De-cluttering, the never-ending process

Oh yes I do empathise with you Hetty58 and it is painful to be getting rid of stuff, so much accumulated from younger and happier times. This getting old malarky is no fun at all and at times it really is hard to go with the flow, to see ourselves as others now see us

I too have lots of wood and very many tools, mainly for wood carving, which I started after I was widowed. I used his tools to start with and added very many more, heyho what was money for, that was my thinking then. So now I have all these tools and am keeping all those expensive gouges tidy and safe under a bed. The rest in the garage, together with dust extractor, sander, sharpener, scrollsaw etc. Lots of good wood in my keter shed, safe and out of sight. I want the strength of mind to sell it all but cannot do it, that would be too much of a psychological break

I cannot really say what was/is easiest to let go of but I think it has to be crockery and clothes

I’m still working my way through my husband’s ‘study’. I’ve re-homed thousands of beautiful books. I’m on his research papers from the books he wrote. I’ve kept copies of his published books. There are hundreds of original paintings, cartoons and copies of his art work. Some will go to friends and family. Doing this alongside grieving is exhausting but - I don’t want to leave our adult children with all this. The unexpected diagnosis and speed of his death reminded me we have no idea what tomorrow brings
I’m also trying to live the best I can -

Iam64

It is a tough old journey

Thanks karma, it really is. I’m not on a journey 🌞. I got fed up with the term when endless new managers used it to dismiss concerns about the organisation. When my husband was diagnosed I had to accept an unexpected difficult path lay ahead and I couldn’t avoid it.
I’m on a pilgrimage. I need faith, i meet people along the way, most of them are kind, sensitive and like you karmalady, recognise it’s tough

I haven't read all eight previous pages of posts so apologies if this has been mentioned already. It's my understanding that Centres which provide support for the homeless are usually pleased to receive warm clothes, especially men's. Socks, boots, shoes, jumpers, underwear, trousers, & coats are especially welcome, as are towels & toiletry supplies. Also sleeping bags. In my experience most towns have a Homeless Centre with a phone number, so you can check when they're open & what they might be able to take/store.

our charity shops do a wonderful job, not just in raising money but in enabling people to do something of value and also to meet other people. I was thinking about their major role last night, a conduit for people to release items that were once cherished from their own homes and from maybe clearing a loved-one`s home. In the process, we help others and a load is lifted from our shoulders

Davidal, good to know that that there is another repository for usable clothing. Same as salvation army does in their work and I have used their convenient donation bins here

So, I’m back home and need to resume my decluttering. However, something happened to me when I was away. I made friends with someone who invited me back to their house for a coffee. It was a very old house, lots of tiny rooms and every one of them filled with delightful eclectic items. It was magical. And it made me think a lot about my magpie tendencies. What I realised is that I live in a seventies box of a house that doesn’t lend itself to clutter. It should be full of MCC stuff. And the problem with my collection of stuff is that I love it and think it’s beautiful but no one ever sees it. Of course, the main point of this thread is to get me to throw out my vast collection of size 12 pants that I’ll never fit into not necessarily my old tin or Ladybird book collection.

Most of my clothes are piled up in a spare room because we're decorating.
I thought I had a clear out a while ago but when you find clothes you forgot you had, it's time to start a huge clear out! 😲

Forget "That might come in useful" or "If I lost half a stone, I'd get into that" !

I agree Callestimon it never comes in useful and I never lose enough weight to fit into things.
We, ve come back from a lovely self-catering holiday.
DH says he is never taking me again.
It was lovely to be in such a stylish minimalist house.
30 day challenge here I come again.
Window sills are now empty except for two jugs of flowers and all mementoes put away.
I have started on my winter wardrobe and anything I have not worn is going.
He has been outside working most of the day in case I put him in the rubbish.
I have found an egg in the dry stone wall that was missed at Easter. Feeling sorry for myself I ate the chocolates and didn't share
As I am 64 said and Karmalady has found it's a tough journey to do for someone else like I had my mother. I will never leave my house for my DD's to work on like I had to.
Sorry for your loss Karmalady, nobody knows what it is like until they have to do it. It is a rough, tough journey and I am going to learn from it.

He has been outside working most of the day in case I put him in the rubbish 😂😂😂
Keep moving, Mr Y!

When we redecorated and had new flooring downstairs a few years ago, I left it looking minimalist for a few weeks but things did creep back.

I’ve spent another two hours going through my husband’s papers. Shredded non essentials. Added to the growing pile of sentimental I can’t part with at this time.

I can hardly begin, now my husband has died, as there is no room anywhere to gather different piles- for recycling, for the homeless charity, for selling, for giving to specific people.

MayBee70

So, I’m back home and need to resume my decluttering. However, something happened to me when I was away. I made friends with someone who invited me back to their house for a coffee. It was a very old house, lots of tiny rooms and every one of them filled with delightful eclectic items. It was magical. And it made me think a lot about my magpie tendencies. What I realised is that I live in a seventies box of a house that doesn’t lend itself to clutter. It should be full of MCC stuff. And the problem with my collection of stuff is that I love it and think it’s beautiful but no one ever sees it. Of course, the main point of this thread is to get me to throw out my vast collection of size 12 pants that I’ll never fit into not necessarily my old tin or Ladybird book collection.

A few months back, someome asked me if I watch the Stacey Solomon Sort Out Your Life programme. At least, I think that is what it is called.
I barely knew it existed and didnt think I would like it. But thought I had better give it a go.
I have found it very helpful in my decluttering process.

Part of it deals with things that people have that they love. And sentimental items.
I cant say I took much notice of that part as that barely applies in my case.
But if you are able to see it, it might give you some ideas. How to display and so forth.

I’ve got a shelf that I bought a few years ago but it was grey and I decided I wanted to paint it black ( to go with the picture frames). Then the pandemic hit and I didn’t have any black paint. I’ve got some now and I’m going to get it put up. The plan is to use it to showcase my collections of stuff and change it over regularly.

A good idea Maybee, a contained place to showcase objects that we like. An idea to copy

I feel as though I am virtually at a standstill wrt de-cluttering but tbh I always have that aim at the back of my mind now. Life carries on and all I am buying is my organic veg and some fruit and only one thing at a time now in the cleaning line, a big change for me and I can see my storecupboard reducing, albeit slowly

My bin this week is only half full after three weeks, I suppose that is a good thing

I continue to stash bust while enjoying myself, particularly with spinning, which I am doing outside now, whenever there is enough warmth in the sun.

I did treat myself this week, it was an expensive impulse buy but this is the first year in which I have no real garden-clearing work after three full years of back -breaking clearing and digging. So a treat to myself, now that I can sit out, guilt free and with enjoyment. A really good and comfy folding recliner for outside, I have an old one with a mesh cool base and will keep that but this new one is padded and a much easier design to use and will go into any position, included sitting or zero gravity

Re personal paperwork. Soon after I was widowed, it came to me that I didn`t want my AC to be reading my lovely letters from my husband sent while we were were courting. I decided to shred them. I remember a sibling photocopying letters from my mum to my dad and then passing those sweet words around. I did not want that, those letters to me were mine and only mine

I de-clutter every spring and it is very therapeutic for me. I have one friend who insists on giving me ornaments for birthday gifts despite knowing I like a minimalist look. My aunt is the same. So they get given away. I'm working up to a good clear out soon. Books, dvds and cds. I haven't used CDs or DVDs in five years so they're going. I carefully cull books. One in, two out.

Callistemon21

^He has been outside working most of the day in case I put him in the rubbish^ 😂😂😂
Keep moving, Mr Y!

When we redecorated and had new flooring downstairs a few years ago, I left it looking minimalist for a few weeks but things did creep back.

He's disappeared now into town for more paint for the door in a coat he has had at least 20 years .He must think if he has it on it wont disappear.
We minimalism our last house to sell it as advised by the estate agent!!!! When we got here out came all the tat .
I think he has read what you said but things will go while he is away.

Yammy

Callistemon21

He has been outside working most of the day in case I put him in the rubbish 😂😂😂
Keep moving, Mr Y!

When we redecorated and had new flooring downstairs a few years ago, I left it looking minimalist for a few weeks but things did creep back.

He's disappeared now into town for more paint for the door in a coat he has had at least 20 years .He must think if he has it on it wont disappear.
We minimalism our last house to sell it as advised by the estate agent!!!! When we got here out came all the tat .
I think he has read what you said but things will go while he is away.

Mr C goes out looking like a tramp unless I catch him first.
He did throw out a jumper which had a hole in the front the other week. I was threatening to rip it and make it into a huge hole while he was wearing it.

"I feel as though I am virtually at a standstill wrt de-cluttering" karmalady - you mean you have finished apart from maintenance?
In which case, congratulations?

fancythat

"I feel as though I am virtually at a standstill wrt de-cluttering" karmalady - you mean you have finished apart from maintenance?
In which case, congratulations?

oh thank you fancythat, I was feeling `stuck` but your words have made me realise that I am maintenance stage and not stuck. It was very satisfying tbh to be doing the bulk de-cluttering

I remember visiting an old lady once when I was in my teens.

Her four poster bed, in the living room, was so piled high with stuff she had to sleep in a chair. She would not let anyone help her.

When I looked at the spare bed piled up with the contents of my wardrobe it reminded me of her.

But first I have plants to put in pots 🙂

The coats in the washer Callistemon along with a pair of gloves you wouldn't put on a snowman.[Smile] Then they will go in the airing cupboard and take the route down the back to another hidden corner.
My school friend's mother was like that old lady, you moved a pile of newspapers to sit down. I think I have said on here before she used to stuff anything under the sofa cushions. Once when we were there her suspender belt, a bra and nylons slipped out. You can imagine the scenario naughty 13-year-old girls' minds thought up. I think she had probably been drying them on the fire guard like a lot did.

many people from that era never threw anything out, so much was destroyed or became scarce during war years, even newspaper to start fires or cut up into squares to hang on a wire in the outside lavatory. I think that is why a fair few of us became overstocked with `stuff`, not hoarders, just being psychologically prudent as it was very deeply ingrained from throughout childhood. It was hard to let-go then, no internet forums to help

I spent two years during lock down decluttering - trying on clothes, washing and ironing them, putting them into piles ready for taking to charity shop until all I had left was the stuff that fitted me and I would wear. Most of it was size 12, and as I was 14-16 I didn't expect to ever get into it again. Now I am back down to a size 12 and having to shop for new things as most things are miles too big. This morning I found a hidden bag in the spare bedroom that hadn't made it to the charity shop - inside it were two lovely skirts and a shirt (all still labelled), so they made it back to my wardrobe.

Sadly this has reinforced Mr A's thinking that as soon as you get rid of things you need them, so it's not making it any easier to get him to get rid of things.

Mr A is absolutely right!

I think it's called Sod's Law 😁