Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

My daughter's 1st car was fiat punto she loved it my son's was a Renault Clio he loved it to.

This will be my 16th Christmas without my husband. Doesn't get any easier. My eldest grandson is 3 so this year he will get excited about it. As I have said before Craftyone and Mosaicwarts you are both in what I call the early years of grief. In my case it doesn't get easier but you learn to cope better and when I have wobbles I do it in private. Not always possible but if I do have one in front of the family having someone to give me a kiss and cuddle makes all the difference.

Keep warm everyone it's getting colder.

Reminiscing about fires takes me back to the miners strikes. We had a fire in the living room at my parents no radiators in those days but a gas fire in the dining room. We used to make toast and read by candle light when the power was off. Because I was in the top stream at secondary school I had to go too school 3 days a week and sit in the science labs in my duffle coat. My brother was in the bottom one so only had to fetch work once a week. Can't remember what year that was I'm 61 now. My nan had a feather mattress on her spare bed when you lay in the middle it wrapped around you

Very fun, I never liked that expression, I often heard it on craftsy videos. I have been with craftsy for years and years, I still see the first videos that I bought, all sale price btw. They are very very good for teaching how to do various skills in several different crafts. Some of my first video classes were on serger (overlocker) use and some of them included a paper pattern

Just thinking about your fire mosaics, I had deja vu. Shovel propped in front of an open fire and newspaper over the shovel to create the chimney draught. We were always allowed to do `dangerous` stuff like that as young teenagers. Me and my siblings e mail each other a lot and reminisce about the fact that we could use sharp knives and do dangerous things like balancing out of an upstairs sash window to clean them. We all grew up pretty confident in out abilities. No feather bedding for us

Kia picanto, looks to be a good choice for a young driver

Exciting news mosaicwarts, your perseverance has paid off. Have fun choosing where to move to.

Thanks for your good wishes for today everyone, I cleaned the house until my hands were sore, couldn't have made it look any nicer. The viewing agent turned up 15 minutes early - luckily - because the viewer pulled in to the drive in his very expensive car a few minutes later. The last developer had a porsche, means nothing, she didn't buy it! I won't be holding my breath.

I'd lit the woodburner and the coal fire too, as one viewer asked if the fire 'worked' - ? I'd forgotten how mucky and smelly coal fires are, I looked like Dick Van Dyke after laying it and refilling the scuttle. Thank heavens for my bellows, this rain really affects the draw, it eventually took. Not sure what happened to my 'blazer' - the big metal sheet with a handle you hold over the whole of the fire place to improve the draw. Disappeared in the mists of time. I only light the fire xmas day for toasting marshmallows as I don't like burning fossil fuels, it's bad enough I have to use so much oil.

I'm not quite sure how I feel - the EA emailed late tonight and has negotiated another £5k for me. I said not to as I was nervous to lose him. Hey ho.

Craftyone I thought you were joking about 'knee bags' in a car because you are petite like me - I went to look at a Kia Picanto 'Air' for my daughter, and when I looked it up, saw 'knee bags'! What a good idea, I didn't know they existed. I'm out of date on so many things. It really annoys me my daugher says 'it was very fun'. When did that become an acceptable expression! We'll be car shopping next week, I'm paying £60 to get her home from the airport late Monday night, I'm too scared to do the drive.

Thank heavens Saturday night is nearly over, I think the weekends are the worst for me.

I have sewn a xmas ornament for my son and his girlfriend, and am now going to look at your destination suggestions, thank you all so much for taking the time to write. I could be your new neighbour in x years! xx

I want to work in my garage this winter and have decided that I need some draught excluders for the garage door. I want waterproof covers and they need to be floppy and heavy enough. I have been thinking and have decided to make waterproof sausage shapes from cordura type fabric and to fill with buckwheat hulls, both from ebay. I almost cba to make them and then gave myself a good talking to, easy to make and fit for purpose and will be a good project for a wet weekend

I do feel very cosy this evening, had music on and table lamps with cosy shades and the christmas decor and the stove was lit. I daren`t curl up to watch tv, I`ll be out like a light.

There are plenty if very nice seaside towns down south that are still have quite reasonable property prices. Suffolk Norfolk, but many of the places there are pretty isolated. Do think about public transport facilities and a train station when looking.
Somerset offers mostly what places in Dorset offer, but at less cost.
You need to think whether you are looking for a house, bungalow or flat. Think about how you will manage a largish garden in ten or 15 years time.
I downsized 16 years ago, from the large family house to a terraced 3-bedroom house. Had to then add to that a loft extension to facilitate g.children that continued to be born. That was the house I have just left and am very, very happy that I am now safely in a flat (a good sized one), but all on one level with a large balcony.
I was 78 yrs at my last birthday and my mobility is decreasing all the time. Feel so much better, healthwise, in this flat. 16 years ago I was absolutely opposed to going into a flat !!!
The price you are selling for is more than enough, with plenty over, to find a lovely flat or bungalow in most Somerset seaside towns, much warmer that where you are at present. Parts of East Sussex also offer good facilities, have a look at Hastings - so much cheaper than Brighton.
Take your time about this - it is much easier to purchase than to sell.

mosaicwarts I've got fingers and toes crossed for you. You really deserve a big helping of good luck.
Surely this time the sale will go ahead and you can look forward to this time next year somewhere warm an convenient. Destination TBA! ☘️

mosaics I have heard of movers going to airbNb and putting their bulk into storage. Finding somewhere to rent is yet another headache, if selling goes according to plan, then possibly feb/march, not too bad as it is still out of holiday season. I think you need to be looking away from the expensive SE coast and Dorset coast, that money needs to stretch and ensure your comfort. Cornwall is a bit isolating and insular, somerset is fab and so is devon. Somerset is cheaper than devon. It is most definitely warmer in the south.

My 5th christmas as a widow, have to get used to it, just have to be pragmatic and always grateful to be able to have some luxuries and a warm home and plenty to do. The scandi tree and all my decs are up and very cheerful. The tree is very different but lovely and is endlessly re-useable. I think this not buying adult gifts started with me suggesting a £10 limit for adults, thinking that they would use their brains and make or re-cycle and they did for 3 years, then last year was the shock when they (vegans) decided that it was a good idea to enjoy the time together rather than fret about what to get. It took me by surprise and they all received something from me because I had already bought them. The initial idea stemmed from the fact that they were spending too much on me, my idea to reduce that. It is lovely to see them and I need to ask what they are doing re presents this year

I might leave making the snowflake for now, am whittling a bird and the wood is hard and am making a sun and carving a rowan leaf and have a love spoon to make.

Morning everyone, it's lovely to come on here and read your news.

Sazzl, I've heard of people stripping the fittings in this way, right down to light bulbs - I am sorry. Taking the wood burner seems most odd to me, they weigh a ton - and the curtain rails?

Christmas is looming fast and I feel quite panicky about it financially. Every year I mean to start a Christmas savings fund, and every year I don't. I'm 62 and it is time I gave myself a kick! Somehow this Christmas is the worst, I suppose it is because it is number four without my husband. Adrenalin got me through number one, I took the family to Thailand for number two, and last year my daughter's boyfriend came over from Canada. This year it is just the three of us. My daughter is now working during the day Christmas Eve, will just be my son and I, he comes over to stay the night so he's here Christmas morning. I do envy those of you with grandchildren - in the nicest possible way!

I'm up early to walk the dog, take my daughter to the gym, come back and get the house ready, then take her to the station for 1 pm. The viewing has been bought forward to 1.45 pm, the nice 'Saturday' man is coming. I've done notes for him and will ask him not to give them to the viewer this time.

I will spend some peaceful time this afternoon looking around the UK to see where I can go. I've looked at rentals in the south, so I could explore the coastal towns to look, astonishing rents of £1000 plus for quite grotty looking places. I don't have any ties except my 82 year old aunt on the IOW. I don't want to be on an island, the ferries do stop in bad weather.

Have a good day all.

Re: Xmas presents - When my g.children reach their teens, they just get money for birthdays and Xmas (and I also have set amounts I give them as they pass GCSE's, A-Levels, and their degrees - Not large amounts, just something as recognition of the work they put in).
Only the four primary school age g.children will get actual present and this will be chosen from their wish lists on Amazon.
This year, I will actually be seeing all these four over the festive season and can hand them these pressies which is lovely.
My five adult children also get a cash amount at Christmas. I do know that none of them need it (thank goodness), but like to give something.
I have sent these five a message saying that I do not want them spending any money on me this coming Christmas. They usually club together to purchase one large present (last year it was my wonderful GTech upright and hand held vacuum cleaner) - but there is really nothing I need right now. The email asked them to put any money they would have spent towards the cost of travel to see me a couple of times a year at least.
Next weekend my eldest daughter and g.daughter in London are coming to stay with me (No. 2 daughters birthday weekend).
The ONLY downside of this move is that I do not see them as often as I used to do, - as my daughter is a single parent, I had a great deal of involvement with her daughter when she was young., and in the last few years have had them over to me for a meal every fortnight.
I am most fortunate in that all my children have done very well in their careers, and have their own houses - none of them are millionaires as they have all gone into 'Service work' (NHS/Education, etc). But all have done well and feel that their work is important and helps people. It also keeps us all very well grounded as they are often servicing people with very different lives to their own. I am very proud of them as they did not have an easy childhood as we were in benefits for most of it due my husband have Multiple Sclerosis, which very quickly totally disabled him.
Yesterday, I had my new freezer delivered. The one in the kitchen was integrated and I had paid to have that taken away at the same time - when ordering I did say that it was
integrated and told 'no problem'! When the men turned up with the new one, they told me they were not allowed to remove an integrated one. Anyway, I think grey hair had an effect on them and they finally agreed they would do so. I gave them twenty pounds and my thanks.
Yesterday afternoon my 16-year old g.son just turned up as he finishes college at 1 pm on Fridays. He has some anxiety issues (well managed most of the time), and likes that he can now come to my very tidy and peaceful flat whenever he feels he needs to - his own home is rather more chaotic, with three siblings and Mum going to work and a disabled stay-at-home Dad - who is good at doing the cooking - but really does not understand the concept of tidying up). Lovely for me that he feels he can just turn up like that and stayed until it was getting dark and then went home for supper.
Good Luck MW. You do need to start thinking about where you want to move to and what sort of accommodation. Do think ahead as to what you will need to be living in when you are 10/20 years older. £350,000 is more than enough to purchase whatever you are likely to need and have some over for re-furnishing, etc.

Craftyone sorry your family doesn't buy you Christmas presents. My husband loved buying for me and the children . I always brought him clothes as he would never buy them for himself. Safety work ones but nothing besides. My kids spoil me at birthday , mothers day and Christmas. I worry when they spend money on me. I love giving presents but worry how much people spend on me.
They always ask what I would like. After my husband died I always said tights. They used to despair at me. The last 5 yrs I have asked for something. This year I asked my daughter for a jumper and a garden fork from my son.

Did you make the wooden snowflake?

Mosaicwarts hope you have a good viewing and that offer you have accepted goes through. You sound as you aren't getting your hopes up. I found it better if I didn't get my hopes up. I got my hopes up with my first buyer and it made me ill when she pulled out a the last minute. Wish you had a fairy godmother and with a wave of her wand you were your dream home.

Scaredykatt my new kitchen is wonderful I had promised myself the kitchen of my dreams when I moved. My old one my husband had put in 30 yrs ago.

I haven't changed the locks on the back door or French windows. But as the front door , side garage door and garage window was wooden I have had new ones. My dark green front door is composite with a high security lock with a patterned glazing so I can who is at the door.

Have a good day everyone

I never changed the locks, never done it but would if the place had ever been rented out, all depends on who has been living there and yes students would warrant a lock change. I am so happy for everyone, it looks positive for all of you now, including you scaredykatt as you settle in. Sazzl, the best of luck on wednesday. I think it was very mean to take the log burner but at least you will get the style you want and a safe flue.

Smile bank sent my annual cc statement yesterday,not the items just the overall picture. I took a deep intake of breath then realised that this covered from last november and all my white appliances and bits. It was a lot nevertheless. I like to use a cc for safety. I have slowed my cc spending somewhat but am still shelling out, last was £137 on rubber threshold for the garage to stop rain creep. I put that down yesterday, got covered with stray black mastic and had a very messy garage and I could not let myself go to bed until I had tidied and vacuumed in there.

I own up to getting myself a few presents for christmas, my family is `no presents except for children` no presents for me apart from what I buy myself. They haven`t thought of that and they would be horrified but as always I keep mouth shut. Husband used to spoil me at christmas and especially on my birthday, sigh, it is worse than other dates tbh but I live through them and look forward as always

I am thinking of putting my scandi tree up this weekend, I feel like doing it this year, had no wish to do it last year, house was up for sale then and stress was upwards

Forgot to say yes we do get locks changed when we move and also when we have given out keys to students and friends who have stayed. Mainly not because we don't trust the seller or others but you don't know if they have loaned car keys with our door key on to anyone or have any dodgy friends who could have taken a key. Perhaps that's a bit paranoid but we think it's safer.

Congratulations Mosaic on your offer really hope it all goes through for you this time.
Thanks everyone for your good wishes for our purchase. We put some potted plants in the front garden of our new house as they would have died in the storage container. Owner gave permission via EA. which was helpful. Everything is in storage ready to move on Wednesday so really hoping it all goes smoothly. Hope it's not raining or snowing that day either. I do love the snow but not good for moving house! They are taking the log burner so we will have to buy one and probably a new flue too as there's no safety certificate for the liner. The shop said a new liner will be necessary. Also taking all curtains and curtain tracks/fittings which is a pain.
All the best to everyone on here xx

Great news, sounds suspiciously as if things are going in the right direction for everyone. all round!

Mosaic - fingers crossed that this sale goes through. I know how fearful you are of another cold winter and all the repairs piling up so maybe the advice given by others that it is better to accept a lower price, as long as that enables you to get something else, is sensible. My new cottage is 200 years old with all the quirks that come with an old place and it’s not as warm as my previous house but hopefully when I get the wood-burner fitted that will help.

Franbern - You sound pretty settled. Like you I had to get the boxes unpacked as soon as possible, though I too am having a fitted wardrobe installed and some things need to stay in boxes until then. Kitchen is all sorted and I'm making a start on putting up photos and pictures - gosh there are a lot of them! I suppose I should get some new locks and fit those as well - did everyone else who moved change the locks? I must say no regrets about the move even though it perhaps wasn’t the most sensible thing to move to an old cottage, but I love it and I love where it is.

Whiff your new kitchen sounds very swish!

Sazzle fingers crossed for the 20th for your completion.

Thanks for that craftyone. I do feel so alone, I am so very glad I found you and your thread and all these lovely people on here.

I was just thinking about last Sunday's young man and family, they said they were 'doing their numbers' on Monday and would phone back today with their feedback. They didn't , I find it so discourteous. I won't be doing any viewings myself again, especially not on a Sunday.

I've just finished my hour and a half of hoovering. I hope I don't come back as a woodlouse, I just don't have time to rescue them anymore if they happen to get in the way. Just having some soup, then back to polishing and arranging everything in each room to its best advantage. It's not a normal life here at all because it is so bitterly cold, I hope we have reasonable weather tomorrow.

I will keep going, thanks for the encouragement, I really have no choice. Ten years ago I was asked where I want to be in ten years and I couldn't answer. I still can't, but know I cannot wait to wake up somewhere different in a triple glazed bedroom with the sun streaming in, go for a walk around the block with the dog, then get the bus to a yoga class! And go shopping and walk up the path into the hallway with it, instead of humping it up 18 steps!

I hate that you are so out of your comfort zone so often mosaics but its what you have to do right now. One day you will be in that snug nest and will feel secure and safe, it will happen and you will be able to look back on all of this and know that you were brave enough and strong enough to get through this dreadful period of your life.

Thanks so much for your 'toasts' everyone, I don't think he'll continue with the purchase when he sees the survey, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Old houses are special and often problematic, you have to have the right mindset many of you that have old houses know - if it's not one thing, it's another, was often said with swear words added in our kitchen!

My daughter asked if I was happy with the low price, I had to say yes. Obviously I would have liked more as at my age it's the last money I'll ever have, I don't want to get a 'lifetime' mortgage and affect the kids inheritance, and it affects my choices of where to live. The selling price is now £150K below the original price it was marketed for, more fool me for allowing it to happen. As it's unique it was hard to value, and as so many people have said, it's only worth what someone is prepared to pay for it.

But as craftyone said, I feel that I would give it away to reduce the stress of all the maintenance and bills. I had to 'sellotape my daughter's bedroom window last night as the draught was so bad. I tried to cling film it but the draught was coming from a gap at the base of the window glass and blowing it everywhere. I daren't go outside to see what's happening with the windowsill. It's astounding the window surveyor didn't get back to me with a quote, I'm bored of chasing him now.

Have a good evening, I have to take my daughter to the station at 5 pm and start the 'viewing' cleaning when she's out. Collecting her at 11 pm, hope to be finished by then - thankfully the road to the station isn't flooded, but others are. Seeing a road full of water gives me the shivers after last time, I had to turn back today.

Mosaic - I hope this one works out for you.

WOW!! landmark day Mosaics
I do drink (occasionally) and have been watching this thread and am delighted for you.
I hope the advice from EA was good and you can at last begin the next stage of your journey.

Oh thank goodness [wine}

A nervy few weeks coming up and hopefully your luck has turned, I know for one I will be having a GnT for you this evening. A big virtual hug, we are all rooting for you

Hello everyone, have just come off the phone to the EA and accepted the offer. She asked if I wanted her to try and increase it, but I refused, I don't want to lose this one.

She said that she will now be asking the buyer to prove his funds/mortgage offer and ID etc, which will take some time, so the next two Saturday viewings will go ahead. Tomorrow is an investor, I don't hold out any hope as I've said before, they can't make enough profit.

I hope the buyer's mortgage lender survey request comes quickly and I can end the year knowing what is happening . In a way this is a 'test' case to see if it is possible to get a mortgage on the house.

If I drank, I think I'd be having a stiff one right now! xx