Have we lost the ability to make our homes comfortable and cosy?

There was a thread on MN some time ago that made me laugh. Someone had bought her first house and wanted to invite friends and family to drop in over the weekend to see it. She was very excited about the house and was asking for advice about little things that would make it seem welcoming. Some of the responses were very odd. The smell of bleach was one - it makes me think of dog accidents, which are not welcoming at all!

Another was to cover the TV - with what? Just throw a towel over it and hope nobody notices it is there?

Leave books open on tables- what sort of visitor comes to look around and starts reading your books?

Hot towels in the bathroom - I didn’t know where to start with that one .

Amongst the nonsense were some sensible ideas though. The usual advice to brew coffee and make biscuits to make the place smell like home, somewhere obvious to put a cup of tea or coffee while drinking it, low background music- that sort of thing.

What do you think helps to make guests feel at home? Not the house itself but the hospitable touches.

M0nica - if you don’t want this to derail your thread, just say - I can start a new one and won’t mind at all.

M0nica

*GSM*, Callistemon As far as the basic house goes, I judge by room plans and measurements. The comments on the interiors are quite seperate from my assessment of the property as suitable for our needs. We are however just at the thinking the idea through stage of possibly downsizing, so one does have more time to 'appreciate' the interiors.

As a result I am suddenly seeing a lot of house interiors in a way I do not usually do and thinking how unwelcoming most of them are.

I always look at the layouts online, M0nica and those for bungalows are, more often than not, very odd.

It's a useful addition to the online details.

Wow Dinahmo, you are lucky, I'm very envious, what great experiences, especially the first.

Sounds wonderful Dinahmo, I have a print of a Rene Margritte , Paul McCartney has a collection of some of his stuff, I read somewhere, not prints of course!. Any house on Cheyney Walk would be most desirable, well in my dreams of course!

What lovely memories Dinahmo. I have to say I envy the first visit rather more than the second. It does show that, certainly where comfort and happiness are concerned, it's a case of to each their own.

One of the most comfortable and welcoming houses I've been in belonged to John Paul Getty 11. Back in the 60s/70s he lived in Rosetti's house on Cheyney Walk. I was delivering some antiquarian books that he'd bought and he showed my colleague and I over part of the house.

The ground floor room at the back was his library and his drawing room was a floor above, across the front of the house. In addition to books he also collected art works and was displaying a cartoon by Rosetti of Beata Beatrix which he'd recently bought. He also had a Magritte in the library.

The drawing room had a large leather chesterfield, rather beaten up which was covered with an old kilim. There were lots of beautiful things but none of it screamed money at one. I knew how much the Rossetti cost because the bookshop had been his agent at the auction.

The house probably wasn't to everyone's taste but, in my early 20s I loved it and still remember it, more that 50 years later.

At about that time we also visited the house of the film director, Stanley Donen. A friend of a friend was cat sitting and we were invited round to have a look. It was very different. In his drawing room he had two long couches covered highly polished red kid. I was very impressed by those but knew that I couldn't live with them because of the care that they would need. The cats weren't allowed in that room.

I like the fact that everyone's taste is different. it would be terrible if we all liked the same stuff.

M0nica

Hetty think twice about a south facing garden. We have one. In the hot weather and, despite this summer, summers are getting hotter, the sun pours through the windows into the house and the rooms facing the garden get incredibly hot. In high summer when the sun is out we end up having all the curtains on windows overlooking the garden closed to try to stop the house getting too hot. So no garden views, just curtain views.

M0nica. I love our south facing garden. Strictly speaking I think its SSW.

One side is hedging, another is fencing covered by shrubs and the other is brick and flint. It is a real suntrap. We have large patio doors from the lounge and they have special glass that filters the sun rays as does the window further along. The garden gets the sun all day from sunrise until it sets on my summerhouse in the corner.

I think what Monica is referring to is the Scandi or Nordic look which is very popular nowadays. White or grey walls and light coloured timber flooring.
Makes the home look clinical / anaemic and not very cosy.

Callistemon21 It's the layout which is important; cosmetic things can be altered more easily.

Agreed.

We like big rooms, lots of light (reflection off pale bone walls), and high ceilings. We've renovated and added on (often) with big spaces in mind. My GPs/GGPs cosmetics are no longer here, unless acceptable.

We've a larger family, had to have space. Musts.

Hetty think twice about a south facing garden. We have one. In the hot weather and, despite this summer, summers are getting hotter, the sun pours through the windows into the house and the rooms facing the garden get incredibly hot. In high summer when the sun is out we end up having all the curtains on windows overlooking the garden closed to try to stop the house getting too hot. So no garden views, just curtain views.

GSM, Callistemon As far as the basic house goes, I judge by room plans and measurements. The comments on the interiors are quite seperate from my assessment of the property as suitable for our needs. We are however just at the thinking the idea through stage of possibly downsizing, so one does have more time to 'appreciate' the interiors.

As a result I am suddenly seeing a lot of house interiors in a way I do not usually do and thinking how unwelcoming most of them are.

DAR Are you Kirsty Alsop in disguise?

-- choice best-- best choice

Hetty58

I've found it very important to know your room sizes. One house I viewed had a lot of things I liked (although I'd have to rip out the kitchen island) but the bedrooms were just tiny, about ten feet square at best. Along with sloping ceilings and floor height windows, the effect was claustrophobic. On the way home, I realised the upstairs floor had been raised.

I've added to my list now, wanting a south-facing garden, like here, preferably not at the bottom of a slope or hill, though. It's difficult to change the amount of light coming in, so not too shady but with good views of outside.

When I look online, it's the cluttered/different/colourful one's I'm drawn to, not those boring ones that've been emptied, decorated or 'renovated'. I don't want to pay extra for new things I'd throw out.

If you only look online you will never find something.

I hope you find something you love. However, whatever you want/need it will only ever be the choice best of what's available for the amount you can afford.

Generally, the only way to get more of what you consider acceptable you have to compromise or move to a cheaper area.

Autocorrect! ill afford it

Now the interiors are so inhospitable, they put you off wanting to go any further, because the first thing you do is start calculating how much it will cost you to get the house completely redecorated, recarpetted and curtained, before you even move in

Don't we all re-decorate and use our own curtains, soft furnishings etc, to make a house into our home?
Unless carpets were brand new, I'd want to change them too and would have to make sure I could afford to do that when viewing.
One house we bought was expensively carpeted but I'm sure their dog used to wee on them, they smelt dreadful despite shampooing, so we had to change them although we could I'll afford it at the time.

It's the layout which is important; cosmetic things can be altered more easily.

Germanshepherdsmum

Surely that’s largely down to the furnishings MOnica, and you will be adding your own furniture, cushions, throws, curtains, pictures, books won’t you, not buying the existing ones.

If I've finally 'got it', M0nica is commenting on the fact that 'styled to sell' houses don't look as though you can live comfortably in them, rather than saying that she wouldn't be able to make one comfortable if she bought one?

I think I was confused by mention of the grey paint and furniture, the black and white kitchens and the 4/5 bedroom-new-build price range mentioned in the OP, when none of those things is relevant to the point .

Our house is a bit of a tip but I had a friend round recently who I've not seen for years and she thought it very cosy!!!! It made me feel a bit better until another piece of furniture recently appeared in our dining room

Surely that’s largely down to the furnishings MOnica, and you will be adding your own furniture, cushions, throws, curtains, pictures, books won’t you, not buying the existing ones.

Doodledog Exactly! that feeling when you walk into a house that you can just sit down and relax and that you are welcome.

This is what is lacking in so many houses I have looked at, not thta I am combing websites all day every day, perhaps a couple of times a week.

Like GSM I understand the concept of a welcoming house, but don't understand how that can be achieved with any layout/rooms and not by using furnishings or decor to do it .

To me, a welcoming house is one where I feel I can relax without worrying about breaking anything or messing up the 'look'. 'Social' furniture, so that people can see one another wherever they sit, and things like cushions and throws so that people's preferences for how to sit and how warm they like to be can be separately accommodated. I also like lamps and small tables near chairs/sofas, so that everyone has somewhere to put a drink, and can put a light on if they need to see what they are doing without everyone sitting under the glare of a 'Big Light'. Basically, somewhere where you can say 'make yourself comfortable' and mean it.

The style of the furniture, as in whether it is floral chintz or monochrome doesn't matter if it is comfortable. Is that what you meant, M0nica? Maybe the penny has dropped .

I've found it very important to know your room sizes. One house I viewed had a lot of things I liked (although I'd have to rip out the kitchen island) but the bedrooms were just tiny, about ten feet square at best. Along with sloping ceilings and floor height windows, the effect was claustrophobic. On the way home, I realised the upstairs floor had been raised.

I've added to my list now, wanting a south-facing garden, like here, preferably not at the bottom of a slope or hill, though. It's difficult to change the amount of light coming in, so not too shady but with good views of outside.

When I look online, it's the cluttered/different/colourful one's I'm drawn to, not those boring ones that've been emptied, decorated or 'renovated'. I don't want to pay extra for new things I'd throw out.

We live within walking distance of a large, market town in the Cotswolds.
Our house is Edwardian with quite tall ceilings ; it has been modified with underfloor heating and huge kitchen/ diner but kept many features such as fire places and oak internal doors.
My favourite room is my lovely old-fashioned pantry with lots of space and a small boot room by the back garden door.
The bedrooms are not especially big but ok.
The walls are kept plain as there are a lot of pictures and shelves for books. Some shelves of books are arranged in colours of their spines to add a dash of colour, just for fun.
Colourful rugs also look good on the wooden floors.
Home decor is really about how comfortable you are in your own surroundings which reflect you. Marketing a house for sale is another matter.

We haven’t lost the art of making houses look welcoming MOnica, and we understand the concept. The picture was staged. It wasn’t real, though you believed the house belonged to someone born in the 1920s and said the photo had been taken in the early years of this century for the sale of the house. You could not have been more wrong, I hope you find what you’re looking for and that your house appeals to potential buyers. Frankly I have absolutely no idea of what you’re seeking or whether it exists.

Looked more 30/40s to me. It's always seemed to me that people don't just have complete sets of furniture etc all bought at once. Most people I know have a gradual accrual of bits and pieces: eg Gran's table, a good bookcase, that rug we got as a wedding present, the mirror Jim gave us. That sort of thing rather than brand-new all at once.