Gwenisgreat - I can sympathise with you on this. Back in the 1970's I had three very young children. My next door neightbour gave birth to her first child. She had been in a very high-flying job prior to that.
She struggled with this baby - and one day, the visiting Health Visitor suggested to her that she should visit me more often (we did have occasional cups of coffee together), to see how much more relaxed she could be.
Sort of backhanded compliment it turned out, The HV was concerned that the house of this new mum was always totally spotless, and she was still doing so much baking, bottling, etc. Wanted her to see my messy house.