Squabbles about inheritance

Don't get me started. Second marriages are the biggest and worst scenarios.

Had real problems with my Mum's Will. It was originally split between me and my sister
. My sister died unexpectedly before my Mum who then wanted to amend her Will to reflect the change in circumstances. The solicitor dragged his heels and to cut a long story short, my Mum died suddenly and we had no end of hassle. The unpleasant behaviour of some of the "in-laws" has caused me to go no contact with some of them. My Will needs amending and when I do it, I am placing a letter of wishes with it to explain why I have made (or not made) certain bequests.

Step families can be a pain as we found out when DM died. Step Dad was not at all with it as he had just lost the woman he referred to as ‘the love of his life’! My youngest step brother on the day DM died took DD to the Solicitors & got them to give him Power of Attorney over DD’s affairs! DD had no idea what it was about at the time! Step brother also wanted DM’s will changed so that he inherited everything regardless of his siblings & us step relations! He was told in no uncertain terms that as DM had been of sound mind when the will was made at the solicitors this would not be done! Not a happy time as the money grabber kept trying to get more than had been left to him when DD died soon after! Thankfully have not heard from him since! I have no property to leave but have only my DS who gets all my rubbish to do with as he pleases! If I had any property a proper will would have been made at a solicitors. As is just a will form from the Post Office a few years ago just in case anyone should crawl out of the woodwork!

I came from a very large family but we did not have any dispute when my dad passed away.

He left us with 2 properties, a family home in our country of origin and a large bungalow which he built himself on this land that he inherited from his father in his hometown across the border.

We sold the family home and shared the proceeds, clubbed together and did the bungalow up and let our eldest sister, her husband and their three young children live there free of charge. They were very poor and were moving from one rental place to another.

There was enough land for each of us to build our small retirement home there, should we wish to.

However, I am shocked by the behaviour of some of my cousins. Instead of being thankful they inherited land and wealth they did not have to work for, they become more greedy - harassed and stopped other cousins from building on land that was rightfully theirs or persuade other cousin to rent their property to them and when they moved in they then claimed that property as their own.

When my uncle died, apparently his wife had promised all of her relations the house (not in a will). The house was built for my uncle and his first wife who sadly died. 2nd wife also died before my uncle. When he was put in a care home, the staff banned 2nd wife's relations - they kept coming with wills for him to sign!! Even at his funeral they were trying to get my sisters and myself to sign over in their favour! They had keys. to the house and had already raided it! Needless to say ww haven't heard from them since. There wasn't that much to fight over but we still made sure our cousin in Canada got her share!

My grandparents set up a trust fund for great grand children they never met so that they would be provided for and have a good education (something very important to both grandparents). My father left money in his will to be added to the trust funds for university, homes etc and all 5 grandchildren have benefitted from this legacy. My 3 know that I have stated in my will that anything I have is to be sold and split among three charities and they are happy about this.

Kryptonite: do urge your Mum to see a solicitor. It’s well known that lawyers make much more money from the problems that arise with home-made wills than they do from writing ‘proper’ ones. You can already see trouble brewing and I can see court proceedings ahead, which would cost a lot and tear the family apart. Don’t rely on a home-made will that you’re ‘sure is ok legally’. This situation needs professional assistance.

i know someone who has just gone through this, both married in there 40s she had 6 kids all grown up and he had 3 all grown up, so just the two of them, he retired early and she kept working for another 15 years, she done all the house and paid for all the new furnishings, the house was in both there names and he died last year, his kids were entitled to a third of his moveable estate, scottish law (not sure about england), his three girls were all rubbing there hands thinking they would get the house to sell, as it turned out they were only entitled to what he had in the bank and an insurance policy, so they got 5 grand each, they are livid and want to take it to court but this was all done through a lawyer and took 10 months to sort out. now 3 different lawyers have told the women that what they got was correct, they are all trying to make life hell for this woman who is now 80, she has already told them that when she dies then the house will be sold and split 8 ways, still not good enough for them.

and often the house has to be sold anyway to pay the inheritance tax.

I have to say I admire your step mum fuseta and wish both my mum and brother had been honourable.

Mum and stepdad's wills were that when whoever was left died, everything would be equally divided between my brother, me and our step brother. Following his death, my mum cut him out.

I was horrified and told her so because she was going against his wishes. He'd have been mortified that she did this to his son and then to me.

Tragically my stepbrother died before my mum so thankfully never knew.

Sadly, going through this at the moment, people I thought had standards and morals now appear totally amoral liars. So sad, the person we lost would be utterly and absolutely mortified.

Anyone who wants to make a will which may be contentious do seek legal advice and get it properly drawn up, well even if simple get advice
When I made a will after being left by now ex the solicitor made sure there was a clause explaining why he was not included in it so that if I had died he couldn't dispute it
For those whose situation with maybe a child who never bothered with them -hard, assuming the caring child was doing it for love and not in hope of a windfall, and that the non helpful one was not helpful for good reasons a disabled child it would seem far to be split equally, if the helpful one was prevented by caring responsibilities from getting a good career and buying their own house, it doesn't seem just that the other sinking should benefit leaving carer in a poor situation
What you can't count on is anyone behaving honorably, when push comes to shive, it might happen but greed often takes over, make sure it is written down
If you suspect one if your children will 'piss it up the wall ' or otherwise genuinely waste it, I can understand someone leaving a small amount and the great of the share to any children

My Dad passed away 9 years ago and everything went to my stepmother. Then, as she has 2 adult children herself and I have a brother, the arrangement is that everything should be split 4 ways, when she dies, which was fair. However, as my brother lived close to them at the time, my Dad's dying wish was that he should look after my Stepmother and make sure she was alright, however a year later he fell out with my Stepmother over a trivial thing and has never seen her since. My Stepmother is really hurt by this and says she feels like cutting him out of the will, but doesn't like to go against the arrangements that she and my Dad made together. I have begged my brother to make it up with her, but he is so stubborn and he refuses. In this particular case, I feel that he has a bit of a cheek if he accepts a quarter of her estate, when he has treated her so badly. I don't interfere though as it isn't up to me.

In reply to Kryptonite, I would say you really need to speak to a solicitor. Your brother who thinks he can’t be ‘turfed out’ as he’s lived in the family home for a while is absolutely wrong. He may be confusing the right to live in local authority housing. It’s a straightforward process to find out the rules now and save so much worry later on.

I am an only child with an only child. Dad passed all went to mum, mum passed all came to me.
However one of my uncles commented to another brother "wonder how much we are all going to get out of her will ?" He actually believed he was in the will. He hadnt seen his sister in about twenty years and didn't correspond with her. He had lived in another country for about 35 years. So so weird. Mum also detested him

My inheritance was water tight thanks to father's will so when Ma died we had 50/50 split but didn't stop nasty sib. Trying to stiff me out of £20k worth shares! I tracked them down with help of stockbroker dealing with the will .so, inheritance? We're spending ours!! All 4DS say don't need or want anything, so I'm leaving the LOT to the one who I know loves me and has stayed close and loving no matter what! If others don't like it-tough, maybe they should have been a bit less selfish with their behaviours when they had chance!!

My Mum wanted to leave my sister out of her Will because she doesn't like the way my sister spends her own money. Although my sister and I are no longer close, I couldn't sit there and let me Mum do that. My sister would have been devastated and it would have been one more knife to the heart from the grave. As I was helping my Mum decide write her Will, I suggested that it would put me in a difficult position if she did that and would look like I had influenced her. Eventually Mum gave in and I managed to persuade her to treat her children and grandchildren equally. As it happens, once we've paid for her care fees, it will be peanuts but at least it will be a fair handful!

If you want to preserve family then either leave them all out or split fairly.

Probably coming in too late but this valuable thread reminded me of a much loved mate who said his will would read :

"I, X X, being of sound mind, have spent the lot."

That's the right attitude Sparkly. I was disinherited by my mum, due no doubt to my brother's influence not that there was much left anyway.

I can't say I was surprised TBH and feel sorry for anyone whose so selfish.

We had a taste of this when my Mum died. My youngest brother died many years before and we’d stayed close to his widow and their daughter. However, his widow remarried (to a very nice man) but became very interested in money. Some close family members of hers had died and left her sizeable inheritances, which is great, but she became interested in Mum’s finances and will. A few months before Mum died SIL really offended her so Mum removed her from the will, making sure that her granddaughter got a small amount of money. After Mum died SIL kept ringing me in tears, saying no one had been in touch about the contents of the will, and even getting her teenage daughter to ring me (it was always me because I think I’m seen as a pushover). I took some pleasure in telling my niece that he’d been told about her inheritance and that her Mum should speak to my brother as he was executor. We’ve had little contact since.

I should add, my brother is not a proper 'carer'. The proceeds of the house sale are meant to be divided among all the siblings equally.

I have been left out of being given the share of grandparents estates. I didn’t complain nor enquire, I had their love and if it has pleased some to be spiteful, I leave them to it.

Love you can’t buy, I prefer to remember them that way.

My mother has a homemade will, which we are sure is ok legally. My brother, who lives at home, seems to think (according to another brother) he will inherit the family home because he's been living there for so long and can't be 'turfed out'. No one has any intention of doing that. He is already inheriting all the cash. I've no idea if he has the right to live there indefinitely should my mum go. The house is in her name only. If anyone can enlighten me ...