Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

I've just been reading through my emails.

I asked the EA where to send the damp/timber report, and they've asked for it to be sent to them. I think I misunderstood that day when they rang, I was sure they said the mortgage company wanted it before they'd consider the mortgage loan. I feel embarrassed to ask, but was in such a tizz about my aunt when they rang, I could easily be mistaken.

My daughter accepted the room tonight, and hopes to move in on 17th. It's a sinking ship here!

Mosaciwarts not a sinking ship you are getting freedom. You will be living somewhere that gives you time for you to be yourself. Children leave home for good because that's what being a good parent is all about. You bring your children up to fly. It's hard when they have left home to set up their own homes where and whatever it is. But when they do you know you have done a good job in raising them. I adore my family but I love my life. I like doing what I want when I want eating when I want and what I want. I can't have my husband. But I don't want anyone else. When you are in the rental you will have time to see how much easier your life gets in a smaller place. Once your house is sold. You well have a better idea of the kind of home you want. It's late I know I am rambling but I am sure your husband would be very proud of all the obstacles you have faced and how you have coped.

Thanks Whiff, thank you for saying my husband would be proud of me, I know I've done things he wouldn't have and have been very silly with money, he was such a good money manager.

It was always the plan when my daughter returned from travelling for her to be at home until she got a job. I know it is for the best she lives nearer work, her days are very long with all the train delays. She has to get the train an hour earlier to make sure she gets in on time, today she's doing a double shift and will be getting the 11 am train for her 1 pm shift, back at 10.40 pm because she just misses the 9.40 pm. It will be nice not to go driving in the dark to collect her on the late night scary drive, I've been nervous of having to do it in snow

I think it's just the thought of doing all the packing and moving on my own. but I have to remind myself that I don't have to rush, whether this buyer proceeds or I go to auction, I've still got weeks. The moving company are coming on Monday to have a look, I don't know if they can move us on the 7th yet, anyway. My daughter's hoping to move in next Friday and will be packing her bedroom up during her days off next week. It's her birthday on Thursday, she's working Friday, and flying to Malaga with friends for a weekend away.

I finally got my huge list of move down to the cottage/storage/sell or donate done yesterday, I'll be walking around and checking it and typing it up later. The storage part can be delayed as I don't know about the developer yet. I am planning on taking some of the smaller more portable things down myself so it won't be too difficult.

I am going to try and relax more, and stop being so anxious.
My elderly aunt's neighbour, who is her POA as well as a fantastic friend, has just been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy. She is a single Mum, has two jobs, looks after her 80+ year parents and my aunt, poor woman can't drive until her eye 'refocuses'. My aunt cannot move her green bin out to the pavement and she always does it for her - she'd gone to her parents to stay but somehow she came over to do it for her yesterday, I think she got a taxi. I do hope she makes a full recovery.

Jane10 - great description. Yes, I feel that I am on holiday in my flat. Wonderful, permanent holiday.
Mw, surely your movers will provide boxes for you to use as part of the cost of the removal.
When the lady opposite me moved last April, she had loads of those very large plastic, strong ziptop shopping bags that can be purchased for about one pound. She did her own removal, with some friends with a van and had these all on her front drive. As she was moving nearby, they did lots of trips.
When she popped over to say Goodbye and Good Luck to me I mentioned these, and a few weeks later she came to me with about half a dozen of them.
Must say, even with having removal company packing, I found these lovely for things like, towels and sheets, etc. One I kept as the bag for cups, coffee/tea, biccies, etc on removal day. Another one, I put in all my different leccie extension leads. Took that with me in my car, so as soon as I arrived was able to access these as necessary,. Still have one waiting wardrobes to be unpacked, the remainder have now gone to local charity shop.
It is hard as children fly the nest,. But this is a really good time for your daughter to do so. Sure she will give you a hand with the actual move, but you will not have to take her needs into consideration. It really is moving on to the next stage in your life.
Cannot recommend downsizing enough!!!

Whiff's spot on, MW - your daughter is becoming her own woman now, which is as it should be, and your next home will be yours alone, with all the freedom that that entails. It will be a lovely little interim home, where you can get used to being on your own, while still being in the same area so everything is still familiar. I worry about you having to do those long drives in the dark on country roads, I would hate it, in fact I honestly don't think I could do it!!

I know it's hard, doing all this yourself, and yes, you will have made financial mistakes, but you have us now, supporting you and holding your had through this process, and between us we'll make sure you find your ideal forever home.

Gram, Dear God, that house!!!! How on earth do they expect to sell in that condition, given that it doesn't appear to have been priced accordingly? Mind boggling

Mosaicwarts you sound more positive. Which is wonderful. It is daunting packing but I set myself an achievable target of what to get done each day. It's a wonderful feeling when you look around to see how much you can achieve. Remember to rest and enjoy it.

Thank you all for your encouragement. I've just had the rental agency on asking me to insure the cottage, and again have been going through badly filed documents, to find my house insurance 'claim' from 2016. Just after my husband died in May 2016 my son came to help me clear the garden, and when he left, I noticed the pointy loppers by the oil tank - and a HOLE in the oil tank. He doesn't remember doing it, it could have been a sharp stone from a passing train. I couldn't believe it, I'd been really careful with the oil as I was saving it for the winter, I'd shut off the heating and the aga. I called my boiler engineer, who said I could temporarily block the hole with soap - which worked - but there was oil on the ground, I had no idea how much had leaked.

I rang the insurance company and I had the oil transferred to a temporary tank, luckily hadn't lost enough oil for the platform to be excavated. My 'claim' for oil loss and investigations came to £2,600. I had a new 2000L double bunded tank installed. I had no choice but to use the company who had installed the temporary tank, as companies were saying they could deliver but not install, and my tank is raised thirty foot above the road. Ended up with a £4,000 bill, so very lucky probate had come through.

Hopefully will raise some money through selling unwanted things. Ebay sales hanging on the kitchen door ready to be photographed and uploaded, wish I had one of those sturdy metal racks.

what an organised person you have become mosaics, no longer a heap of worried nerves. Your husband would be so very proud of you, that you have taken charge. Don`t worry about your daughter, it is a good time for her to move, to spread her wings. There is the empty nest syndrome but you will hardly notice because of being so very busy. I like the way you are dealing with chunks by the way

That saying `what doesn`t kill us makes us stronger` it could not be more true. We have seen you grow and flourish and we are all proud of you

I hope Liljan's move is going well today.

Oh yes mosaics everything seems to be moving along nicely. I'm glad your DD has found a room.
Have you a friendly neighbour who could help with the packing?
A local friend offered to help me when I was clearing out the granny flat. She arrived armed with bin bags, tape and marker pens and I labelled boxes and we managed to do a huge amount. Somehow it was fun sharing the work.
I didn't manage or even try to sell anything but I got a lot of it off to charity shops.

A friend of ours has offered to be a second safety net for DD, in case the mother/daughter relationship would be strained beyond repair if she lived here! Aren't people lovely. I still hope they find a house and money to buy it.
Thanks for the EA tip.
Are auctions a suitable place for first time buyers?

I've totally lost my mojo.

We now have just over 2 months to find a new home. There is nothing that s suitable on the market and little or nothing coming onto the market to look at. We will probably need to find a rental property, but even those are few and far between.

I look around the house and see so many things to be cleared out but cannot get off my backside to do anything about it. As my mother would say I am so busy doing nothing I have no time to do anything.

At least it appears that my infection has at long last cleared up. I will see the surgeon next week for confirmation of that. We found out last week that hubby needs quadruple bypass surgery. We will see the cardiologist on Tuesday to work out timing etc but I assume it will be sooner rather than later. Whichever it will no doubt impact on shifting.

I can only hope 2020 gets better.

Your mother's words are very apt SueH . But even when you are over an infection there is always that low time. Do you remember when it was called "post flu depression?"
Worry about DH will not be helping either. Sending ((hugs))

When you really need to find somewhere too, somehow nothing is right. I would seriously think about a let until the right place comes on the market.
My sensible friend did that. She moved to Scotland from her perfect house in Cornwall to be near to DD and DGC. She rented for a full year and then , I think while she was making friends in the area and getting to know what was available, she gradually changed her strict requirements to realise what she really needed . Her last house sounded idyllic but she once confessed that the neighbours were a nightmare and now she has OK neighbours and a wonderful outlook.
She has gradually made it all work for her and being near her DGC is perfect.

SueH49 glad to hear about your infection but sorry to hear about your husband. What's the old saying it never rains but pours. With the house search it's the last thing you both needed. When I can't get myself motivated I end up giving myself a good talking to and saying out loud usually gets me going again.
Hope you are successful in either finding a rental or a place to buy soon. Failing that is there anyone you could stay with and put your things in storage? Are you still safe from the fires?

Grammaretto and Whiff. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Once we know when hubby’s surgery will be we should be able to make a decision as to the best tine to move. At this stage a rental is most likely and that would mean we didn’t need to rush into buying something that is not really what we want.
Whiff we don’t have anyone we could stay with but we could if necessary stay short term in an apartment complex. Would have to put the dog in kennels for a while but that would not be a problem for a short time.

We are still safe from the fires Whiff and we have also had some good rain. Not enough but at least some has hit some of the fire areas. More hot weather due mid week though before a cooler end to the week

Hello everyone, very windy here today.

Grammaretto, I don't know if auctions are good for first time buyers as they'd have to get their mortgage in place very quickly, but the auctioneers say they are attractive to sellers because of the quick sale potential. Someone with a perfect house may go to auction for a quick sale because they are emigrating, perhaps. Definitely worth a look, the auction filter on RightMove brings them all up.

SueH49 I am sorry to hear your husband's news, but it is marvellous it can be done nowadays and his energy levels will be back up again. Great your infection has finally gone. When my husband was hospitalised in Portugal he was tested positive for MRSA when he was admitted in the UK, I lived in fear of him getting a wound. Good luck with your house search, I hope the NY brings you more choices.

Talking of rentals, I've just paid the deposit on my daughter's new room, it is happening without the hoops I had to jump through, I was worried she'd have to 'prove her income'.

Craftyone, I've just bought the big zippy bags from Ikea, and Franbern, found some of the ones you mentioned at the market. I'm a bag lady! Will be fantastic for my fabrics, I'm determined to get that 17 m I got for £1 per metre made into curtains, even if it is 20 years old!

You are still making me smile. Where is all that energy coming from?

Sue, I do hope that everything is nice and smooth re your husbands surgery. I would completely forget house hunting for now, it would have to be a comfortable rental with storage if needed. You are both going to need some comfort and the peace and quiet will be nice. Just give in to it, go with the flow. You can go back to being superwoman in good time

My niece has been told to leave her home in aus, WA.

Best wishes for her safety craftyone, how frightening. I watched Deadwater Fell last night and thought of everyone in Oz.

I feel so embarrassed, I've just found a note in the letter box.

I went to see a bungalow locally in October, and couldn't find the doorbell. I pressed on a small plastic square on the wall, and it broke I was very upset to have done it of course, and when the estate agent came to the door I told her, and said I'd pay for it to be repaired, she wouldn't take any cash from me.

I've just received a rather shirty note from the owners with a £40 bill for the light replacement, asking me to drop the money round as soon as possible. They don't realise they know me - or that I'd told several people one of them had passed because of the estate agent! I'll go round later with the cash and a packet of biscuits.

Why have they waited so long before claiming any money. I would query what the money is for.

The bill says 'take down broken wall light and fit replacement'. I didn't break the light, just the 2" square piece of plastic that covered a button. It was very brittle, like dried pasta - seems they had to buy a whole new light They had it done in November, obviously got busy with Christmas. I did offer to pay at the time, just a horrible month to be asked for money, the cupboard is bare!

Oh what a shame mosaics. So many of us feel for you that if you set up a 'Just giving' page you'd raise a fortune. Meantime all I can send you are my heartfelt best wishes.

Just back, I took the money and some flowers, apologised profusely, my dog walking acquaintance was amazed it was me and we had a good chat about 'moving'. She's very happy they've sold to someone they know in the village who wanted to downsize, they are upsizing in the village and hope to have a competion date soon. Apparently the on-line estate person couldn't remember who I was - ? which is why the bill has come now. She suddenly remembered I 'might' live in the station! A pleasant end to that, what's next!

I was just thinking mw if your name were Meghanwarts you would have no problem moving into your new mansion, with your pets, and you get your present house all done up and you could still come back and stay in it and join in all things you chose to but not those things that were tedious! Oh and you wouldn't tell your daughter until it was fait accomplished.

Ellianne very funny. That pair want their cake and eat it. The Queen should strip them of any titles and privileges. Fancy leaving their son in Canada when they popped back.

The fire got to emergency level and they had to leave quickly plus all their animals. This morning it is contained but not controlled but is looking better than yesterday.