Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

Oopsadaisy4 didn't mean to upset you. But as you said yourself you have lived in that house for 40 years and by the sounds of it in a lovely part of the country. Perhaps things in your home are getting you down. I know a lot of people stuck at home have had work done. Because being at home all the time you notice things that normally wouldn't bother you like a room needing re decorating or new carpet. I know my brother and sister in law have had redecorating and new carpeting even new suite in the living room. My sister in law says it feels like a new house .

Moving house was a must for me as I rattled round my old house and needed to be nearer my children. No one was dependent on me anymore in the Midlands. Even though my son decided in May he never wants anything more to do with me. I still do not what I am supposed to have done that makes him call me vindictive and manipulative. As he hasn't spoken to me since my birthday end of April. They had a new son he was due in July I don't know his name or even his date if birth.

I have my daughter, son in law and grandson who love and want me. We are eachother's bubble. I don't regret moving at all. I love my new home and new life.

Franbern, I would have asked for a quotation, not an estimate, unless of course you will be asking for a quotation in the future. A quotation is a fixed price, an estimate is just a rough idea and can go up as well as down, unlikely to go down

oopsadaisy - of course you need somewhere to make your complaints. It is very well to say 'Count your blessings', but sometimes a really good moan is very good for us.

Sorry to learn, Ellianne how young you were when your parents died. My Mum, the oldest of her siblings, died when I was 43 yrs old. She had lived to see, and be remembered by my children. All her four sisters lived for very much longer, and I really resented that fact. Knew I was being daft, but could not help my feelings.

As I have said previously, it is sad, but lovely, that some people who have been widowed have such wonderful memories of the OH. For me - with my ex still alive, I do not have any of those.
Whether or not the marriage might have managed to keep going if hubbie had not had such personality change when he became disabled with MS - I will never know. Probably!! I see so many people still with OH's because it is easier than breaking up. Personally, although there was so much trauma during the earlier years of break up, I think I now have a much calmer, happier life. AND......I have only myself to consider in anything I choose to do.

Shandy could be that your solicitor has been away for half-term, so should be back next week. Even with a new lockdown, cannot see why paperwork of any sort should be delayed. Do hope our dog is feeling better. All you can do, at present, is to carry on sorting out and de-cluttering AND do start to think about your re-furnishing. I so often find that the planning of large changes are even more fun than actually having it carried out.
I have not yet received the estimate for my floor. I expected it by email, but they may be sending it by normal post.

Horrible wet and blowy day here, will stay in today. Have to get to grips with my on-line council form for a replacement Blue Badge as mine runs out in January.

Morning all, surprisingly windy this morning, washing is wild out there!

Saturday again, where is the time going. I've just popped in to say I think my solicitor is away, the car hasn't been there for two days now. With this new talk of lockdown I'm just going to see what happens. I've got horrible jaw pain this morning, looks like I'm back to grinding my teeth in the night again.

Off to the beach in a minute, tide is out early again. My life is dominated by the tides whilst I have my dog. My cheap Aldi wellies are already leaking time to get the heavy Aigle's back out!

Enjoy your day

Whiff I am thankful, but I don’t complain about posters moaning about their Parents when I don’t have mine any more do I?
As I said, I sound ungrateful but it has nothing to do with having a husband or not. My DD2 lives locally now and she is another reason that I can’t move away.
I can’t complain to them as it will make them feel guilty, so I thought I would say it on here, apparently not though.

I'm sure oopsadaisy didn't mean to upset anyone else by opening up about her regrets on moving away from "home". At least on this thread different moans can be aired without judgment.
I lost my mother when young before my children were born, some of my friends still have their mothers now nearly 40 years more than I did. I have never once thought they shouldn't sometimes have a good moan about things. Everyone needs an outlet.
I wonder if all those house moves about to happen will be delayed. Will removals still happen? Keep up the pressure Shandy.

Oopsadaisy4 this may sound harsh but be thankful you still have your husband. You must still love eachother very much as you have been together a long time. I would live in a hovel in the middle of no where if I could have my husband back fit and healthy. But I can't. So don't moan about your home when you have so much more.

Oopsadaisy4 that is a lovely part of the country no wonder you love it. There is something special about being near the coast and able to pop down to the sea and beach easily when the desire takes us. Many beaches near me luckily, I don't think I could live inland.

We shouldn't wish our lives away but count down the weeks until you can meet up with everyone you care about outside again. And being able to use the loo of course being an essential part of the visit. Throughout lockdown I have had to plan and time my walks carefully so the walk is a comfortable one!

Bluebird home is a small town near to the New Forest and of course the beaches on the South Coast.
My family have all gone, but DHs siblings are still there, but self isolating due to serious Health Issues, even our nieces have autoimmune problems, so if we go to visit we sit in the garden, not easy now it’s Winter and I can’t use the loo!

DH has no regrets moving up here, it’s just me, I’m obviously an ungrateful bat and should count my blessings.........

Just spent a pleasant and extremely interesting couple of hours, just round the corner at the WsM museum. Lovely photographic exhibition of Somerset during Lockdown - made me feel quite choked as it brought back some recent memories. Also, wonderful slides of WsM in the past - 19th and 20th Century.
Few people in there, very safe and an excellent way of spending a wet, dismal afternoon.
bluebirdwsm I have sent you a pm, so good to hear from someone else where I live.
Ellianne, do not think there is any specific reason for the increase in positive tests. Surely, it was expected, particularly as autumn/winter weather came in. Lockdown pushed the virus back, but it did not go away.

Obviously, a very large number of tests being carried out now. Interesting if you listened to Radio 4 'More or Less', where maths were used to compare the numbers earlier in the year, with the percentages now of number testing positive with such increased numbers being tested, making it all sound for less frightening than just reporting numbers may make it.
Numbers can be used in many ways - at present they are there to frighten us again.

Hello Ellianne, Bristol cases have risen in the past week and on the verge of being critical. Same in Bath which is North East Somerset. Both have universities of course.

North Somerset has had an 83% rise in cases in the last week. So things are looking more concerning for the South West which has been very lucky so far. I am certainly going to be very cautious now, although I have been quite isolated since March anyway. Everyone I know has been sensible and restricting socialising/contact with others as much as possible.

Stay safe everyone, a lot is going on all over the UK.

Yes, it's a relief not to face the upheaval of moving. This place is a bit big for me but really only one room I never use, and the garden needs a lot of tending but I love doing it when in the mood. I have one son's family very near and the other sons family about 15 miles away so easy to keep in touch. I am very lucky I know. Managed to see the 4 GC's in their gardens/recreation ground through the summer.

bluebirdwsm nice to hear your comments and how happy you are in your home and its locality. Why uproot yourself when everything you have works for your needs. Sounds as though you have family close by too.
Just as an aside, what is the news about the rise in cases in Somerset? If it is to do with the universities in Bath or Bristol, then that is understandable. Stay safe all.

Oopsadaisy4 That sounds difficult for you and in Covid times it isn't easy at all. 40 years is a long time. I've lived in Bristol, then moved to places in North Somerset so not travelled very far. I moved away from Bristol in 1972 to bring our family up somewhere greener and with less traffic/fumes. I haven't looked back, I would never live there now, although a couple of parts would be ok.

Where is 'home'? and will you be able to go there again if restrictions/covid allows? It's good you have a lovely house though and the garden too although of course we won't be able to enjoy our gardens for a few months now. I'm planning what to do in mine come the spring/summer though as I love gardening.

Bluebird you are right it isn’t good to live somewhere you don’t want to be.

I’ve lived in Oxfordshire for over 40 years on the promise that we would move back ‘home’ upon retirement.
That isn’t likely to happen now and it’s very hard to accept that I will probably be here for ever.
Most days I can’t even bring myself to go out of the house and garden as I have zero interest in where I live. Since lockdown it’s been pretty awful,( even though I know I’m very lucky to live in the countryside, ) as we used to get home every 4 weeks or so.
(Although the house itself is lovely)
Obviously I’m a grass is greener on the other side person!

I'm 71, so this will be the last place I live in [independently] probably.

I have been following this thread for a while as I've wanted to downsize and have been viewing properties. I've moved a lot without much bother and always been keen to move on to the new place but this time has been different.

I have not been able to find anything which is 'right'. Always finding a deal breaker somewhere, yet I'm not that hard to please really and have an open mind. Reluctant though to let go of my drive, large garage, private garden and very convenient location. I did this place up [bungalow] inside and out over 9 years ago and fell in love with it as soon as I walked in.

I have not had the same feeling anywhere, so I've fallen in love with this home all over again and am staying for the foreseeable future. Now glad to have made the decision after 2-3 years of mulling it over. So many places I saw needed loads of work/money spent, overlooked, on a hill/slope, problem neighbour, parking issue, miles from shops etc.'

So not much to contribute to the thread, but would like to say it's been lovely to read Franbern how much you appreciate living in Weston Super Mare. You sound happy to be here as I am. Moved here 25 years ago now and I love the place and this area of Somerset. It's a decent, interesting, convenient area to live in, with a good mix of young people, families and older people with plenty of affordable housing, amenities and things to do. Not so much now with the Covid issue going on but plenty of places to go. I know a lot who visit sneer at the mud when the tide is out. But we are on the Bristol Channel so to be expected. No place is perfect. I love where I live and think it must be difficult if one doesn't.

Franbern after my faux pas yesterday, I googled the need for buildings insurance on exchange.
It’s ‘just in case’ some home owners don’t have any Insurance and if you have just exchanged and it is, in theory, yours, and anything happened you would have to rebuild or repair, using your own money.
Although, as I said yesterday I don’t think an Insurance Company would rush to give you the money if something happened between exchange and completion.

When you change car Shandy make sure it is suitable for the dog! I think you have a ramp for your dog.

Until you have some sort of approximate completion date, (as well as all the building details), cannot see how you can get any sort of insurance quote.
Still do not understand why anyone HAS to have a building insurance in place. I can quite understand that people have this for their own peace of mind, but there is no law which says you have to have insurance on your home. Indeed, with an increasing number of properties these days becoming uninsurable (built on flood planes, etc), there are many people who are having to take that risk.
I know if you are getting a mortgage, then they would insist on insurance being in place upon completion (or even after exchange), but without that problem building insurance can be set up very quickly and easily at the very last minute and cannot understand who could be insisting on it for Shandy.
Funny about Saga insurance, - I have always spent a goodly time each year when my home/building and car insurances become due, in really shopping around - when I worked I even used to take a days leave for this purpose. So, every year I get quotes from saga, and never once have they been in any way competitive. Perhaps it was where I lived - I do not know, but they have never had my custom.

Many small cars do not have any tax to pay on these days, insurance however seems to be more dependant upon the age of the owner than on their driving record.

Morning all, my poor dog has a bad tummy again, was up at 3 am with him and again at 7 am There was a really high wind at 3 am, glad it's died down now.

Thanks Whiff, I might try Saga again, I insured my car with them a few years ago. As you say, moving to the rental has given me a practise run

Off to the beach in a minute but not looking forward to it, it's heaving with visitors up here.

Enjoy your day everyone

Shandy you do need insurance in place to start once you have exchanged contracts but the owner will still have theirs and can only cancel once they have completed. I had to have building insurance ready for exchange on the bungalow but they would only start the contents insurance once completion when through. Once exchange has gone through you need the building insurance because you are committed to going through with the sale. Once completion you need to contact your insurance company to start the contents insurance. It can be all set up ready when you take out the building as building and contents insurance is cheaper having them together. I found Saga was cheapest for me and it is fixed for 3 years.

Getting a smaller car makes sense as you don't need a big one. Cheaper to run. If you get one before your move you could tie in your car insurance with the insurance on the bungalow. You need to explain to them what you want to do. I found it easier to make notes while talking people.

You can find out the water provider and set it up to take over the payments but that's at completion . Also find out who is best value for gas and electricity and get that in place for completion. Also you need to contact the council to sort out council tax to start that on completion as well.

I found it easy to make a list of the things I needed to change my address on. You probably already still have your list from when you moved to the rental.

Shandy ignore me!
Things have obviously moved on since we moved here (23 years ago) although if the owners allow something to happen to the house after you have exchanged I don’t see that your Insurance company will pay out, anyway it is what it is.

Another way to get money out of you, having said that when we sold our flats a couple of years ago we exchangeD and completed on the same day, as did DD2 a while ago.

I think you could do with waiting until afterthe surveyors report shandy. The insurance will require construction details ie concrete or not and what is on the roof ie slate etc I think you may get a better price if you are able to be specific. I went via a local broker for the exchange insurance as they knew the area, I told them I needed buildings until completion and then would need contents too. After that year I did change to saga and got a very good quote

The risk in a property passes to the buyer on exchange

any property needs to be insured by the potential buyer from the day of exchange. Buildings not contents