Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Great news Franbern! I am keeping everything crossed for you.

Good luck too ScaredyKatt, watch the sweeties with sorbital! Thanks for the good luck wishes, I'm past caring really, I think I will end up having to do the scary auction. I've had 20+ viewings too and with all the renovations can only really have cash buyers, I'm losing faith in my EA finding me the right type of buyer. I wish they'd phone me to ask if an appointment was convenient, it is difficult with my dog. Talking of reading the details, I went to view a property and the on-line companies don't give the seller a paper copy, you can only read the details on line. I've got my paper details in the house and leave them on the kitchen table with the house plans, history books we feature in etc, so people can look if they've forgotten theirs.

Off to the shops if the car can make it through the autumn winds, nearly blew my hair off on the beach!

Oh Franbern that sounds like good news! My buyers' solicitor is either very overworked or lazy, not sure which, as he leaves paperwork from my solicitor not looked at for several weeks at a time and last week denied he had received the buyers' mortgage offer only to find, once it was re-sent twice, that he had it all along. Tension mounting again as we edge slowly towards exchange. Still feeling anxious and a bit unsure though about the whole move. Currently munching through the Halloween sweets I bought for local children - tension always makes me want to eat sweet things that I don’t normally bother with.

I am starting to accept that I can no longer do some of the DIY tasks that I used to tackle and have factored in money to pay for decorating etc. I too love a slightly off white indoors.

Good luck with the viewing Mosaicwarts. Very stressful keeping the house in showroom condition. I had about 20 viewers and some give such stupid reasons for not wanting it - do people not read the EAs details!

WHOO>......... just received a phone call from EA in Weston. it appears as almost everything is now in place - just a query as my Solicitor has asked for the original copy of the lease. Looks like it is all actually happening!!!
He told me he was accompanying one of the decorators I had contacted to the flat today, and I mentioned that perhaps there should be notification to and permission from the vendors for this to go ahead after exchange and he is contacting them re. this today.
Exciting times indeed. sure panic about this move will set in very soon.

It was actually the EA who put the idea in my head that work could be carried out on the flat once Contract Exchange had taken place. They are, obviously, being kept informed and have he names of the painters I have contacted for quotes. Can't see why this would be a problem. The flat is empty.
I have just heard a horrific story from a former colleague of mine. these were first time buyers and were due to move into their house today. Contracts exchanged last week. There had always been some sort of query on the outside garden space, and it appears as if the seller actually lied about this (to their solicitor), and when they tried to take down the fence to open up the extra area, the neighbours threatened to sue. So, the purchase of this house collapsed yesterday.
I do understand that once contracts are exchanged there is a legally binding contract (those purchasers will be able to get all sorts of costs back), but was not the sort of story I was wanting to read about at present.
When I had my fall - I was not actually climbing anywhere, I stepped backwards and tripped over something behind me. However, past quite horrific falls have been as the result of ladders, etc. and this last one shook me so much (I am still in pain from it even 9 months later), that even the small kitchen steps worry me when i use them.

Franbern - will you be allowed to have decorators in between exchange and completion? Estate agents gave keys to a family member after exchange and he was decorating. The vendors somehow found out and made a huge fuss. My vendors didn't even want me to go with the agent to measure up after exchange last year.

Thank heavens it was only a fracture Franbern, so sorry it happened to you.

I'm scared of ladders after rescuing the butterfly and the ladder tilted sideways, I 'saw' the accident in my head as it nearly happened. Would have bashed my head on the corner of the stairs, could have lain there unconscious for a long time. Saying that, I still leave my phone charging in the kitchen, instead of my pocket. I watched 'In the ambulance' the other night - a man used a small kitchen stepladdery/stool to check his smoke alarm and fell down the whole flight of stairs with his legs caught in the ladder.

No more ladders for me, unless there is someone here to hold it. I'm OK doing the electric reading as it's such a narrow cupboard, could possibly get impaled with a coat hook though - the meter is an old one, ten foot up above the door, but I use my phone to photograph the reading by holding my trembling arm out and above my head!

Thanks for the good wishes for my viewing, I'm hoping she is the one, number 11 since I went with this new agent.

I do feel so disappointed the cash buyer pulled out, he had texted me with his hopes and dreams of what he'd do here - shame it was a complete fantasy!

mosaicwarts - this will be the one! ?

Yes scaredykatt, there have been bad times for all of us, then when we get near to exchange we dare not even breathe and even after exchange there are anxious moments. Mosaics, good, another viewer is good, we are all hoping for that necessary outcome, everything crossed

I love slightly off white inside, I am going to have auro paint all over again when I need the decorator in. I have never had a decorator do inside, the worst part was always pulling furniture away from walls, will a decorator do that? One room gets messy and it always spreads over the house.

I am a bit out of the loop at the moment, have been carving and using a scrollsaw, had to buy some good ear defenders as my new dust extractor is loud. I brought my sharpening stones into the kitchen earlier and spent half an hour sharpening some tools for my lesson tomorrow. I am very grateful to have new focus. Upside to being alone is being able to do sharpening in the kitchen and carving indoors in winter

Franbern, oh that fall, sent a shiver up me, I still climb on ladders and only 2 years ago was up a long ladder painting a verandah, it was tied to railings but even so. I very rarely stand on the top step of a step ladder now, always keep one step below as it feels safer. I have 2 sizes of aluminium step ladder and a step stool

Oh Scarykatt. I have always done all my own painting decorating in the past. Indeed, the old family house, large, Edwardian I did everything - painting, wallpapering, even taking down and replacing old lathe and plaster wall between two bedrooms, tiling in bathroom.
Also did all the decorating when i moved into this house 16 years ago. Up until earlier this year, when - for the first time in my adult life - I got in a painter and decorator to do the hallway and stairs, etc.
Not sure what it is, but there is no doubt a professional job is that much better than DiY.
After my all earlier in the year which gave me a fracture of the spine, I am now totally forbidden to climb on any sort of ladder, etc.
If it all happens, the I will have got the flat for ten grand less than its original selling price and that will very much more than cover having a professional decorator come in as well as having wardrobes built into the main bedroom.

Hello, thank you all for such nice welcoming messages. I do actually feel a bit calmer today, thank goodness.

Craftyone - ah, didn’t realise there was an earlier 'part one' thread. Have now read a few pages of that and see lots of people have had problems with buying and selling.

Mosiacwarts - I have lived in a village before, for 18 years, and I was very happy there. I have lived in many places, including London & currently live on the edge of a medium sized town so it’s not such a contrast as it would be if I were moving from a city. Sorry to hear you are feeling anxious and I hope you are able to get a good buyer and the small warm home you seek soon.

Franbern - good idea to get decorator quotes and to aim to get it done between exchange and completion. My new cottage is mainly painted while, and not in too bad a condition. In the past I have always done my own decorating but I have decided I will get someone in the cottage needs doing as my energy isn’t what it used to be.

Just had a call from the EA with a viewing for Saturday. Cash buyer, might need a small mortgage, looking for a renovation project. Not hopeful as I doubt mortgage lender will lend, but I'll let the viewing go ahead, will go for coffee with my dog and daughter. I so wish I could just hibernate and let someone else do this

I think it is great you are being optimistic, why not, you've had four years of waiting surely it is your turn for good luck!

I had to bite the bullet and get my son and daughter's bedrooms painted, plus the main lounge. It was really stressful, we'd just got back from Venice and the decorator rang and said he had an unexpected cancellation and could come the next day. Had to hurl everything everywhere. Glad I did it though - son's bedroom was turquoise, daughter's was orange - ceiling as well! Lounge was a dark gold colour called tapestry, but we'd smoked in there for years and it was dull. I used an off white called 'Timeless', as the house is so old bright white looks odd.

Hope all three decorators turn up and do quote. I'm still waiting for the sash window specialist quotation, perhaps he is nervous to send it as it's so much. No stone mason to do the porch or outside either, so I could have bought the wood up when the weather was nice. Two dumpy sacks in the driveway waiting to be carried up.

I am feeling very anxious again and must try to be calm. The central heating did come on and might last another winter, but makes such scary noises. I checked them all and all were hot at the top so water is getting through. Unfortunately looks like the chimney pointing person didn't point the chimney properly in 2017 as the woodburner isn't working again, the fire isn't drawing properly, I am scared it is so very cold here, I can't wait for a small cosy home.

Have a good day, I'm taking my daughter and her new boyfriend back to the station for his long journey home.

Do feel that I am tempting fate...... I have started to get quotes from decorators for the flat. It is rather 'sad' and in need of a good coat of paint throughout. I do find it quite amazing that the sellers did not do this before they put on the market. Think, if they had, they would not have needed to have reduced the sale price by ten grand.
So, I am trying to get quotes now, ideally - would be able to get at least the large Living room decorated in that time between exchange and completion - but think I am, perhaps, being a little over optimistic.
Have arranged with the EA in Weston for three decorators to be able to have access to the flat for quote purposes.
Of course, I do keep telling myself that nothing is at all definite. But do also have to prepare for the 'best' outcome.

Hi ScaredyKatt welcome to the group. It's a nice group and very supportive.
Franbern a very good idea about a clothes rail hadn't thought of that. The house we're buying has no fitted bedroom furniture had forgotten that, although we have a large old chest of drawers and 2 bedside small drawer units we are taking.
OH bought a printer today so have been printing out our survey and searches from solicitors. We gave daughter our printer when she moved out as she needed one for her work. Have lots of email attachments for the house we're buying but no news about our sale yet sadly. Think the purchase is ready to go but just waiting for our buyers.
Was feeling down today but reminded myself that at least I have a nice warm house here and a caravan I can stay in that's got heating. Thought about those sleeping rough and in tents vans etc and reminded myself how lucky I am. Made me feel better. Had the flu jab today so don't feel too great anyway tonight.
All the best to everyone hope it all happens for you soon xx

Hello ScaredyKatt, welcome to the group, wishing you all the best with your move. Have you lived in a small village before? I'm from London and moved up here twenty years ago, sharp learning curve. My tip for village living would be to remember that everyone nearly always knows everyone else ... and sometimes they are related! I was shocked when my accountant's wife conducted my husband's ashes ceremony, I knew she was training as a lay reader but hadn't realised she'd carried on. Luckily I was brought up not to say anything unless it's nice, so have only put my foot in it a few times. Enjoy the community you join

being a scientist, oceanography and geophysics, I have to say that climate change is a natural phenomenon, caused by changing sun cycles. Pollution is caused by people and that alone is bad, as is forest destruction. We are entering a phase characterised by rapid and extreme changes in temperature.

Scaredykatt, have a read of the first thread, that was started when I was in your position, before exchange. Emotions are heightened and it was very frightening indeed, doing it by myself. Your daughter is right, it is frightening and very exhausting

Franbern - What you said about being contrary is exactly what I seem to be at the moment! A few weeks ago it looked like the buyers would not get their mortgage due to a problem with my house, then that was approved only for there to be delays due to the chap being self employed. Whilst that was going on I was really upset that I wouldn’t be able to move and would lose the house I wanted to buy. So it seems crazy that now their mortgage offer has gone to the solicitors and we should be able to exchange soon that I am thinking maybe it’s all a mistake and feeling so scared.
All along my daughter has been telling me that I must expect that once I move I will feel exhausted and unsettled - I just wasn’t expecting that to happen before I move.
I'm 68 and will be moving to Cornwall. I know that I will join various things and make new friends, but of course new friends are different to those you have known for 20 years & where you have been there for each other over the years.
Thanks for ‘listening' and your encouragement.
On something different - like you I also went on marches in the past and I am pleased to see how young people are reacting to the threat of climate change.

Thanks also to Craftyone for your encouragement with my move fears - very interesting to read some of your previous posts regarding craft work.

welcome scaredycat, you are with friends who understand, we have all been affected by the terrible roller coaster and many a time we have only coped because of people on here who can truly empathise. Say whatever you like, vent if you like and believe that one day, it gets better

I am completely in opposition to ET, not the basic principle but the fact that it is being run by anti-capitalists who have managed to suck in the good hearted people who care. I wish they would confine their protests to the Chinese and Indian embassies. The whole of europe produces 3% CO2 and China alone produces 10%. The ET crowd is being manipulated and I am very glad I don`t have to be in London

Great post Franbern!

Whiff, I am not annoyed by the climate Change Protesters. Indeed, I can only thank them and am so delighted that there are so many young people out there who are passionate and caring about such an important issue.
So much better than worrying about the lifes of so-called celebs or voting for tv reality programmes. More power to them.
When I was young I had the same sort of passion and committment to CND - similar sort of thing. If there is real danger to our planet, very little else matters!
Same sort of thing were said about us, by the powers-that-be. We were called beatniks, and told to return to our middle class homes. My home was with my parents in a small council flat in East London (Hackney was not a fashionable area back then!!). I had been in part-time employment since the age of 13 years and full-time employment since I left school a few weeks after my 15th birthday. Strange sort of beatnik!!!
In order to go on some demos. I (we) had to take time out of work either as out annual leave or just unpaid leave as I imagine many of the current protesters are doing.
These days I can do little in the way of demonstrating and protesting as I have such limited mobility. But, I do try in a small way to cut down on plastic products, etc.
It is totally disgusting that Food Banks should need to exist. The over whelming majority of people who use them are people who are employed.
Whereas, they do a wonderful job - I do sometimes worry if we who volunteer at them and all those people who donate to them are just helping to prop up those companies who pay such disgustingly low rates.
Sorry - this is very off topic, but I feel my heart lift a little whenever I see those wonderful climate change protesters, and had to make my feelings known

Welcome ScardyKatt. You seem to have joined us as you reach the end of this long road of moving.
I totally empathise with your feelings of panic. I have been trying to move from my house in London/Essex borders to a flat in Weston super Mare, on and off for the past four years.
This time it appears as it might be successful (no contracts yet exchanged so could go all wrong yet again).
I have thought this all through so many times ....YET when it is going wrong I desperately want to make that move and YET as soon as things seem to be happening I have total panic attacks about it and want to stay put.
Thought it was just me who so contrary.
I am 78 years old and have lived in London virtually all of my life. It is a frightening thought going so far away from all I have known. If I make this move I will be less than half a mile from No. 2 daughter and her family, I do know people in WsM as in my many visits down there I have met them.
Think it is quite normal to feel rather frightened when doing something so new - particularly as we get older. However, glad you are nearly at the end of this and I am sure that once you have had a chance to settle into your new home you will be really pleased you did it.
One of my daughters, who managed to move her entire family (husband and two young daughters) from Northern Ireland to Eastbourne last year does keep saying to me that there will be times after I have moved when I will wake up wondering what on earth I have done.......but these times will get less and less.
good Luck, keep in touch with this site.

Hello everyone, I've just joined partly as I put into Google 'anyone terrified of moving' which took me to mumsnet and then to here. My house sale has been dragging on ages but now that I am within a couple of weeks of moving instead of being excited I feel frightened and wondering if I have made an awful mistake. I've moved quite lot before, but I'm a lot older now. I'm moving 200 miles from an area where I have some close friends to a village in a beautiful area 10 miles from where my daughter lives, which is the main reason for going. Be nice to hear if anyone else has do e something similar and how it worked out for them.

Franbern like you I know how fortunate I am. At lot of families rely on food banks. I give food to them but also sanitary products. My daughter told me many years ago how much they were needed. These extinction rebellion protesters get on my nerves. I know the environment is important but there are a lot more deserving causes. Don't this people work for a living. I see a women took her children out of school to go too protest. Why?

I hope you have some good news about your move this week.

Those rails are great Franbern, I got one so I could hang Steve's shirts in the ironing room. Indeed, where will you be unpacking your boxes! So exciting! I've not done any more packing, but have sold two sets of lights on ebay. One set is being collected which makes me feel nervous, but I'll have to see what happens and hope they do bring the cash. Having a terrible job packing the second set to post, glass is so fragile.

I'm glad you do the food bank, although I am very sorry it is necessary in the 21st century. My friend taught at Elephant and Castle years ago and asked the six year old kids what they'd had for tea the night before .... a boy put his hand up and said he'd had a packet of biscuits. A whole one. As a kid I had to look after my little brother for the six weeks summer holidays, and my Mum bought a sack of potatoes and I had to make chips for us every day. That's when I set fire to the chip pan and ran out the garden with it - I still remember the deep rumbling it was making! I've never owned a chip pan as an adult, scare me.

My daughter is out with her boyfriend in the village, I'll be off to collect her soon. I'm looking forward to watching Confession later, hopefully eating fajitas cooked by someone else!

Think I am indulging in a little optimism. If I do make this move to the flat I will be taking no bedroom furniture at all (except bed) as at present ALL my bedroom furniture is fitted in. So, whilst waiting to get wardrobes fitted I will need a rail on which to hang some everyday items. I have splurged out a whole £15 at Argos for such a rail, and spent an hour building it. Such a small amount but makes me feel that it could be actually happening.
Although I am going to have removal company doing the packing, I have already got boxes of things (all clearly marked) lying around. Do really wonder where I will be unpacking them.
Today I spent the morning marking the 'Best by' dates on food items at my local food bank. It is so sad that they have been extremely busy these last weeks due to children being off school, so no school meals, etc.
Makes me realise how very fortunate me and mine are.