Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

Congratulations Mary on your move. It takes time to settle in. It makes me happy doing the garden and, like you, I would like a water feature. I have a bird bath with a water fountain in, not sure if it's been working since we moved in, so may need to get a new fountain.

Not sure if I'm happy here either Mary. There's the parking problem, no better. Parked over the road, he's parked right up onto my bumper again, and the car that was in front has gone, so at least I'm not blocked in. I was blocked in yesterday, impossible to get out to work, had to knock on the guys door, he has a driveway but parks across it, this is a bit further up from over the road, that does the same. Next door, both sides, move there cars about, so never a chance of me parking outside my own house!

Day before yesterday, my son and I were finishing off the shed, I was doing the wood preserve with a paint gun, so bit noisy, my son was doing the facings with some needing trimming with the electric sawing, so looking busy, when my upstairs neighbour came round. He's window cleaner had left his ladder, so he asked my son to get up and do his roof gutters, no gloves or bags for the gunk that would be up there. I said , 'No, that's really dangerous!' He sort of stood in front of me backing up so I had to move back, still telling my son to get up the ladder, nearly putting the ladder into my kitchen window, I had to say 'Watch out!' He wouldn't take no for an answer, I said ' there are times when you have to say no to people and this is that time "No!"

Haven't seen him since, but it has left a bad feeling, I will just say hello when I next see him, but can't believe he wanted my son to climb up to the roof gutters and clean them for him, he could see we were already really busy doing things.

If I won the lottery I would definitely move, too close to too many neighbours that are not neighbourly. I always said how important neighbours are and did always have very considerate ones, even one put my fence back up after heavy winds.

Your Keto mash sounds good Karmalady I only eat fish on a Friday, but have starting cooking a free range organic chicken for Sunday lunch, delicious, but I don't feel good about it. Before I got a Quorn cutlet, my son had chicken, but can't find the cutlets anymore.

Morning all, bit overcast and grey today.

I've just had more 'hints' on ancestry, I'm finding it very interesting now I've got DNA matches.

Sorry about your parking Yogi, I had those problems in London, it was worse when I had the children, sometimes I had to park round the corner in the next road. As for the upstairs neighbour trying to save £30 by asking your son to do it, that was an outrageous ask. He didn't want to do it, did he! Stay well clear, he sounds unhinged.

Have a good day whatever you are doing.

Yes Shandy I told my son not to agree to do anything if he knocks whilst I'm out, fine to do little jobs, like moving the lawn, but not getting up to do the roof gutters! Having said that, where I lived before, my other neighbour did climb up onto my roof and replaced a tile, but I didn't ask him to, he just did it! My son wasn't with me then. My neighbour the other side would ask if I wanted my tree trimmed, I thanked him and said I get someone in every 2yrs or so, they would bring round Easter eggs and Xmas cookies, so pleasant, as were all the neighbours. Not like that here sadly.

I am glad you were so assertive Yogi, hopefully the man will know not to try it on again, so horribly entitled.

I wonder if other neighbours have experience of him, make some subtle enquiries. My Mum moved into a ground floor flat and the creepy adult son of the woman upstairs wouldn't leave her alone - she'd be watching tv and he'd suddenly be at her lounge window, beckoning to be let it. She ended up being scared to open the curtains. We are too polite aren't we, I had to have words with him in the end.

Oh yogi, I am so sorry about what is happening to you and your son. You are very right to say no. That upstairs neighbour, is he the one that you were hoping would sell you that little space for parking? He is not nice, nor considerate. Make future plans, throw everything you can into saving, you would need to stay 2 years in order to not arouse buyer suspicions and don`t spend any more money on the flat. You cannot help what goes on around you, so keep your head down and plan ahead for your excape, perhaps even in a very different location

My and my husband once cut our losses, again down to a neighbour. We lost money but life is too short to wait for the problem to go away. I agree about making subtle enquiries, for starters I would look on facebook and google his name

Karmalady The people I bought from were here just 2yrs & I think the same for people before. He's an elderly chap and is friendly, but he seems to want things done for him. He knocked on our door 2 weeks after we moved in and asked me if I'd seen any road closures as he had waited too long for he's bus into town, I was in the middle of making my lunch and we had planned to constructed our shed afterwards [didn't happen] but I'm sure my neighbour was fishing for a lift off me, if it had been the following Tues I would have offered.

Taking my dog out yesterday and next door [caravan on driveway] were coming out too, my dog started barking at them, as they have a dog they are understanding, but I went back in till he stopped. I realised after getting into my car, that they were waiting for me to leave so they could take their car out and then back their silver van outside my house, so I couldn't come back and park there myself. I hung around a while, to sort of show I knew what they were up to, but finally left. On getting back, the van was parked outside my house!

Worse to come. On getting to the park I noticed a note on my windscreen, it was from the guy over the road, who likes to park right onto my boot, saying 'don't park over my driveway' which I hadn't. I went to see him and it turns out he considers 5ft after he's drive finishes is still he's driveway. So where the curb rounds off and up to the beginning of the next section of pavement. I explained I live opposite and have yet to park outside my own house. He said he had the same before he had he's driveway done [looks new] but doesn't want to use he's drive, but park in front, which doesn't make a difference to me, but I did point out that he had an opposition of 4 parking spots, 3 on he's drive and 1 in front, where as I had none. I said you always pull right onto my boot and block me in, when I've parked as far away from your drive as I can.

Left to do some shopping, came back, he had gone out in his car but when he got back he parked back a bit and I'd parked forward a bit, so quite a gap between our cars, made me feel bad that possible not allowing another to park in front of me now, but what can I do.

Morning all, sunny this morning and hopefully life is back to normal and I'll be able to park when I go into town.

Sorry to read your parking nightmare Yogi. Could you get your drive done too? I want to get my drive widened and am putting it off due to the expense.

stop feeling bad for starters, just learn to survive this dreadful manipulation. You need to keep yourself together and go into survival mode, while keeping your head down, as much as you can. Meanwhile make plans going forward, include other areas that may be cheaper so that you can get something decent. Not eg anywhere near walking distance to a station, where commuters will park all day, every day. Two years will go quickly and will be productive if you take a positive spin

I cannot see the parking situation improving, those neighbours all seem to be entrenched. Be sure to avoid an actual dispute, which would have to be declared. Nothing on paper or reported officially

shandy do you have any updates about the sub floor? Any decision

I think I've offended the surveyor karmalady, no contact now for two weeks. He didn't turn up to look at the airbricks. I always overthink but 'ghosting' comes to mind. I think I've already said I've piled everything into the concrete floored lounge/kitchen and back of back bedroom -but if that needs digging up to duct it, I'm going to have to put everything into storage and move out completely. It's not what I expected. My husband's sixth anniversary on 17th May and I'm still not settled.

Shandy, I am so sorry, that you are not settled yet.

Your surveyor has seriously let you down from the start. Have a look around for a structural engineer and tbh it would be worth paying for one to come and look and advise. You mentioned ducting but will not need that if you go for a concrete subfloor as there will be no wood in the subfloor, nothing that needs airflow

In the meantime know that surveyors have a duty of care towards their clients, they are expected to point out problems that would affect the structure or price of a property. You did not get that duty of care and should be able to get financial compensation. Now you need to cut those mental links with your surveyor as a person that you know, be detached

www.rics.org/uk/products/dispute-resolution-service/?link=bottom-nav

You will find something about disputes on the surveyors website

You should keep any photos that you have taken

shandy do you have legal insurance with your house insurance? If so, you could start the ball rolling

Thank you for your advice karmalady, it is so excessively boring isn't it! I've resigned myself to living in a storage environment as I did in the rental cottage, and am coping OK but obviously cannot start replacing my sofa etc yet.

The right hand front bedroom has the newly discovered wet/dry rot woodwormed floorboards. I have to have the fitted wardrobe removed. The left hand bedroom is full black mouldy plasterboard. I have to have the fitted storage cupboard in there removed.

The hallway and half of the bedroom and bathroom at the back are black mouldy plasterboard, half is concrete. The lounge/kitchen is full concrete. I have to get a plumber to remove the shower cubicle.

If the builder didn't duct the extension concrete flooring through to the plasterboard side of the flooring, the airbricks at the front are pulling air in with now where to go, literally hitting a concrete wall. It is very odd the airbricks on the extension don't have full clearance, as you say, they could have been inserted for show.

The timber floor replacement is £9K plus VAT, concrete would be triple that price. I really don't want to spend £30K plus on it, plus the storage costs/accommodation/kennels/cattery etc. I know concrete would be the ideal solution.

My surveyor had put the clause in to say he couldn't inspect the subfloor because of the fully fitted carpets, and I must say they were very, very tight when I tried to get them up. I looked down the hole cut by the damp/timber specialist surveyor - just a view of the big concrete block at the base of the chimney. I will have a look to see if I've got legal insurance and try and find a structural engineer, thank you.

Lovely hot sunny day here now, 53 degrees! I've just mown both lawns, sawn a hole in the side gate for the cat so she can get out the front, and put the washing out.

I have no expert knowledge, but surely if your surveyor had used any sort of damp meter, he would have known there was some sort of potential problem.

Must say, I have said, all along, he was negligent, to say the least. And, you were so very keen to see him as a friend that you have ignored this.

Definitely take advice as to if you have a case against him.

Thank you Franbern, it's so horribly awkward, and my kids can't help, too inexperienced.

Having a salad with pomegranate seeds, I'd forgotten how nice they are, thank you for the suggestion! I did eat the work house soup I'd made myself first, argh even with cheese grated on top it was nasty. Definitely wouldn't be asking for more!

yes wrt the damp meter, he should have been using that on the lowest levels of the walls and on the carpets and it would have picked up a problem. The flat roof construction and lack of screws should also have been picked up. I googled surveyor negligence and there are specialist solicitors out there. I don`t understand the reluctance, waiting will not help your case because that will add to the damage and cost which would not be recoverable because of the time taken before action

Had a very pleasant couple of days away in Southampton. Was taken out for lunch Day 1 by two of my former gymnasts/gymnastic coaches. These people are really likemy 'other; family. I have seen them grown up from children, and now with grown up children of their own. Second day, went to home of my twins former Diving Coach (still actively coaching and producing champions!!!! Only annoyance, was when nearly home had message from a neighbour concerned that Sainsbury's were trying to deliver my order. This was at 6.30 pm, when we were still fifteen minutes away, and order had been arranged for between 7.00 pm -8.00 pm.!! Van had to sit and wait for me to get home.

Karmalady No I don't want anymore disputes and feel I will have to reluctantly accept this situation. I'm still parked opposite, but I'm sure when I get back from my evening classes at about 9pm there will be no spaces left.

Shandy I bet you look at my parking problem and wish that was all you had to worry about. I do agree with the others that say your surveyor was negligent. Can't believe the concert cost so much! I wish you all the luck in the world in getting your home sorted out quickly and without breaking the bank.

Morning all, we've got fog! I shouldn't be surprised, it often happens when we've had a sunny day. I heard my first swallow this morning, they are late this year.

I will let you all know what happens, I've been googling for structural engineers. I do think it is s a simple case of a lack of ventilation. I'm not going to mention it again as it's too stressful, I've woken up after a nightmare feeling horrible today.

Glad you had a good time Franbern.

I am truly sorry about your parking Yogi. I remember shaking with rage and knocking on the neighbour's door on a wet stormy night with my toddler on my shoulder and heavy work bag. I'd arrived home at the same time from work as our neighbour's daughter, she saw me and continued to park outside my house. I had to go much further up the road. She'd looked straight at me!

Shandy perhaps your surveyor has been on holiday, some schools broke up two weeks before Easter and go back to school this week.

True midgey, he does have a son, and might be on holiday.

I'm so fed up with everything and thought of having the floors done and selling today.

And now my elderly dog has got another cyst inbetween his toes on his front paw. Luckily I still have the cream from the December incident and socks, but I feel so sorry for him. He's had a doggy half a paracetamol in his dinner and I'm going to vet bandage the sock on overnight. Fingers crossed I can get him into the vet again tomorrow. All part of elderly dog ownership, I do my best for him.

Oh poor Shandy's doggie, it's hard isn't it, as they can't talk and tell us how they feel. I say to mine; it's time you could talk, just a few words That was rotten of your neighbours daughter! When I was almost completing on this property, I saw [still getting details through] a lovely bungalow, it looked like it needed work, but I thought 'shall I go for it' seeing all your problems Shandy it's a good job I didn't.

I got back at 9pm yesterday, wondering where would I park and wonder of wonders, the spot opposite was free! The guy hadn't moved forward and the guy in front was pulled well forward too, so I got in with ease. Perhaps they have decided to be more neighbourly at long last. I did say to the guy opposite; would you like your wife or mother to be parked half way down the road at 10pm on a dark night, walking with heavy bags in the rain I get back at 10pm tonight, so we'll see.

My neighbour in the next bungalow went to a large company and was quoted a whopping £4,500 to have her facias and gutters, front and back, replaced. The bungalow is about the same size as mine, semi detached, probably 90 sq m.

When the men arrived a few days ago it was a local company I recognised in a grotty van, he had a magnetic sign he took off the van while doing the job. So looks like the large reputable company sub contract out locally.

I can hardly believe the large company 'salesman' has just knocked and asked if I would like a quote for mine. I said yes, the day after the Pope gets married! No I didn't, I mumbled something about I've got a builder already. I know the wooden fascias on mine are rotten as my roofer told me but I'll approach a local company direct. It's scandalous!

Seems to be something else that your surveyor 'missed'. Surely, they cannot have gone rotten in just over a year!!! Really Shandy you should seek legal advice about suing him.