, i.e, adjoining yours, that the noise can be unbearable if the family is naturally noisy. Luckily our stairs are on an ‘outside’ wall, and when we had a family with 4 children next door, we hardly heard them at all. Except for one summer, when 2nd daughter, had her music playing in the lounge, so that she could hear it in the garden. ? I asked her to, please turn it down, which she did, not gracefully, but she did!
They are all grown up now, with their own families and spread far and wide.

Thanks AuntieFlo. Mid terrace yes part stairs and landing adjoining. Other families managed to live normally without this excessive noise. These are small houses not sure when they get older sharing a tiny bedroom Well their toys and balls Are in my garden I have no intention of picking them up until my back is better. Sadly people are inconsiderate and selfish.

I had 8 kids next door to me and their balls were always coming over I told them I wouldn’t get them more than three times a day and not after 8 pm they stuck to that and I often would find the balls the next day obviously they had come over after 8 but they had left them there
It’s really hard I know but I think avoiding making an enemy of a neighbour at all costs if you can

I agree with bluebell’s last paragraph. Once enmity sets in there is nowhere to go.
Try putting netting on the top of fencing to catch balls.
Get a yapping dog!!!
It’s a nightmare situation for you, but she does sound as if she’s aware by her responses.
Could you work with her to find a compromise?

Thanks bluebells and nams. It is not just the the balls it is the other toys trucks, metal items and stones thrown constantly. It is not the older child she should be able to parent the little one not to throw things that might hurt other people including the kids the other side. Agree to try to keep it agreeable but it needs to be both ways. This on top of the general noise and constant bbqs which l love the smell but this is thick black burning smoke not an appetising smell! ?

Also meant to say unlikely I will be able to pick up stuff for a few days at least.

If they are in a rented house, especially a short term rented house let the landlord know your concerns. If they are treating the garden this badly, inside the house will be the same. Landlords do not tolerate tenants who neglect and damage the property or cause trouble with the neighbours.

Crikey - that sounds awful I’d be contacting the landlord. You are entitled to enjoy your home without all that. Living in close proximity to others means that you have to expect a certain amount of reasonable family noise but they sound like they’re taking the absolute p.

So sorry to hear that, it must be very upsetting. Before contacting the landlord it might be a good idea to keep a diary for a month so that you can give them specifics rather than sounding as if you just don't like them.

Another suggestion is that you find it 'too hard' to keep chucking things over so you will collect them up during the week and they may collect them at 1000 am (or whatever time you choose) on Saturdays or another day to suit you. That should stop them climbing over the fence and hopefully deter them from throwing things over. Good luck

A diary is an excellent idea

Our neighbours have three children and yes, balls and frisbys land in our garden. As the gardens are long and they sit at the far end, I usually do not see anything until I go to weed the veggies. I then pick up anything I find and just drop it over the fence.

Occasionally if they know we are home they will ask me to throw the ball back, but that happens rarely. Thankfully their house is detached so we do not get any internal noise.

I think setting a particular time for collecting stuff that comes over your fence sounds a good idea

Sounds awful for you Charlie888. I think giving them a time, once a week, to collect their items is excellent. Even better if you let them come into your garden (or choose one of them only to come in) and pick the stuff up themselves, to save your poor back.

I am so very lucky with our neighbours. On one side we have a couple who are roughly our age, and whose children are grown and flown, and on the other side is an elderly couple who must be in their 90s. It's so peaceful. I dread the day when they move out, for fear of who might move in !

I find it hard to believe that a 2 yr old can throw a truck over a 5’ fence unless they climb onto a chair or something to do it, which means it is on purpose, and or done by the 8yr old who it should be possible to reason with. I would only throw back once a day the morning after, or not throw back but take indoors and make them come and knock to get them back - and hand over the rubbish at the same time. Again specifying a time not more than once a day.
However it is a worry if you think they have been round in your absence - do you have a back gate? Can you put a bolt on the inside, low down, to lock it? Also, you can get fence panels 1’ (30cm) high to put on top of the fence, which might help, as 5 foot is low, but you would have to extend the posts. The panels could be open weave if you want the sun ( but then you might get lots of small things through like lego!)
As a last resort bamboo makes a quick, tall hedge!
There is no excuse for food and rubbish to be chucked over.

I am sorry, this sort of thing can take away all the pleasure you get from your garden. I have experienced it in a small way but only having things over the fence by accident, not on purpose as this appears to be.

When you work full-time, you can't keep throwing balls back over the fence. My solution was to say to the mother that I didn't mind if she or her partner came round to collect balls etc. when I was out. This worked well.

Perhaps I was too easy-going but they were nice people and I remember being a child and having my ball go into the neighbours' gardens.

No it doesn’t Charlie

Think this will be one of these ‘yes, but’ posters!

David. Yes think I mentioned it sound as I’d they are dismantling the house. Landlord needs to know

Sirchenjin. Yes we all have to consider others needs. Started a photo diary

Nonnie great re diary. Won’t commit to a set time as I have a full life am happy to return stuff sometime over the weekend

Monica. Yes if I was around popped it over the fence but it came straight back so won’t be doing that.!

Hurdygurdy. Not sure I would be happy to agree for them to come over. They seem entitled enough. ? will pop stuff back to them sometime over the weekend. Fingers crossed your lovely neighbours remain for some time.

Star bird it is the 2 yr old he must have super powers seen it myself 8 yr old probably winds him up. It is stones. Metal and trucks are the worry plus food as we have had a rat problem. Seen the 2 yr old do it. Good idea re bamboo and fence panels if they would fit. It won’t stop me enjoying the garden earphones and good book I will happily ignore pleads for balls back. My back issue is an injury am normally very fit. Have now decided to return items weekend only. As it was constant returning them. It could last all day!!

Tangerine. Yes indeed life is too short. Don’t feel comfortable allowing them in given their entitlement think they may take advantage

Anja. My understanding is that soundproofing has to be done from where the noise nuisance is. Thanks for sharing it isn’t. Please feel free to be goady If that makes you feel good - enjoy!

Get a gardener to put up 10 feet high light weight garden netting. Plant really prickly cotoneaster bushes or nettles t your side of the high netting so they wont get under the netting.

Once I had awful noisy neighbours but we both owned our houses. In the long summer evenings (in London) they had a Barrie every night with chatting and drinking sat outside until usually 1 or 2 am. His party piece was driving his Harley down a small path at the backs sometimes when putting it away at midnight.

Eventually they moved on and new quieter neighbours moved in.

Hopefully your neighbours will move on. Nonnies idea of giving them a set time weekly to collect stuff is a good one.

How to sound proof your house from outside noise