Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 4

Hello everyone, thanks so much for your comforting words, I am so glad I can talk to you openly. Thank you Whiff, I will have a closer look at your area, it is just a fear of the great unknown. Being a southerner always holidaying on the south coast, anything north of the Watford gap was a mystery to me. Going to Manchester to see my MIL was like going to the moon. I'm going to stop looking until I've finished packing the house, once everything is here I can relax more.

The acquaintance I spoke to yesterday moved to the village a few years after us, and we were only friends for a short time as I disliked her behaviour and it made it awkward for me to be natural with her. I started refusing her invitations when I realised she was leaving her eleven year old daughter at home to babysit her three younger siblings, and then the straw that broke the camel's back came when she drove home after a barbecue party we attended, very drunk, with all of her children in the car. According to others this was a common occurence, I was horrified. I hadn't really seen her for years and couldn't believe it when she turned up at the house just after my husband died, to help me 'clear his stuff'. When we were friends I had given her several things she'd admired - so obvious she was hoping a few nice things would be going home with her! Isolation has addled my brain, I shouldn't have spoken to her at all!

I do hope your shoulder eases up craftyone. My knee is still twingeing today after turning badly on the stairs. So glad I have the sledges, going back up to the house for ten more boxes once I've watched all these jolly singers on tv. Then back to rearrange the garage to make the very best of the space, I need to make sure I can get to the lawnmower and must do the grass soon. I did give one of the garden buddha heads to the neighbour, one I can hardly lift on my own. I've exchanged it for a weekend of cat sitting so I can go exploring in the future .

Happy Easter everyone.

I'm guessing most holiday home owners will be wanting to encourage customers to come later in the year. It will be a huge dent in their income to lose bookings totally. I've been watching Escape to the Chateau DIY and when I hear them saying they will be up and running for the season, I give a little shudder. We ran a similar set up in France and worked 12 hour days but our income was only over 6 months. Any profit we ploughed back into the 15th century property and the expansive grounds so I fully get what you are saying Shandy. It was a relief for us to move on, but you mustn't look back at your time in the station with regret or bitterness. There will be a day when you remember it fondly.
My advice for what it's worth would be to move away totally. Only then can you really pick up and get a fresh perspective on life. They say a change us as good as a rest and we left rural France for East London and loved every minute.

Shandy, take no notice of that lady you spoke to. Sounds to me as if she is just jealous that you have sold and she has not even after so long - and now has let it go into this time of even more uncertainty. So, she just sort of made such a comment to hide her own feelings of worry.
We had the zoom meeting, my five children,their husbands and wives and eight gchildren and Me. Must admit that when first saw them all, I started to cry......But it was great, we were on there for over an hour. We are going to try to do it weekly now. Technology is definitely wonderful.

Farnbern what an unpleasant episode
with Booking.com. We had a similar experience, not with booking.com but a private let. We were due to take a house in Dorset at the end of March to celebrate my birthday -one of those with a zero- and there would have been 15 of us so a large holiday let and the owner told my daughter who’d done the organising that we couldn’t have our money back because if she had to return everyone’s money she would go out of business. My daughter pointed out that her husband, being an opera singer had already lost all his work for the foreseeable future. She read the small print and we did get our money back so worth persevering - is there a clause that says in the event of them not being able to fulfill the booking?

actually shandy, don`t discount those places that whiff listed. That area is one of the friendliest helpful areas in the uk and there are beaches. I am from that area and can vouch for the warm hearted people who live there. Everywhere is handy, trains, buses, there are lots of walks. I lived in liverpool until I got married, we went to southport and ainsdale to the beaches. I went to newcastle for 3 years and explored all around there. It was very easy to slot into the NE as it would be to go NE to that opposite area. The people are similar although the accents are very different

I believe I have worked out the cause of my aching r shoulder and upper arm. The muscle that is at the top of the shoulder blade, there is a tunnel space below in which the joint moves, swelling causes the pain and the muscles get very tight in that area, Result is not being able to lift hand up high and certainly not high enough behind the back. Stretching is needed, cause was lifting and forward posture, sigh, all too easy to slump. Just pulling shoulder blades together backwards is a good starting stretch and there are other stretches with bands and my teeter

I never went on that long ride, just a short one. I have been baking

Shandy my post crossed yours, seems so trite. Ignore such women, isn’t the saying.. Walk a mile in my shoes? We all have an inkling of your worries but only you know how hard it has been. Your new home will be yours and it will be the start of your new life. Have a lovely walk and may the sea breezes galvanise you!

Shandy57 take no notice of people like that . You did it the right thing. You need to think of yourself. It took a lot of courage to cope with that house on your own after your husband died. We on here understand how hard it has been. We all have had our own horror stories to tell as well. Your new home is something for you alone plus the dog and cat of course. You choose what you want. It doesn't need to be big 2 bedded would be ideal for you with a bit of garden. Gas central heating and double glazing. Access to doctors, shops etc. Just think of all the fun you will have choosing colour schemes etc.

Only realised today this is my first home where I can have exactly what I want in the garden without considering anyone elses views.

You enjoy your day and don't over do it.

Happy Easter everyone. The robins that were using my feeders have gone elsewhere, no idea where but I am missing them! Enjoy your bike ride Crafty, will walk my dog shortly...lately she tells me which way we are going and if it’s a short walk or long! I think she is getting old.

Morning all, overcast and a bit rainy today.

Happy Easter!

Thank you very much for suggesting places to look for my 'forever home'. I'm feeling fed up at the moment, it's so nice to have you here to speak to. I'm finding it hard making decisions, I have to unpack books in the cottage and can't decide where to put them, it's ridiculous. I must get my practical side and positivity back in gear.

I made the mistake yesterday of telling an acquaintance from the past the low price I accepted for the house and she gave me a pitying look and said 'he got a bargain'. I felt I had to justify it by explaining surveys stated at least £200K needed to be spent on the renovations, and he will have to spend a lot of money immediately, the roof and window repairs are now very urgent. Saying it to her made me realise others won't understand the fear I felt living there on my own, they won't understand the anxiety I felt at things possibly breaking and costing thousands, or the frustration of getting quotes etc and never hearing back from tradesmen. Or having tradesmen that overcharged because they thought I was minted, as they say. I paid one builder £250 to fix my cast iron gutter and clear the hopper - it still leaks. £500 to repoint a chimney, they used ordinary cement instead of lime and mortar, it needs repointing again. Everything was so costly, the house is a money pit.
Even when I go back to pack and the heating comes on I feel anxious, the radiators make such awful noises and are definitely on their last legs - plus the boiler is now 20 years old. I was quoted £8K for a new boiler alone as new pipework was needed. I won't be telling anyone else. I only told her because she's had her house on the market for three years, it's beautiful, apparently her feedback is 'it's too big'. She is selling to give her ex husband his share, and said she's not concerned it hasn't sold yet.

Franbern, I am very sorry about your experience with Booking.com - glad you paid on your credit card and it is protected.

Off to the beach, then back to unpack the books, perfect size craftyone. I used the plastic sledge to slide two boxes down the front steps at a time - if I put any weight on my knee it twinges.

Enjoy your day

Franbern I hope you manage to get your Zoom meeting up and running - it’s such a brilliant resource - we’ve been using it for the last three weeks for family get togethers, all the cousins can have a chat and reconnect, not the same a physical contact but better than nothing. Yesterday we joined an online Easter Vigil service from the parish of some friends in Norfolk and DH was able to read one of the lessons so really involved. We will join them once again this morning for their celebration. Does enable one to feel connected.

Happy Easter everyone! So strange with no children on the annex and none visiting - must be the first time ever for us to be child free - we will Zoom with everyone later this morning. Instead of organising an eater egg hunt I’ve occupied my time creating a sour dough starter and my first loaf is underway - not sure how it will turn out, but as yeast is in short supply I thought it worth trying this way. I did make hot x buns for Good Friday and was exceedingly pleased with them I’ve only made them once before and had they been dropped they would have shattered so solid were they!
Earlier on I saw a green finch in the garden - haven’t seen one of those for ages, then the other day the nuthatches returned after a very long absence maybe they couldn’t cope with noisy boys playing football endlessly - the young fruit trees are also very happy not being used as unintentional targets! We do miss them all dreadfully though. There is now a virtual tour of the house on line and according the the EAs theory there will be hordes of people queuing to come and view once it’s open season in the housing market again!
Well that was a long ramble. Enjoy the sun those who have it today and hopefully spoil yourselves with a bit of chocolate!

My daughter and family haven't got a back garden they live in a large terraced. Have a paved yard with flower board and pots. But 5 mins walk away down a hidden path is a lovely big park. They go to everyday. Also the sea is within 30-40 mins walking distance. After a run along the beach and sand dunes my grandson soon falls asleep on the buggy ride home. My son and family have a large flat garden. They spent all last year clearing it as it was a jungle. Large lawn, borders and fenced off veg patch to stop the dogs getting in. They have a couple of large parks near by. There is a large park near near me 15 mins away at my speed. I went a week ago . But it's safer for me to stay here but I have got the gardens front and back. Get working in them again next week.

If people go out and keep their distance I don't see why they can't. But we have all seen the pictures of people who are unrelated grouping together. There was a gang of boys at a skate park for one.

Can't remember where it was be 2 men went into a supermarket and licked their hands and put them all over packets off meat and somewhere else 2 women spat at the police. What is the world coming to when people act like this.

Luckily the majority are obeying the rules but as usual it's the minority which get all the headlines. And make things harder for everyone else.

I am fuming at present. My plans for Easter was to go to Eastbourne to visit two children and 3 g.children. As I prefer not to stay with my children I booked a nice B&B there for Sunday (tonight). On 20th March, I contacted them to say it was obvious I was cancelling as lockdown had just been brought in. They replied, very pleasantly - and I said I hoped I would be able to meet them (the owners) later in the year.
So, yesterday I was astonished when I saw that my credit card company had the amount of that l B&B deducted by Booking,com.
Contacted them immediately pointing out that I had cancelled three weeks ago and, in anycase, it was obvious I would not be travelling hundreds of miles at present. In anycase that B&B has now turned over to being used exclusively for local NHS staff.
Whoever is replying to emails at Booking.com has obviously got much to much time on their hands. They reply to my emails immediately - but insist that as I did not cancel via them they will be charging me.
I have told my credit card company to stop this payment - and have sent copies of my emails cancelling to booking.com but whoever it is still says as I did not cancel with them, they will go ahead with wanting this money.
Now it is not an enormous amount - and, in any case, it will be stopped by my credit card company - but I am just so angry that they are acting like this.
Have asked for this matter to be referred to a Manager - and I will never, ever again use Booking.com for anything.
Oh, well, at least it gives me something to do at present.....
at 11.00 this morning, I am - hopefully - joining in with a Zoom meet-up with all my five children. Never used Zoom before, do hope it all works okay.
Craftyone - I have said right from Day 1 of the lockdown, that I have very serious concerns for the mental health of so many - particularly the children and young people - and all those crammed together in small flats or rooms without even the facilities to have any time on their own at all, let alone outside space. Parks in high density population areas should have special times during the day when they are open just to such families to walk through and even be permitted to sit around for about 15 minutes.

Happy Easter everyone

Is it me but I cannot see anything wrong with a small family or couple or a single, walking or cycling to a nice `isolated` space and sunbathing or having a little picnic on the grass or the beach. The police really need to be careful who they are moving on and how. Mental health seems to have been forgotten about and many don`t have a garden. My EA niece, her very large house and huge garden in a village was bought very quickly just before lockdown and a family from london moved in, permanent I think. That family now has room for their children to run. We have to think of the people stuck in terraced with back yards and flats with no outside space. Money talks, that house was over a million and paid for by bank transfer. The poor have no options, except those that are free

I was up early again and have a nice carrot and lentil soup simmering on the hob, it is tasty with cumin and chilli flakes, will do me for several days. Also leeks and wild garlic chopped and sauteing for side dishes or risottos or ? Veg box first world problems

I put a bike battery on charge early on, it was 3/5 full but I don`t get satisfaction from just trundling locally on my manual bike, I am aiming to go much further today, beautiful small lanes past many orchards. I have to take water and a bar of something, I would normally stop in an organic cafe for lunch. Probably leave about 11 when it is not so bright

A month under my belt and 6 weeks or so to go, hopefully

Shandy57 forgot Southport. Also it's all flat round here. Seemed strange at first as I was used to steep hills.

Happy Easter everyone. Even though it doesn't feel like it. My daughter got a bit of shopping for me yesterday. I usually do a slow roast shoulder of lamb and all the trimmings for Easter. This year just a piece of rump steak. It's only for me this year. Glad this isn't happening at Christmas time. That would be awful.

Did all the housework yesterday. Today I must crack on and finish making the boys Easter presents. Taken me longer than usual to get all the cross stitch done. What with being ill and doing the garden I've got behind. Making up the cushions won't take long. Just making sure to cut the fabric straight. How I need my husband for that being a draughtsman everything was always perfect job wish. Hap haze in private life. That's a thought . Is or was any of your husband's the same?

Have a good day everyone.

Shandy57 there are nice places near me. Lots of variety of housing. My road is all bungalows but the rest of the area is a mix of houses and bungalows. Lovely people , weather more wet and windy in the winter very little snow . Cost of living is cheaper than where I lived in the Midlands. Crosby, Formby, Blundellsands, Hightown and Woolton are all good areas. Get a free bus and local train pass at 60. Good beaches and parks near all those areas. Taxis are cheaper. Plenty of things to join. Have a look you will be surprised. That cake sounds lovely you deserve a treat.

Enjoy the cake Shandy.....we need to take our enjoyment wherever these days.
I have had Radio 4 on (Any Questions and Any Answers), and sat on the balcony, had an ice cream, and sunbathed - 30 minutes is quite enough. Back indoors now. Surprised that the Cygnes Report from 2016 on Panademics was not mentioned by any of the panel.
Think we are being told that this hot sunny weather is only
going to last today and tomorrow and then it will get cooler.
Shandy, I am surprised that you are looking further north for your new property - you have so often commented how much you miss the warmer weather down south. Lots and Lots of seaside places for you to look for property, many of them are just off Motorways, either have a railway station or be close to a slightly larger neighbour that has one, and lots of airports in the cities. Although, I think we should accept that plane journeys are likely to be far less in the future than has been in the past. North Somerset council only a few months ago blocked the extension to Bristol airport, think they have now been proven so justified.
Suffolk, Norfolk, Kent, East Sussex, all have lovely seaside areas, choose carefully and not are all too expensive.. The South West offers a plethora of such places. Best weather in the UK in Somerset, Devon, Cornwall. it is where those of us there now are, so much, enjoying this sunny weather at present.

I have a Daughter in Portobello , she loves the nearness of the beach , and her sis ter is in Lieth with the Links in front of her , both love where they are

Thanks Grammaretto, I'm going to look at Leith instead. I'd like to live somewhere surburban within easy reach of town, I do like trees and my garden birds. I don't like the name of the new builds - 'Fishwives' something.

I've just popped in to say my daughter and I are regulars at the village dog friendly cafe. One woman makes the majority of the cakes, and I bought a whole coffee cake for my daughter last January. Since then the cafe have started using another person to make the coffee one, not as nice. I bumped into her over Christmas and said I'd order one from her direct for my birthday. Guess what! She's just knocked and given me one for free! I've just had a huge piece, delicious! Lucky lucky me!

no Franbern, of course not, I will go back to crafting classes and will see my family and go for car rides and take the steam train to minehead

I love the uk and the scenery, the humour and the weather. My aus sisters know that the siblings who are in the uk love it, the unique and special camaraderie especially when the chips are down. I never say to them how I would hate to live where there is so much burning and such a hot sun and where the land is being expoited, to send coal to china, which will pollute this whole earth once again. Last time I saw my sister was last summer and her skin is so wrinkled now whereas mine is smooth, the UV obviously. Unseen damage. Sorry Sue, no doubt you love your homeland. My parents asked me at 15 if we should all emigrate, £10 poms, I said no and those of us in the uk are very glad

Sweden will be an interesting study, they have no lockdown at all

Craftyone - are you really willing to stay in your own lockdown for the next 12-18 months , until that vaccine is available? I am not - so, even though old, am willing to take my chance well before that.
Had a long telephone chat with my lovely Sister-in-law this morning. Last thing she is thinking about is CV19, she has gone to Wales, to stay close to her oldest child - who is dying from liver cancer. We do not even know if he will live to his 51st birthday in early May. McMillan Nurse and District Nurse both go in daily (separately), and carry out necessary personal care. She has rented a flat in the same building as his, so she is on hand when he wants to see her.
Very sad, Back - all those years ago, she, myself and my other SiL in USA all had our families very close together. So the first three g.children for my MiL (two boys and a girl) were born six months apart within a year of each other. The the next round all three of us had girls well under a year of each other. Sadly, the American one died a few years back. Then we had our third pregnancies - again so very close, within less than six months of each other. The other two stopped, I went on to a fourth pregnancy which were twins. Then less than two years later my family were joined by our youngest who died aged 25 yrs old. So, it will mean that all three of us will have had to contend with the death of an adult child.
Of course, even in normal times - deaths from cancers in the UK run at just under five hundred every day of the year year on year.
I was awake at 3 am this morning, and suddenly realised gthat when I had come back from my jaunt down to the beach I had forgotten to put my scooter on charge. Have been down to garage this morning and sorted that out.
Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel for lunch (Mmm.. treating myself for this Spring Fest), will be egg salad for my evening meal.

We have had many more deaths in Scotland which has the same population as NZ SueH49 also, something never mentioned, NZ has had far more recoveries from the virus than Britain.
What is a fact is that the UK was very slow off the mark and lost weeks of time and very little tracing of contacts as well as that herd immunity rubbish they, the government, were peddling.

Many outdoor events went ahead including the Cheltenham festival because not only had Boris attended an international Rugby match days before, but there was medical advice from the chief medical officer of Scotland, Catherine Calderwood, who had previously said: "There is actually very little impact on virus spread from mass gatherings, particularly if they are in the open air."
Hmm and what became of her....

I used to live in Portobello, Shandy and know it quite well. It isn't particularly cheap and you wouldn't want that house on the main road! There are some lovely parts of Edinburgh which may not be so trendy but would be agreeable to live in.

Grammeratto NZ can be proud of only having one death. They have obviously done a good job to date but remember their population is under 5 million. As with Australia it will be interesting to see what happens over our winter.

Morning all, it's lovely to come on and read all your news. So glad you got a slot Whiff, it must be a relief. I thought I'd bought some Mars icecreams, disappointed when I went to the freezer. I'll look forward to them next week.

I couldn't sleep last night, I had stayed up late looking at houses, it made me realise how very alone I am and how my life is whatever I make it, it is so important I make the right decision on where to live. I found a bungalow in Portobello in Edinburgh, but it seems to be facing a very busy main road, and next to a business with metal gates. I have to accept I'll never live anywhere as attractive as the station. Within walking distance of the beach/shops/bus stop/vets. I am used to the greenery and silence here, not sure about so much concrete and traffic noise and pollution, also lots of building work going on up the road. I do like the community feel of it. I will have to go and have a look when lockdown is lifted. I would also like being near to the airport, it's an easy bus ride.

The second thing that upset me was about my Dad. I think most of you know that I am estranged from my brother and SIL, and I only exchange Christmas and birthday cards with my Dad. He moved a few doors away from my brother and his wife last year and I didn't receive a Christmas card. I now realise I had to ask my aunt for his address last August, he hadn't given it to me himself. I woke up in the night because I suddenly realised I hadn't got a birthday card from him. So contact seems to be over. My SIL does his cleaning, I shouldn't really be too surprised.

Off to the beach with my dog, then up to the station to collect eight boxes of books to bring here. I'm going to have to unpack them and reuse the boxes. I am glad to be able to do it in small chunks.

Have a good day whatever you are doing