Getting rid of ‘stuff’

We are doing the same, although we are unlikely to move for nearly a year. It amazes me how much rubbish gets accumulated, although I suppose we have been here 25 years. I don't think you can start early enough to be honest - the less strain there is around moving time the better. At least you have time to assess what you want to do with things - throw them, sell them, give them away. Do your family want any of it? Friends?

If you get rid of stuff before you move you don't have to pack it and you don't have to deal with it at the other end.

The emotional stuff is hard. I employed the trunk method. I had a travelling trunk left over from student days and put as much of my parents stuff in it as I could and shut the lid. A few weeks later I went back to it and found that there were a couple of things I could give away, that didn’t seem to have the same emotional value. I didn’t manage to empty the trunk before I moved but at least it was contained and bit by bit I reduced it all to just a box.

With my excess stuff, I did either\or. Instead of looking at 10 vases I just picked out two and said keep this one or this one. Somehow that was easier to decide and then I repeated a week later.

I thought I’d decluttered a lot but I was still horrified at how many boxes I needed when I moved?

Yes Amberone that’s what I thought - I feel like I’ve been doing it for a year ! It’s all the inherited / gift stuff I have a problem with - guilt ! I will ask family but they are all miles away. I’ve just take. 6 vases to the charity shop - feels great ! Don’t even buy cut flowers now ! We just have too much storage here so it’s easy, so it’s helpful to think ‘ do I really want to move this’ or ‘ would I actually pay to put this on storage ‘ . Or maybe - ‘if I didn’t buy it and I don’t positively love it why keep it ‘ Thanks of for your words

Good ideas Peasblossom Thankyou -‘ pick out what you like ‘ does sound easier ! I feel like I have spent 20 years whittling down all my dads photos, books, poems . He’s in my heart so I really don’t need any of it .

Wedding presents too! We still have a few after 40 years - kind of feel it’s a ‘bad omen’ to get rid !!

marymary62 our cupboards are still full but at least our rooms look emptier ? It's taken a year to get rid of stuff we really don't want or need, including dozens of bags to charity shops and trips to the tip and freebies on Freecycle.
Now like you we are faced with stuff we have either been given, or inherited or just bought as mementos of good times. I have found it gets easier, life is so much easier having places to put things away and not having to fight our way through all the clutter looking for things it sort of spurs you on a bit and helps you to see the things you can live without and the things you really do want to keep.

Peasblossom that does sound like a nice gentle way to declutter

I love getting rid of stuff.
When I was due to move from a three storey house to a flat I spent every Sunday decluttering taking things to the tip or charity shops. It made the move so much easier.

I still like to get rid of things I no longer like or use. Imagine any poor children having to sort through years worth of stuff when you die! I hate clutter such as ornaments, I have a few only and my flat is not remotely bare !

I found it very hard to declutter and still have a feeling of 'loss', I wish I'd photographed all the things I gave away/sold.

My rule is I have to really love it, or it has a practical value now. I'm still dithering over the chocolate fountain!

I've moved into a small bungalow and have kept quite a lot of bric a brac but only have the windowsills here, no mantel pieces, which I miss.

I'm not moving (as far as I know!) but I'm doing my best to offload 'stuff' on a weekly basis but, by golly, it is hard. I just don't want to make my departure from this mortal coil too difficult for my children. I cleared my lovely Mum's house and the experience still gives me nightmares and such sad memories. Have to confess that, after the initial shock of despatching an item, I have never regretted or needed that said item afterwards. They're heart comforts and not physical needs and actually excesses can be a pain. However, each to his own......

I can’t wait until my DH goes back to volunteering that’s when I empty cupboards bookcases etc of junk to the charity shop. It drives me mad if something isn’t broke he won’t get rid of it even though stuff is never used.

I emptied my mil house aunties and other uncles house it was hard work. I too want to make it easy for my family when the time comes they have busy lives.

I’m in the process of decluttering. My BIL has just passed away and it made me aware that decluttering is better than someone else going through my stuff when it’s my turn to die.

When I downsized two years ago I did a massive clear out. Four bedrooms and a garage going to two bedrooms and no garage. I gave my children the photos which were of them. I visited charity shops every week. I cleared a room at a time and took stuff to the dump and gave furniture away through the church. There are plenty of online places where you can get rid of things. My ruling was: if I hadn't used something for at least a year, I got rid of it. Obviously this was before the lock down! But that rule still holds for me. Good luck.

Yes you are right about family not having to do it ‘in the end’ - I worked as a palliative social worker and this was the hardest thing for people. There are always things left though. I’m keeping things I love or will use, trying not to store anything other than photos ( there’s another story - going to digitise and print the best of 200 of my dads slides from 10 years in India 1930 - 1940 ) . When we last moved I got rid of loads and never regretted a thing .

Thanks everyone - nice to hear experiences . It takes me ages to decide about something - but if that is true it probably means I should get rid of it ! I hung on to something of my mums that I actually hated but she loved it and I felt bad about getting rid of it! My girls would not be so sentimental!

I’m mid De cluttering at moment, not moving, just decided it’s time to let go of some stuff.
I’ve transferred everything I don’t need into the spare bedroom drawers, that way it looks like a load of old junk and for me it’s easier to let it go.Or it will when I get that far.

Do I really need 2 spare keyboards with their mice? Plus a bag full of cables that I haven’t a clue where they came from, everything seems to be working so maybe I’ll risk getting rid of them.

Ive a long way to go, I’ve only done one bedroom so far.........

A friend says that as her girls will get all of her money when she dies, the least they can do is sort through all of her stuff, because she doesn’t want to do it!

Same here Lucca I have no problem getting rid of 'stuff ' I revel in it. Unfortunately my husband is a hoarder and and hates throwing things out. We do have some battles about what is going and what can stay. I fantasise about going through his cupboards etc armed with my black bags.

Dh has had to clear twice for his parents, once when FIL died and MIL moved to smaller home, and more recently when she moved into a care home. There was such a lot of stuff that wasn't wanted by him or his siblings, and some personal note books etc which he wishes he hadn't seen. We don't want our children to have to do this for us.

Haha Oopsadaisy that’s fair enough ! I want to spend my money though ??. Paperwork certainly needs clearing out regularly and yes very personal stuff should either have a warning on it or go ! Husbands are a bother as well... I’d have a lot less clutter and junk in house and garage if I got rid of mine ??

Starting early is good, give yourself time. I think it is best to make this a 2 step process. Start by going through things with the questions in your mind To Keep? Maybe Keep? To go out!

Put the definite go outs in bags /boxes and remove. Leave about a week then do the same with the things left, same questions. You will find things have changed in your head a bit (well they did for me!)

Again get rid of the go out items. At this point you may find you have many less maybe's. Put them aside and look through them again after another week. By then you should be clear what you are keeping and why. Emotional reasons are fine, once you really get down to proper emotion which is slightly different than sentimental!

Also, when you have a lot of emotion things that are similar, going through them and really thinking about the one/s that matter most for specific reasons help too. I ended up with just a small table, a cup and saucer, a crystal bowl and a plate that all belonged to my mum. (I do have other things like her rings etc but I mean from the other sort of items like china and furniture) After going through this process I had no problem getting rid of the rest of it!

Good luck

Mary DH is a chucker, he can’t understand why I keep things that don’t get used regularly. I am ever alert and watchful so that he doesn’t throw anything out.

I have a large picnic hamper filled with cards and letters sent to me (and my Mums from me) by children and GCs, by the time I look through them (yet again) I can’t bring myself to get rid of them, honestly, a whole hamper full, I must sort them out.
However, they have made it into the spare bedroom so they are a step closer to the recycling bin than they were last week.

I’m not going to talk about the 22 crates of Vintage crockery on shelves in the garage.......