Neighbours making life hellish.

You are being targeted and harassed. By keeping a log of all the events, photographic evidence too eg snaps of the faces staring in the window etc. you will need to go to a solicitor and back to the police to have any action taken against them. Easy to say but be strong, be brave, don't let them win.

You could prevent them seeing anything when they stand staring through your windows by either putting up net curtains or the adhesive plastic that you can see out through, but blocks the view for anyone outside.

I admit it sounds a little extreme, but it might help your peace of mind knowing that these people cannot see anything.

The fact that they have found out your other address and send letters you have to sign for, might just constitute stalking or harassment, so run that past your solicitor.

The town council must have some guidelines regarding what kind of fences you may put up. If you stick to them, you can just ignore remarks from neighbours about the fences not looking nice.

In your place I would mention to tradesmen when you employ them, that these neighbours are nosy and will be along interrupting their work and fishing for information. Ask them to refrain from giving any information about the work they are currently doing for you.

I would ignore them as much as possible and try to get to know some of the nicer neighbours. Then perhaps it will be easier to laugh about these very odd people. It is not worth allowing other peoples' strange behaviour to affect your sleep and why should you sell a house you like and have spent money on because of them?

I know it can be very difficult to ignore this sort of thing, but it is the best thing to do.

Devils Dumplings what a nightmare situation. Your neighbours sound nasty and totally bonkers. You sound nice and have tried to be good neighbours only for it to be seen as a sign of weakness. My first reaction was 'theres something more going on here' by which I mean jealousy or a very real attempt to drive down the value of your property for the benefit of themselves or a relative. Yes, the previous vendors should have declared the problem it's a legal requirement. However, should have doesn't always happen as we know to our cost. Our vendors failed to declare the arson attempt, windscreen breaking, missile throwing!!! In fact in answer to my direct question about the nearby small park they declared never a hint of bother!! It was a neighbour who told us the details 2 years after we moved in. We had to get our local pcso involved and he was great as he had local knowledge and I can now sleep at night, we didn't want an expensive legal battle. But it did get me down very badly. I don't think any more reasoning from yourselves will help. You must feel stuck & cheated. Are there any locals e.g. local newsagents,grocers etc who can throw any light on their behaviour, are they known to police for anti social behaviour, can you check back issues of local paper. Are they dead set against 'incomers'. I agree with others that recommend telling your tradesmen that they're " plain bonkers & well known for it in these parts". Keep making the records, time, date, duration, who etc, whether you spoke & what was said. Try and get recordings of photo evidence, if it's photo make sure your date/time function is on. Get advice, assertive and Wiley, sooner or later they will do something that requires a little knock & some plain speaking from the boys in blue. It's like a game to them - bide your time but gather info & evidence but don't let this ruin your lives. It's feeling so impotent that wears you out. Wishing you all very best.

1) Don't return like for like.
2) Keep a careful factual note of each & every incident.
3) Make it clear to the police that what you are suffering contravenes the Harassment Act 1997.
4) Hope that the constable that visits has had first hand experience of what you are suffering.
Ours had - single visit - no more trouble. Best of luck!

Although I can understand why people have suggested you sell up, I would hate to let those awful neighbours win by driving me out of my property.

This is particularly true if you had to sell below market value, although if you went down the auction route, you may be lucky and get a good price.

I don't know where your second home is, but there are some areas in the country notorious for being hostile to people with holiday/second homes aren't there?

Wales of course springs to mind.

I'd go back to both the local authority & police and look at getting an ASBO against them - It's wholly unreasonable behaviour and you should not be driven from your home - I also agree with Bugebabe2019 - this is letting them win and reducing the price of your home! Your Solicitor could also apply for a restraining order. I also agree telling your visitors they have mental health issues and to ignore them is a really good idea - Good luck - these people should not be allowed to get away with this

If you decide to sell, the suggestion to sell through auction is a good one. Set the reserve price that recoups your costs or at something you can live with & hope that the new buyer has a better experience - at best a developer who is focused on a quick turn around& will not tolerate any nonsense neighbours.

Renting out for income is an idea, & I suggest that you look into letting the property to the local authority - this would provide you with a fair return on the property for a set term, & the LA would manage the tenancies. This would allow you to bide your time until your neighbours change their behaviours- but don’t hold your breath - & not suffer financial loss.

I had similar trouble....we solved it by getting our solicitor to send them a letter threatening court action - but this won't work in every case and could prove very expensive if you ended up actually taking them to court. My advice - cut your losses , sell up and the stress will be gone.

Loads of good advice above. So sorry for the situation you find yourself in.

Things I would do?

I would try and get a number of family or other visitors to pop in and out very regularly or come and stay, especially any male relatives.

I would try and have assertive confident body language, shoulders back, head high, smile and look happy (even when I feel totally the opposite)

I would join some local organisations/ WI/ coffee mornings, clubs, activities where you have a common interest with other locals, anything going on in the village and get some new friends on my side.....and quietly listen, you may be able to glean information.

I would regularly invite different people back for coffee and a chat - to be seen, to have a presence, that it’s not just you and your partner living there. Take up your space, don’t appear apologetic, that sort of thing.

Give the impression of “busy”

If there is a PCSO can you quietly befriend them, get them to pop in for chats....that’s another “presence”...and also your nasty neighbours won’t know why the police are actually calling....

I travel a fair bit and have observed other nationalities and how they deal with grating behaviours and things (which I am now learning from and copying!)...for example if people are being passive-aggressive/loud/intimidating/overbearing in someone else’s space - I saw the best reactions were from people who carried on looking happy, reading their newspapers, having their own conversations and just pretending they weren’t there, not acknowledging them in any way. The intimidating people want a reaction, so they get frustrated when there is none ?

Hope things improve for you

If you can afford it, sell and go, even at a loss. Your health, mental and physical, is precious.

Don’t let out to tenants unless you are absolutely sure you can cope with the possible problems of tenants - I let my flat when I got married, and had one lovely tenant for several years and then tenants who didn’t pay rent, damaged furniture, threw away fitted carpet, had very frequent and noisy parties etc, etc. It was all hugely frustrating and expensive.

Good luck in whatever happens. ?

It is not your main home though so I doubt you will find much support locally if you are living in one of the places that is now flooded with holiday homes and pushing up prices so that locals can no longer afford to live there. Buying or renting.

However you say that the neighbours causing trouble are also having them as a second home and seem to be driving down prices so that their own family can buy them cheaper.

Things will not improve if this is the case because they are quite ruthless and also there are more of them!

You should move as soon as possible.

Probably the most sensible thing to do is to cut your losses & sell up, however disappointing this may be.

But that said, if you have the nerve for it... @GrannyAnnie2010 Animal House suggestion does appeal to me although it does run the risk of a rowdy house & even more intractable neighbours.

I love GrannieAnnie's answer. Maybe it would work with this horrible neighbour. Needs to be considered alongside the other neighbours though. People can be so awful.

GrannyAnny
My exact thoughts when I read the OP. ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorry to hear about your problems. I think the time has passed for solutions, they will not change and will carry on making your life a misery. As advised previously, I would aim to sell the property and move on with your life- hopefully a quieter one -. Sometimes, it is better to go quietly. Best wishes

This is harassment and by law an offence so make an appointment with a solicitor and other than by mouth, and you want to stop this harassment once and for all, provide evidence. Obtaining as much of this evidence as possible in statements from those who you learn been approached by your neighbours..Photographs too where possible.

What a predicament. My guess would be that all these neighbours are related. Enough said about their mentality. My advice would be to get out as soon as possible for your sanity.

So sorry to hear of this intolerable situation. We’ve had experience of unpleasant, unreasonable neighbours but not to the extent you describe - like others, I always find it hard to believe people can behave in this way. Sorry to say, I think all you can do is sell up (probably losing out financially in the process), but peace of mind is a priceless commodity. Also, I think you should be glad that this is not your main household and that you do have an immediate escape - I suspect that the fact you have a second home is at the root of all this uncivilised behaviour. Move out & move on!

I like GrannyAnnie's idea and would also ask the "students" to keep suggesting they are buying the place too unless the neighbour's harrassment stops.

To add you need to work out what behaviour of yours depletes them, sometimes by staring this is getting a reaction so you can’t win they want reactions, then not doing anything makes you feel bullied. It’s hard x

Couldn't you let one of your properties to a homeless person and get your similarly positioned neighbours to do likewise?

Hi,

I have exactly the same experience of this and wish I could help you, it’s hard over the keyboard. The behaviour is classic bullying behaviour to get you out of that house it’s whether you can stomach it or not, if not having had this for ten years I would move, don’t waste your life on these people. If you stomach it as we have, we have stayed. You have obviously been seen to be considerate and decent people by the neighbours and unfortunately they use this with the behaviour they are using to upset you and drain your spirit. They are generally miserable people remember this. Live your life happily, go about your business, don’t look at them. Use voile or as we have done blurred windows with new glazing like on a bathroom. Do jobs outside don’t wait for them to do them show you are entitled to do these things on your property too. Put a camera up as we did. Our neighbour was an alcoholic and we caught her drunk falling over a lot of the time. Remember it is not your fault and chat to friends who will listen. The horrid woman here left him next door but he remains he’s a horrid man too, don’t let them waste your head space as life is too short. Keep a diary of everything, I got wrinkle cream adverts through the post, masturbation toy leaflets, cards but I remember the biggest killer for them was been happy in myself. Xxx

Er - what does "goudy" mean? (Londoner here)

Agree with Esmeralda and GrannyAnnie put it in the hands of agents for rent or perhaps the local council who always need property for families in need. That way you will get a nice income which will allow you to rent nice holiday homes in lovely areas and you might eventually find somewhere to buy your second home. Good luck.