De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Most of it isn't really mine either! Toys from DC, stuff from MIL's house so not really mine to dispose of.

My house has never been so messy, as decluttering has had to go on pause. Boxes, pikes, mess every where. It is really annoying me so as soon as I can manage it, I need to get on with it again. It is no good people saying there is no rush. I need to have a tidier home.

Callistemon21

Sigh.

Onwards and upwards - to the little bedroom which seems to be full of clutter moved from elsewhere!

All my bedrooms were like that. It is a case of too many ‘things’, coupled with a difficulty in working out which to get rid of and which to find a home for. I’m reluctant to get more storage furniture, as all that does is put things out of sight. I really need to make some difficult decisions and rationalise it all.

I feel frustrated by it, and guilty that the situation has arisen at all. Whilst I know that it has taken 25 years to accumulate the clutter (longer, really, as some of it came with us to this house), I am also aware that two people shouldn’t have more items than easily fit into a four bedroom house - it’s ridiculous. I’m sure that I will feel psychologically better, as well as the house looking aesthetically better when I eventually get it to where I want it to be.

Fancythat, the space behind you, a big plant perhaps?

I had to restrain myself in the supermarket this morning, had to stop myself buying too many christmas nibbles. My stashing brain was hyper-active, that brain from a long time ago ie get the christmas bits into the cupboard just in case it snows and I am snowed in, again. Whatever the reason, my instinct is still to shop for a family. I didn`t and was glad at the checkout when I needed to hand over £93 for very little

It isn`t just about de-cluttering, it is about not making more clutter and that might even be food-based

Something I read a long time ago before I started decluttering was that you need to get rid of the 'who I used to be' to make room for the 'who I am now'. Which made a lot of sense to me when I thought about it.

Most of the stuff I've got rid of over the last three years has been stuff needed for hobbies I haven't done for a long time. I haven't been scuba diving for over 15 years but yesterday I was still getting rid of scuba diving gear. My motorcycle helmet and jacket were still sitting downstairs until last year although I haven't had a motorbike for about twenty years. I think it just takes me (a long, long) time to accept that I'm not the person I used to be because I used to like being that person. Very philosophical for a Friday morning.

It isn`t just about de-cluttering, it is about not making more clutter and that might even be food-based

I think I tried to make this point a long time ago and didn’t get very far, so it is reassuring to read this @Karma
Filling the freezer with things that then never get eaten, stores to survive a nuclear winter in the kitchen cupboards, extra tins or jars in the garage or loft, shopping for that family we used to be.
One person’s stockpiling can become another person’s hoarding and with a very few exceptions, few of us live so far from shops/internet shopping /even a convenience shop to need to do this any more.
But it is sometimes hard to remember that the “chicks have flown the nest”

That is spot on, AWTY. I went through a massive suitcase last night (why I had one that size is beyond me - it wasn't even on wheels, so I couldn't possibly have carried it) and found a lot of hippy clothes in size 8-10. Obviously I struggled to get rid of them 30 years ago and packed them away then. It was quite poignant remembering the days when I could fit into them and was young enough to carry them off. Neither is true now.

I kept a dress that was from Afghanistan before the Taliban, and a Wrangler denim shirt that might come in for someone one day. The dress is too special to donate in case whoever buys it doesn't realise where it is from, and the shirt won't date but will get more desirable as time goes by. All the rest is bagged and waiting to go to the charity shop. I won't ever be that woman again. It's not that I thought I was, or that I'm not happy how I am now, but it does need a mindshift somehow.

Another example is that I kept a lot of textbooks when I sorted the books. I will be re-rationalising the books when I get my bedrooms back, and think I will get rid of them, too. I have accepted that I don't need them, and may as well get rid of them before they are too far out of date to be useful to anyone. The cookbooks are going too. The weekend after next is pencilled in for that purge.

Sindy kitchen anyone?
Or Virgil's Aeneid? Come to think of it, perhaps the present Queen might like the story of Camilla 😁

I am not a jeans person any more, they have all gone.

But it is sometimes hard to remember that the “chicks have flown the nest”
And when they do come back, their food tastes may have changed drastically.

Havent they just. And the gc tastes keep changing too.
I used to write lists of likes and dislikes, but the lists are out of date in about 6 months.
Nowadays, before they come, I just ask for their current tastes.

Plant. Thank you.
I dont have many of those either. But a DD gave me a sort of fake one that is scented. That could fit there. Thanks.

I've been reading rather than posting but taking inspiration from so many. Today I resolved to be more ruthless. I have a tiny cottage style house and need to make more space. When I cleared my parents home I kept only a very few pieces that I loved and meant something to me, the rest all went to charities in their area, some distance from me. My stumbling block has been hanging on to things they gave me while they were alive, even things I've never liked or once liked but my tastes have changed. I've decided there is no point to retaining them so shall say a happy goodbye and pass them to the charity shops. I will not be off-loading any on to my children, who'd likely be honest enough to say "no thanks" anyway 🤣

I agree Maw but my last home was in a village with no shop. 2010 we were suddenly snowed in and it lasted for six whole weeks, no way out, too dangerous, too slippery and we lived on my food storage

The area around my present house does not get cleared of snow so there is still a bit of that storage need here. However I am now storing a lot less, I suppose that is even more important since I arrived at the `old` category. I am working at it, truly it is a jumble of past experiences, not least starting from a childhood when there was very little money

I never had a Sindy kitchen but did have a toy one. Sadly I never learnt to cook until I left home as DM was a 'get out from under my feet' sort of cook but I did storming hot water, bread and butter and uncooked biscuit high tea.

Four more bags have gone to the charity shop this morning, and we are about to start clearing out the second biggest bedroom. Joy.

Rather proud of myself toda. My partner took a load of stuff to the tip today. It included a dehumidifier that stopped working recently. I would usually have kept it thinking that I’d ‘get someone to look at it with a view to fixing it’ and it would have remained on the landing for years. And a child car seat that I bought 13 years ago. Kept thinking someone might need it but, even though it was a very expensive one no one wants car seats of that age and charity shops won’t take them. I feel terrible guilt about throwing out things like that. Also lots of paint that I’d decanted into jars. From now on I will only buy small tins of paint.

During the Winter months, when it’s often too wet to garden, I will be decluttering the cupboards under the stairs, the ‘games’ cupboard, the shelf full of used candles in pretty jars, the garage, a drawer in the chest, housing all manner of items, and I’ll register with ‘Vinted’ to try and sell my ‘mother of the bridegroom’ outfit. I recently disposed of all the out of date makeup, decent underwear which went to rag at the charity shop and old pillows & cushions, which neither local charity shops or animal rescues are taking. I’m still finding it very therapeutic and satisfying. If only my OH did the same, 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well done, MayBee It's definitely a mindset thing, and you'll feel better for seeing the space. Realistically you aren't going to miss a child seat or a broken dehumidifier, so there is no downside.

I made a start on the yarn. The situation is worse than I thought, but the aim is to get it all out of the room so that the decorator can get in, and then sort it as I put it back. I really want to thin it out and store it so that I can find what I'm looking for. I thought I would pack up sweater quantities (they are mostly in sealed bags anyway) and put the others in bags based on colour, so all the greens are together etc.

The carpet for the finished bedroom is coming on Wednesday and being fitted on Thursday. I have ordered a bed, a wardrobe and a bedside table for that room, to arrive after the carpet. I will call the carpet shop as and when the other rooms are ready, and arrange delivery one at a time. I need a new bed for one of them, and furniture for what will be my study (the box room), but I'm doing it a step at a time so that nothing arrives before its room is ready for it.

I have bought light fittings, lamps and curtains, and they are adding to the feeling of living in a skip. The curtains and new light fitting are up in the finished room, so progress is happening. I wish the IKEA ads were real, and I could just snap my fingers and have it all done though

It took me a long time to adjust to just buying food for the two of us. I live in an area likely to be cut off from the convenience shop a couple of miles away and from online deliveries for a few days in a really bad winter, but I have gradually become used to having enough to see us through a couple of weeks, which is more than enough should we be unable to shop for any reason. The siege mentality took a while to shake off but has gone now. And I have space in my larder cupboards and in the freezer!

I still cook for four, even though it's been ten years since four people lived here.

I've started getting 3 Hello Fresh meals a week to try them. They are quite good, as you cook them fresh, as the name suggests, and they are portioned for you, so there is nothing to throw away. We had Spiced Roasted Veg and Harissa Lentil Jumble tonight (I have a meeting later so we ate early) and they sent sweet potatoes, an aubergine, lentils, baby tomatoes, a garlic bulb, harissa paste, greek yogurt and feta. There are step by step instructions, and the portions are generous for two people. It is 'real cooking', rather than using sauces in jars, and definitely not a ready meal, and the ones we've had so far have been really tasty. You choose the meals you want, so don't get sent unwanted items, and you can skip weeks as often as you like.

I know what you mean about the siege mentality. When lockdown struck we could have survived for months on what was in the cupboard, but I have used up a fair bit, and yes, it's good to have a bit more space.

I’ve just ate some mushrooms from the freezer that I froze in spring 2022. Haven’t killed me thus far but I do cook them with brandy. I’ve got a lot of chicken stock that I’d better not use. Going to be far more organised with my freezer contents in future. Going to go through the frozen vegetables tonight and put the ancient ones in the green bin. I tend to hang onto them because I assume it’s better to keep the freezer full. I’ve cleaned and rearranged the dresser but my daughters things have gone back in for now.

During lockdown we had a cupboard and a fridge-freezer in the garage full of stock. We kept up the habit of having plenty of spares. When DH died, quite a lot went to the food bank or to family. I live two minutes from a certain budget supermarket and seven minutes from independent shops, so I just have enough extras in case of ill health or foul weather.
I am hoping to get back to a bit of sorting now my injury is on the mend. My son took a desk away yesterday so the contents of drawers needs to be sorted.
I keep forgetting that I ought to take three or four items to the charity shop each time I go into the town.

Having had to clear my kitchen because of the flour mites and then having to clear the dresser due to the mould I can’t believe how much stuff is hidden away behind closed doors or drawers! And why is it when you take it all out of those drawers and cupboards they expand in size and then won’t fit back in. I have dead wood lice everywhere, mainly where the carpets touch the walls.

Put it in a room you don't use for twelve months, if you don't miss it, get rid. Every time you buy something dispose of something. I just wish I could sell on line, it all goes to the charity shop. I have gone a little far I think, the house is looking quite bare in some areas. I don't miss any of the clothes that filled four wardrobes, I became a secret clothes buyer after my husband died, what a waste of my energy and time, most if it I didn't wear, I was lonely and it helped at the time though. Things I didn't feel good in now all gone, but I like what I have now.

Put it in a room you don't use for twelve months, if you don't miss it, get rid. Every time you buy something dispose of something. I just wish I could sell on line, it all goes to the charity shop.
Yeah, that's the advice that people give in magazines and FB reels etc. Who has rooms they don't use for 12 months where they would see the quarantined items? And if you put something where you don't see it - in a spare bedroom or the loft and forgot it was there, you may well have bought another one by the time the year was out, so when you find it you have two . Similarly, the 'one in one out' advice may work for those who are better able to throw things away than others, but if you struggle with getting rid of presents, or from thinking that things might come in useful it just doesn't. It's really not as simple as that for many of us.

I could say to you 'Just sell it online - it's easy', but that would be disrespectful as it doesn't take account of the circumstances prevent you from doing that, even though they wouldn't apply to me.

I don't miss any of the clothes that filled four wardrobes, I became a secret clothes buyer after my husband died, what a waste of my energy and time, most if it I didn't wear, I was lonely and it helped at the time though. Things I didn't feel good in now all gone, but I like what I have now.
I do think that mindset is important, and that it becomes easier when we work out what it is that gets in the way of our personal reasons for having too much 'stuff'. Recognising that the clothes you bought were to make you feel better in a bad time is a big step, as you can get rid of them knowing that they served a purpose once, but you don't need them now so they can go. I got rid of wardrobes full of work clothes and evening wear. It has freed up a lot of space, but I'd struggled to do it before as deep down I must have thought I might go back to work/lose a stone/have a more active social life again - basically that I wasn't 'past it'. When I accepted that I won't, and that I don't really want to, I gave them to charity and hope that the dresses at least will give someone a lift over the party season. Also, the thought that if I do need an evening dress I will get a nice new one that is in fashion now and will fit me properly is reassuring. You (generic) have to get to that state of mind in your own way, though.

Anyway. We are making some progress. The carpet in the back bedroom goes in today, and the bed arrives on Saturday. The wardrobe for that room is awaiting delivery. I have ordered but put on hold the furniture for what was my daughter's room. I asked for early December, but can call them to rearrange if that doesn't work (from the asylum, most likely - it should all be over by then ) and the desk and bookcase for what will be the study is on order too.

When all the rooms are ready and we can start putting things back I will have another purge. The new wardrobes are smaller than the old, so I won't get everything in them, but that's ok. There were some things that made the cut by the skin of their teeth last time, and when I see them in the context of the things that were first choice I think I'll be more inclined to let them go. After Christmas I will do another sweep, and try to organise things so that it's easier to remember what is in which wardrobe. I won't have time to do that before the holidays.

I don't understand what makes people into the sort of hoarder that has piled up food cartons blocking the access to rooms, or dangerous stacks of newspapers lying around, but they clearly have some sort of need to do that. Nobody wants to live in clutter, whether it is low level as we're talking about on here (too many clothes in wardrobes and too much yarn on shelves, or at the level where it is insanitary and only psychiatric help can make it better.

Sorry - that was a bit of an essay. This thread is taking the place of a decluttering journal .

Well. I have four binbags and one of those underbed storage things waiting to be collected tomorrow. All filled with yarn🧶

When I saw it all together I realised I'd have to live to 100 to knit it all up, and that if I'd really wanted to knit with it I would have done it by now. I sorted it out and found some things I'd forgotten I had, and some that I know I won't use, so it's going to a local recycling hub, where it will be made into 'things'.

I ordered new storage bags to put the 'keepers' into, and they are supposed to be arriving tomorrow. I can be sorting that in the evenings, ready to put it back on the shelves when the room is finished.

I have also got three half bags of cookbooks sorted (they are too heavy to fill a bag), and will add to those tomorrow, as they are being collected on Wednesday.

I slept in an actual bed last night!! After two weeks on the sofa it was amazing. The back bedroom is finished - it just needs the wardrobe to be delivered, but it is painted, has a new carpet, a new bed, light fitting and lamp. Our room is finished, but the wardrobes need to be put back in place, and the carpet fitted before we can put the bed back.

Two more bedrooms to go. The next one is what was my daughter's room, which has painted walls, so the plaster won't come off with the paper as it did in our room. That shouldn't take too long. The final one is the box room, which is tiny, so will take longer to dry between coats than to actually paint. There is finally some light at the end of the tunnel. The kitchen fitters come on Thursday though, so it's out of the frying pan into the fire.