Would you move to the country?

Living in the countryside is not an unsustainable choice as long as you plan carefully. Online shopping is convenient if you have good internet connection, and that you accept that there maybe no local shops, sometimes not even a pub, and healthcare can be some distance away.
I lived in the countryside when my children were young but gradually overtime we lost our shop, our bus service was drastically reduced and our medical centre closed.
Now I live close to town, bus stop round the corner with a 10 minute service to town. I currently can and do drive but realise that I may not always be able to, or even want to drive in the future.
You could rent for awhile in your chosen part of the countryside and then see how it works for you now, and assessed how it will work in the future.

Our village had a school and buses, the school closed and the bus service was also stopped, it’s over 3 miles to our nearest shop and the route into the nearest towns, although the chemist delivers and the shopping is online, it feels that we need to move soon.

DH loves it here, it’s peaceful but handy for the main roads to the city, and we have no stairs so fairly future proof.

The doctors would laugh at you if you asked them to call and the cost of taxis is astonishing, if you can get someone to come out.

All the time he can drive it’s no problem.if it was up to me , I’d move into the market town.

Maw, I think he is posting on every thread. I reported him too.

Reported Mike please go away and try a dating site. ?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

We are both originally from inner London. We, like a lot of big city dwellers, had that dream of moving to the countryside to a little cottage with roses round the door and no neighbours, peace and quiet. However, some friends of ours did us an enormous favour when our house purchase fell through and said we could stay in their cottage in rural Oxfordshire whilst we looked for another house and furniture was in storage. We went stir crazy within the first month! After another month we made the very sensible decision not to move somewhere which was isolated. Bought a lovely little house in Exeter right near the River Exe and the Quay. 20 mins walk into town, local pubs, shops and clubs and loads of transport. Best decision we ever made. Even then, it took us quite a while to settle and make a new circle of friends, but after 8 years, I would never ever return to London or indeed a small hamlet in the country. Each to their own.

I would urge anyone thinking of moving to remember GP's don't seem to do housecalls now however ill a person may be. Make sure you can get to GP if you need to. You can shop online and even get prescriptions posted out to you but you have to go to GP. Living where you can get a tradesperson to do jobs around house is alsomimportant as you get older. Just trying to be practical. When I wss much yiunger i have lived at back of beyond where even postman left mail 1 mike away at end of track but i would not do this now.

No. I've lived in a village - horribly boring, few amenities, limited cultural activities, public transport erratic, lack of diversity. Never again.

I just want to warn against over caution. Several people we've known did the sensible thing by moving house and downsized too soon to places where they were lonely and unhappy. I know you have mentioned the grass can seem greener already.

Another friend, when she retired, bought a campervan and drove all over Europe with a female friend. She had a wonderful time and got her lust for adventure out of her system.

I still believe if you want an adventure then you are not too old and if you really dislike the place you are in, you should move to somewhere a little quieter.

As you age your lifestyle naturally changes anyway.

DH was suspended from driving for three months because of a medical condition, dealt with and now driving again. It enabled us to see how we would cope if in that position permanently. It was quite reassuring. Some of our activities would need to be curtailed because they were some distance away, but generally we managed.

However, when discussing what we would do if his condition proved not controllable and his licence was with drawn, we were able to have a dry run of the plan we already have for such a problem - moving into a town with most things on the doorstep.

The time scale would be governed by how long it took us to find a buyer for our house. But our house has always been well maintained, so preparation for sale would be easy and I am a chucker-out not a hoarder, so moving would not be too difficult and we also would only want to downsize the garden and be nearer amenities, so there would be no problem of downsizing the house. A RightMove search showed a number of houses that met our requirements in the towns we would consider moving to, at a price we were happy with.

We have moved 4 times already, plus helping children negotiate their own moves, so we know the perils and pitfalls. In fact, as a paper exercise it was very re-assuring.

Thank you all for your replies and for sharing your experiences. I am aware as someone said in their post that the grass always seems greener etc. An isolated hamlet wouldn’t suit me now let alone as I get older. I find it difficult to meet new people & am not a fan of change, so a move is looking increasingly unlikely as I have always felt it would be impractical. We would be able to manage in a village now but who knows what the future holds & I wouldn’t want to move now & have to move again in 10 years time. Thinking about moving has forced us to think about the positives of where we currently live - there are many.
Newquay, I stated that I currently drive, I am aware that this will not always be the case, our current property is manageable without a car, we have several older neighbours who manage without cars.
Thank you again for your replies.

Don’t leave decisions til it’s a crisis IMHO when you’re rushed into things. If you make decisions now with an eye on the future you can still be “in control”.
We know we/whoever is left can live here easily on the ground floor.
We have good shops/cash machine at the end of our flat road where the bus stop and GP is too so, hopefully, we can see our days out here. Our DD1 lives nearby but is self employed so couldn’t be involved in care; DD2 lives 3 hours away so we need to be as “self sufficient” as possible.

Newquay

I agree, the last few years I’ve had more difficulty with night driving, and to be honest, I’m not as confident as I was.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop driving as long as I’m able, but if I had to stop, I’d feel very isolated living here. The town beckons.

Everyone thinks they can carry on as they are-driving, climbing stairs etc and they will have time to make changes. Sometimes, sadly, enormous changes happen suddenly without notice. No longer driving can pose a problem. OP, Sue (?), said she wouldn’t want to stop driving-let’s hope she (or others round her) have the sense to stop when it’s no longer safe. You may think you’re still safe. DH had an assessment recently by Institute of Advanced Motorists so we know he’s safe (for now). I know my limits too.

My Dad has lived in the countryside for the past 25years, which was fine whilst he was active and could drive his car, but increasingly with age, hes become more and more dependent on others to remain there. The Gp surgery is run on part time hours, the local bus service went into recievership last year through lack of use, the local shop is a walk across a field away, with no footpath along the busy main road with its 50mph speed limit and heavy haulage traffic to access the shop safely. The decision to move him away from his home and into a care home came after he had a nasty fall, and it took the emergency services 5 hours to get to him, due to flooding in the surrounding areas. The final blow was when the care agency responsible for his care in the community withdrew their cover to the entire area, on the grounds of increasing travel costs and lack of workers living in the local area. Moving into a care home and learning a whole new routine amongst people who are virtual strangers has been very difficult and confusing for him he keeps asking me to take him back home, but home for him in such a remote and unsupported area is no longer a safe option, and being disabled myself, there is no way l could carry on looking after him myself, as much as l would like to.

When I see programs such as Escape to the Country, I wonder if half of them have ever thought it through.

We’ve always lived in villages, our children were brought up with a huge amount of freedom they probably wouldn’t have now, we’ve had very good neighbors over the years, and a good support system.

But, I’ve probably driven thousands and thousands of miles getting the children to various schools, all around narrow, winding lanes, treacherous in the winter. We had one bus a week, on a Wednesday. One village shop selling absolute essentials only.

No school, two pubs, one for the posh end, one for the locals!
Car constantly caked with mud in the winter, and forever reversing miles for giant tractors to pass you in summer.
I wouldn’t change it, there are lots of advantages, but probably not a brilliant move in later life.

We spent the first 20 years of our married life in Hong Kong, so city living, and moved back to UK and have spent the last 18 and a half living in a small hamlet which we love!

My parents always said they'd move to Southampton when my Dad retired (he was born there and they met there) but when it came to it they didn't as they were too well established where my Mum still lives.

I do feel that you need to be careful what you wish for, the grass isn't always greener!

We have a home in Cumbria which we are in the process of selling, we could have lived there permanently in retirement but decided against it. The nearest hospital, with not a very good track record, is too far away in an emergency. Several of our neighbours haven't survived after heart attacks.
We have decided to live on the outskirts of a city where we are within walking distance of a bus stop and half a mile from two supermarkets. The nearest hospital is ten minutes away.

Very sensible post, patcaf.
I think we maybe left it too late to leave, and underestimated the problems of selling up and moving. But you put these things off when you're older.

We moved 3 years ago from a large town to the rural Irish countryside. No buses, trains or taxis so you need to drive everywhere. Nearest town is 15 miles away. Hospital over an hour by ambulance. No street lights so gets dark very quickly. We already know that at some point we will need to move to the town for doctors , hospitals , services etc.

It is absolutely wonderful from May to September as we have 3 beaches within walking distance and there are lots of holiday makers and our children and friends come to visit. Plenty of festivals to go to etc. Come the winter everything closes down. People seem to hunker down in their houses over winter although all the clubs still operate if you can drive.

So you need to think about your health, ability to drive (really need two cars) , can you cope during the winter months , are you OK as a couple on your own a lot of the time. If you are fine with all that then it is a wonderful experience for 5 to 10 years but at some point you will need facilities and services much nearer home and will have to move.

Re the cost of running a car vs. taxis - when my mother became nervous about driving and gave up her car at about 80, I reminded her repeatedly about how many taxis she’d be able to take with all the money saved on petrol, insurance, servicing and MOTs.

Did she ever take one?
No, because in her head they were still an unwarranted extravagance.
It was a thousand pities, since she left the house less and less.

Grammah, I am 11 years older than you and exactly at your age we moved to a somerset village. We had lots of energy still, I got an allotment and my husband got involved in hobbies, in groups with other people. He died in 2015 and suddenly I was left in this village in a house that dh loved more than me, no0one to bring me cups of tea and many a time I was the only person on the allotment

My eyes got floaters and I got scared about deteriorating eyesight and managing a lime render and wood house, lime is fragile and I had to do a substantial mend on the render in 2016. The tiered garden had 2 sets of wooden steps now showing signs of deterioration as were the wooden garden retaining walls

So I moved and cannot help but wish this move had happened when I was 61, when dh could have done all those bits to make a house a home. I would have moved to the same market town but now at 71 I decided that I needed to move to a maintenance free new build. I was very lucky and have the perfect well built house and am working on a potager garden. Moving here at 61 would have been so much more sensible. What I am saying is that I wish we had looked ahead and had made that final move at 61. 71 was do-able but it gets increasingly difficult with age

We used to live in a very busy town in Hampshire. As my health deteriorated I lost my independence and became quite housebound. No longer able to venture far, I would often not see a soul for days apart from my husband when he was not working. Everyone seemed to have busy lives and no one knew their neighbours.
A few years ago we decided to move to the country, but not in a remote area, instead we are on a small ‘development’. We are about 5 mins drive from a couple of vibrant villages and quarter of an hour from a couple of larger towns,
It was the best move we’ve ever made. Still very unwell I’m no longer lonely. In Hampshire hardly anyone knew their neighbours but here it is a real community. People pop round, they hold get togethers, everyone knows each other.
Wonderful caring health service here too. Instead of seeing a different GP every time, I see the same doc, even the receptionist is friendly!
Don’t give up the dream!

If you move from a high value area, OP, to a lower one or even trade up to a bigger house in a lower priced place , you might not be able to afford to move back if it doesn’t work out. Moving fees, too, are monstrous these days so you wouldn’t want to pay them twice.

My in laws moved from Sussex to a village up north to go from a semi to a huge bungalow. It was a disaster. They never fitted in and, when they had a chance to return south they missed it because they were fearful of moving all their accumulated possessions.

My DH and I live in what looks like a village surrounded by trees and fields. However we have a post office/shop, have (albeit infrequent) buses and are on the doorstep of some large towns. We can hear distant traffic most of the time and nearby Heathrow planes can be heard outside in the summer. We drive everywhere and have shopping delivered. The upside is that the area seems very rural and we can go for country walks and look at green all the time.

What about a large village in the north, or a small and pretty town with amenities? Try to get the best of all worlds if you move. Or stay put and learn to love the south despite its madding crowds.

I'm 61 and DH is 68. We own a farm in the middle of the countryside which we now rent out but we still live in the farmhouse. At the moment, when we can both still drive, it's easy to get to our county town about half an hour's drive away and we do have a few shops & the doctors closer. However, the country lanes are narrow & very busy these days, plus likely to flood or fill with snow in the winter. We are now considering the exact opposite to OP - a move right into town where we can walk to everything and use public transport. We don't need the huge garden we have here - I too am shocked by older people on Escape to the Country buying huge houses with massive gardens. We're not ready for a flat or a warden controlled dwelling but we'd definitely downsize both our house & garden. I can't imagine a townsperson looking to move to the country after having all facilities on tap. On a flippant note, I'd like to be able to keep my car mud free - some chance in the country!