Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Franbern, hugs from me too.

I sometimes wonder how the younger generation would cope, they will be older one day and many of us are of the generation when death was a fact when we were younger. People died and were kept in the front room, I remember being asked in to pay respects to adults and sadly a child in the next street. I often think of these words `in the midst of life we are in death`

So today I had a car insurance renewal quote, naturally gone up. I haven`t updated my m/s money programme for over a month, done it and can now see two pinch points coming up in february, when I will have to draw from savings. I don`t go on holidays `yet` and I have savings and I do treat myself from time to time but nevertheless I would be hard pushed to have a good quality of life without my savings. Its potentially a bit scary, everything is going up. I am glad I never overstretched myself when buying this house. Would have been easy to do in the adrenaline fuelled search process

Sorry to hear about your son Franbern. He would probably have understood your desire to move out of London at your age. Take care.

Oh Franbern, how utterly tragic - Hugs from me as well xx

Franbern, big hugs to you on this special day, wishing you happy memories xx

Franbern my thoughts are with you today. As you say the loss never goes away but you cope. It's lovely you have such a wonderful family. I am sure your son and friend would be very proud of all you have done with your life . And would both love your new home. As wherever you are would be home to them. Like Garmmaretto says do something nice today. Take care.

Franbern ((hugs)) such a cruel world. When my dad died, I was 5, and my mum was so bereft. Later people would tell her how well she managed to cope with 3 small children and assumed she had "got over it". She said that she never got over it but had to carry on for the sake of us.
Try to do something nice and indulgent today!

Today should have been the 43rd birthday for my youngest child. He died, suddenly, tragically nearly 18 years ago. The sharpness of that loss has definitely gone, but still miss him so much. He did not see my last house and I do wonder what he would say about me now living so far from his beloved London.
It is also the birth anniversary of my best friend. She died a few months after I finally retired and I still do miss having her around, even if just at the end of a phone.
BUT......life does go on, and for all of us death is inevitable. My other children will telephone me, or message me today to check that I am okay.

When my husband was told he was terminal only 2 friends disappeared. When he died all his relatives did apart from his vile mom and her brother. Luckily once she died that was it for his family. One of his old scouting friends and family still keep in touch. It seems strange as I will be here in my home not our home. But not sad. Last year was the first time I didn't let it make me into a sodden mess. It won't again this year. He would hate me still being on my own but I still love him . And still feel half of me is missing. He was my one and only and I was lucky to have had him in my life. Together 29 years married nearly 23. Said I was in a reflective mood.

Anyway that's enough of that.

Mosaciwarts have a good night's sleep you have a busy day tomorrow and a busy few weeks ahead of you.

Craftyone I will do something new on the day. And have a nice lunch somewhere. Be thinking about you on 17th.

I am glad you succeeded in moving Liljan as it seemed slow and difficult at the end. How horrid to find the new house dirty but at least you still had energy to clean it up and get everything going. Happy Days!

Mosaics the more I think about it, the better it seems that you have a "tame" move before you have to find your forever house. It shares out the upheaval too. DM did that. She sold the family house and moved to a flat just nearby but a few years later she moved again. By that time she had shed most of her big stuff making packing and reorganising so much easier. She was in her last flat - ground floor with garden - for 25years and very happy there. Though it was small, we managed to squeeze in and sleep on her sofabed, the DC on camp beds the floor for visits.

Sending warm wishes to you all especially those who are grieving.

One house DD is quite keen on has an under offer banner on it on rightmove today. Bother!

Liljan, you first and I am very very glad that you are in your new home. I am appalled that it is/was so filthy, I don`t understand people who do that, they have no pride or empathy. I cleaned as I cleared, one cupboard at a time, even the tops of cupboards, skirtings, the lot

mybirththedragon, oh dear what a muddle. I hope you get closure very soon and come on here if you need to rant

whiff, I understand, me too on the 17th of next month. I will go somewhere for the day, maybe on a steam train to a seaside town or to a national trust property. I need to be away from the house. My brother will be going through similar, it is the 17th when his wife passed, one year after my husband. I am not maudlin, its a fact of life and a date exactly opposite to a birhday

Mosaics you said that friends vanished, same here and most of his family. Its hard having to re-build a life while coping with grief and there are people who don`t manage to do that.

Hey Whiff, thank you for the encouragement xx I was thinking about it in bed and the most important things to me are my photographs. I'm going to focus on them and declutter everything else that needs dusting, I'm going to unpack it all today ready to sell.

Big hugs for your anniversary/birthday/date memories. 1975 and sweet sixteen, how lovely you found love so early in your life. A great year for me too, I'd just started working for Bill Cotton at the BBC as I'd managed to get my shorthand speed up to 100 wpm. Such a shame getting photos developed was so expensive then, I hope you have some to look at.

I'm really struggling with the anniversary of my husband's death in May, as I'll be the same age as him on my birthday in April. I don't think I've used the four years as wisely as I should but the complete disappearance of our friends did unbalance me. I also found it hard coping with the appearance of my forty year old 'step son' - who I have continued to send a Christmas card to, without response. Since seeing the will, he hasn't made any contact.

I went to the cemetery yesterday and am really glad I spent that muddy rainy September day digging out the buttercup roots and planting the crocus at the back of his grave, they are all coming up - I think I told you both sides of his stone are engraved. Sadly looks like the crazed grasscutter killed his snowdrops at the front. Seems like a very long time ago I was on the internet, trying to find the words for it and wondering whether his gravestone should be 'from him' or 'about him' and getting my head round all the different types of stone. My poor kids, that was a dreadful period, I wanted to check every detail with them, too sad. I am glad the rental is up the road and I can still visit the cemetery regularly - I'm sure the robin is too! Comes to my car when I drive in, not sure how he knows it's me! My dog hates coming, walks with his head down.

Freezing here and I can hardly type, enjoy this mild day!

Liljan glad you are now in your new home. Sorry it was left in an awful state. I cleaned my old house within a inch of its life when it was empty. There was no way I would leave it dirty. Luckily my sellers cleaned the bungalow before I had the keys . The bungalow had been empty since May 2018 as the owner had died. My only problem was mice. Didn't see any but saw the dropping in the loft and under the sink cupboard. Had pest control in and they were dealt with. I should give your house a thorough check as it was left in that state . I have 2 plug in rodeint repellers in my bungalow they also are set for insects had the from Screwfix. One of the contributors on this thread recommended them. They work a treat.

Mosaicwarts it is hard giving up things but just think of it as freedom. Freedom to do things you have always wanted to do freedom from worry once you house is sold. You will be able to relax and I am quite sure your pets with love being in a smaller place.

In a reflective mood today but not sad it's the count down to the anniversary of my husband's death early next month. Four days before the anniversary it would have been his birthday also the day after his birthday would have been the anniversary of our first date. 1975 he was 18 and me 16. 45 years ago.

Hope you all have a good day.

So pleased you are finally "in" Liljan and the horrid bits will soon become a distant memory. Sorry to hear the property was filthy and certainly you should charge the ex owners for leaving unwanted stuff. I remember we once accidentally left an old rabbit hutch at the bottom of the garden and were contacted by the new owners' solicitor to fetch it. Something tells me we had to pay too.
When we left London our EA lent us his cleaner he uses for rentals. She spent 5 hours after the removers left and the place was sparkling, even the inside windows, skirting etc. Money well spent. I could never leave a house anything other than clean having ourselves been very lucky to find the same at our new houses, apart from one, in the past.
Oh yes, and there should always be a space for the vaccuum cleaner in the car Franbern.

Mythbirthtthedragon, so sorry to read your story, especially as your DP's brother died during it all. I hope you can sell the house quickly and put it all behind you without too much financial outlay. I have been researching selling my house at auction, it's no longer only renovation/repossessions, many people are selling through auction for a quick sale. An 'unconditional' sale is completed in 28 days 'conditional' in 56 days. You still need to pay a solicitor, as well as the auction fees, I've been quoted 2.5%. Good luck.

Liljan, I am so sorry your sellers have left the house like this, I doubt they seemed such dirty ignorant people when you met them. We bought lots of things we didn't really want to help the seller, his wife had cancer and he was just so exhausted. Leaving stuff for you to dispose of without your agreement is appalling, I am glad you are dealing with it with such good humour. You've also reminded me I haven't cleaned the outside of my kitchen cupboards for a year, will do today! But you are in, and about to start a fantastic new year in your new home - wishing you much happiness

Very glad the wind has dropped today, I was a bit scared driving yesterday it was so bad.

Beach with doggo when I've drunk my tea, then final walk round the house to double check my move to cottage/storage house list before the removal people come tomorrow. I'm going to leave the things I want to sell/donate in the main house. At the moment I feel as though I'm clinging to it all, need to get a grip. I need to get in touch with my husband's friend to take the grandfather clocks, hopefully he'll be at the golf club this morning.

Have a good day everyone

I have moved many times and always cleaned my house to within an inch of its life. When were moving across the country or abroad I always paid someone to come in and do the finishing touches after we had left. My houses were probably the cleanest they had ever been the day we left. It was a matter of pride and I simply couldn't bear the thought of neighbours being told we had left the place dirty.

However, in my previous life as an estate agent I have seen many simply filthy houses. I think a lot of people just don't see it; they live that way and leave the house the same way. When I have been valuing houses there are many times I just couldn't face going into the bathrooms. I got to the stage where I would stand at the door to make notes of the fitments. By that stage I had stared down too many filthy toilets.

Liljan, so pleased that you are at last actually in your new home. From here onwards it will get easier, all the stress of waiting on those letters, etc and not knowing is passed.
Surely, in fixtures and fittings lists there is a clause about having to have all items removed or else cost of that is responsibility of vendor. Contact your own solicitors with quotes as to cost of getting all that rubbish removed, they should sort this out for you,.
Think most of us try our best to leave our homes as clean as possible. Did not have time to get in professional cleaners - but had spent months before the move going through all cupboards and drawers giving them a thorough cleaning, so that on the day that the packers came in could just give them a wipe over. Kept back vacuum cleaner (it went in my sons car when we locked up the house), so that all carpets could have a final 'going over'.
As the flat I moved into was vacant possession, it was obvious that as the sale neared its end, and the people who were now selling it got all the furniture moved out they had got in professional cleaners. Must say, they did a more or less good job, there were some black stains on the carpet (looked like some sort of oil/grease) - no idea what it was, and I have spent sometime both with my carpet shampooer and a steam cleaner, but have finally got them all out now.

Glad you are in Liljan even if not in ideal circumstances. How can people leave a place so dirty? I would be too ashamed to at least not attempt to clean it to an acceptable standard. So rude of the previous owners to just leave stuff there. You should send them a bill for the removal of it.

When all is in order to your satisfaction I'm sure you will have some tales to tell.

Good morning all, we got into our new home on the 10th, much later than we had hoped but we got in, of course nothing worked to begin with, the house was absolutely filthy, even the cupboard doors were “glued” with grime. The built in fridge door doesn’t close as the springs in the hinge have snapped, the loft & garage are still full of their unwanted belongings, an extremely tired patio set still sits where ours should be, a poor dead pigeon was the first thing our dog found at the side door....I could go on but hey we’re here. The new hinges have been ordered, the scrubbing is well underway, boxes are being unpacked, washing machine plumbed in and working, log burner emptied, cleaned and on delighting our dog who has barely moved from the front of it, internet/phone finally working so I’m able to update you all. Many, many thanks for your collective crossed fingers, toes and shoulders to lean on, it really made a difference, I’ll continue to visit this post and support where I can as you’ve all supported me.

Craftyone, I think you are right. A comfortable rental will be the way to go. It is just a matter of a/ finding one and b/ the timing and that will probably depend on when hubby is to have his surgery. Do we try and move before that or wait until after baring in mind that we have to leave by late March in any case.

I hope your niece and other family members are safe and stay that way. I think most of us, the media and world attention have been so caught up in the situation in the East of the country that the West has been forgotten. Two people I know have lost property in the Victoria/NSW fires. One a holiday home the other their permanent residence. And I see another firefighter has lost his life while trying to bring the fires under control. I think he is the fourth one to lose his life. So sad.

Mythbirtthedragon feel free to moan shout and jump about if you want. We here have done that covering a variety of subjects. Craftyone started this thread and I hope I speak for all here am grateful for it. I don't know anything about this but I am sure someone on here may be able to help you.

Craftyone hope your relatives stay safe.

I’ve been following this chat and what a lively one it’s been, so sorry if I sound like a moan but I do need to share. When DP’s mother died (2015), the family home was shared between her 3 children, with a trust being set up to enable DP’s brother to have a life interest. For over a year, we’ve been trying to buy the shares of DP’s brother and sister, as both were in need of funds. There have been 3 lots of solicitors involved (the trust insisted BiL and DP and me had to have independent solicitors in order to ‘deal’ and none of them have impressed me, particularly those holding the trust who advised one course of action then, 6 months in, told us that was not the way to do it. Now DP’s brother has died, the property is shared between DP and his sister and all the work which has been done so far falls away. DP and SiL want to put the property on the market but we’ve got to wait for the trustees to get their act together. Just wondering how long they’ll string that out for. (Sorry again, I’ll get my coat).

The fire got to emergency level and they had to leave quickly plus all their animals. This morning it is contained but not controlled but is looking better than yesterday.

Ellianne very funny. That pair want their cake and eat it. The Queen should strip them of any titles and privileges. Fancy leaving their son in Canada when they popped back.

I was just thinking mw if your name were Meghanwarts you would have no problem moving into your new mansion, with your pets, and you get your present house all done up and you could still come back and stay in it and join in all things you chose to but not those things that were tedious! Oh and you wouldn't tell your daughter until it was fait accomplished.

Just back, I took the money and some flowers, apologised profusely, my dog walking acquaintance was amazed it was me and we had a good chat about 'moving'. She's very happy they've sold to someone they know in the village who wanted to downsize, they are upsizing in the village and hope to have a competion date soon. Apparently the on-line estate person couldn't remember who I was - ? which is why the bill has come now. She suddenly remembered I 'might' live in the station! A pleasant end to that, what's next!