Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Mosaic and Crafty - Grief can be so overwhelming can’t it. No magic words of comfort to help you bear it, just try to look after yourselves.

So true what you were saying Crafty about making new acquaintances but a true friendship takes a long time. It’s one of my big worries about moving. When you are young you don’t realise how special a good friendship can be but as you get older you do value that more. I am someone who is happy to spend a lot of time alone but even so I will miss having a close friend nearby that knows me well and will offer support when needed.

Oh well, too late now to be having these fears.

extremely wise words from franbern, I too believe that we fit into the fate that has already been formed, if we don`t fit in yet then it is for a reason, maybe to test our patience like a limbo, maybe to keep us safe in a strange way.

Those programmes mosaics, they drove me to look at eg harrogate and there were lovely homes there for around 280, all done and renovated and given new life. I never thought that was possible any more. I would happily have downsized to one of those if I were moving north. As long as I had room for some sort of summer house/workshop I would have coped

I am going to find and listen to that radio 4 programme, I need focus now, more than ever. I find I am drifting, not coping with being alone every day. Doing my best to find clubs and new acquaintances but it takes years to make a friend that you can trust.. There are thousands like me, all feeling like a little bubble in the sea. A ten year plan is what I need too

I too feel sad, 4 1/2 years ago I had no idea that I would lose my husband and then my sister in law and my sister, all within 18 months. Being busy was a mask but I am feeling it now so I have to deal with it. My sisters birthday is on 22nd and I keep having flashbacks to times gone by

Thank you all so much for your good wishes and congratulations. You have all been very kind, especially as I have only been on this thread a short time. I wish I had found it a couple of months ago when I was tearing my hair out.

Completion is October 29.

In some ways it’s comforting to hear others also have problems driving a long distance now. I suppose it is something we have to learn to accept, but frustrating.

Franbern I hope you can exchange in the next couple of days. It’s good that you able to go to Weston and measure. With the flat you almost bought, but then didn’t, I had a similar experience in that a property I had liked came back on the market after 6 months but when I went to see it again I realised how tiny it was and was having to try and figure out what to get rid of to move there. The cottage I have now bought is a good size, so no problems fitting things in. I suppose a flat might have been sensible, now that I'm 68, but I fell in love with the cottage as soon as I saw it. Never been awfully good at doing the sensible thing!

Mosaic I can understand your fears about spending another winter in your house and I really hope you get a buyer very soon.

Have a good trip down Franbern, great you can go measuring this week, it's half term next week. Although saying that it's crowded here because of the Scottish half term being a week early. What a memorable day, the day before Brexit!

I was listening to Radio 4 this morning and realised I have to knuckle down and have a ten year plan, and work towards my future happiness. I just can't think straight still, I am quite numb, my grief is huge at the moment, my husband's birthday on 20th. I was speaking to my oldest friend recently and she reminded me of the time we drove to Brighton to see Elton John - I have no memory of it at all. I think I've blocked a lot out. Shame, it was probably a very good evening!

Thank you for the encouragement and words of comfort. I am just absolutely terrified at all the maintenance to do here which seems to be getting worse by the day. I opened the back door and a chunk of the kickboard at the bottom fell off Completely rotted, the back of the house gets the worst of the weather. The next viewer has a family, a granny, and a house to sell, I cannot think he will offer.

Off to the local town to see if my daughter can get some voluntary work, she is suffering with her lack of 'purpose' now she's left Uni and some structure in her week would help. Her job hunting isn't going well, I think it is very rude employers don't respond, I think it is very disheartening for people. I'm at such a different stage to so many people being an older Mum, I do wish I had the children earlier.

Have a good day all, skechers have finally finished going round in the machine, marvellous they can be washed.

Nearly forgot - thanks for the escape to the town tip craftyone, I have watched a few. I think these people are so lucky to be driven around to different houses, I always watch to see if they thank the presenter at the end - hardly any of them show true appreciation, in my eyes! I'd have flowers ready!

I think I am having a freudian slip. Keep typing for removal on 3oth November, it should be 30th October. Obviously, my mind is trying to push it further away.
Whiff, thanks for your advice, however do have to tell you that all research has shown absolutely no use for Cranberry juice with regards to UTI's, although there is obviously so many people who believe in this that it may have a theraputic effect for those people. Only thing that really works for me are different ab's.

Wise words Franbern. After I had a hysterectomy 23 yrs ago I had 6 UTI's that year. I read about a Swedish study regarding patients who had spinal injuries they were prone to UTI's. The drs found a glass of cranberry juice a day reduced the number they got. I have been having a glass everyday since and only had 2 UTI's in all those years. Hope this suggestion is helpful. Fingers crossed you exchange soon

So, it looks as if removal may be on 30th November. Not actually exchanged yet, so anything could go wrong, but we are all now in line for Completion on 30th.
ScaryKatt - like you I have so many mixed feellings. Most of all terrified. Am off down to WsM later today to go back to flat tomorrow to measure up for my furniture, etc. Hope it will make me feel a little better.
Thought at this stage I would be more relaxed, in fact I feel far more stressed and have started another UTI (after four blissful weeks free of these), sure this is down to stress.
Mosiacwarts -do not despair. I started this journey over four years ago. In 2015 had a purchaser for my house and found a lovely flat in WsM. This was in the May of that year and things just went on and on. It appeared as if my purchaser had not told the full truth as to his self-employment basis and the small mortgage company he wanted to use did not rush themselves. By Christmas I was feeling quite ill, and shortly afterwards the flat was sold to someone else and I pulled out of the sale of the house.
Then last year I tried for a brief time to sell the house. Went on the market on 1st July, had very few viewers, no offers and at end of September I took it off.
So again early this year - April, started again. Got offer quite quickly, but then that had to be withdrawn when they lost their own so-called cash purchaser, Another offer accepted for same amount and this went right through to when I was starting to get removal quotes when the purchasers suddenly pulled out for a very strange reason. First purchaser still wanted it, but still had not sold their property. Back to them briefly, but EA were unhappy and found me another purchaser very quickly - at a higher amount and this is the one that is now seemingly going to happen. (fingers crossed)
On the other hand good has come out of it. The flat I was after four years ago, was back on the market earlier this year and I viewed it. In that four years, I had changed what I felt was going to be good for me. That flat was a garden flat - ground floor. Now, do not want a garden and do not want ground floor. When I looked at it again, it appeared much smaller than I imagined it and a good way from my daughters house. Had I moved there four years ago, I would now be regretting it and unable to do anything.
What I am trying to say is that sometimes, things which are so difficult to cope with can work out for the best in the long run. Do try to take a long view and use the time to really decide what you want to move and where you wish to live.
Will let you all know when (if) contracts actually get exchanged.

Scaredykatt, oh good, congratulations, at last another one to exchange

Mosaics, I watched a couple of those escape to a perfect town progs and they were very interesting. Made me feel that maybe I should have gone to a busier little town but I quickly shoved that thought out of my head. Buses and parks are very appealing, no parks here. I watched Thirsk and knaresborough, saw lovely houses in harrogate. So many houses are beautifully renovated these days

I too would go off the market for winter mosaics, you need a rest and some breathing space and perhaps brexit will be settled by then and some stability back into the market.

Me too re driving, I no longer go up the motorway, I sometimes go to wales but that is as far as I will go. It is restricting but the motorway is constantly manic and I hate driving at night or in lashing rain. DD asked me to stay for late lunch (4pm) as I am babysitting while they go running all day. I said yes but tbh am having collywobbles as it will be getting dark by 6. I think I am going to change my mind

ScaredyKatt
Well doe!! Phew.

Mosaicwarts
Craftyone mentioned Abergavenny. It led me to think of a Welsh town that my friend moved to last year: Llandudno.
We went to visit and we were so impressed.
Obviously beautiful surroundings. Very very clean. Good selection of shops. Lots of nice eateries.
But the most important: it had what I call a lovely feel about it.

Scaredykatt congratulations on exchanging. No turning back now. When do you complete? It's normal to be scared but look to the future. Thing of all the fun to be had choosing new colour schemes etc for your new home. Meeting new people and having new experiences. For me even ending up in hospital last week for a couple of days was a positive experience as the care I got was excellent.

Onwards and upwards Scaredykatt.

Mosaic that is very kind of you to offer me congratulations. I do hope you get a buyer soon. You must be quite fed up with it all, especially with worries about the boiler etc. I also use rescue remedy and it does help. I used to drive very long distance without a second thought, but not now. I will have lots of breaks on the way.

I understand about you being down about the viewing. I had around 20 viewings and so often I felt 'these were the ones' only for them not make an offer.

Have you decided yet where you might move to? I think you were eyeing up Bournemouth. Anywhere else you are considering?

Congratulations ScaredyKatt! What marvellous news! Coffee cake cupcake on it's way - ! Take it easy with the driving, plan lots of refreshment stops. I use the Rescue Remedy spray when I'm going on a scary drive - to me - and I am sure it calms me. As I get so anxious my mouth gets dry so I have to have my water bottle too.
I can't drive on the motorway at all, when I move I'm giving my car to my garage mechanic (diesel - will be very hard to sell anyway), I'll have to buy a second hand car when I get down there.

I'm a bit down about the viewing, thanks for your kind wishes. My laptop is in the kitchen and the central heating is making all sorts of awful noises, I know it probably always has done, I was just too busy in the past to notice. I've got wireless headphones now and just block it all, I can't afford to have the system replaced and must just live with it.

Washing up then watching the Apprentice - although it makes me cringe sometimes!

Well I've exchanged! Very relieved after all the delays but do now feel scared and a bit anxious again. Both about the future of moving somewhere 200 miles away and also about the drive to get there, as I am not such a confident driver as I used to be. I have done the trip before but not after all the stress of moving!

Mosaic sorry to hear about the 'too much work' feedback. That’s very disappointing for you. Fingers crossed for the next one. I understand about you wanting to come off the market for a while, as it’s so stressful having viewers and trying to keep everything in show house condition, then the disappointment when they don’t want to buy. Post a bit of coffee cake to me please.

Crafty - the other thing that is useful when looking at places to visit/live is Google street view when one can 'walk' down a road.

iplayer. Escape to the perfect town. Interesting visits to various market towns, am watching Abergavenny just now, used to go shopping there when we loved in s wales. Might give you some ideas mosaics, of where to live

Nice young couple with four children have just been to take our huge gas barbecue away, happy memories of my husband making all the food for my son's garden party.

Thanks craftyone, nice to think of you pottering around in your garden, next year you'll be able to eat your own fruit as you walk round. My neighbour's small apple tree came down in the storms. They'd put a heavy bird feeder on it and the combined weight of the apples has broken it I haven't been in there to do anything to it in case I make it worse. I always liked Geoff Hamilton's garden designs, I've kept my small collection of his books.

I have to face the unpleasant fact that the developers that come to view the house, if they do ever offer, want to offer the lowest possible price to make the highest possible profit. My viewing later in the month is a family who want to put a granny in the annexe - lucky granny. The thought of coming off the market on 1st December feels like a huge relief, I might stay off until the spring, I'm so tired of it all. I had viewings right through the winter last year and had to rush to take down my decorations.

I'm making another coffee cake, wish I had a pestle and mortar to crush the coffee granules, will have to be the rolling pin and greaseproof. I'll save you all a piece!

sigh, mosaics, at least you got to know speedily, if there is an upside

Better morning so far, I got myself into the garden, just quietly weeding a bit and digging stones. I aim to have one bucket of the blighters every time I go to the tip. The soil was dreadfully sticky, not at all nice to handle but at least I was outside, I hate being in all day but no-where to go yesterday

I have decided to have one of those old fashioned pottering gardens, fruit, flowers, herbs and veg here and there. No grass, only stepping stones made of rubber. Not many more flowers are going in, too many natural weeds here, esp tenacious mallow

Morning Whiff, I have just had feedback - too much work, [sigh}. I've got another viewing booked in for the 22nd, number 12. I hope to enjoy winter more when I'm confident of the roof/boiler etc in my new future home - my central heating made such loud banging noises last night I put my wireless headphones on! Please keep working!

Personally I'd ask Pickfords for a new mattress, that sounds like a real faff. My daughter bought a memory foam OTTY mattress and her shoulder pain is better. It comes in a box - as it has a 'cool gel' top you can't use an electric blanket.

I havent' seen SueH49 on here for a while, best wishes to her with her op.

Off to meet a friend for coffee in a large second hand book shop, heaven! Still thinking about 'The Children's Book' I've just read by A S Byatt - such meticulous detail, it must have taken her years to research.

Have a good day all x

Mosaicwarts hope you are feeling better about things. Did you have feed back via your estate agent about your viewing?

The dark nights can be a pain but what I love about the winter is being able to snuggle up in woolly jumpers drinking hot chocolate and watching an old black and white film on the box and not feel that I should be doing something productive.

Craftyone hope you are feeling brighter this morning and have something fun to do today.

Had a mattress cleaning firm come and look at my mattress for a quote for cleaning. I had used Dr Beckman to get the worst stain off and the colour has run a bit. The gentleman who came told me that because of the age of the mattress it will run when cleaned also take 24hrs with the heating on to dry out. It will be touch dry after a hour but needs the extra time to dry out thoroughly. Have to talk to my daughter as I don't know if it is worth having it done or making Pickfords pay for a new mattress.

Does anyone know if SueH49 has had her hip operation?

Have a good day everyone.

Craftyone
I watched that a while ago. Isn't it the most uplifting story.
Loved it.

I hope you get some sun today mosaics. Winter sad is very real for many people

Thanks craftyone, I'll give it a go tomorrow. I'm horribly and terribly bored today and do have a million things to do, but can't be bothered. Walking my dog tonight on my own in the dark just about finished me off, since my husband died I absolutely dread the winter. I have got a SAD light somewhere but lost the electric cord in my decluttering flurry of activity.

Watching the news and an early night I think, meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow, knocks my whole routine off so maybe I'll feel reenergised.

Night night x

The next time anyone las a low day, try and watch the green book on amazon prime. I had a struggle with winter blues today, that film lifted me. It was just right. I think people are starting to struggle, too wet and horrible to be going out and there is a limit to cleaning indoors. So now I am up to bed soon feeling brighter, never thought that would happen today

That is awful petra - what a terrible thing for your solicitor to do to you!

As for the boiler in the lounge - poor man being duped like that due to the plumber's laziness and deception. I hope to find a bungalow, if I can't afford one, a small house with a downstairs toilet in case I can't get upstairs in the future.

ScaredyKatt
The horror which was our last move didn't end there.
3 months after moving in I received a court summons for non payment of council tax on the flat I'd sold
The buyers solicitor hadn't registered the flat in the new owners name!!!

Mosaicwarts
Old people left living in grotty conditions.
This bungalow had the boiler in the sitting room
The only place it could go was in the loft but they told him that wasn't possible ? So he sat with the boiler going on/off!!!
My other half managed to move it into the loft?