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House and home

Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

(997 Posts)
craftyone Mon 30-Dec-19 14:38:59

Links to the first and second threads

www.gransnet.com/forums/house_and_home/1266771-Help-calm-me-house-buying-and-selling-stress-part-2

thread number 3

Franbern Fri 13-Mar-20 19:01:33

So sorry Ellianne about your son and wife offer on house being rejected. They are so right not to enter into a bidding war. Hopefully, something as good and cheaper will come up soon. Think you said they are hoping to move near to where you live now. Have they sold their present house?
I am very glad that none of my family are now, or likely to be the foreseeable future involved in this nightmare of house selling/buying. Although I am well over the stress form that, the scars are very close to the surface still.
Just been told that the nursing home my ex is now in has been 'locked down' -no visitors permitted. My daughter here is going up to London tomorrow, mainly to give some personal support to her sister there, she was going to pop in to the nursing home to see her father on the way, now she will not be able to do so - do not think she is overly upset - she is still going to her sisters.
My U3A monthly 'talk' went ahead this afternoon, well attended also. They had a bottle of hand gel on the desk where we sign in!!!!

Whiff Fri 13-Mar-20 18:00:59

Ellianne that's awful. There are a lot of greedy people about. My niece and boyfriend got gazumped on the house they were after last year. Had their offer accepted the other week on a 4 bed semi hopefully all goes well this time.

Franbern ment to say glad your scan was clear. Hopefully you get the physio referral soon.

Ellianne Fri 13-Mar-20 17:36:39

Back to property talk, on Monday our son and wife put in an over the asking price offer on a house that had an open viewing last Saturday. The agent finally got back to them today to say the vendors had now had a higher offer. Seems strange it took nearly a week for this to filter through. I'm sure the agent used our son's offer to boost the offer from the other people and then expected our son to join in the bidding war. Thankfully he pulled out not wanting the hassle. Lesson learnt, if an offer above the price is made say you want an immediate answer or at least within 24 hours.

craftyone Fri 13-Mar-20 17:26:02

shandy, you might end up sailing close to the wind later when you have bought. I suggest that you keep that money to one side for a couple of years and if you still feel that you want to donate it, it is your choice. I feel that you are rushing into it, money just drains away in the first year

My car steering wheel? good to give it a disinfectant wipe after it was turned by the tyre fitter.

Tooth done and much more comfortable and I whizzed around putting some garden stuff away. I have to make a tip trip tomorrow and do some more squashing away, probably into an outdoor storage box

Shandy and anyone else, please don`t worry about younger people getting bad symptoms. They are very likely to only have mild symptoms, it is science again, my past profession btw. Anyone interested could look up T cells and the thymus. It all starts at 50+.

It is good news about the scan Franbern

I understand about the social isolation btw. Luckily I am always able to find interesting things to do at home and I have 5 remaining siblings, in daily contact with 3 and sometimes 5

Whiff Fri 13-Mar-20 16:46:54

Shandy57 sorry the viewers didn't turn. But like Oopsyadaisy3 said it's clean ready for next time. Don't mean to be rude but why are you giving your adult children the money from the Halifax account when you quite clearly need it yourself. You have to start putting yourself first. It's not easy but you have done your job bringing them up . They are independent and earning their own money. They should not accept hand outs from you.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 13-Mar-20 16:10:14

Shandy so sorry that they didn’t show, on the plus side, it’s all clean for the next viewing.

People can be such a pain!

Shandy57 Fri 13-Mar-20 15:02:02

Afternoon all, just to say I spent two hours cleaning at the station for my 12.30 pm viewing. I've finally mastered the Shark and was able to vacuum far faster than usual, was great not having Henry peeping at me stuck on doorframes.

I took extra care to dettol wipe all the door handles etc.

I left at 12, took my dog to the beach, then went to a cafe waiting for the call to say they'd gone - I got a text at 1.10 pm saying they were a no show. I find it incredibly rude, both my morning and that of the viewing agent has been spent on these bad mannered time wasters. I suppose it is Friday 13th!

My bad mood was lifted by a letter from the Halifax with the closing amount of my late husband's account. I am curious as to why he hasn't received any correspondence about it for four years, very lucky I hadn't sold, and did receive the letter. It was just a tiny paying in book, and was missed at probate, not my solicitor's fault. It's not much but enough to share between the kids to help them out a bit without touching my savings, which I am now clinging on to because of my 'double' bill situation. Paid in the cheque at the PO and takes five days to clear.

I've just realised why I hadn't watched Last Tango in Halifax before, it's because of the Mum's behaviour. I think I'd caught one of the programmes where she was behaving similarly to my late MIL - which happened again last night. Have gone off it a bit! My late MIL was very outspoken about her dislike of southerners - and my husband had married two of them!

Enjoy your afternoon all smile

Grammaretto Fri 13-Mar-20 12:39:20

Hello everyone. I am here when I should be away this weekend but the event was cancelled so here I am a grumpy so and so.
The French girl has been recalled, by her family so will be leaving at 3am tomorrow. One of us will drive her to the airport. That was short and sweet.
In a way I am relieved as it is just another thing to find suitable jobs she can do, whilst thinking about my own family and what they have been going through.
I went to yoga today which wasn't cancelled and we were told how to make sanitising hand gel. Surgical spirit and aloe vera gel. (I think I heard right)

It's MiL's 95th birthday today. I had flowers sent but I may make her a cake and pop round to see her. She was "too busy" to be taken out for tea!

I hope that the auction isn't cancelled, Shandy. I'm sure the auction house people will be keen as anyone to see it going ahead.

Franbern Fri 13-Mar-20 12:01:28

Lots of fake news about this virus....why on earth do people want to believe if was a deliberate action by humans?
I can believe (jokingly) that nature is getting its own back on us - since this virus has done more towards helping to push back so many factors on global warming. It is the real silver lining at this troublesome time.
Not quite sure, Craftyone, why you would be disinfecting your own car - is it likely it has been in touch with someone with this virus? Think we all need to be rather careful of over-reacting. I have never used any form of antibac cleaners in my home, quite deliberately - I really do think they are very damaging to building up good immune systems.
Yes, many of us will contract this virus - the overwhelming majority will come out the other side. I did say on a thread, (only partially joking) that I would actually prefer to catch it sooner rather than later, whilst there are still only definite cases in the hundreds and NHS could cope if my COPD, etc caused me to have serious symptons.
Having had a good night sleep, feel much better - my normal 'glass half full' person has come back.
I have managed to get a new curtain rail up and the curtains back up - much more difficult than I remember doing this sort of thing in the past - but pleased I managed it myself.
Shandy - thanks for asking anout the CT scan - it was, as I expected - quite clear. When my GP phoned me about this I told her I was expecting it to be clear as a CT scan would not show up what I believe is a neurological problem. She agreed, but stated she wanted this just to rule out anything much worse. She is reluctant to give me anti-inflammatories as they do have some other nasty side-effect - particularly along with other meds I am on - I agree with her on this (at the moment). She is arranging for me to have physio on my neck.
So many things being cancelled - this is what is getting me down more than anything. My U3A monthly meeting is still going ahead this afternoon - thank goodness - no known cases in North Somerset at present. Have also had it confirmed that the gym competition the weekend after next will go ahead and I will be officiating there.
I must say that I much more scared of the social isolation that seems to be the way things are going, than of actually getting this virus.

craftyone Fri 13-Mar-20 11:45:59

I got the time incorrect for leaving, have stuffed some lunch down my face and looked at my diary, very glad I wrote the leaving time yesterday. I have a spare 40 minutes left, no time to fix the bombsite

So how am I boosting my 72 year old self? Increasing my intake of coloured veg from 5-7 to 12 and I can do that by juicing enough for 2 days. Not the whole veg fibres btw, proper juice with minimal fibre, I already get enough fibre. Emphasis very much on brassicas.

Oopsadaisy its important for that `news` to be removed. There is real complicated science behind the process, media and internet gossip will only add to the already bad media scaremongering and the stress will also affect the angiotensin system in individuals and make people even more vulnerable. We have super good scientists in the uk and a super good nhs.

Oopsadaisy3 Fri 13-Mar-20 11:25:37

Craftyone I read a few weeks ago that the virus was man made, very close to where the virus first started in China, coincidentally where the Dr who first ‘discovered’ the virus died ( if memory serves me correctly he was ridiculed) .
I also read that the Chinese Government were telling foreign governments not to spread this ‘fake’ news or there would be repercussions.
I think though that most of these items on the Internet that I read have now been removed.

craftyone Fri 13-Mar-20 11:20:04

Ellianne the virus did not come from nowhere. It is a genetically altered sars virus, modified to become very easily transmitted and to affect, in particular the over 50s and compromised. A very very wicked thing, accidental release or deliberate, who knows. It uses the angiotensin body cycle and targets the lungs and kideys. Its very complicatedbut also simple but I am not saying any more.

Be safe, stay safe while the world scientists are doing their very best to find a blocker for this virus and while the nhs gets its act together with more icu beds, moving bed blockers on to maybe hotels and getting far more equipment like ventilators. Really everyone, we are on our own for now

craftyone Fri 13-Mar-20 11:10:31

My ds was put to working at home a few days ago, big banking co in scotland. They deemed that he and some others were at high risk. Today they told anyone who could work at home to do so

Visit to dentist yesterday was good, very sterile place but no-one is immune and in that case the practise would be closed. I have to have a filling replaced and am going this afternoon, dd (my dentist 1 hour away) is very pleased that I am being so careful. Even got diluted zoflora in a ziplock bag to wipe steering wheel and using sleeves to open doors

My preps involve ordering everything I could possbly need for my garden hobby and I arranged for all my plugs to come end of next week instead of end april. I realised that I don`t have good hardening/growing space so have ordered a proper mini wall glass greenhouse today.

The auction is soon enough not to be cancelled shandy, chairs will be placed apart

The house looks like a bombsite but spring cleaning may well take place in great depth through stay-at-home boredom later. Leaving shortly and am leaving a note on the door for parcels to be left in the porch. Deliveries later in time may well be more tricky

Shandy57 Fri 13-Mar-20 09:16:12

Morning all, I'm just off to clean the station before the viewing. I'm taking a soap and kitchen towel up to the house for the viewing agent. Both my hairdressers and the rental agency have just issued a statement on facebook saying that they are taking precautions against the virus.

I am depressed about it too Franbern, so sorry for all of the people who have unexpectedly lost loved ones. I am worried about my children. My investments have plumetted and I am really concerned the auction will be cancelled. I will be the same age as my late husband in April, my life does seem to be going from bad to worse. He would have been in danger as he had COPD, we would have had to self isolate.

Franbern, I've been waiting for you to mention your scan results, have you had them yet? Has the pain gone?

Whiff I hope that test isn't painful, you are such a brave woman, the doctor's must find you a delight.

Right, off I go, I really don't feel like it but must make the effort.

Take care everyone xx

Whiff Fri 13-Mar-20 08:18:46

I have a Sainsbury's delivery every 6 weeks and stock up on heavy and bulky shopping as I don't drive. Due for a delivery today. Just heard no loo rolls. Good job I have some left from last time. Look when I am out on Monday for some.

Whiff Fri 13-Mar-20 07:14:47

One of my grandsons has a cold. My daughter told me yesterday that she kept on taking his temperature as he was very hot then thought she had better take hers. Then realised hers was higher than his. She said she felt a fool and didn't want to be a panicky mother but found out she is. Like I said better to be safe than sorry. All my grandsons mix with a lot of other children and adults every week. This virus is making some people panic also some people will use it as an excuse not to do things they don't want to do. I am in the camp that if I do get it hopefully I will get over it. But I am not going to worry about it. I've always washed my hands a lot. But other than trying not to touch my face when I am out I am carrying on as normal. No bulk buying. My parents always instilled into me the importance of a good stock cupboard and wise use of the freezer.

Had the appointment for my bubble echo it's in 2 weeks. Read up about the test as I have never had one before. Sounds weird but I love new experiences even medical ones. Learning new things is exciting. Love the fact I am not to old to learn new things. Keeps my brain active even when my body won't let me do what I want.

With this virus it's wise to take precautions but for our own peace of mind don't panic. As others have said mental health is as important as physical health.

Ellianne Thu 12-Mar-20 22:04:33

There are so many ramifications of this virus, I can well understand how people are getting anxious and depressed. I think this is the first time I have become really worried about a disaster. If it were an earthquake, forest fires or a tsunami I could view it as an act of nature, if it were a war or even a terrorist attack I could view it as man's evil behaviour, but this virus came from nothing and collectively all the world powers cannot stop its enormity.
Ironically this time last year all I had to worry about was whether Brexit would scupper our house sale and I guess that's how I came to thinking about the property market 12 months on in the light of this virus. As Franbern says it goes way beyond just our own small worries. Life is precious.

Franbern Thu 12-Mar-20 20:40:48

Obviously there is going to be an effect on all financial matters - what is already occuring with the fall in the markets, etc. throughout the world. How it will effect the housing market is not clear, the drop in interest rates may help with freeing up more mortgage money for purchasers, but then people may just wish to 'sit this out'.
I watched the press conference held this evening by the PM and his health advisers, it was honest and not OTT.
I found it rather depressing, the first time I have had this feeling about this virus. I am not worried about catching it - despite my age and medical conditions - If I do, I do, and hopefully, I will be able to recover - but we all have to die sometime of something.
What really go to me was the time span - not likely to peak for another ten - fourteen weeks, at least No point in anyone who does not have any symptoms trying to isolate themselves from it - unless they think they are willing to stay in that isolation for the next several months!!
What upsets me about this long time span is the cancellation of so many social events, etc. I am far more concerned for my own mental health in these circumstances than I am of any virus.
How will small business's survive? - many will not, how will people on zero hours contracts manage to pay rent, buy food, etc.? what about those reliant on food banks etc to survive? Think the eventual death rate from so many of the poorer and less fortunate members of society is far going to exceed anything that the virus kills directly.
Must say, I have been quite deprhessed with this - feel so helpless and out of control. There is just no precedent for this.
One of my twin daughters telephoned me just to check how I was, and I told her how I was feeling and was so grateful for the chat which did help. Within ten minutes of putting the phone down on her, her twin telephoned me - she had been tipped off I was feeling a little low. Thanks to these two phone calls, I do feel much better now - but it is going to be a very strange Springtime this year.

Shandy57 Thu 12-Mar-20 20:31:04

I am hoping the auction isn't cancelled as it is a big room full of people?

I was surprised tonight to get an email from my oil company asking me to check I had enough oil as they might experience problems if their drivers become ill. So glad I'm a worry pot and always over order - I've got lots at the station and the cottage.

A few people on the facebook widow page I'm part of are worried they are going to have to look after their grandchildren if their adult children have to work from home.

I found Boris's words chilling "be prepared to lose loved ones before their time". My IFA has written tonight about the effect on the markets - I don't care about money, I just want the people I care about to live through this.

I hope people start to pull together and pool both their time and resources if push comes to shove.

Ellianne Thu 12-Mar-20 19:15:29

I hadn't thought of builders craftyone. I did think the international market might be hit as buyers can't fly around the world. But then a lot of those people probably buy off plan or view the properties virtually.

craftyone Thu 12-Mar-20 19:03:16

I don`t believe it will affect the market at all, most people don`t have the virus and the poorly ones tend to be older. It might affect builders a bit, if staff are ill so maybe new build building will slow but that would mean fewer houses on the market for a while.

Ellianne Thu 12-Mar-20 18:58:36

Dare I ask an irritating question?
How will this Coronavirus problem affect the property market, if at all?

Shandy57 Thu 12-Mar-20 18:49:04

Hi Craftyone, I couldn't bear to be there, I think my son might go. I am Lot 17, so it's at the beginning of the evening.

I've another viewing tomorrow, and two on the 21st. The 21st seems so late, they definitely won't be able to get a survey, perhaps taking a builder with them. Just charging the shark to take up tomorrow for a quick dash around, put candle/lights on, unlock the gates and quick polish. My kids have no idea!

I've just had a letter about my tv license, and have now transferred it to the cottage. I think I've already said I'm buying a tv when my daughter comes on Mother's Day. I can't change it into my name without writing in, hopefully still have some stamps somewhere.

I hadn't realised how much 'admin' you movers had to deal with, it's good practise for me!

craftyone Thu 12-Mar-20 17:46:51

yes, I agree it does feel an endless time to the auction. Will you be there shandy or do you get the result afterwards?

Shandy57 Thu 12-Mar-20 09:02:34

Morning all, sunny and a very cold wind here today.

Thanks so much for your advice about the bench, I checked the completed listings and £200 seems to have been the general price they've sold at in similar condition, so I've made a small profit for once and have accepted his offer. Lots of people have looked and are watching but haven't bid, I'm going to buy a washing machine with the money. He's having to drive up from Yorkshire so has to pay a lot of petrol. No bids on my heavy bedroom furniture yet, 3 days to go.

Still feeling wobbly today but it is just a normal cold, just feel fuzzy headed. In the past I used to lose my hearing with colds, I'm glad that hasn't happened this time.

I am finding the wait for the auction difficult to cope with. I had a look at the house auction site yesterday and some lucky people have already received bids before the auction. As no-one has requested a survey I just have to be patient and wait and see what happens, the agent did say properties don't always sell in the first auction. Tuesday's viewing agent said she was glad to have the opportunity of seeing my 'beautiful' house, hopefully some of the viewers liked it too.

Have a good day whatever you are doing smile