Feeling uneasy with tradespeople in the house.

When the kitchen was ripped out and replaced one hot summer I let the lads know where the tea and coffee and cold pop was and left them to it. They brought their own radio and set up with Planet Rock playing. (I retired to my boudoir with the dogs). We had a laugh.

It kind of makes me tense. Not distrustful or invaded exactly - although some of them can be a bit obnoxious. But I used to do all my own maintenance work other than gas, bricklaying or roofing, and now I am not as fit as I used to be I am having to get people in more. And I know they won't do the work as I would have done it. That's what tends to niggle me and I have to keep fighting the tendency to watch them.

I’m a member of a women’s organisation. A lot are widows or live alone. At our last meeting it was decided a list of tradespeople that many of us had used and were happy to recommend could be listed in order to be available for any member if needed.

Workmen or women from a local firm with a home-page and who obviously pay income tax and VAT are one thing, anyone who comes to the door and offers to do repairs, garden ing etc. on the qt are a different proposition.

In both cases, I prefer to be at home, if they are working in the house, and I keep my visa card and household purse in my pockets while they are here, and remove the spare keys to the house from their usual places near the outer doors.

I do some or other form of work, while they are here. I would never dream of hovering around. I would feel that was rude, suggesting I did not trust them. So either I repair to my study and work on my computer or I clean windows, iron, etc, in another room than the one they are working in.

I think the days of workmen treating women condensendingly are mercifully largely a thing of the past, but they may just be paying me ( a widow in her seventies) the compliment of believing I have enough experience to have seen most of the repairs they are carrying out done before, and actually know what I am talking about, when discussing blocked drains, or suspicious leaks.

Really uncomfortable with workmen in the house, offer them drinks and biscuits and leave them alone but always feel they are a real intrusion. Would NEVER dream of leaving any of them in my home alone even ones who have been coming to do jobs for years and would never tell them to help themselves to tea etc Always feel I should be doing something to be busy when they're here and don't like to even sit and have a cuppa. One in particular keeps me talking for at least 30 mins every time I take him a drink, can't get away without feeling rude.

I'm always a bit embarrassed by my flat.

The last tradesperson came in and said
"Ooh, very shabby chic!"

Like my kitchen, MissA 😁
And probably the rest of the house.

Retro is in!

My Daughter came downstairs to find the builders had let themselves in, rented property, and one if them had her hat on and playing her guitar badly! I must admit when she told us of the shocked look on their faces and his embarrassment we had a really good laugh!

I've had good experiences with trades in the past, always happy to share a cuppa while discussing the job, or providing drinks while work is undertaken. Local company replaced my windows - really nice guys and I was happy to leave them with keys to pop back through the door when they finished as I had to meet someone off a train. Quote for replacement conservatory roof from another local company though, pushy salesman, here for over 30 minutes talking rubbish, gave a quote and wanted an answer immediately, gave me a discount quote if I signed then and there ... (nope)! and called a couple of times in the week after pushing for the sale. It really did strike me, this is my happy place, my safe place, and I did not like him, did not like him here, but still held back from being outright rude and demanding he leave ....

I had a bathroom replacement last year, local company with excellent reviews. Start to finish horror show - and I figured out later they'd sub contracted the work out to the lowest bid. He was lazy, thoughtless, disorganised and I could NOT wait for him to go. There were lots of issues that needed to be done and I told the company I would not absolutely not have him back in my house. Very unsettling.

I had a very pushy "gutter cleaning service" quote AreYouListening - still need them doing but have told him he will not get work like this from me.

I’m lucky as my dh is an electrician and can do lots of other trades as well .
He also knows loads of tradespeople personally and they don’t muck us around or overcharge .
We’ve extended twice in our current home and I’m used to having people in the house and both times I was working so had to leave them to it.
If it’s a one off like a white goods repair person, I’ll offer tea and coffee and leave them alone .
My dh hates it when customers hover over him when working .

Poppyred

The problem that I have is that my other half starts talking to whoever is here ….and forgets that they are here to do a job! Not too bad if it’s a set price…up to the workman to curtail the conversation. Last year we had bricklayers here rebuilding an outside wall charging by the day, I’m sure we had to pay at least half a day extra because of his rambling….i was livid!!

Mine does that. I think he misses work and 'man talk', and wants to show them that he knows what he's talking about.

I don't like people in the house either. I agree with whoever said they feel watched. If I can't get into the kitchen or go up and down stairs easily I tend to give up and put a film on or something, then feel self-conscious about sitting watching it when they are working. It's the public/private crossover that's difficult, isn't it?

I don't like using the loo when people are there either. We had a kitchen refit around Christmas which went on for about three weeks, and I was so stressed by the end. Apart from the things that kept going wrong, I was having to get up early and be ready to let men in at 8.00am (I'm a night owl and late riser). Obviously the kitchen was out of action, but also the dining room was littered with the contents of it, and things which would usually be in cupboards were lying around everywhere. Strangers had the run of my house, they kept turning the power on and off and everything was outside my control, which is difficult when it happens in your personal space. I hated it. I know it's just being friendly, but strangers commenting on my things makes me feel judged, and it adds to the stress. I feel uneasy just thinking about it now

My decorator is lovely, and I don't mind her being around. When she did the hall, stairs and landing I went away, as I trust her with a key. If I'm in when she's working she joins us for lunch/coffee. I don't know if it's because she's a woman, because she usually works alone or just that we get on well, but I feel less 'invaded' than when other things are being done. I'm gearing up to getting the bathroom done soon, which will be another couple of weeks of trauma. In my next life I think I'll live in a hotel .

When I have a problem or need a job doing I am only too pleased to see them arrive. Always offer coffee, tea or a cold drink plus biscuits. Often give them a tip if the job is done well.

Tenko our tradesmen are either people we know in our local pub, or recommended by them, less likely to do a rubbish job, word gets round in the village!

In the house 6 months and I knew it needed a new boiler, saw neighbours used one particular company (van with business name), small company so called him in for a quote. I immediately felt like I was being sized up - and the quote was probably £1,000 over what I'd anticipated. Said I'd have a think. Boiler stopped working a couple of months later, called him out - came over, said it would need total replacement, took a look at the water pressure gauge and gave me a side eye (like he was going to say something, decided not to) .. he left, I checked it, adjusted the water pressure (easy fix) and boiler worked for another 6 months until I got another company in to replace it. Absolutely had my hackles up from the start, should have trusted my gut.

I live in a social housing flat for over 55s, so the tradesman who come in are part of team that works for the housing association generally..Never felt nervous, mainly because of this I guess. I tend to offer a cuppa then leave them alone to get on with it.. Only once have I had a problem with one of their workmen, I complained, as had others before me, and he was sacked! I had said if they sent him again I would refuse him entry, not sure what others had said. Think I take the view most workmen want to come in, do the job,leave..and that in general, most people are nice..

Think I take the view most workmen want to come in, do the job,leave..and that in general, most people are nice..
I think that too, but I still feel uncomfortable with strangers having the run of my home. It's not that I think they are going to steal anything or that they don't want to do the job and leave, it's that for them my house is a place of work, but for me it's my home, and my personal space.

I leave out a tray with mugs, coffee, teabags, a kettle, a cafetière and biscuits, show them where the fridge is for milk so they can make refreshments as and when they want them, and go out if possible.

I leave them to it and get on with things. What I find difficult is the first time you use someone, will they do a good job, are they safe etc even though I use check a trade.

I suppose I feel vulnerable the first time I use someone

I usually sit at my table with computer and look busy

When I had my lounge decorated, I let the men in, made tea, gave them a spare key and went to stay overnight with DD1. 2 days later, it was all done and the furniture replaced.
I’ve been using them for years and trust them. They text me the final cost and I transferred the money to their bank.

I’ve got builders coming next month which will be difficult even though I know the boss. I’m to have scaffolding around the house - so nowhere to really take myself off to - I expect I’ll be on tea and Kit-kat duties several times a day!