Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

It's very early days SueH49. I hope your husband recovers well.
Enjoy watching The Crown.

Hi Whiff, he is in immense pain. He is on a cocktail of pain killers but said he could not believe the pain he is in. Fortunately the drugs allow him to sleep most of the day. He is also having trouble breathing because of the pain and the nurses want him to move so as to prevent pneumonia. It is early days and I'm sure things will settle soon. His body has been put through a huge amount of trauma

I'm OK but dealing with what seems a large catalogue of household issues, some unexpected and not appreciated. Our move date is looming and the buyer will not commit to having us staying past that time. Mind you in the next breath he wants access to the property to do soil tests and other things so he can get on with the job. I think I'm going to be perverse and tell the agent that we will not allow access until we move. We will find a rental in the meantime.

Upside of husband being in hospital is that I get control of the TV. I'm binge watching The Crown.

SueH49 how is your husband? Hope
he isn't in to much pain. Are you ok?

Oh no!!!!! Devastating news, Shandy. So very, very upset for you. So hard making these decisions on your own. I echo all out friends advice re the auction. This house needs to go....and soon

Dear Shandy57 - I'm so sorry to read of the latest developments. I understand that you know lots of these posters well from way back and trust them. I don't post often, but do follow this thread and have much sympathy and empathy for you in your current situation. I can only say that please take these posters kind advice. You won't gain anything from another four months delay - you could be in the same position at the end of it, and then looking at another six months rental and all the accompanying costs. Sadly these days people are very hard headed and will be looking at this from a ££££ point of view - I do agree with the others that your best course of action is to go to auction with a sensible reserve price. You can then begin to move on with your life and escape this stress. It's too much for one person to deal with. Thinking of you today, Shandy, it's a beautiful day here - hope you can take your dog for a walk along the beach as a bit of distraction for a while. I also think you should share this with your daughter - she's an adult and needs to know what her Mum is going through. I know we like to be strong for our kids, but sometimes it needs to work both ways.

I tend to agree with the others Shandy about getting it sold quickly now and to stop the agony.
I have been reading about a couple who owned Torosay Castle on Mull and sold it 8 years ago for £1.6 million to a Swiss Millionaire and were glad to be shot of it, the upkeep etc. You could sense their relief in the report. The price in a way is ridiculously cheap but if you consider the upkeep, they would need a large staff to maintain it.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/torosay-castle-sold-after-147-years-with-one-family-sw6vfqldf62

I guess a house is only worth what someone is prepared to pay for it though in the case of historic houses I feel there should be some assistance from funding bodies to keep them wind and rain proof.

I put a wardrobe for sale on gumtree yesterday. One collector replied but he wants a matching chest of drawers.
You have a knack of finding buyers for things, I hope when you are settled in your permanent home, you can share some tips with us.

So desperately sorry for you Shandy, you must be feeling totally devastated. You do need to show that email to your children, so they can start to realise how difficult it is for you. Can only agree with what everyone else is saying - you should go to auction as quickly as possible.
As has been said previously, cash buyers do not necessarily have cash in hand, they are often people who have no mortgage on their existing property, but need to sell that before they have the 'cash' to purchase something else. So, most of us on here have been cash buyers in our last transactions.
Think that you are talking about that four months just as a way of delaying the inevitable. Leaving your house empty over that time will not do you any favours and could end up costing you quite a lot of money. What can you lose by going asap to auction (with a reserve price)? The sooner you are rid of that property the better for you mentally, and will also mean you can use most of the next six months concentrating on deciding where and what you wish to finally make a move to. (sorry for split infinitive).
Hope your move later this week goes well, and do keep us all informed, we have travelled this road with you and our thoughts are very much with you.

Shandy57 hope you are feeling better in yourself. Please take our advice. I know it's easy of us to talk. I don't think I 'm the only one who if it was possible would be there with you giving you a hand, tea ,cakes , and hugs. Like Craftyone has said you have evidence in writing not to pay your estate agent exit fee. If you are unsure could you talk to your solicitor friend. I know you are gearing up for your move on Friday. But it's big girl pants time. Get your house into the auction. You know what your husband would advise deep down. He would want you to be happy and settled somewhere safe not having to worry about oil and windows etc.
Put yourself first. What do you want out of life. It's your time now. Time for a new you and new life. It's not easy to do but I and many on here are living proof it possible to do. Selling your house will set you free to fly. So spread your wings.

Don`t wait 4 months shandy, get into auction and get it done, think ahead to summer when you can house hunt with an easy mind, knowing that you have become a cash buyer. A house can deteriorate badly in 4 months.

You have all the evidence you need to not pay the EA any money after withdrawing. That buyer is a liar and the EA is working with him and against you. We all know that but us ranting and feeling every step with you will not help, sign up for auction, you must get this done and be settled in a new home by next autumn. I agree about the foreign buyer potential, someone with megamoney from russia or china. They won`t even examine closely but would want a trophy home or even boutique hotel

Shandy57 if that buyer only had 60k cash why the hell was he looking at a house in your price range. From what you have been saying on here you need to sell. If you wait another 4 months how many thousands will you be wasting. Auction is your best route. At least you will sell and it has to be completed within a limited time frame. Head over heart time.

It sounds like it is time to walk away from estate agents and cash buyers. I would pursue the auction route Shandy and avoid any more stress.

I agree with you Jane 10. Searching for a cash buyer is all well and good but there is still the chance that you will be let down again between offer and exchange. In my experience, genuine cash buyers will drive a very hard bargain indeed. They often make ridiculously low offers on several properties at the same time in the hope that one will be accepted. At least at auction once the hammer comes down you are sure of your sale.

Your house does sound like it's of public interest. Could be worth checking out grants as Grammaretto suggests?
Do you really want to risk the house deteriorating further for another 4 months? If you're not actually living in it, heating it etc it could be a risk, especially as the coldest months are yet to come.You could be prolonging the agony by hanging on. I don't want to sound mean. It just might be worth going to auction with a sensible reserve.

I have never heard of a Building Society/Bank giving such a detailed list of necessary improvements with costings or advising the buyer to withdraw. This buyer has never had the money necessary to buy your house and he is trying it on again. Disgusting behaviour.

I meant to add my thanks Grammaretto for the info about the grants - unfortunately up here grants are only available if the building is of public interest. I would have liked it to be the village museum, but haven't got the energy now

Thank you for replying everyone. I haven't told my kids.

I was told he had £60K in cash. Looking at this, he is asking for the full £335K, ie 100% mortgage.

I was so upset I rang my long suffering friend. The EA said the email was sent to her so we could see what the lender said, but my friend suspects it could have been adjusted by the buyer in his favour to scare me.

I wrote back to the EA and said I wanted to end my contract with them as I felt my only option now was to go to auction.

I've thought about it, and instead I think I'll register with the agent that enters houses into the auction, we originally bought from them in 1999. I'll give them the next four months to try to find a cash buyer. If they don't manage to find me a buyer then I will go to auction.

My good news is that I've found the instructions to build the beds, I've been worried about them dismantling the brass one.

Shandy - I'm sorry you've had such bad news. In the past mortgages were offered with a retainer so the buyer did essential work before the full mortgage is granted; I guess this doesn't happen now. I know it is common, as happened to me, that a buyer wants the vendor to do work before proceeding but this is a huge amount. Surely they would lend the smaller amount if there is a buyer with the cash for the rest?
If this is correct then it will be difficult for anyone to get a mortgage on your house so auction seems to be the way to go. Good luck.

Shandy57 sorry you had that email. Forget about. Tell him !!!! himself and the same to your estate agent. They haven't worked in your best interest. Go and sell at auction. People who go to auctions know that work has to be done to old properties. Yours is a unique house. Which is a big selling point. Also it is the sort of place overseas buyers picture English country houses to be.

Please don't get upset just get very angry about the way you have been treated. He and your estate agent have wasted your time and money. I found anger a far better emotion to have when people messed me about when I was selling my house. Anger motivated me to get things done.

Tomorrow is a new day. You are coping brilliantly. Be proud of all you have done on your own. Sending you a hug.

I am so sorry shandy, your buyer is still up to his filthy tricks. Was this e mail from the buyer? I very much suspect that the EA is in cahoots with the buyer and both are trying to weaken you so that you don`t go to auction. You should not trust either of them, carry on as though you are going to auction, it cannot be worse and could well be considerably better.

That is just awful Shandy.
I cannot believe it has come to this.
Surely this "buyer" could see the condition of the house when he made his offer?
He is wearing you down and you should be shot of him. PDQ
Have you considered applying for a grant towards the restoration from the Heritage Lottery Fund?
Even by applying it could come to the notice of decision makers who want to see buildings like yours preserved.
They are a National asset.
There's to be a claims workshop in Hexham on Feb 5th at 1.30pm
www.heritagefund.org.uk/in-your-area/north

Hello friends, well I've just had a very lengthy email detailing the information the buyer was given from his mortgage lender about the survey/damp survey on the house. The damp report appears to have been a complete waste of my £300 as they are dismissing the recommendations made.

They have advised the buyer to withdraw from the sale.

They would grant him the mortgage if I pay and carry out the following repairs -

Roof repairs, comprising of:
Repair or renew of defective roof timbers (£5,000).
Withdrawal and replacement of roof coverings (£16,500)
Chimney repairs (£3,000)
Total: £24,500.

Floor repairs:
Repair or renew floor timbers (£15,000)

Damp proofing of the ground floor:
Install an effective damp proof course or tank as necessary (£10,000)

Alternatively they'll lend him the money if I deduct this £49,500 from his offer price of £335K ie £285K.

To add insult to injury, I've just had the invoice for moving to the rental cottage.

I'm feeling very upset.

Grammaretto sorry you have had another fall. Unfortunately as we get older we don't bounce back as quickly as we used to from things.

Had a text my cardiologist appointment for April has been brought forward to next week. Had some tests done and with the echocardiogram I'm having this week at least they will have all the results. I'm not going to worry about it as I would rather know sooner than later if something is wrong. Had to go to drs this morning got it a UTI so on antibiotics. Been feeling achy and tired the last couple of days but just thought I had a cold coming.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Such a relief SueH49.
I remember when my DH had a serious op and was in recovery ICU. the surgeons came in beaming to say it was successful, that he hadn't needed a transfusion and at that point I fainted and they had to pull me up from the floor. It was embarrassing but it must have been the relief and shock somehow knowing he had pulled through after 7 hours in surgery.
You really must look after yourself as well with all the stress. How long will he be in hospital? Do you know?

Take care.

Franbern I would be worried about those head pains too. I hope it turns out to be trivial. Best to get things checked out sooner rather than later.

I don't know about any fates working for me. I was looking in the cupboard near the back door for a hammer and nail to hang up my calendar, at last, when my friend who lets herself in, came in the door. I stepped backwards to get out of her way and fell over. This is the second time in 2 weeks I have tumbled. My head and my fingers hurt but I don't think anything is broken.

Shandy good luck to you this week too.
Craftyone you seem to be doing really well and so does Whiff

SueH49 great news. Here's to complete and stress free recovery for him. I know you have your move next month. Wish you both all the luck finding a new home or rental. Don't forget to look after yourself. You have a lot on your plate right now.

Fantastic news SueH49, you can breathe again. My husband had arrythmia and had his heart stopped and restarted three times, it was an agonising wait. I hope your husband was able to sleep with all the beeping and activity, and is able to eat the grapes you take him! xx