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Getting rid of ‘stuff’

(97 Posts)
marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 15:02:25

Haha Oopsadaisy that’s fair enough ! I want to spend my money though ??. Paperwork certainly needs clearing out regularly and yes very personal stuff should either have a warning on it or go ! Husbands are a bother as well... I’d have a lot less clutter and junk in house and garage if I got rid of mine ??

maryrose54 Sat 01-May-21 14:55:45

Dh has had to clear twice for his parents, once when FIL died and MIL moved to smaller home, and more recently when she moved into a care home. There was such a lot of stuff that wasn't wanted by him or his siblings, and some personal note books etc which he wishes he hadn't seen. We don't want our children to have to do this for us.

sodapop Sat 01-May-21 14:22:46

Same here Lucca I have no problem getting rid of 'stuff ' I revel in it. Unfortunately my husband is a hoarder and and hates throwing things out. We do have some battles about what is going and what can stay. I fantasise about going through his cupboards etc armed with my black bags.grin

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 01-May-21 14:18:25

A friend says that as her girls will get all of her money when she dies, the least they can do is sort through all of her stuff, because she doesn’t want to do it!

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 01-May-21 14:16:57

I’m mid De cluttering at moment, not moving, just decided it’s time to let go of some stuff.
I’ve transferred everything I don’t need into the spare bedroom drawers, that way it looks like a load of old junk and for me it’s easier to let it go.Or it will when I get that far.

Do I really need 2 spare keyboards with their mice? Plus a bag full of cables that I haven’t a clue where they came from, everything seems to be working so maybe I’ll risk getting rid of them.

Ive a long way to go, I’ve only done one bedroom so far.........

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 14:12:40

Thanks everyone - nice to hear experiences . It takes me ages to decide about something - but if that is true it probably means I should get rid of it ! I hung on to something of my mums that I actually hated but she loved it and I felt bad about getting rid of it! My girls would not be so sentimental!

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 14:08:15

Yes you are right about family not having to do it ‘in the end’ - I worked as a palliative social worker and this was the hardest thing for people. There are always things left though. I’m keeping things I love or will use, trying not to store anything other than photos ( there’s another story - going to digitise and print the best of 200 of my dads slides from 10 years in India 1930 - 1940 ) . When we last moved I got rid of loads and never regretted a thing .

Grandmabatty Sat 01-May-21 14:05:57

When I downsized two years ago I did a massive clear out. Four bedrooms and a garage going to two bedrooms and no garage. I gave my children the photos which were of them. I visited charity shops every week. I cleared a room at a time and took stuff to the dump and gave furniture away through the church. There are plenty of online places where you can get rid of things. My ruling was: if I hadn't used something for at least a year, I got rid of it. Obviously this was before the lock down! But that rule still holds for me. Good luck.

Rosalyn69 Sat 01-May-21 13:42:18

I’m in the process of decluttering. My BIL has just passed away and it made me aware that decluttering is better than someone else going through my stuff when it’s my turn to die.

Redhead56 Sat 01-May-21 13:27:33

I emptied my mil house aunties and other uncles house it was hard work. I too want to make it easy for my family when the time comes they have busy lives.

Redhead56 Sat 01-May-21 13:25:36

I can’t wait until my DH goes back to volunteering that’s when I empty cupboards bookcases etc of junk to the charity shop. It drives me mad if something isn’t broke he won’t get rid of it even though stuff is never used.

Kim19 Sat 01-May-21 13:19:59

I'm not moving (as far as I know!) but I'm doing my best to offload 'stuff' on a weekly basis but, by golly, it is hard. I just don't want to make my departure from this mortal coil too difficult for my children. I cleared my lovely Mum's house and the experience still gives me nightmares and such sad memories. Have to confess that, after the initial shock of despatching an item, I have never regretted or needed that said item afterwards. They're heart comforts and not physical needs and actually excesses can be a pain. However, each to his own......

Shandy57 Sat 01-May-21 13:19:02

I found it very hard to declutter and still have a feeling of 'loss', I wish I'd photographed all the things I gave away/sold.

My rule is I have to really love it, or it has a practical value now. I'm still dithering over the chocolate fountain!

I've moved into a small bungalow and have kept quite a lot of bric a brac but only have the windowsills here, no mantel pieces, which I miss.

Lucca Sat 01-May-21 13:12:27

I love getting rid of stuff.
When I was due to move from a three storey house to a flat I spent every Sunday decluttering taking things to the tip or charity shops. It made the move so much easier.

I still like to get rid of things I no longer like or use. Imagine any poor children having to sort through years worth of stuff when you die! I hate clutter such as ornaments, I have a few only and my flat is not remotely bare !

Amberone Sat 01-May-21 13:10:08

Peasblossom that does sound like a nice gentle way to declutter

Amberone Sat 01-May-21 13:08:18

marymary62 our cupboards are still full but at least our rooms look emptier ? It's taken a year to get rid of stuff we really don't want or need, including dozens of bags to charity shops and trips to the tip and freebies on Freecycle.
Now like you we are faced with stuff we have either been given, or inherited or just bought as mementos of good times. I have found it gets easier, life is so much easier having places to put things away and not having to fight our way through all the clutter looking for things it sort of spurs you on a bit and helps you to see the things you can live without and the things you really do want to keep.

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 13:00:21

Wedding presents too! We still have a few after 40 years - kind of feel it’s a ‘bad omen’ to get rid !!

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 12:58:09

Good ideas Peasblossom Thankyou -‘ pick out what you like ‘ does sound easier ! I feel like I have spent 20 years whittling down all my dads photos, books, poems . He’s in my heart so I really don’t need any of it .

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 12:54:39

Yes Amberone that’s what I thought - I feel like I’ve been doing it for a year ! It’s all the inherited / gift stuff I have a problem with - guilt ! I will ask family but they are all miles away. I’ve just take. 6 vases to the charity shop - feels great ! Don’t even buy cut flowers now ! We just have too much storage here so it’s easy, so it’s helpful to think ‘ do I really want to move this’ or ‘ would I actually pay to put this on storage ‘ . Or maybe - ‘if I didn’t buy it and I don’t positively love it why keep it ‘ Thanks of for your words

Peasblossom Sat 01-May-21 12:51:47

The emotional stuff is hard. I employed the trunk method. I had a travelling trunk left over from student days and put as much of my parents stuff in it as I could and shut the lid. A few weeks later I went back to it and found that there were a couple of things I could give away, that didn’t seem to have the same emotional value. I didn’t manage to empty the trunk before I moved but at least it was contained and bit by bit I reduced it all to just a box.

With my excess stuff, I did either\or. Instead of looking at 10 vases I just picked out two and said keep this one or this one. Somehow that was easier to decide and then I repeated a week later.

I thought I’d decluttered a lot but I was still horrified at how many boxes I needed when I moved?

Amberone Sat 01-May-21 12:43:11

We are doing the same, although we are unlikely to move for nearly a year. It amazes me how much rubbish gets accumulated, although I suppose we have been here 25 years. I don't think you can start early enough to be honest - the less strain there is around moving time the better. At least you have time to assess what you want to do with things - throw them, sell them, give them away. Do your family want any of it? Friends?

If you get rid of stuff before you move you don't have to pack it and you don't have to deal with it at the other end.

marymary62 Sat 01-May-21 12:31:30

Sure there is a thread about this somewhere .... Planning to move - probably a house with less storage but anyway I am starting to feel overwhelmed by belongings. Only been here 12 years but in that time we have had a daughters wedding here (lots of vases) my mum died (lots of heirlooms, books, photos more glasses than I will ever need etc or I can’t decide whether I really want and family members who love giving ornaments etc as gifts ) I’m not doing too badly with things I know I neither want nor like (clothes are the easy bit too) but I find it harder with the emotional baggage of things my mum loved, and things I do like but just have to many of .... who needs 7 jugs or 6 large ornamental bowls ..... not to mention all the pots in the garden ! Already taken two carloads to charity . One estate agent said we were very ‘minimal’ but he didn’t look on the cupboards did he ? Am I doing too much in advance ? Stressing needlessly ? Help!