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"Popping in" on someone without notice.

(185 Posts)
biglouis Wed 09-Mar-22 12:22:47

Interesting thread over on MN about "popping in" on someone without calling/texting first. About a 50/50 split.

I run a business from home so popping in on me is a complete NO NO, no matter how well you know me. My time is money and I have a list of tasks to accomplish most days. So I dont have time to sit around and chat with you, wait on you with tea or coffee unless you are coming for business.

My ring doorbell allows me to filter unexpected callers and there are distinct advantages to being a non driver - so no car to suggest Im in.

In the "olden days" when I was a kid (1940s/50s) not only were there no mobile phones but many people did not have a phone of any kind. Sunday was the day for "visiting" so you might either go to see friends and family or expect them around. Appointments were made in advance or by post.

How do you feel about people who "pop in" - do you welcome them or hate it?

henetha Wed 09-Mar-22 19:03:17

I never pop in on anyone, even family. And I hate people popping in on me. It throws me into a mad panic, even if the house is tidy.

Doodledog Wed 09-Mar-22 18:55:05

It's not inhospitable, it's not having to live your life as though you are always on show.

To me, my home is my sanctuary, and I can let my hair down there. If I want to stay in my pyjamas all morning and watch Eastenders, I can. If I want to leave the dishes until later, I can do that, too. It doesn't mean that I want everyone to see me doing it, though.

A ten minute warning would at least allow me to put some clothes on, pull a brush through my hair, switch off the TV and shut the kitchen door. That way, I could be hospitable when my visitor arrived, and smile when offering coffee rather than both of us feeling mortified at my being caught out.

Kim19 Wed 09-Mar-22 17:33:39

We are talking of 'friend's here? My door is always open. If there's a mess, there's a mess. My friends know me warts and all. I do prefer a bit of notice as it helps with my undivided attention and a bit of pampering in the shape of catering, for instance. However we would share whatever's available. Most of my pals would call ahead just to check that I'm going to be in. Inhospitable old world it's becoming........

mumofmadboys Wed 09-Mar-22 17:28:24

I like people dropping in but then I am retired and have few time constraints.

snowberryZ Wed 09-Mar-22 17:18:00

After reading this thread on MN I've come to the conclusion that's its mainly the older generation who have a bad habit of popping in announced.
The younger generation like to have a bit of advance warning. Its the new way.
Even if its nly a 10 minutes warning, 10 minutes doesn't sound long, but it can give a person time to change quickly and have a lightening speed tidy up of anything embarrassing lying around.
Or it goes them the chance to say, sure you can come for half an hour, but we are going out at x time
And in this day and age of smartphones,there's no excuse not to give someone a quick text to say you're in the area and if it's OK to pop in.
Manners innit?

Rosina Wed 09-Mar-22 17:08:09

I too hate it. I have called at friend's houses here and there to drop something off if passing, but would never go in, or expect to - the whole event over in a minute or two. I really dislike people just dropping in - we've had that several times, and it's usually so inconvenient - we were having dinner, or just about to serve it, or absolutely exhausted having had a really tiring day and someone appears who is expecting tea, sandwiches, and a good natter until past midnight. I have, once or twice, hidden!

nadateturbe Wed 09-Mar-22 17:07:59

I love visitors Just not without notice.

sodapop Wed 09-Mar-22 17:05:55

I don't like people to just 'pop in' either. Family are ok but not others. I like to be prepared. If people do arrive unexpectedly it's always when I'm wearing my tatty clothes and the house is a mess. smile

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 09-Mar-22 17:01:01

Jaylou

I need notice of visitors. I always like to present a tidy house, but I need time to make it tidy!

Plenty of time in my case!

paddyann54 Wed 09-Mar-22 16:57:53

We've never had a problem with pop ins,we dont lock our door our friends will knock and walk in .Its how we've alway been and people are always welcome.

Josieann Wed 09-Mar-22 16:57:31

MerylStreep

Josieann

I am so happy to be back in a place where I can pop in regularly and people do the same to me. It never happened in London mainly because everyone around me was so busy. My house here is top to bottom glass across the front, so difficult to hide. The dog is pretty good at alerting me if someone is coming up the drive, giving me time to brush my hair! I like it.

josieann
Thank goodness for your post ?
This thread has certainly born out the view that people all over the world have of us: insular.
Well not me or Josieann ?

You're welcome, anytime MerylStreep.

MerylStreep Wed 09-Mar-22 16:54:05

Josieann

I am so happy to be back in a place where I can pop in regularly and people do the same to me. It never happened in London mainly because everyone around me was so busy. My house here is top to bottom glass across the front, so difficult to hide. The dog is pretty good at alerting me if someone is coming up the drive, giving me time to brush my hair! I like it.

josieann
Thank goodness for your post ?
This thread has certainly born out the view that people all over the world have of us: insular.
Well not me or Josieann ?

Jaylou Wed 09-Mar-22 16:44:55

I need notice of visitors. I always like to present a tidy house, but I need time to make it tidy!

Hithere Wed 09-Mar-22 16:32:58

By, not my

Hithere Wed 09-Mar-22 16:32:49

Big no no because I want to be a good hostess and dedicate my full attention to my guest.

My dropping by, I cannot do that.

Luckygirl3 Wed 09-Mar-22 16:20:56

They are all welcome. If I am busy, I can say so; and if I am not, I have a lovely time!

luluaugust Wed 09-Mar-22 16:09:22

I would always make contact before visiting. I have written before about dropping by to see an old friend (years ago now) and finding a neighbour there who must have thought I had gatecrashed, never again, I like to check I am welcome.

Georgesgran Wed 09-Mar-22 15:42:56

25 miles away - so almost an hour driving time.

Georgesgran Wed 09-Mar-22 15:41:35

I’m afraid I like to have my calendar in order a week in advance and my friends know that. It sounds very boring, but that way I don’t double book or let friends down.
I’m not keen on ‘poppers inners’ and like a bit of warning to check the calendar to see if
I’m needed for DGS1’s pre-school pick up 2miles away or if I need to get DD2’s dogs out while it’s still daylight, etc.

Ailidh Wed 09-Mar-22 15:30:18

I loathe people popping in, and would never do it to anyone.

DiscoDancer1975 Wed 09-Mar-22 15:28:33

I hate it too, and likewise, I would never call on anyone else unexpectedly.

Years ago, when I was a child, in the sixties, our back door was always unlocked. We called our neighbour Mrs. Yoo hoo! Obvious reasons.

All my doors have been firmly locked all our married life.

nadateturbe Wed 09-Mar-22 15:21:44

It sounds a lovely idea in theory. But no I hate it. My sister and her husband popped in when I was having a bad M E. day..in dressing gown, unwashed, hair a mess. I felt worse by the time they left. I wouldn't call on people without asking if it's convenient

sandelf Wed 09-Mar-22 15:16:31

Fine - but only 'popping'. Just a five minute and then off away. IF you mean to land in for half the day - be polite and check before!

Curlywhirly Wed 09-Mar-22 15:15:57

I'd rather people text/phone first to let me know they are dropping in, but wouldn't hide or deny people entry if they just turned up. However, Ì do always contact people if I want to call in and see them.

Grandmabatty Wed 09-Mar-22 15:12:00

It used to annoy me when family popped in without warning. Now I live alone and the worst offenders are no longer here. I miss that spontaneity.