Messy House; Messy Life Thread ??

Josieann. When I'm away from my home I get "joy joy" feelings from knowing that my house is all nice and clean, waiting for my return.

Blossoming that was a creepy thing to do.

We live in an average sized house (Victorian semi), with 3 bedrooms (one DH’s office for WFH) - but there’s never enough storage! The kitchen is ok - just enough cupboards there. But the bedrooms and the sitting room just have ‘stuff’ piled up on chairs or in baskets.

I'm not a minimalist but neither do I like clutter everywhere. I've never understood why people think a house has to be full of 'stuff' to look homey. I am always happier when it's tidy and things are put away where I know where to find them when I want them. Yes there are always books out. Our PCs are always beside the sofa. I don't really care where the cushions and throws have moved to. Sometimes there is craft stuff out, or cameras, or hiking paraphernalia or something else. When we've finished what we're doing it all goes away again.

When I first got interested in slow cooking a friend told me not to buy one as she had one she had never used and would look it out for me. She finally found it in the garage five years later - just as well I didn't wait for her to find it.

Blossoming

Josieann

Thank you. The lamp has a funny story attached. We bought it abroad and to get it home wrapped it in a duvet cover sitting on the back seat of the car with a seat belt round it. Funny looks from customs. My friend painted the matching canvases. That's why things in our houses become precious to us all, its the association and memories. Any other good stories people have to share?

That must have been before you put the house up for sale on Zoopla then Josieann.

Are you playing Sherlock Blossoming? I think most "housey" people on GN know I moved out of London just before the pandemic, so yes it is my house there. I can assure you that was exactly how it was day in day out, and not dissimilar to how my new property presents.
I said I move frequently so the lamp has had 4 residences since it came back to the UK 12 years ago.
Let me know if you need further evidence that I am indeed talking about my own house and "not having a laugh" as you put it.

Mine is not untidy or cluttered but what I would call lived in, even the many books in the bookcase looked used and untidy

Woodmouse I'm a bit like you in that I can't go away on holiday or even for a weekend until everything in the house is pristine. Just in case I never come back I guess!
I agree it is important to keep things of sentimental value as these are irreplaceable, but stuff I haven't used for a few years or with pieces missing or chipped goes in the bin.
My mum's house was messy. She used to say that if a burglar looked in he would think a mate had just been there before him and would turn to leave! So all good.

Josieann

Thank you. The lamp has a funny story attached. We bought it abroad and to get it home wrapped it in a duvet cover sitting on the back seat of the car with a seat belt round it. Funny looks from customs. My friend painted the matching canvases. That's why things in our houses become precious to us all, its the association and memories. Any other good stories people have to share?

That must have been before you put the house up for sale on Zoopla then Josieann.

Interesting discussion. We’re all different and some perhaps more invested in “stuff” and don’t like to let possessions go, or are attached for sentimental reasons.
As for me I’m fairly lazy and relaxed about a bit of clutter until mess stresses me (or I have visitors ?) and then do a clear round and inevitably feel better.
OH has been brought up in a fussy household and so gets more worked up than me about clutter, which actually works well as he does the clearing!

I am obsessively clean and tidy. I can't function in a mess or dirt. However, it can be a curse. I can't leave the house unless everything is looking "perfect". Over the two years we have given away and sold approximately 50 per cent of our possessions and my life has definitely become easier than before. Unfortunately I am now becoming an obsessive minimalist.

Our house is tidy on the surface but please don't open any cupboards! We're not 'house' people realty. We've never considered it important in the scheme of things. Things get replaced, decorating gets done when the situation is desperate!

I think my house is quite minimal, but I still find it hard work constantly putting things away to keep it that way.

I worry about everything being digital etc now and there being no original source material in the future. I tend to keep magazines and newspaper cuttings. Thankfully one of the first things we did in the pandemic was to switch to an online newspaper. DH is unusual for a man in that he loves shopping and I’m someone that has to buy a bargain even if it’s something I don’t actually need. Again, the pandemic has stopped that although I do tend to impulsively buy things online. I prefer books to kindles and DVD’s to having Sky etc ( although the latter will change as I’m worried about plastic use ). I also hate throwing things in the bin knowing they will just go to landfill. Old videos etc. I do feel beyond help.

JaneJudge

Aww at the lamp body in the back of the car

Yes, things are precious. I am like you Jen53. Photographs really make me cry and I can only cope with so much at a time. My Mum recently gave me a huge box of old photographs from my childhood and I had to ask her to stop showing them me as it was upsetting. She didn't understand this at all, so it's nice to know I am not that unusual

I made a point of doing photo albums when my children were young that were also full of other things: pictures they’d drawn, hand prints etc. I thought they would make me happy but I can’t bear to look at them now. This has been made worse by the fact that there are photos of many holidays that we shared with my friends family and she has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Jenn53

FannyCornforth, the same here with me. I wasn't a particularly tidy person but always liked to see everything in its place. However, in the last few years my life and mental state have deteriorated through divorce, loss of house, loss of job, chronic pain & other medical issues plus lockdown and feeling isolated leading to mental issues so my place now which has been my "happy nest" from the outside world, has become cluttered with stuff I don't need. I am basically becoming a hoarder, clothes falling out of cupboards, piles of books, magazines every where, furniture, photos etc. Hanging on to these for dear life as they bring back happy memories. Close friends who have stood by me through thick and thin have been round to help me de-clutter, loaded black bin bags for charity shops, etc. etc. but still the chaos continues. I am so hoping to get out of this messy cycle and sort myself out but it is proving difficult. I feel better now knowing I am not the only one going through this and with all your practical ideas and encouragement I can get back to some sort of normality in 2022.

Oh Jen: that’s exactly where I am. I still have all of my childrens toys and books plus things belonging to my ex’s parents ( he left me over twenty years ago). The garage is still full if a lot of his stuff. Plus the fact that my current partner isn’t very good at house maintenance so the house is slowly falling into disrepair. I did want to do the swedish death clean thing but the pandemic hit and I didn’t want anyone in my house. It’s currently so bad I don’t know where to start. I spend a lot of time at my partners but when I’m back here the mess seems to get worse and worse. If anyone visited me they would think I had a serious problem and it’s verging on being like one of those houses in those tv programmes about hoarders.

On the surface my house is tidy and clean but if anyone opened the cupboards and drawers, they might be shocked at the mess hidden inside! Every now and again I clear out a drawer or a cupboard and throw a lot of stuff away but somehow the clutter seems to breed again.

After clearing out my mums house, I was worried about leaving my children to go through my house after I die but my daughter told me not to worry - she would just hire a skip and chuck everything in it!

I have used the lockdowns to go through wardrobes and cupboards and every couple of months have taken things to the tip. I am shocked at how much I’ve thrown away, when I moved into this house ten years ago from the large family house, I threw loads away as I was putting everything into storage. I then had another massive clear out when I moved in as not everything in storage was suitable for this house. At one time I had loads of space in the spare bedroom wardrobes but no longer!

I have a cleaner every two weeks now so the house is always clean and looks tidy - my new style in my lounge is Scandi Chic and I’m enjoying the clean-cut lines, white walls and wooden floor.

I think I have got more untidy as I’ve got older, the muddles soon start to build up and then I can’t find anything! I tend to just have a good blitz to try and get back on top of things. I’m certainly not as house proud as I used to be, I’d rather spend my time doing other things. Having said that I love a nice tidy bedroom with fresh bedding on the bed. I should really sort out my kitchen cupboards and my wardrobe, both desperately need attention.

FannyCornforth

I found a jigsaw in the kitchen that my father had fobbed me off with last Christmas because it was surplus to requirements.
It’s been under the kitchen table for a year.
I wouldn’t mind (well, actually I probably would) but his house is four times bigger than mine; and I don’t do jigsaws.

Jigsaw in the bin then - that’s a start!

I want to be tidy but have very little storage. Having said that someone came up with good ideas for storing scarves on another thread, so I’ve sorted my scarf mess out this week ?

I found a jigsaw in the kitchen that my father had fobbed me off with last Christmas because it was surplus to requirements.
It’s been under the kitchen table for a year.
I wouldn’t mind (well, actually I probably would) but his house is four times bigger than mine; and I don’t do jigsaws.

I’ve only just come back to have a quick look to see how the thread is going.
It’s great to see so many posts!
Not that I’ve actually read them at all yet.
I’ve been clearing the Christmas decorations from their limbo state in the kitchen.
They are now upstairs and need to go in DH’s ‘spare’ bit of his wardrobe.
This morning I came downstairs to find that Nextdoor’s (aka The Lunatics’) cat had weed on my living room floor…

Some of this makes me feel rather sorry for charity shops ?.

Since we moved house in 2016 we have been careful not to fall back into our old habits of impulse buying and hanging on to things "That might come in useful, some day".

If I genuinely am in doubt as to whether I will miss something if I dispose of it, I put it either into the small cellar or the equally small attic.

Once every summer I tidy the attic and if something turns up that I have not needed for a year (or more) out it goes.

If it really would hurt to get rid of it, it is reinstated in whichever room of the house it came from, until I either decide that it is surplus to requirement or start using it again.

The cellar is tidied just before Christmas every year and the same principle applies to the things that have been moved down there.

Passing the idea on in the hope that it helps. Looking forward to hearing others' good ideas.

I like tidy. But, I'm not able to achieve it. I rely a lot on my husband who isnt.
Plus I have a lot of craft 'stuff' and not a lot of space for it. So I am my own worst enemy in some ways.
Add to this the fact that the bathroom has no ceiling and holes in the floorboards waiting for the electrician and plumber and my husband to finish the jobs ( it's been like it for over a year now) there isnt the incentive to find a way to start.

Hetty snap! My knitting is at the end of the sofa too, and my knitting bag is too full of Unfinished projects to use properly.?

I'm a very tidy person, always have been, we're all different aren't we. That said Fanny if you really feel that the untidiness of your home is affecting other areas of your life, try by doing one small area at a time.

Just one cupboard for example is a good place to start, one a day perhaps or one a week, whatever you're comfortable with. If you can get rid of anything that you know you don't need or no longer want, that will free up space in cupboards and drawers for the things you do.

Having 'a place for everything and everything in it's place' instantly creates a tidy look. You'd be amazed I'm sure at the amount of 'stuff' we have, most of it's mine, things collected and gifted over the years.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

I've had the lecture from my DS1. The basic fact is that I need to tidy my house, cut the clutter and move to a retirement apartment. I agree, but can't seem to find the energy or the will-power to do what needs to be done. Being 81 is no excuse! ?