Feeling uneasy with tradespeople in the house.

Feel lucky you can get tradesmen in. I have tried 5 builders now for a job I need and can’t get one

I know what the OP means, I do feel "watched" although I know they're too busy to care what I'm doing. If it's my day off & I'm pottering round the house & garden I count the minutes till they're gone.Also have to be really careful with the spaniel, he nips out the front door so craftily, & also loves to steal tools & rags, but as he normally follows me round it's difficult to confine him.

Tradespeople come by appointment so Im always ready for them.

I am like the people on Mumsnet in that I dont open the door unless I know who it is. Either they have an appointment or they are delivering a package. Thats why I have a ring type doorbell. I have recently found that Alexa can make the doorbell appear on the TV as well as my mobile devices.

If it goes off and its someone I dont recognise and Im not expecting anyone I usually play dumb. Ive had experience in the past with scammers trying to con their way in. Time is money to me and I cant be bothered with chuggers/political/religious or anyone who wants to steal my time.

welbeck - that was a rather scary experience, I would imagine . I presume you live on your own, like me ?

well most of the replies on here suggest people have been lucky with these issues.
many have not.
it's no puzzle as to why a woman or elderly person feels vulnerable, alone in their house with someone physically stronger, and whom they need for some reason.
it's a power imbalance, or feels like it.
one time water was coming through the ceiling as i was about to leave for work.
i also had to organise and look after a disabled relative.
i rang round a few roofers, from a directory.
the first one to arrive, put up his ladder and gave a price. he seemed ok, so i accepted it.
i tried to ring the others, but they were en route.
i explained to the next one to arrive and he left.
the third was very persistent, kept wanting to put his ladder up, showing me tins of mastic.
he was v forceful, became loud and aggressive.
i said i had already done a deal, and was trying to save him wasting his time.
after he eventually left he repeatedly rang me, ranting and swearing that i'd wasted his time.
it was actually quite frightening, esp as he obviously knew where i lived and he was local.
he had a pumped up appearance and i guessed he took anabolic steroids. roid rage.

I live in a flat so the presence of tradesmen is a little bit more intrusive than in a house and I find using the loo rather embarrassing. I've never had a tradesmen make me feel uncomfortable, as in being creepy, but I have had the odd touch of mansplaining.

I have no choice - I live alone and cannot do a thing. I have had no problems with tradespeople wandering in and out of my house. …..needs must. I don’t have locks on any internal doors or cupboards. The only thing I keep locked is my jewellery box.

I also make teas, coffees and biscuits for people working in the house. I do like to be up and dressed before they arrive in the morning though.
Just once I felt uncomfortable with a plumber who came to quote, so we found a different one.

Norah

Casdon

Why do you call it invading Norah, I don’t understand that? Surely you invite them to come to your house to do whatever work you have commissioned, they aren’t the enemy?

I may have used the wrong word.

Perhaps intrusive is more my meaning. I really don't prefer anyone inside our home, apart from the 2 of us, our AC, GC, cleaners.

I do the inside of all the (huge number) windows and hire the exterior done - no need for others to wander round in our house

You’re very lucky if you’ve got family members who can do everything needed in your house Norah, most of is aren’t in that position. I can understand it feeling intrusive if you haven’t experienced it, of course.

The problem that I have is that my other half starts talking to whoever is here ….and forgets that they are here to do a job! Not too bad if it’s a set price…up to the workman to curtail the conversation. Last year we had bricklayers here rebuilding an outside wall charging by the day, I’m sure we had to pay at least half a day extra because of his rambling….i was livid!!

Casdon

Why do you call it invading Norah, I don’t understand that? Surely you invite them to come to your house to do whatever work you have commissioned, they aren’t the enemy?

I may have used the wrong word.

Perhaps intrusive is more my meaning. I really don't prefer anyone inside our home, apart from the 2 of us, our AC, GC, cleaners.

I do the inside of all the (huge number) windows and hire the exterior done - no need for others to wander round in our house

We’ve had the decorators in again for the fourth or fifth time. They know where the loo is and I leave mugs and tea making things and biscuits out. They just get on with it. The oven valet guy was round the other week. Same thing. We used to have a cleaner until she became unwell but that was fine too. Actually this morning I was a little perturbed that one of the WI committee was dropping something off at 8.15!!! I think she was on her way to work.

We have a skilled carpenter who has done complex work for us. I pop and check if he needs anything but pretty much leave him to it.

I have been myself to choose the timber if it's important to me though. And have been up the scaffolding to look at it after he's gone .

I'm afraid it does cause me disruption as I need to keep evaluating what's going on!

If I spend hours choosing a fitting I need to see the first one go on - then I can leave them to it.
I made the mistake once of allowing the (totally excellent) electrician to fit the six matching kitchen lights and he fitted them all with the securing screw facing the door 😩

He very kindly turned them all round afterwards!

I foolishly assumed the screw would be where I considered the back was.

I also had to have him move the consumer unit 10cm back (on our middle landing) so you can't see it from the hallway. He put it exactly where the old one was as we had discussed - but it was about 15cms wider!
He is a great guy and I'm picky.

He's coming back in about 10 days to do some work on our top floor so 🤞

I have a boiler in a stupid position too after going away and letting the gaz engineer (a friend and neighbour) fit it whilst I was on holiday in Italy.
He is supremely logical but obviously doesn't have an aesthetic vision! 🙄
He put it where the old one was but it's a very different shape. I have sucked this one up...

JL sent an awful man to look at our faulty dishwasher, then again to look at the nearly new but faulty freezer.
He was downright unpleasant. I would refuse to have him in the house again.

TerriBull

I don't hang round them, I offer them tea, coffee, biscuits and let them get on with it.

Yes, it must be very irritating to have someone following you round, watching you work as if they don't trust you.

We might ask questions afterwards about what was wrong.

We recently had our utility room refitted and I was chatting to our guy when I was making him coffee when he told me there have been occasions when some clients with members of their family stood over him when he was sawing wood which he found quite off-putting.

I know them[unless the washing machine/dishwasher repair people. And even then, because I have had a contract with the company, it used to be usually the same repair man each time].

Most work in house my DH does anyway.
I chat, leave them to it, give them as many beverages as they want, and then we have lunch together.

I don't hang round them, I offer them tea, coffee, biscuits and let them get on with it.

We have had 4 chaps here today doing the roof - they have been lovely - although we are out of biscuits now.

Like other people have said, over the years we have used the same people time and again so are quite happy having them here or, even, leaving them here on their own.

FoghornLeghorn

If you regularly look at Mumsnet you’ll know that they don’t even like answering their front door, much less actually have people in the house. I’ve never seen so many neuroses in one place. 🙄

😁 Oh dear.
Is it anything to do with Covid and lockdowns, I wonder?

I don't worry about having tradespeople in the house, we know most of them anyway. Many of them were at school with our DC anyway.
The electrician/electrical goods man is well-known locally, the carpet fitters ditto and the oven cleaner was recommended.

I'm not that happy about having a cleaner, though.

My decorator is in my house this week doing the kitchen and I am away on holiday! The reason I am comfortable with this is that he is my son’s friend. I am equally happy with him continuing next week when I am back. He just gets on with the job.

I am just now relaxing after having had my en-suite completely renewed over the past week.
I detest having workpeople in my flat, but do love what they do and have left and I have cleared properly.
The fitter for this as arriving well before 8.00 am each day, first day I was up and dressed for his arrival at 7.15 am. but after that I was up and bed made (as obviously they were in my bedroom),but I did not get washed and dressed until later.

\i am fortunate that I have a separate bathroom in my flat, which myself and the fitters used during the week when there was nothing in the en-suite as they removed, tiled, painted, changed around leccie and plumbing, etc. etc.

As they arrive each morning I present them with a mug of tea and biccies, Leave everything out in kitchen for them to make themselves more mugs of tea.

It is the upheaval and the mess that gets to me. No matter how clean they work, dust from taking down tiles etc, gets everywhere onto every surface. I feel embarrassed that my neighbours are disturbed, although I always warn them.

My home is my 'safe and quiet place. So find the upheaval hard to cope with. Each time I have such work I tell my children that when I start thinking about something else they are to STOP ME. However, I do love it when it is completed and I can admire what they have done.

Been in this flat now for four and a half years and have had completely re-done, bathroom, kitchen, en-suite, flooring throughout -living room and hallway (that was hard was camping out for a week in my bedroom),

I would love to have the walls in my living/dining room painted, but the idea of having to empty all my high nits so they can be pulled clear of the walls. etc. is more than I think I can cope with.

It as been suggested that I should go away whilst such work takes place, do not think this is a good idea. After all most workpeople are gone by late afternoon, so have my peace and quiet in the evening and sleep in my own bed. And, usually, no matter how well arranged and prepared, questions arise as the work takes place.
Was easier yonks ago, when I would let them in early in the morning, make a mug of tea and then go off to work, arriving back in afternoon usually after they had left for the day.

Regarding other people using the loo, I do not mind that at all, but as I live here by myself do not have internal locks on ANY door including bathroom.

Why do you call it invading Norah, I don’t understand that? Surely you invite them to come to your house to do whatever work you have commissioned, they aren’t the enemy?

I'm not fond of anyone invading our home. If musts, I ask my husband to come inside whilst I go out to his sheds. We typically diy.

However, anything that must be repaired (apart from the kitchen) is in the trades entrance, with a loo - secure door to the house going inside.

I can't think of the last time we had workers in, apart from beloved cleaners. The kitchen appliances were fitted in 2003, soon needed, I suppose.

I do understand not liking invasions by others.