Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Shandy, if you go to auction do you have to accept a bid? Here we can refuse any bid received if we don't think it is enough. We set a reserve price for our pace and although it was not met we did decided the highest bid received was sufficient and accepted it. We could have passed the place in. In which case we would have had to start all over again.

We went to an auction last week the property was one we had looked at to buy but discarded it. I was absolutely shocked and disgusted at the tactics of the auctioneer. I accept, as he said, it is his job to get the best price possible for the vendor but IMO his tactics were outright bullying.
It makes me very wary of bidding at auction.

Something we have here and if you have them might be worth your while looking into Shandy is a Vendor Advocate. The advocate virtually deals with everything relating to the sale. They take all of the dealing away from you but always defer to you for any decisions. Typically they do not cost the vendor anything but take commission from the Estate Agent - a bit like travel agents booking flights etc.

On the other side are Buyers Advocates or Agents. I am going to look into hiring one of these to try and find a place for us to buy. A buyers agent does charge the purchaser but am told by people that have used one it is money well spent. I'll let you know more when I do about that.

That man will not tell you mosaics, he will be there at the auction but will keep his cards close to his chest. I do believe that you will get several buyers bidding against each other. You don`t really need to know about the buyer and his mortgage, he will be there and will continue to play you like a fish until then, he thinks that you will crack and he will get his `lower` offer accepted subject to him being the sole buyer and you withdrawing from auction. He will then have you wrapped up good and proper. Beware and continue as though he is not on the scene, he is not a force for good, very much the opposite and you need to keep your wits about you

Shandy57 please don't do as your daughter wants. I know you say she has problems. But she does not live with you anymore. You need to sell and start living the life you want and deserve. This buyer is a chancer and trying to wear you down so you will sell at any price. Your estate agent should be on his case and getting answers for you. Also your estate agent should be asking his solicitor what is going on. Enjoy your telly programmes back to packing tomorrow.

Got some living room curtains today plus voiles and tension poles for the voiles. Dunelm have a vast choice . There tea cakes are delicious.

I agree, he is possibly the most dreadful person the EA could have found, and his surveyor was dreadful too. He was here for a long time and had bought his lunch. I had said to use the bathroom at his leisure, but whilst drinking the one cup of tea he'd accepted in the kitchen he asked if he could 'go for a wee'. I had no interest in his bowel habits! Such inappropriate language. I'm furious about the 'leak' he told me about in the loft, it has costed me money I didn't have to spend.

Disappointed not to hear anything about the sale today although dreading it at the same time. I don't know if he is playing games or genuinely waiting to hear from his mortgage company.

I met my daughter for lunch in town today, something urgent had come in the post and I couldn't post it on. I was glad to have a break from packing, I really do have such a lot of rubbish. Do I really need the bag I bought in India four years ago and have never used?

I had to go in on the train, and think I've told you I'm scared to go near the gap/train with my vertigo, and yesterday went to the station to ask if the despatcher could just press the button for me. If the train door is open I can lurch on! Was told who to ask for, turned up early as promised, and the person was out today and no-one despatching. I was at the ticket window feeling sorry for myself at the news when I suddenly heard my name - a very nice woman I've known for twenty years was in the waiting room! She was going first class so helped me on first then insisted on lugging her huge bag on alone. I gave her a hug and went into standard and then worried all the way about the gap the other end, these new trains LNER have commissioned are a different shape.

My daughter's new house is lovely, and we went for lunch in an old church, I'm still full! She'd like us to withdraw from the sale and continue to look for the right person to cherish the house. I'm just waiting to see if he can get a mortgage, as it will give me more options for buyers at the auction. Whether he'll be completely truthful or not with the EA is another kettle of fish.

I've just paid six months rent for the cottage, such a big chunk. I think I'd already mentioned the landlords prefer you to use Octopus for energy - I've just set up a £50 per month direct debit. In the Station I'm with SSE, who have just told me I owe them £200! The meter reader phoned me and when I entered my reading, I'm really behind at a dd of £56 per month. I'll be shutting everything off when I leave, I almost wish I had a smart meter to see what my lamp post uses.

Deadwater Fell tonight, I do look forward to the few programmes I watch

That poxy buyer, he is potentially a scam artist. What a horrible person he is and what good honest person your stonemason is

I had to input my energy readings today and have decided to start to switch off as many standby lights as I can, when I go to bed. It will be an interesting exercise and I will know if it is worthwhile in a month. I do know that it looks like Blackpool if I need to come down in the dark

There are decent people around!

Aha Shandy, it's you mm!
Glad to hear you had a pleasant surprise from the stonemason. The buyer was trying it on!

Morning everyone, I've just had a nice thing happen and wanted to tell you.

I had the stone mason here before christmas, and believed he was charging £400 per day. I am feeling very anxious about money at the moment as I have a lot of bills coming. He's just given me his bill and it's far less than I had put to one side. I think I told you he was very annoyed the buyer rang him and asked him to quote for repointing the whole house. The whole house doesn't need repointing, and he said it was obvious he was asking so he could chip my price down further.

Nice to have friends!

Glad you changed your name! Welcome Shandy57. As Grammaretto said new you to go along with the new home.

Somehow our messages crossed and I didn't see your haircuts, I haven't been to the hairdresser since my daughter's graduation May 18! it's time I went. I've been putting it in a pony tail out of the way, and it's touching the back of my bra it's got so long, I have a small forehead and don't suit a fringe, unfortunately, or I'd keep it shoulder length to tie it back still. I will go as a treat when I've moved, and find my make up bag too - I haven't worn makeup for a long time either.

Argh Grammaretto, burnt lentils are both pongy and almost impossible to remove! Poor you. My thing was burning the milk pan as well as it overflowing all over the cooker suddenly, no microwaves then. My Mum was divorced and quite lonely, overly interested in everything we were doing and I was young, I did get exasperated with her sometimes.

I had a call today from an SSE meter reader - he asked for my reading, and said he was happy to come in person, but was a 45 minute drive away. I am having cold calls from Scottish Power, I wonder if it was a scam? I must go on-line and check. I am looking forward to the tiny bills at the rental craftyone, the tenant said they are £200 pm. I pay £700 here, £1000 when I've had to order oil. That does include Sky at £35, I cancelled the Sport when my husband died, I'll be reviewing all my bills tomorrow. I've just come down for a break, so cold upstairs and I'm still knee deep in clothes. Those zippy bags are great, I've got tons in. I have managed to sort out three sacks for the charity shop and ebay.

Off to check SSE website, reading must show by now.

oh yes haircuts. I pay £23 for a cut and blowdry now, she does a fab job and is always grateful for the £2 I give her. Last one used to cost me £50 and she only did half as good a job in a fancy salon, always running to answer the phone and not listening to what I wanted. I was always out of there in 20 minutes. They were good to start with but started taking me forgranted. I was very glad of being able to use the move as a reason to go from there

I bought 5 lengths of wood and cut them up to size, one length was rotten and I never noticed. The rest are wet and dark, if they dry out ok then fine, if they don`t tighten up when dry then I will put an honest post on google reviews. No-one should think they can sell shoddy wood to a little old lady just because she looks like a little old lady. I would be much more observant next time, could kick myself

The new name is more you Shandy57. Picture you in the garden with a icy glass of shandy with the sun beating down dog snoozing at your feet. Glad you are making head way.

Craftyone you definitely choose the right house to live in.

Found something else cheaper here. Haircuts. Walked to my local hairdressers. Very nice young man cut my hair £11.75 gave him £15 as that's what I used to pay. First time going to a salon in 16 years. Always used a mobile hairdresser before.

Ahhh new beginnings shandy

I cottoned on when you spoke about that thirsty expensive aga . To cheer yourself up, add up your current unavoidable outgoings such as oil+electricity+average maintenance+logs and then sub realistic values for a newer home. If it is modern insulated then electricity +gas will cost around £50 a month and maintenance for very new= zero

Ha Ha, Hi Shandy57 I just popped by and saw a new name on here. Took a moment
New name. New house, New you!

I lasted a whole week with my mum when we were waiting to move house. 2 small children plus dog in London. She was out at work during the day and I was supposed to cook. I was into healthy eating and made a huge lentil stew, burning her best casserole dish in the process. She flew into a rage and I left the next day. The next time I saw her was when she came to stay with us in Scotland - we were both far more relaxed by then.

Craftyone I've just realised you didn't know it was me, mosaicwarts, I've changed my name as people don't like it. At the time I registered every name I put in had been taken and it was desperate measures.

Hi craftyone, moving date is 7 February. I've just shut the aga off, I can make do with the microwave and electric cooker in the annexe. I'll miss drying things on there, and know rain is coming, but my oil is down to 7 bars which is about 1400L, and I don't want to buy any more. The aga uses 200L per month, central heating about 400L, so I should just get through to spring. I feel nervous when it gets down to 1000L, not sure I completely trust the watchman. The bad thing about shutting the aga off is the mad rooks post sticks down to try and nest, I'll have to be on the ball. Scared me to death last year, they were posting stones.

I popped down to the rental yesterday with my steel tape, and my 4 foot kitchen table will fit, at a squeeze. I do use it like a workbench, and would miss it. I also asked the agency if they could get the chimney swept, the man has been burning all sorts - his christmas tree was in the wood store. He collects wood from the forest opposite my house, I think he's been burning it green. They are actually moving out on 31st January, but the front door has to be replaced and the shower fixed before I move in.

I went onto another site and asked if anyone else is trying to sell a renovation project and how confident they were of the fully renovated value given to them by their estate agent. I still feel annoyed my buyer's surveyor said it was only worth £450 fully renovated. Three separate estate agents said £600, including the EA I'm now with and she wasn't saying it to get my business as I made it clear I was inviting her only. Unfortunately the expert posters on there won't comment without a link to the house, which I can't do whilst the buyer is still 'considering'. I hope he hurries up and I can relax and implement plan B.

Did you find anything nice to carve at the woodyard? I have a lovely elm tree you'd have a field day with - unfortunately silly builders mixed the staircase cement near its roots and it died. I'm sorry it wasn't a nice drive but glad you feel happy you bought your current house. There is an older estate of bungalows here I went to have a look at with my dog one night - ghost town. Hardly any lights on, tucked away in the middle of nowhere, with a long walk to the bus stop. The pavement was really bumpy tarmac with gravelly bits, not an enjoyable walk at all.

I'm having another coffee then going upstairs to pack my clothes and sewing things, the boxes they've given me are gigantic, I won't overpack them but hope the movers are strong. I can't see over them once I've got them in my arms!

Thanks mosaics, done and dusted!
welcome shandy. Are you moving?

I needed to get out today so went to a wood yard, 36 mile round trip along country lanes. I realised to my horror that I had looked at some of the areas that I went through, potentially to buy with visions of ambling on my bike on nice summer days. There was not a soul anywhere today, it was misty and bleak and the lanes were filthy. I had that tremour of horror down my back. What if I had bought one of the many properties I saw for sale? I might have done. It was not always head before heart like now. Quite a few bungalows with one car or no car, so many potentially isolated people

I have just changed my user name to Shandy57, I did try for other names I really liked but they were already in use. I hope my new name conjures up better visions!

Thank you Whiff I am going to put myself first now, it's important I succeed in this next phase, which still doesn't seem real. I am looking forward to pleasing myself again, especially not driving at night! I've booked to see Little Women as a 2 pm matinee, thanks for the heads up Franbern.

I made lots of boxes yesterday, the tape dispenser is now working faster now it's loosened up. I've got my lists, and am going to slowly work through them, and take your advice and rest inbetween. I still have the whole house in my mind, having the lists definitely helps me focus.

I'm glad your daughter can move in with you Grammaretto, my husband and I lived with my Mum when we were trying to buy our first house. She wasn't happy about the colony of cats I bought with me, rescued from our rented flat!

Craftyone, have you had your birthday yet? Wishing you good health and long life. This coming April birthday it does feel very odd to me that I'll be the same age as my husband.

Have a good day everyone, the week is flying.

Mosaciwarts I spoke in response to what you said. Sorry your daughter has suffered. But you now have to put yourself first. Not easy as parents we automatically put our children and grandchildren first. Your daughter is starting a new chapter in her life so are you. You will find it strange at first doing what you want when you want I did. But it is a wonderful feeling. It may seem selfish but I love doing what I want when I want. Eating when I am hungary and what I want. I never put my PJs on until I went to bed. But since moving I'm in them by 7. Take it easy packing pace yourself and make sure you eat and drink. Not long now before you move to the rental.

SueH49 sorry to hear about your husband's operation. Not long to wait to have it done. Once he has recovered it will give him a new lease of life. He will be soon chasing you round the table. My brother's friend had the same operation and I was surprised to hear that they go through the abdomen. Hope the viewing goes well.

Grammaretto you watch your daughter will move in and then find her new home not long after. When you have a house there are always things need doing.

Have a good day everyone.

Ooop

and she will grow in confidence as you put your trust in her to live apart from you.
Deep breaths in the coming weeks, Spring isn't far away with everything that brings.

You have to believe that your daughter will turn out fine mw and she

It's hard when the posts are public although I did hear that you can no longer search for the old posts of a particular poster, to protect privacy.

I always wonder on here as we only hear one side or part of a story don't we, so it can be hard to judge.

You seem very close to your DD mosaics and protective of her too which is lovely.

our DD is no nearer getting settled so it seems quite likely she will move in with us.
The joiner came today and a few more wee jobs were done. He sorted a sticking door and mended another. There are always jobs to be done whether or not you move house.

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Evening all, lovely to read all of your stories, heart warming as always. Thank you for being so supportive . I feel badly that I didn't explain before, as you have been given a bad impression of how my family treat me through my omission. I do worry about sharing personal information on the 'web'. and as you know, occasionally request my posts are deleted when I've said too much.

I cannot go into detail, but very shortly after her Dad passed, she suffered a catastrophic life changing event, which no-one outside of the family knows about. With professional help we are managing as best we can. I am lucky to have her x