Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Craftytone, I have an Alexa - although being a total'Trekkie' it answers to 'Computer'. At present listening to music from West Side story whilst waiting for daughter and SiL to come over to help me get spare bedroom ready for sofa bed being delivered next Thursday.

Alexa is good company Franbern, she`ll be able to have a proper conversation one day. I like to ask her the time when I cannot be bothered to turn over in bed and love the reliable alarm. Yay another room almost done for you Franbern. Progress again

Another job done just now. I noticed the zip on my whirly line cover is coming undone. Was very tempted to leave it but no, good girl hat on and I have mended it. Am happy to have the machine threaded and ready to switch on at all times

Yippee mosaics, excellent re the car and what a very nice day out, browsing amongst second hand books with your daughter

I think you meant 1975 Crafty. It was around the time when John Seymour was writing his books about Self Sufficiency and we were all trying or wanting to try the Good Life!
Luckily we never bought the remote place we'd set our heart on. It would have been totally crazy. We are not DIYers or farmers. Holiday cottages in North Wales were being set on fire about that time. You were brave.
I'm so glad your DD has a car now mosaics

Yes Franbern, we all used to complain about the cows but were told it was an ancient law and could not be changed. Then we had mad cow disease and the food had to be more controlled so they are now fenced in, in Epping Forest.
They used to bring traffic to a stop at the Waterworks roundabout which is why there are cattle grids there.

I can remember travelling from Walthamstow to Sth Woodford, for work, before the large roundabout at the Waterworks was built. This is where the bus was so often delayed by cows. My young children would so often tell people (I suppose quite correctly) that they lived in East London. People would then imagine them living in the midst of a concrete jungle, then they would say 'We have our camp in the Forest, and can hear our Mum call us in for tea, and cows walk down our road." Used to confuse people!!!
Nice to hear from you Loopyloo - as you can see I am settling down happily in my new home.
Spare room will not be really completed until the fitted wardrobes are put in there next February, along with others being fitted into my bedroom. When they are done I should be able to get rid of my final boxes.
My daughter yesterday took down the single bed, Good timing, her eldest child's bed broke yesterday and she was reluctant to find the money to replace it, as he will only be living there for the next nine months. Would have been annoying if we had given this bed to a charity shop, and then they needed it. So, today, SiL will come with big vehicle and this bed back with him.

That's interesting about Epping Forest. I'm a Winchmore Hill girl and we used to have school trips to Epping Forest. I remember being told all about Elizabeth 1 hunting in the area. When I lived on the Monkhams I couldn't believe we had the tube station 5 minutes in one direction and Epping Forest minutes in the other. Just shows how old and new exist side by side. How lovely to have had a kids' den in the forest.

Ellianne, although the Queen Elizabeth Hunting Lodge is in Chingford, there is no evidence, whatsoever that Elizabeth 1st ever went there. Nice, small museum type place now, with dressing up and tables laid with food items from the past.
TV now on the wall in spare bedroom, things moved round to make room for the sofa bed, when it arrives. My first visitor to use it is due mid-January.

Franbern that was handy about the bed. Same thing happened to to me before I moved. My niece needed a new bed for my brothers house when she stays with him. I
gave her one of the single ones and mattress plus an extra mattress which they keep in a bag under the bed for when she takes friends to stay there with her. It lovely to here about how happy you are in your flat.

Mosaicwarts that's good news about the car for your daughter. I hope these high winds haven't damaged any of your windows. It will be lovely for you when you move. Double glazing and gas heating are one of life's musts.

After sit fit this morning I'm going to a talk at U3A about Victorian Liverpool. It holds meetings in a church hall in Crosby every month. Plus a drop in met at a local cafe weekly. Already decided to join only £14 for the year. My children tell me I have a more active social life than they do. Sometimes I don't recognise myself. My life has improved so much for the better since moving. Just hope my health stays as it is at the moment . Since the last lot of seizures noticed loss of strength in my arms so I am extra careful carrying things also when I am playing with my grandsons. Can't do one of the leg exercises but my instructor has shown me an alternative one with same benefit . Having to wear glasses full time seems to have improved my balance a bit. Seeing my GP before craft group in the morning.

When something bad happens I try and see a positive to it. Not always easy , but I find I can cope with life's ups and downs that way.

Hope everyone has a good day.

It is lovely to hear so many people feeling relaxed and contented since their move. The title of the thread is very true, but the resulting benefits almost deserve a thread of their own too. What an uplifting thought for the day that we have to find the positives even in adversity!

I agree Ellianne, definitely helps me feel it is worth carrying on, although I'm scared I'm not going to have enough money for new things.

EA has phoned and apparently buyer still 'keen' but in discussion with surveyor regarding the 'red' points on the survey and finding out about the cost of the most 'urgent works' and will be phoning next week to 'renegotiate' the price.

Painter is back again refining what he's already done for his 'skills test', he's been here over a week now, I wish he'd hurry up and finish.

Not feeling great after the phone call as had another sleepless night with the wind howling down the bedroom chimney. I'm just gearing up to move our huge tree into the lounge, delivery man very kindly carried it upstairs. One christmas I was alone here and remember crying at the bottom of the steps, I couldn't work out how to get it up, then thought of the Egyptians and rolled it. I'm not thinking properly at the moment - my son is coming Christmas Eve, and I haven't done him a stocking! Where is my brain, honestly.

'New' Furniture need not cost much, Look at such places for new in Ikea, or else on Marketplace for good second hand. Also look into charity shops which take furniture and white goods, some very good bargains to be had in those. I am in the process of donating my large, upright freezer, less than six months old to one of these places. Still under manufacturers guarantee. Will be ideal for someone, and they will be able to obtain it from this shop at minimal cost.
Obviously, major alterations anywhere does cost - but then when you choose somewhere to move into, it will be down to you to find somewhere which only require minimal amount of these.
However, the amount he offered and you accepted, was very low (at least compared to your original asking price), so do not see how he can really do much re-negotiation.

I think the same about the offer price. It was a very low offer to begin with. It was an acceptible offer if he was actually going to buy at that and I do think mosaics has been right and he is going to use the survey. Mosaics, make sure you have your own survey at hand, so that you can counter whatever he says. Use minimal language and facts and the less you have to say, the better. Just enough to get the ball back into his court, to show that you are no pushover and I include the EA (male!!) in that

Luckily you will have the EA in between and therefore some thinking time. Buyer will not know that you have had your own survey and will be treating you as that `helpless woman` which you are not. Just like that wall surveyor was treating me and don`t forget that I led this objection and we won

Thanks for writing Franbern and craftyone.

I learnt something this afternoon which has made me feel very uncomfortable, but I need to wait until next week to see what happens.

Have a good evening

mosaics try and enjoy the next few weeks, now that your tree is sorted. Enjoy your family being at home and enjoy the beach walks.

Mosaic - Good luck re the survey. My EA was very helpful at this stage and pushed hard to keep the price up.
I got my own builder in to check the roof, plus one the EA found. I also got a new central heating timer as that was faulty and it was giving them an excuse to say a whole new central heating system was needed.
I had a bottom line price but decided that as long as I had enough to buy the house I wanted, I would accept a price drop to get a sale. You will need a bottom line price, whether it is the current agreed price or a little lower.

Sorry to hear that things are worrying or at least unsettling mosaicwarts. You have good friends on this thread and I'm sending you good vibes. ?

I've been to bed and have had to get up again, I can't sleep.

I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream. I am so very fed up to have to wait yet another week for this buyer to 'get quotes' and 'decide', it's such a painful time of year for my family.

What I can't understand is why, during this conversation, the EA did not reiterate to the buyer that the house was already priced to allow for the renovation costs, plus I had accepted his offer of £50K less than the asking price.

It does make me angry that people think they can take advantage of older women, especially if they live alone. My daugher doesn't think my husband would have accepted this price, let alone another reduction. As you say craftyone, I have my own survey, and can check my facts. I'm glad I also had a full structural - although his surveyor has found something mine didn't. My surveyor was odd with me and focussed on my dog more than me when I saw him in the car park a few days ago, but I'm still going to contact him to see if he can help me with it.

Better go back to bed, cat will be wondering where I've gone!

Mosaics I can understand that things are getting you down at this time of year especially. Take some deep breaths and think through a plan. Like what is your bottom line or how much are you prepared, if at all, to drop the agreed price due to the survey. Then stick to that. Whether you are an old woman or not people will take advantage in a buyers' market and house selling has always been a cut throat business. Just remain focused without over catastrophising. We are here to encourage you and get you sorted.
Poor cat, or maybe he thought his luck was in having the bed to himself?

Ellianne - Interesting term 'over-catastrophising'. My eldest daughter was always accusing me of doing that during that drawn out 'selling' time.]
I do not think it makes any difference as to the gender or the age of sellers - as has been said, at present it is a buyers market. Would be purchasers will try to get a property for the lowest price possible. It may well be that your husband would not have accepted that price for the house, but then he might not have been so very eager to sell it as you are.
This is why it is so important, Mw, for you to have some idea as to where, and to what, you wish to move. Then, as I keep advising you - you can work backwards.
How much you will need to purchase, plus all the costs of buying and selling, plus some extra for new furniture, work on new home, etc. etc. (maybe a little in the bank). Then you can know the really rock bottom price you can possible accept.
If this purchaser will not go to that, then just say Goodbye to him and wait until the New Year and start again, perhaps look again into the idea of auction.
Do not actually take it off the market, but think there are likely to be few (if any) viewers in December - but let the EA's know that only those they have checked and are genuine buyers can view before Xmas, but you want to be ready to go after the Festivities have finished.
In the meantime, you really do need to be your own homework on where you think you would like to move to and whether house, bungalow, flat, etc.

The others are right mosaicwarts. What is your rock bottom price and tie that in to your destination aim. Of course its a bad time of year for selling but if you did sell you'd be taking advantage of a good time to buy something yourself. For any property it's worth what someone is prepared to pay for it. Sounds like your house is very interesting though and something about it inspired you to buy it once upon a time. I hope the current prospective buyer follows through.

Oh yes, spot on Franbern, the bottom line for another home and work backwards

cost of home +
selling and buying fees of EA and solicitor+
stamp duty+
removals+
potential storage cost+
rent for a few months+
a small safety net for new house repairs/painting+
a small amount for furnishings+
a small private amount for savings

The aim is to get you into a cosy new home mosaics. Two bed? with a sofa bed in the living room. We are here to help and support

Garden?
parking?
garage?

Are there any areas to rule out for destination?
Is it important to be in a warmer county?
How important will train travel be, bearing in mind that dd will have a car and ds could hire one?
How important are shops, buses and clubs like U3A?

I generally have strange ideas so please feel free to ignore me but had you thought of a facebook page to advertise your beautiful house? Would that be too public?

I just feel so angry on your behalf, Mosaics. as does DH. Like you, we think your house is unique, and special and if someone could see it as you did when you and your DH fell for it, it would sell at a proper price, in a flash!

If not FB at least a specialist site, maybe international, where someone who is prepared to go outside their comfort zone, to own an extraordinary property would see it.

I find all this bargaining and nit picking about surveys so dispiriting and I am not the one who's trying to sell.
Your DD is correct. Do not let this "buyer" offer you less again. Where does it stop?
Put the price up, not down.

There are some lovely houses in Peebles BTW. It's a really nice town. Kirsty and Phil did a programme from there a couple of years ago.

Thank you all so much for your support, I am so glad I have you to talk to. My daughter is very upset I am selling the house, and doubly upset the price is so low, but I have told her of my fear of running out of money. I still have to pay the stone mason £1200 plus, and he's only doing a repair. I can only save about £100 per month at a pinch from my pension, these big chunks are coming from my husband's savings and are going down very fast. I have to weigh up the repairs I'll face if I stay longer, which are only going to increase as time goes on - since my survey in March 2018 the house has definitely deteriorated. I have decided on my rock bottom price, which the house was valued at ten years ago for our remortgage, when we borrowed another £100K to convert the waiting rooms. Saying all this, I believe he is going to offer something daft that I will have to refuse.

I have now been looking at different counties for over a month, and today decided I'm going to stay in Northumberland, and just travel the world from here. I've felt scared looking at new areas and being completely alone there. I've looked at all of your suggestions and will go on short breaks there, thank you everyone for helping me. There is a monkey sanctuary in Wareham I'd like to volunteer at, but the area is now out of my price range.

Originally I couldn't bear to see someone else living here and wanted to go as far away as possible, but that feeling has gone now, I can't wait to leave the house and the worry it causes me and no longer care. My best friend of forty years, who has a partner, will call me mad as I have moaned to her about it up here for twenty years, but she is also having trouble finding somewhere to wants to 'retire'. The last house she offered on was built on the River Wyele in Wilton - flood risk is so great, I'm glad she withdrew.

I know I haven't appreciated what I have here, and would be foolish to leave an area with so many lovely people, the beach, my fantastic dentist, the vets, local railway station, bus station etc. I can buy a new build in the local town for around £300K, still take my dog to the beach every day, and when I no longer have chimneys falling off to worry about, can start going to yoga and having a lot more fun. When I get my bus pass in four years the bus station will be a walk away. With my shopping trolley - I think they are great, why do people struggle with huge bags!

Phew, I feel exhausted, do you? Ha ha, off to the shops in the dark, I love my driving glasses!

You are on the first step to being settled mosaics, maybe this is the turning point. You are at that stage that I went through, when I would have given my house away and perhaps your journey now will be less arduous. I loved northumberland and you are right to stay with what is familiar. I eventually stayed close to my last home and to what I was familiar with and it took a lot of stress away

Lots of hugs and wishes for a good outcome from negotiations. Once that is over then you will indeed be on the move