De-cluttering, the never-ending process

I'm feeling rather overwhelmed after reading much of this thread! DH will be retiring next year, but we're soon to complete on what will be our new home in the UK. We've been living/working overseas for many years and we've accumulated so much stuff during that time, which I won't want to take back with me, and I don't know where to begin! Not only that, we have our old house in the UK still to sell, which also has so much stuff in it to get rid of, from old furniture, to a loft full of goodness knows what! We still have all my ACs toys, etc. up in the loft from when they were kids! I dread to think what I'll find up there!

I've been procrastinating on this huge task for far too long, but I really must make a proper start now. I did embark on the task a few months ago, and started to sort out my DDs old bedroom (she has her own home now in the UK with her fiance, and just visits occasionally), but it already seems to have accumulated more 'stuff'! It seems to be a bit of a dumping ground for when I don't know where to put 'stuff'!

I'm off upstairs right now, with many large black bin bags, to tackle my own bedroom. I am not looking forward to this! Wish me luck!

It is a huge task, no doubt about it. I wish you well.

Do you want to keep everything that is in the UK house? If not, and you just want it cleared so you can sell it, what about getting in a house clearance company? That way you’d only need to think about what to bring back with you and you won’t end up with two of everything.

My MIL died at the end of December and the amount of stuff to get rid of is unbelievable.They moved in in 1977 and apart from the weekly refuse collection I don’t think they have thrown anything away🤦🏼‍♀️We decluttered in lockdown but seeing MIL’s house I realise I need to do more.

Unfortunately my husbands sister doesn’t want to throw anything away so after a week of not getting very far we have come home.DH has told her very nicely to pack everything up and take it to her house.

It’s a sad and heartbreaking situation and not one we want our children to have to face.

We will be back to MIL’s house in a few weeks.We have asked all family members to go and take what they would like then sadly it will be a skip and then a house clearance.

The loss of his mum and now the massive task of sorting her house has taken its toll on DH.If you can declutter please do it and save your children the heartbreak.

Thank you, Cabbie21. I managed to make a start today and sorted out my bathroom, and my dressing table area ... a whole black bag of 'stuff' to throw away already!

Doodledog, pretty much everything in the UK house will be going, apart from any sentimental items, which is ridiculous as they'll probably just end up in our new loft!LoL
My father passed away during Covid, and that was quite a task too. The house clearance companies were charging a fortune, so what didn't go to family went in a skip! I think that will be the case with us, as the furniture is so old and dated. Plus, we have a houseful of furniture here to ship back!

Susan56, I can understand how your SiL feels. It's very difficult letting go of your parents belongings, and all the memories. Thankfully, my lovely DD sorted most of my dad's, so I didn't have to deal with that. Otherwise, I'd be hanging on to another house full of 'stuff' to sort out!

Nansnet
I dont know if it would help, but on one of the property programmes, a family had to do a big declutter. The presenter made them put everything outside, and then decide, if it were to rain quickly, which things would you grab to save and take indoors.
Obviously it was a nice weather day when that happened!

Forgot to add, it took about 12 tv crew to help as well.

Was that Stacey Solomon fancythat? I think she's great - funny, non judgemental and empathetic. Exactly who you would love as a decluttering buddy.

No. Though she may have done that as well.
The programme I watched was an older one of Phil and Kirsty. Love it or list it. Series 4 or series 5? I can find out which if you want me to.
The family were trying to "spend their way out of the clutter" as one of the presenters put it.

I agree about Stacey.

I hadnt watched either programme, until a friend mentioned the Stacey one and thought I would enjoy it. And I came across the Phil and Kirsty one quite recently, so am working my way through.

Thankyou Fancythat, I'm happy to re watch Love it or List it too. I find this programme fascinating , all of the emotions bound up with staying/leaving a house. Can be true of decluttering too.
Ok, so it's Stacey for decluttering , Phil & Kirsty for home seeking , just need to find someone for decor.!

It's a nightmare for you Susan. I am ruthless at getting rid of stuff because I want to make my daughter's life easier when she has to sort out my house. I do a Swedish death clear every January and I've started this year's. I'll hopefully finish it tomorrow.

fancythat, sounds like a good plan ... if only I had 12 crew to help me! I need someone like Stacey Solomon!

Nansnet ! and !

keepcalmandcavachon - it is Series 5 Episode 6

Thankyou fancythat,noted down!

So many `wake up call` posts for me, especially Susan and Grandmabatty. It does not just happen, this decluttering, it requires mental and physical effort and a resolve to make things easier for our children

I have been stuck. The first big tranches were relatively easy but time and tide wait for no-one and that means personal aging is on-going

Comparatively it was so easy to get rid of the spare crockery, bed linen and so on in the first tranches

I don`t have much room in my kitchen, not much cupboard space, so one tall cupboard is crammed full, a layer at the back and another layer at the front. Some things don`t stack and it looks like a steptoe cupboard, if I sneeze than things will fall out. That needs doing

I have to get back on the treadmill, keep up with de-cluttering. It was another lightbulb moment when I realised that I was squashing things together in bedroom drawers

I need to do one a step at a time because I am a human. First I need to remove the equivalent of a full large drawer in one of two chests of drawers in my bedroom. I will have to take bits from several drawers and combine drawers to get this done. I can only see this happening if I do it via the 3 piles method, keep throw and maybe. I am going to make a start in half an hour

Unfortunately my husband’s sister doesn’t want to throw anything away

It’s difficult when someone dies. There is always ‘stuff’ that nobody wants, but it seems heartless to chuck things away that parents have treasured.

It feels very raw soon after a death, but a few months down the line, your heart hardens and that makes it easier to dispose of items, either charity shop, skip, car boot sales….

At least, that’s what I found.

I am a bit the other way around to some on here.
I have not taken on so much voluntary work lately as in the past, as I saw a window of opportunity to declutter the house. I am more than 4 years through a 5 year go[i am doing it all, and at my own pace].

I have an elderly parent and elderly in laws. They sadly, cannot keep going for ever.

On Saturday, my son and grandson cleared the loft. Well almost:there are still some items up there but I know what they are and can deal with them much later.
I had just about got the house moderately tidy and now there are boxes everywhere. My bins are almost full. I have piles ready to go to charity shops ( there aren’t many where I can park nearby), RSPCA for old blankets and pillows, Oxfam books, antiques/ collectibles and general auction. Enough to justify getting them to collect.
More tubs and boxes to sort today before my stepson comes tomorrow to fill his car. Quite poignant going through boxes of family photos. I hope he will appreciate what an archive they are. His Gran labelled quite a lot of photos which helps. I am sure he won’t want her neat books of accounts, nor his Grandpa’s sermons!

But I will be left with lots of stationery which nobody wants these days. Lovely hard-backed or moleskin-bound books which would make great journals, for those who still write by hand. And paper - lined, squared, white, coloured: maybe a nursery could make use of it? But it is so much work!
My day begins.

If you can find a writers’ group near you they might be glad of the notebooks. Lots of people still love a good notebook- not so much office stationery ones, but fancy ones are in demand.

I know what you and karmalady both mean about it being hard work - it is. But I am now over 2 years into Mission Declutter and Decorate, and life is a lot easier. Decluttering is still tedious and emotionally challenging, but I love having space in cupboards and less ‘stuff’ to deal with. I have yet to really miss anything either. The kitchen has a lot less in it too, and it is definitely worth it.

I have another sort-out of the wardrobes to do. We decorated the bedrooms and replaced a lot of furniture so I sent huge amounts to charity, but much of the ‘not sure’ pile went back in, and items are not necessarily in the right wardrobes. I also need to be ruthless about the pantry. I’d like to have it remodelled, but the next big job is the bathroom so the pantry will have to wait. Maybe next year. If I can get into the habit of gradually sifting through it as I go, the final push should be less daunting though.

Dear Cabbie, you are still in difficult times, I admire your efforts and mindset. One day it will be finished

I believe it is good to be self-aware, to know your personal circadian clock, when you feel most energetic. My time is morning and I mean early morning, the best time for me to tackle the jobs I am dreading. I made that drawer space this morning and have removed stuff that I don`t wear or is only fit for gardening, jeans etc. I safely bagged some layering items that I knitted in wool or cashmere, now safe from moths and stacked the marie kondo way. Layering will be my way forward for my future clothing

I did several drawers and realise that I have enough snag tights, in lovely colours, for years. Good, it means I save money by not buying more. I did not touch a few drawers, I will wait until winter is over

Enough de-cluttering for today or I will get boggled

That sounds like a very productive morning, karmalady. I am just about to start my day now - my rhythms are very much those of a night owl.

I decluttered all the linen drawers in January. As we are going away 3 times this year to places that require own bedding, I'm going to take the old stuff with me and throw it away when we leave. Saves bringing it home.
This month it's kitchen drawers and cupboards getting a clear out. Anything that doesn't match can go.

Getting rid of the linen as you go is a good idea, Joseann, as is having a system for the kitchen. I really need to cull large pots and serving dishes, as most of the time there are just two of us eating, but I have lots of family-sized things. My children don't have space for them (and haven't got families of their own yet), so I can't pass them on just now, but they might want them one day. Realistically it's a bit daft to have the inconvenience of them taking up space in the here and now for the hypothetical possibility of saving a few quid by passing them on in years to come, though.

This is a tricky one. It is not my priority now, but I have lots of pans, casserole dishes, crockery and cutlery which I will only use if I have a number of people round, which is not going to happen very often, but I don’t want lack of the aforementioned to be a reason not to invite people. My children don’t want my stuff.

Mine probably won't either

I know what you mean about not wanting to limit opportunities, but in my case it's less about that, as I have lots of large receptacles from the days when we used to entertain a lot because I've never got rid of them when I've got new ones. I could keep one or two and get rid of others.

At Christmas I decided that when I have lots of people for dinner (currently alternate years) I will get disposable foil trays for potatoes and so on, so I'm not messing about getting huge trays out of corner cupboards and finding that they don't fit in the dishwasher after use. I'm not a fan of disposable anything, but can live with it once in two years, particularly as aluminium can be recycled. I have three huge dishes taking up most of the space in a sideboard that could be better used for other things, and several soup pans when I almost always use the pressure cooker for soup. I need to bite the bullet and get rid of them. I do need a lot of serving dishes, as some of my family are vegetarian and others not, so I tend to make lots of different things, but that also means that I need fewer large dishes, as each offering is in smaller quantities than if we all ate the same.

Some of the difficulty is similar to that which I found with evening clothes - it's accepting that a stage of my life is over and won't come back. This is no longer a family home, and that's difficult to accept, as it's less than ten years since the children moved out, and even then they were students for a chink of that, coming back for holidays and still having here as a base.