I can’t declutter!

I know I’ve banged on a bit, but I did find Marie Kondo’s book an enormous help when I was faced with downsizing from a big 4 bed house to a two bed apartment. As well as practical advice, she is helpful in tackling the emotional aspect of decluttering, which I think is what is holding you back. I now find it quite easy to keep on top of my possessions.

Just before Christmas there was a decluttering thread on the go.

Do you think it would help to have another started?

Well, it might help mrsmopp.

This year i decided that at my age I should be able to keep my dressing table clear and stop dumping everything on it. I have to move at least one item off it every day (and dispose of it appropriately, not just dump it somewhere else). It can be anything, even a bit of paper or a bus ticket. So far I have kept going and it looked better very quickly. However it is now well into February and I still haven't finished, so you can see how bad it was...

I think if I use the same process for other piles of rubbish assorted stuff it will only take me about 17 million years to declutter fully, so that's good.

I'm not a hoarder as such. Nothing like the case studies/extreme clean programmes on TV! My life has gone from 8 bedrooms/five bathroom family home to a 3 bed end of terrace. The drawback is, my attic is boarded so I have lovely things stashed up there quite easily in stout boxes. Everytime I try to dispose of stuff, Royal Doulton dinner service, sterling silver items, Lladro, enamel boxes and other big house stuff, the memories of acquiring these lovely things comes back to me and I can't quite let them go. However, I have made a small start and actually it does get easier the more one does it. I've found that once I've handed an item to charity I hardly think of it again. Small steps OP and hopefully like me, it'll get easier for you to declutter. I can't be bothered with advertising to sell things so off it goes to my favourite charity shop(s). Have courage. You can't take it with you so why leave it for family to dispose of, but I know how you feel!

Sorry Misadventure, I did look at all the thread titles in House and home but the decluttering one has obviously fallen off the page. Lots of topics do recur on here quite regularly.
I have similar treasures as you Nonogran and it’s hard to think of trying to sell them, online or otherwise. I’m sure my sons will just take the lot to the tip when I pop my clogs.

The thought of giving things away / chucking them in the bin, is always much worse than the reality.

Start with something small - be brave and get rid of it in any way that seems appropriate. After a week - ask yourself if you are missing it at all, crying over it etc etc. It's just "stuff". It really isn't important. You still have the same memories.

We had a major house fire three years ago and my husband and I lost everything apart from our clothes and the contents of the kitchen cupboards. My adult son who lives with us just had the clothes he stood up in and his car.

We had to itemise everything that had been in every room in the house and garden sheds for the insurance company, and submit receipts when we replaced stuff.
It really focused my mind about what we actually needed to buy to be happy: comfy beds, cosy bedding, wardrobes. Nice towels. Comfortable sofas, a nice dining table and chairs. Curtains. The usual large kitchen appliances.
Anything else really doesn't matter.

The things that it upset me to lose I can't replace anyway: my wedding dress, the christening gown my grandma made for me 60 years ago that me, my brother and sister, and my three children all wore, the shawl my Mum crocheted for me as a teenager that I used on my bed, the Christmas decorations we'd collected as a family over the years or that my children had made at school.

When the firemen finally put the fire out, the only thing they asked us was have you all got your phones and a charger.

I'll make another thread.
Perhaps we can encourage each other.

I like Wheniwasyourage’s idea. Might start tomorrow!

One idea is to take a photo of things you don’t want to get rid of, but can’t keep. I have a glass display cabinet ( bought from a shop that was closing down) in my otherwise uncluttered, but not minimalist, home. My “best” glassware and vases, which are used frequently, are at the top, but on the bottom shelves are are all the little gifts my children have made for me or given to me, as well as things my mother in law gave me. They are corralled together, so I still have them, but they will be easy to dispose of once I die. Decluttering doesn’t mean living with no memories!

Count me in, if we are having a declutter thread. I took four binbags of clothes to charity last week, and that just scratched the surface.

I really need to clear out 'things' from every room, or it will be a nightmare for my children when the time comes and they have to sort through it all (or not, as the case may be). I would rather they had a few things to deal with, so they could decide whether or not to keep them, rather than so much clutter that they will just put it all in a skip or get a house clearance company in.

When I get on top of it, I want to start a 'one in, one out' policy, so that I keep on top of it all and I don't just expand to fill the newly available space.

I'm very minimalist these days. I don't think of it as losing things but as gaining extra space. Rooms look much calmer with less in them - and there's less cleaning and dusting to do!

That is my dream, Hetty. It will take a while to get there, but if I do it a step at a time it should be possible.

I'm a declutterer. Start small. Look in one cupboard. Split into two groups. Things you use. Things you haven't used for at least a year. Now look at the 'haven't used' group. Is it likely that you will use the item in the next year....not maybe or perhaps it will be useful but is it likely. If not grit your teeth and throw it out or take it to a charity shop.

When done pat yourself on the back, make a cuppa and recover from the shock of throwing/giving things away. Repeat a few days later. Eventually you'll relax about getting rid of things and before you know it you'll be a declutterer.

Well I did my spices yesterday. There's some fairly aged jars in there

Vampirequeen is right, start small, looking at the whole house is too off putting. Start with one drawer or one cupboard shelf and reward yourself when its done. Good luck.

Yes, I'll have to have a blitz sooner rather than later as I think of my poor D having to wade through everything and it won't be fair on her. I don't know where the dickens it's all come from !
Downsizing and never getting around to sorting before I came here in 2006 has been the problem and the older you get you can't be bothered but I'm going to have to make an effort.

My teenage twin GGC will be popping in next week on half term, so I think I'll get them cracking----it's in their interests what to throw or not !

I was brought up to believe, keep that you might need it, lol unfortunately I think I went a bit overboard, I would love to be minimalistic, I’m working on it, Slowly........

Thanks for the reminder Daisymae. They don't keep forever. I have plans to recycle the jars and dump the contents in the corner of my garden that next door's cat uses as a loo!

I'm all for using a reward system e. g. sort a cupboard and drawer - followed by a nice bar of chocolate! Overthinking doesn't help.

I found a mandolin that I've only used a few times for apple rings, vegetable crisps etc. and very sharp/dangerous - gone!

Maybe allow youself to throw out/give to charity/freecycle one thing a week. Once you realise that it hasn't badly affected you, by doing that, you might be able to get rid of more things in one go.

Small targets might work better for you than a lot at one go.

With help from my DGD I have just reorganised my bedroom, decluttering as I went! A bit more to go to charity shop from the wardrobes but they are not too bad.
Last week I sorted out the dining room and ended up washing and ironing 6 large white damask tablecloths which are now up for grabs if family want them (or to charity shop).
Kitchen and spare bedroom are ok.
Next is to tackle the accumulation of kids' toys and persuade the AC to remove the last of their possessions.

Last week I suddenly got the urge (unusual for me) to declutter my makeup and smellies. They were stored in at least 4 different places around the house. I went through all the opened and hardly used body lotions/hand creams etc. These were mainly gift sets of stuff that wasn't my favourite. So they have all gone in the bin. Family know not to buy me more.

Most of the make up has gone too, including some nice eye palettes. I never use them now as have dry eye problem. Plus all the holiday size samples, apart from a few useful bottles I can refill. That's if I ever go away again.

I still think what a waste, but now I just have the items I want, stored in see through plastic boxes in a bedroom cupboard.

That is a start but just a drop in the ocean. I have so many clothes that I am too fat for. I think I will get the whole lot out, that will almost fill a bedroom. I may allow myself to keep 10 items if I love them, and donate the rest. I need to be in the mood to start this next step, so will hope for inspiration from reading your posts.

Going off thread slightly. Just read seacliff’s post, she said how she had outed gift sets of stuff she wasn’t keen on.
Come Christmas or whenever, when we all receive presents of stuff we don’t want or like, so much better to agree a no gifts policy maybe, and avoid all these unwanted items in the first place.