Getting rid of ‘stuff’

If in doubt, Chuck it out.

We have moved a lot and usually ditch something. I can't throw anything with lots of memories, having said that.

Wow so many similar experiences ! I too secretly get rid of DH’s excess ... just clothes though that he never notices ?. What does your DH regret really Cabbie21? If I’d kept my daughter’s ‘my little ponies’ or pristine or barbie dolls I’d have made a fortune ... but life is complicated and short enough without worrying about that !

I vowed, when it took three skips and endless trips to the charity shop to clear my parents’ home, that I would not inflict the same problem on my children. We are not making much progress, though we got rid of a huge amount when we moved to our present house. I keep working on little bits, but most of the stuff is DH’s. He says he regrets throwing lots of things away and won’t throw anything else out.

We did a lot of sorting out during the first lockdown.Many trips to the tip and lots of stuff we advertised free to collector on Facebook.As someone else said our rooms look empty but the cupboards are still pretty full!

I aim to fill the wheelie bin and one charity bag each week and a trip to the tip every few weeks.My mother will not throw anything away but doesn’t like junk in our house so it comes home with us for us to throw away?

My in-laws are 90 and 93, their house is crammed full of stuff and it really gets MIL down.If I am in doubt about getting rid of stuff I just think of their house?

I've been a bit sneaky with some of my OH's stuff (I may get flamed by the Mother Superiors for this but never mind). As I do most of the clearing out I've taken the initiative and chucked some of his stuff. He so far hasn't noticed anything missing, I'm not sure he even remembers he has some of it.

Nothing that could be valuable or of sentimental value so far, just bits kept 'in case they come in handy', especially broken bits. I reckon he has to pay the price as well as me, even if he doesn't know he is. Just getting to the hard part now, the sentimental things (old Scalextric parts anyone? board games with bits missing? broken darts?). Might take the best part of a year to reduce by 25%.

Separating ourselves from items holding memories is much harder than weeding out modern kitchen utensils or clothes. You may not want to add to your photo collection but taking a photo of each sentimental item that was passed on really helped me. I do look at them now and again, they bring good memories.

The Salvation Army shop here welcomed two large bags of towels when we changed the accent colour in the bathroom recently, they support homeless people into accommodation in this area, also useful for the night shelter. Sometimes they accept bedding, depends on storage space and need, otherwise our local animal shelter welcomes them. .

Good luck with the clearing out. It took me two years to clear the loft in our previous home, yes, very full .

Gosh, some large hoards here! The important thing is to take a photograph of everything before you get rid of it. I'm not too bad but try to keep smaller items which take up less room. Jewellery for instance, and photographs and letters are all small in size but have huge sentimental value. I have a trunk full of my own and parents' nostalgic things, pictures on the wall and a few ornaments. My main hoard are 12 large family history files which have to be kept in a cupboard standing up, a coin and postcard collection and some boxes of photos.

Car boot sales, when allowed, are good to get rid of stuff. Just don’t be greedy about prices. No point taking it home again.

I totally understand where you are coming from, I find it so hard to get rid of things friends have bought me,it sounds silly really, I am at present on a healthy eating regime and have lost just under a stone, I have lot more to lose but I look in my wardrobe and I think well as I lose weight I will fit in this, this, this, so it hangs there ?some things I find it easier to charity than others, what I should do is say do I love it and if I don’t just give to charity and let things go, but do I nope

Westcoaster
- my sympathies to you - it’s a hard loss. Going slowly sounds good and yes the personal stuff can wait. You will be prepared for the emotions that will inevitably come .. I can’t imagine quite how I will cope when I have to (assuming it is me that has to!) . Take care and take it easy

Oldbat 1 - thanks for the tip about old towels etc . I know what you mean about it getting you down - the garage is a nightmare of useful objects ! Beware the hoarding .... it can get ridiculous and worse as one ages ....

Plain even !

Amberone - It’s funny about things that have been with us for so long because they were a gift - it’s barely about the item any more is it ? I have a large plane cream jug given by my cousin 40 years ago on my wedding day - it got used regularly for custard when the girls were at home. It hasn’t been used for years (and we have other jugs ). It is here purely because it has survived so long !! Time to hand it on to a large custard eating family!

I'm (very) slowly trying to declutter the house. DH died a few months ago and I will eventually move to somewhere smaller. Today I have offered the old kitchen table/chairs and a coffee table on Freecycle. DH couldn't toss anything so both house and shed were stuffed!
Of course, the hard part will be clearing out his personal things but that can wait.

Oh if anyone’s has sheets, towels etc not pillows or duvets a local wildlife charity, cat charity or dog charity would be thrilled I’m sure. I collect such from my locality and take to a local wildlife centre along with newspapers.

Husband is a hoarder. I could/want to be minimalist. We have a loft full of things that never get looked at. We have grandparents stuff ie books, photos, vases, cutlery, crockery etc, a maiden aunts personal stuff, parents books our children’s “stuff” from childhood. ALL would be redistributed elsewhere if I had my way. It really gets me down.

Last year I actually got rid of a vase someone bought me thirty years ago. I think I quite liked it at the start (or at least didn't mind it) but over the years it has just become 'the vase that * bought us'. It has stayed out on a shelf and been dusted regularly.

Until last year when I got it down while decorating and really looked at it and thought 'why have we still got this???' The emotional pull is still there, and I did smile when I thought about the story behind it, but I finally realised that it could go to the charity shop. I hadn't thought about it until reading this thread, so now the thread has made me smile thinking about the story behind the vase ?

EkwaNimitee - you made me laugh! My husband likes nothing better than to discover something useful in a box he’s had for 40 years ! Photos - far too many but I can’t face those either. Digitally it’s worse but at least they don’t take up space ! I got rid of a lifetimes collection of vinyl records 15 years ago and never regretted that - now wondering if the cd’s should go because everything can be downloaded ! We are active though so have a boat, sea kayaks and bikes and there is a lot of stuff goes with that. As well as two tents/ camping stuff and a Canadian canoe in case the grandchildren will come with us some day on an expedition. ( they are only 1 and 3 !). It’s not really going to happen . We also have a spare dining table and chairs in the garage will just have to go ( for the large Xmas we had 10 years ago ....!) I’ve just made myself even more overwhelmed ! I don’t see how we can ever move to a smaller house .

I moved from a large 4 bedroom house to a small flat and had to ruthlessly declutter as there is not much storage here. It was hard getting rid of sentimental things but I didn't miss them once I had moved to my new home.

I’m utterly ruthless, have a couple of bits from my parents house, a small case with my children’s wrist bands from their birth, cards from our wedding, a few photo albums and loose photos in a sports bag. We have no ornaments in the main room and a decorative, but functional Ricard set on a kitchen shelf, vases, three, are kept in a cupboard. Clothes are donated or thrown out if they’re not wearable, we have a double wardrobe and a chest of drawers we share. I, fortunately we, dislike clutter, even my seeds are kept filed in an expanding box!

I have just moved and did get rid of a lot of stuff beforehand. I also kept some in case I might like it in the new house. Now I’ve decided on another purge, I too am feeling overwhelmed by stuff. There’s no storage at all upstairs and it seems ridiculous to buy chests and cupboards etc for things I don’t need. I’m not sure that charity shops want bedding or towels, do they? I have accumulated such a lot over the years. The British Heart Foundation is good for unwanted furniture and electricals...my next port of call I think. I also Freecycle. The emotional stuff IS tough. Some of it I dealt with by photographing it and have found that, though I’m sorry to let these things go, I have not yet regretted anything.
marymary husbands are a bother! Mine never let anything go in case it came in useful sometime. Very occasionally it did but not enough to prevent me having to eventually dispose of around a dozen broken electric drills, a dozen wristwatches...etc etc and etc! A large workshop of DIY stuff to empty.
I still have an airing cupboard sized collection of his photo albums, still in moving boxes. I can’t bear throw them out nor do I want to spend years digitising them which is what I did with my slides. I am just going to have to buy shelving racks for them and leave them to my sons to deal with in due course.
It’s tough but there is some good advice here I’m going to re-read. Sorry not to be more helpful myself.

Madran - that sounds like wise advice. I think it’s what I’ve been aiming for but it’s taking a long time ! I’m not really sure I do want a copper warming pan - it has its place on the wall - but I just remember mum talking about how her mum did actually warm the beds with it and find it hard to get rid of ! I think that’s sentiment ! Lots of other items like that . But really what I treasure most is the feeling of her love - that is emotion. So maybe at the end of the day that is really all that is needed, with just 1 or 2 physical things. I do wish I had kept a letter or two though - she wrote prolifically and I just used to get rid of them - then she had a small stroke and just stopped writing ! Maybe there is more emotion going on here than I care to admit as we will be moving ‘sensibly ‘ to be nearer both our very settled children and their families before we can’t face it ! It’s hard enough now at 66 and Ive been warned it gets harder ......!!

I’m not going to talk about the 22 crates of Vintage crockery on shelves in the garage.......

Mary DH is a chucker, he can’t understand why I keep things that don’t get used regularly. I am ever alert and watchful so that he doesn’t throw anything out.

I have a large picnic hamper filled with cards and letters sent to me (and my Mums from me) by children and GCs, by the time I look through them (yet again) I can’t bring myself to get rid of them, honestly, a whole hamper full, I must sort them out.
However, they have made it into the spare bedroom so they are a step closer to the recycling bin than they were last week.

Starting early is good, give yourself time. I think it is best to make this a 2 step process. Start by going through things with the questions in your mind To Keep? Maybe Keep? To go out!

Put the definite go outs in bags /boxes and remove. Leave about a week then do the same with the things left, same questions. You will find things have changed in your head a bit (well they did for me!)

Again get rid of the go out items. At this point you may find you have many less maybe's. Put them aside and look through them again after another week. By then you should be clear what you are keeping and why. Emotional reasons are fine, once you really get down to proper emotion which is slightly different than sentimental!

Also, when you have a lot of emotion things that are similar, going through them and really thinking about the one/s that matter most for specific reasons help too. I ended up with just a small table, a cup and saucer, a crystal bowl and a plate that all belonged to my mum. (I do have other things like her rings etc but I mean from the other sort of items like china and furniture) After going through this process I had no problem getting rid of the rest of it!

Good luck