Squabbles about inheritance

When my uncle died, apparently his wife had promised all of her relations the house (not in a will). The house was built for my uncle and his first wife who sadly died. 2nd wife also died before my uncle. When he was put in a care home, the staff banned 2nd wife's relations - they kept coming with wills for him to sign!! Even at his funeral they were trying to get my sisters and myself to sign over in their favour! They had keys. to the house and had already raided it! Needless to say ww haven't heard from them since. There wasn't that much to fight over but we still made sure our cousin in Canada got her share!

I came from a very large family but we did not have any dispute when my dad passed away.

He left us with 2 properties, a family home in our country of origin and a large bungalow which he built himself on this land that he inherited from his father in his hometown across the border.

We sold the family home and shared the proceeds, clubbed together and did the bungalow up and let our eldest sister, her husband and their three young children live there free of charge. They were very poor and were moving from one rental place to another.

There was enough land for each of us to build our small retirement home there, should we wish to.

However, I am shocked by the behaviour of some of my cousins. Instead of being thankful they inherited land and wealth they did not have to work for, they become more greedy - harassed and stopped other cousins from building on land that was rightfully theirs or persuade other cousin to rent their property to them and when they moved in they then claimed that property as their own.

Step families can be a pain as we found out when DM died. Step Dad was not at all with it as he had just lost the woman he referred to as ‘the love of his life’! My youngest step brother on the day DM died took DD to the Solicitors & got them to give him Power of Attorney over DD’s affairs! DD had no idea what it was about at the time! Step brother also wanted DM’s will changed so that he inherited everything regardless of his siblings & us step relations! He was told in no uncertain terms that as DM had been of sound mind when the will was made at the solicitors this would not be done! Not a happy time as the money grabber kept trying to get more than had been left to him when DD died soon after! Thankfully have not heard from him since! I have no property to leave but have only my DS who gets all my rubbish to do with as he pleases! If I had any property a proper will would have been made at a solicitors. As is just a will form from the Post Office a few years ago just in case anyone should crawl out of the woodwork!

Had real problems with my Mum's Will. It was originally split between me and my sister
. My sister died unexpectedly before my Mum who then wanted to amend her Will to reflect the change in circumstances. The solicitor dragged his heels and to cut a long story short, my Mum died suddenly and we had no end of hassle. The unpleasant behaviour of some of the "in-laws" has caused me to go no contact with some of them. My Will needs amending and when I do it, I am placing a letter of wishes with it to explain why I have made (or not made) certain bequests.

Don't get me started. Second marriages are the biggest and worst scenarios.

I had an aunt and uncle who had a good deal of money. They had one son who had two children. When they died their son’s children sued their father because they felt the inheritance that their grandparents left to them WASN’T ENOUGH!!

My sister, I actually hate referring her as that, never visited or did anything for my mum for years. After my father died, who was constantly paying off loan sharks, etc for her secretly behind my mum's back, she cut all ties because the bank of dad had gone.
When my mum died she never even went to her funeral, but yet 5 weeks later a solicitors letter arrived asking to see the will because she wanted to know what she was 'entitled to'. I've never met anyone as heartless in my life. The ties shall remain forever cut.

My father, God love him, left me £200. No house to sell, because it was rented. He was a lovely, decent man!

An old friend had her mother living with her for 20 years, brother came up from London occasionally. Mother insisted it was only fair to split her savings equally. When she died kind brother insisted that his sister kept it all.
On the other hand my ex husband persuaded his dying aunt to change her will to cut out our son from her will. Son now refers to him as his biological parent.

Sago

Where there’s a will there’s a relative!

I was the only one that did anything for my narcissistic mother. I had had to go to the COP to get Deputyship, I dealt with all her affairs, the nursing home who wanted “top up” fees,her finances that were all over the place, I had two years of enormous stress that caused me to have panic attacks.

I knew that I was not a beneficiary in the will but did it all whilst trying to make sure that I could hang onto as much money as possible from her estate.
I cleared her house on my own, worked hard to get a private sale to save agents fees.
My three children were among the beneficiaries and they all thanked me for all I had done, the other beneficiaries didn’t even acknowledge their huge bank transfers.

My brother was the Golden Child, who did nothing for years, not even a Christmas card for her, I was the scapegoat.

At least I know that I always behaved honourably and honestly.

You do sound bitter though, even though your children were benefiting. It does explain your cruel remark on my previous post.

Well done you Sago, don't think I could be that noble.

When I lived in France, where the law is different (law of succession whereby children inherit ....) my late husband died which meant I either had to buy my step daughter out, or sell and by law she had half. I called her in the UK when her father was given only a few days to live and asked her to come as he would like to see her before he died. She is single, no children, not working, has two cats and no 'boyfriend or partner .... living in a flat an inheritance from her late grandmother helped to buy, (which she sold, in London for £350,000 and bought a much cheaper flat on the
coast (the inheritance was left to my late husband and his late wife ...but he gave it to her so she could afford to buy her flat in Westminster many years ago much cheaper than she sold it for !) She said she was too busy to come to France (although I offered to pay the fare, pick her up from the airport as I usually did !) however she declined to come...THEN when he died, first thing she said was Do I get my half ? I can come over and sign anything !) I was FURIOUS ...she could come over for the money but NOT to see her father when he was dying !!!!!!!!!111 luckily the Notaire was on my side, and ensured she got the absolute minimum he could by law give her !!!! she said she was going to contest it...my notaire said French law has no option for this, and she can try but it will cost her far more than she has been given, and may take two or three years and she will end up OWING the French government money (plus she would have to employ an Advocat at vast expense, as well as going back and forth to France. I NO LONGER keep in touch with her ...can't forgive her for that !

I have 4 children and they will inherit equally regardless of who's done what . I would never want to cause problems between them after my death . Awful thread !

f77ms

I have 4 children and they will inherit equally regardless of who's done what . I would never want to cause problems between them after my death . Awful thread !

Indeed.

We're leaving equal shares to our 4 daughters, no matter who is easier to get on with at moment. We love them unconditionally and wouldn't want to make them feel unloved from the grave.

To do other could cause a squabble, we're not our children getting on.

Really * we're about our children getting on.

Mistype above

Money really is the root of all evil, people fall out whilst at tge funeral. My dad had the right idea, spend the lot.

My friend was quite wealthy and spent last 10 years of her life in a care home. She left over a million to her housekeeper. Her will stated that £1.000 (for anyone who had visited her in the home ) per visit would go to any person that had visited her. Two sons and a nephew tried to overturn the will in court. Judge asked them how many times they had visited her. On hearing that they hadn’t seen my friend in years, judge said they were not entitled to a penny. The housekeeper had visited nearly every day.

Something similar happened in DH's family, Piskey, although no large sums were involved. A childless aunt had made a will leaving her estate to her nephew on the understanding he would act towards her as a good son would. He didn't, but one of her neighbours did and when she died it was found that she had revised her will and left her whole estate to the neighbour, who had been such a kind and caring friend, cutting out her nephew completely.

Two of my three daughters don't get on with each other for various justifiable reasons. However my late husband always wanted anything we had left to be shared 30% to each girl and 10% to grandchildren. My house is in a trust so half of it officially already does. I have changed my will so that the majority of any residue estate will go to the grandchildren. All 9 of my beneficiaries are well aware of the fact I am I tending to spend enough to keep myself safe, and happy. If there's nothing left then sobeit. I'm 70 and if I'm lucky have at least 10 years to go.

Yes. Hate this grabbing behaviour. We have a will that leaves everything equally between two daughters. There is no bequest for grandchildren as their parents will give them what they judge to be right. In this way there is no bad feeling if one has several children and another none or one. Should either not survive then the money will go to her children or in the case of the daughter without children it would revert to our other daughter.

I use my will to terrorise my children. if they displease me I tell them that I will cut them out of my will.

By the way, before anyone takes the above sentence seriously it is a joke, Yes I do as it says, but only as a joke, and AC know it is.

I'm really not interested in possesions,but,when my MIL died recently my SIL grabbed everything she could from the house including ALL the jewellery that MIL had promised to my D and gd's and her GF's violin which was to go to my OH.The sad thing is she'll put it in her already stuffed attic and it will never see the light of day whereas my OH would have had it refurbished and hung it on the wall .The jewellery has angered my D as her girls would have loved a keepsake from Nana who they adored.
SIL says ...her mum ... so they are her things .

vickymeldrew and Germanshepherdsmum thank you very much for your advice. ?

There was an interesting article in the paper to-day about the problems caused by DIY wills . So many things can go wrong they are a false economy .

They sure are. But people are told it’s easy and they believe it. If it was so straightforward why would solicitors have to study for years? The size of my textbook on the subject had to be seen to be believed. It was an incredibly complex subject. People really have no idea of the mess they can leave behind.