Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Mosaic & Crafty
I'm so sorry that your both going through this very difficult time with your grief ?

Crafty
I firmly believe that the home that is meant for us is out there waiting. I fell in love with the first bungalow we viewed. To be honest it was the garden I wanted. It wasn't meant to be.
I see now that fate had a plan.

My dearest friend is next door but 1 to me. This might sound daft at my age. After all, I've got friends I've had for 50 years but no 2 women could be closer and we've only known each other for 5 years.

Whatever you believe in: fate/ god. 'They' have a plan for you ?

Petra that is very cheering that you have made a good close friend in later life. I hope I am as lucky as you. You mentioned about a bungalow that you fell in love with but it wasn't meant to be - save me going through lots and lots of previous post can you tell me what that means? Did you then buy something else you believe now was a better 'fit' for you? Sorry if that sounds nosey, just wondering.

I do agree with Franbern and ScaredyKatt - my move took a long time and in that time I changed my mind about what type of house I wanted and where I wanted to move to. Sometimes a delay is useful.
Craftyone - I'm also finding that after all the work and stress of the move I'm feeling a bit at a loose end now. I had two sons living at home until three years ago and started the moving process when they left so this is the first time ever I am not mega busy.

ScaredyKatt
No, your not being nosy, my life's an open book ?
We then went to view a bungalow in the Close that we now live in but we lost that one.
We then came to look our now home.
I mentioned my lovely friend and as if it couldn't get better my lovely next door neighbour cuts my hair and I do her garden ( it's a very simple one as she's still working) ?
She's over the moon with us as my OH is a DIY supremo and does a lot of jobs for her.
Every 3 weeks 5 of us go for afternoon tea and every once in a while we all get together ( with husbands) in each other's bungalows.
It could not be better ?

Mosaicwarts and Craftyone in my experience grief never stops you just learn to cope better with it. You are both still in what I call the early years of grief. 15 years on and I miss my husband more as the years go by. Especially as the children get older and of course because we have 3 grandsons . I suppose like us we had planned what we wanted to do in the future. Don't know if you feel like I do but when my husband died my present and future died to. I had to make a new present and future. It is very hard to do but you can't just curl up and die to. I have always been a quiet shy person but I was determined not to be a worry to the children even though I am at times. They tell me how proud of me they are as they didn't think I would cope on my own. It's only really the last 2 years that I have been so confident. Having jaundice made me dangerously ill and because I was so ill I couldn't do anything for months. All I could do was think and looking back on the things that had happened in my life I don't know how I coped but I did. I thought about what I wanted out of life. It was only 3 things on my list. Lose weight , move and get fit. Lost 7st 10lbs 6.25lbs to go. Love my bungalow. Do exercises everyday. Tick tick tick.

On the subject of friends old and new. I haven't got a lot but apart from one we have been friends for over 40 yrs. My latest friend we only met 18 months ago it's like we have known each other for years. I have since my husband died kept myself open as you never know who you will met in this life. There a lot of weird people out there but also some wonderful ones.

Putting my house on the market and all I went through to sell and buy my new home I can honestly say was worse than when my husband died. It's the not knowing when and if the sale will go through and the time it takes. You can't relax and I know my health suffered.

Hope all of you still in the process have good news soon about your move .

It seems to be not just me, I suppose it is the anti climax plus winter all wrapped up in a bundle. I was thinking that I will not be doing a ten year plan, that is daft at my age. I think maybe a 30 day plan for now, at least that will settle me in small hops

Petra that was a very positive post, about your friend. When I think back to living in s wales, the people at work who were best friends had all been to the same school and no-one could enter their circles, so it was best to find friends from outside the circles

I talk to people all the time, when I am out at groups or even when sitting at a talk, in the interval. So very many women all by themselves, saying how they get home and feel so alone. Ok, this is something we have to get to terms with, action plans for down days. I have noticed that men get a new partner quickly, I suppose it is how they cope, my brother, brother in law and both my male neighbours. Not for me, I married once, for life

The action plan for this month: to find the theatre in the next and busier town, to find the car park, so that I have another venue to explore. I found the small local theatre and car park and have already booked three events, roughly one a week. To start tai chi in 2 weeks time, to scrollsaw two new tree ornaments for christmas. That town, I need to explore on a quiet sunday, not with cars whizzing all around. If I don`t get off my butt, I will fester

GM, I changed my mind in a mega way too. Knew I wanted this one as soon as I came here to look

I didn`t see the last two posts, thank you for both your openess and your wisdom whiff.

and I include you in my thanks petra

Well it's not going well with our sale and purchase here. We thought the 1st November was a set date for both but solicitors say the purchaser's won't have their paperwork ready in time. We recieved questions to answer from them today.
The house we're buying that was ready to go anytime as moving to an empty property had a holiday booked so can't possibly move until the middle of November.
Well I thought it was all set for November 1st so mated the dog as really want to keep one of the pups. She's due 1st December which would have given us a month to settle in. Now it's looking like her having puppies in our touring caravan or daughter's kitchen so not ideal as would have to move them
And to make things worse I have a chest infection so will probably end up with emergency appointment as I have COPD so it won't clear without antibiotics. Always starts as just a cold but today I'm wheezing so will ring tomorrow.
Really fed up today sorry for moaning but do feel better writing it all down.
All the best to everyone on here xxxx

sazzl, I had last minute questions from my purchaser, I think it is delaying tactics. Please stay warm and take great care with that copd of yours. Antibiotics quickly or it might mean intravenous antibiotics. My husband had to have antibiotics handy in the house.

Sazzl sorry you are being messed about. I think some solicitors do it on purpose that way they can charge extra. My solicitor lost her temper with my buyers solicitor and that was the only way it got sorted in the end. Moan all you like it does you good to vent.
Sorry you have a chest infection it's the last thing you want on top of all this. Hope you get better soon.

Sorry to read your news sazzl, how frustrating. Take care of your chest, Steve had COPD, this heavy autumn air doesn't help. Get well soon, I hope you have better news next week.

Sazzle - Sorry to hear of all your problems with the house and more enquires coming in. Regarding your COPD - I also have a lung condition and my respiratory clinic sent a request to my GP that I be issued 14 days worth of antibiotics to keep in readiness, as like you I need to act swiftly or become very ill. It was good for the decision whether to take them to be handed back to me as I know at once if I have more than my 'normal' cough, and have a temperature etc. It won’t help you for this bout but might be worth asking for the future?

Petra thanks for telling me about the bungalow. You seem to have been very fortunate in the Close you have moved to.

Crafty well done with all you have arranged, theatre etc. Oh dear that sounds patronising, I didn’t mean it like that.

Whiff its very encouraging to hear that you have also made a new friend that you get on well with. Hopefully I shall do the same. I'm planning to join various groups - U3A, reading group etc.

Well, we are back to my chosen date for completion of 29th October. Reason I have driven that date is that it is half=term week in Weston S Mare, so I can have my daughter availalable down there to help me. Packing to be done on the Monday and completion and moving on the Tuesday. Going in to Solicitors on Monday morning to sign final paperwork, he says exchange will be later in the week.
However, my buyers and their buyers have all agreed to 29th October now.
Thoroughly enjoyed visit to flat - make me feel very upbeat for a short time. It is going to take a time to settle in as it all needs painting. Met decorator there and he will try to come in almost as soon as I move in, but it will mean that I will not be able to move furniture properly in position or unpack until he finishes.
Some minor queries raised their head eg: could not find where the leccie and gas meters are. Several locked cupboards in ground floor lobby area, probably one of them is in there, but I have contacted the agents this morning pointing out that I really will need to be able to read them as I move in.
When the original thread here started Craftytone was almost at the end of the road of selling and did say that this final bit was the most stressful part of it. Could not sleep at all last night as all the things that have to be done in this final week kept going round and round in my head. Having got home today have put on freecycle a double divan, a single bed and a desk. Need to get these out of the way, and tomorrow need to start all the informing companies and organisations etc. etc.
Just seems to get more and more stressful. Thought I would be happy at this point, but am feeling totally exhausted and quite frightened.
ScaredyKatt - seems it looks as if we will be making the move on the same day. At least my chosen removal company are happy with the dates.

Franbern- I hope your exchange does go ahead this week. I too thought I would feel relieved and excited at this stage but instead of which I feel sick and scared. I have lots of lists with things to get through this week. I'm actually having the removal people to pack for me which I have not done before - so I hope they turn up! Fingers crossed we should both be in our new properties very soon.

Hey Franbern, I've got a pad and pen by the bed for those circular thoughts, just stick your bedside light on and jot them down. My daughter laughs at me as she makes notes on her phone, but I'm not fast enough to type them in.

Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.

Have a good evening whatever you are doing x

That'll teach me, I could hardly sleep at all for worrying last night, wrote a book of worries! Platform windowsill outside has obviously been poked by a viewer and is now coming loose, woodburner isn't drawing so looks as though chimney pointing wasn't done properly, the list is endless. I wish I had the money to do it but know that is silly, I can't rattle around here on my own even if I did have the money.

Off on the train with my daughter to meet my son for lunch, hopefully will take my mind off it. My late husband's birthday today, he would have been 67. On return I'm taking flowers to the cemetery and lighting his candle. I'm copying someone's idea - they unwrap their flowers and tie with a ribbon, much nicer than leaving in a flapping plastic that ends up in the sea.

Have a good day whatever you are doing, the rain is relentless here.

Would not believe the difficulties in GIVING AWAY furniture. Put the divan bed and the single bed on freecycle in my two local boroughs. Seemed to have lots of replies, but then noticed that many of these seem to be interlinked email addresses, just using different names. They then ask for piccies (which were supplied with the advert.) and measurements, which were supplied with the advert. I now have been given to understand that many of these are just automatic responses to all adverts. with the people not really interested, often sharing same email addresses and not responsing when I try to contact them to ask when they can collect. So, I will try to contact charities that take furniture tomorrow, otherwise they will just be included in the House Clearance of all sorts of rubbish, which I am hoping to arrange next Friday. Think once this has all gone I will be alittle more relaxed
On Monday week (all being and going well) Remover Packers come in and do their thing. They will be loading everything onto the lorry, including my bed, so will stay overnight with daughter near here.
Fingers and everything else crossed things are going to work out.

Franbern thinking of you as we both edge towards our move. I did manage to give some things away using a site called 'next door'. Probably too late to mess about joining that if you are not already a member. I too have the removal people coming on Monday week to pack. I've never had packers before so it seems odd to still have most if my possessions in place as previously by now I would be surrounded by boxes!

Feeling tense and anxious here, and a bit sad and lost to be leaving good friends behind.

Hope your exchange goes ahead in the next couple of days.

Mosaic enjoy your family lunch. Sorry to hear you are so stressed about the things that need doing to your house. I hope you do get a buyer very soon.

mosaics, I wish I could do something to help. I wish you could get out and into your new home. I used to do share trading, was quite good at it, too long to go into but one of the best things to do was to cut the losses ie if a share lost x% then you sold it and forgot about it and moved onto something else. My gut feeling for you is that you have two choices right now, auction with a definite outcome and move on with your life, or being stuck, like a trader rabbit facing headlights and watching your home go down and down in value because of accruing maintenance costs. Real maintenance not just a covering patch. That is the vibe that I am getting. Somehow but somehow there is a decision to be made and you have to take emotion and feelings out of it, you have to preserve and get on with your life. Your house is making you ill and dragging you down financially, mentally and emotionally

Franbern and scaredykatt, I wish you all the luck in the world, that you both have smooth moves. Your posts are very interesting and I sense the excitement and trepidation

I also use something similar to Next Door. Today have given away (and had collected) my lovely office desk, and two bookcases. Lady says she is coming tomorrow for double divan - hopefully she will keep her word. I have two large sacks full of pillows, cushions and duvets which I am taking tomorrow to a local lady who uses them at her Animal Charity. Another load of stuff to Charity Shop. Have pruned the roses - hopefully my last ever bit of gardening!!!!
I hope that when I meet with my Solicitor tomorrow morning he will be able to tell me the Exchange date. All of us involved in the chain are set for Completion and Removal on 29th, but it would be good to have that last bit in place.
Have had to throw away several items from my large freezer. will not have anything like that amount of freezer space in the flat and would rather get rid of stuff here than when I get down there.
Am getting there. Keeping busy stops me getting too worried as to whether or not I am doing the right thing.

Special love today mosaics {flowers]

Thinking of you mosaic. x

Hello friends, thanks for the good wishes, I'm not hopeful about tomorrow and have had a look at the local auctions, there are other listed buildings on there. I think my problem is that the people coming don't have the money for the renovations, only the purchase. I'm so disappointed about last week's developer but she obviously couldn't see enough profit in it - which makes me think my auction price will have to be very low

Dropped my daughter off and took the dog to the beach, came home to clean ... Henry smells revolting! Not sure what I've hoovered up but bag was stained with some sort of revolting smelly liquid, can still smell it even though I've taken the bag out. Off to buy some of the 'linen' smelling concentrate stuff, and a battery for the smoke alarm that decided to run out in the night!

Gardener coming for the last time, grass hasn't grown for weeks but he's going to help me empty some pots for my neighbour.

Have a good day all!

Hello Everyone,

Thank you Whiff and Mosiacwarts for thinking of me.

I went into hospital for my hip replacement just over a week ago, fully expecting to be home after a few nights. However, best laid plans etc and I passed out the day after surgery. I came to to find about 20 doctors, nurses, students, physios and others in the room. Tests showed I had developed clots in my lungs so was put onto blood thinning injections. As nausea set in I could not face food and what I ate came back up with the exception of one meal. Further scans showed no further clots so hopefully I'm on the way to that problem being resolved but will need blood thinning medication for 6 months. Eventually I was discharged yesterday. Managing OK at home but struggling to get comfortable. The hip surgery is good though and I don't have a lot of pain.

As to the sale of our property, Saturday is the auction and while there have been some offers already none are anywhere near the price we are prepared to sell for. Interestingly the person who mucked us about previously for us to withdraw our acceptance has put in another offer, significantly lower than he offered last time.

I hope things are positive for all those selling and buying.