Scared to relocate.

Do you actually want to move?

The problem with waiting for them to move is that you might not find something to suit you.
In your shoes I would go together to a good (old established) estate agent and explain what you need.
I would consider a 'double property' (although it doesn't suit everyone!)
I'm a bit unclear as to why the South Coast has been decided - you don't say where you live now. I don't know it at all, but understand it is very expensive. Other places that are OK for a 1 or 2 day a week commute are much cheaper, and some are lovely.

I’ve done exactly what you’re worried about, mrsbirdy and it has worked for me.

I now live on the south coast just ten minutes away from DD and DSiL They moved out of London due to work commitments and moved back to where they already had a home so my situation is slightly different to yours in that I knew where I was heading.

You could take the view that you’re never to old for an adventure especially if you like joining things and making new friends. Downsizing can be hard work but exciting at the same time and it’s a buyer’s market at the moment.

Don’t worry about your old friends just make sure you have a spare room and WhatsApp or Facebook!! Two of my old friends have sadly died since I moved so I would have been facing life without them anyway (That’s not as selfish as it might sound)

More importantly, you will have the best chance to build up a lovely relationship with your grandchild. Mine are all adults now but it means I’m included in their visits home which is lovely.

Every journey begins with a single step. Put your positive hat on and Good Luck!

I would wait until they move and then see if you like where they choose.. It sounds as though you are inland from London.. But if you choose to follow them I would make sure you have a good trainline close by so that friends can easily visit.. I live in Brighton which has masses of activities on offer and though expensive, is easily commutable to London and very appealing to young people ie your son.. If not then Worthing, Eastbourne or Margate might fit all requirements..

If you have a good community and friends where you are I don't understand why you would have to move areas just because your daughter wants to move?

Am I missing something?

Choose somewhere that suits you and you think you might settle well.

You never know if they might move again.

Is your son working? Would he have to change jobs if you relocate or would he stay in your present location?

Downsizing is a good idea before you feel too old to cope with it.
You can join groups in your new location, not so easy to make new friends when you're older but it is possible.

Think about Worthing or Eastbourne.
DDhas moved to former and it's great. Good schools, swimming pool and good rail links to London.

Your title is "scared to relocate".
Do you mean scared in general, or are you ok about moving in general, but scared about where?

I don't know where you are, but why can't they move nearer to you?

I'm not getting the full picture here so they are moving, but why does that mean youhave to move too?

How does your son feel about it?

You certainly shouldn't just go wherever, but you say you are sick of living in a big house so selling up may release some money, but you would still have to buy/rent and the south coast is expensive.

My thoughts are not to rush into something you will regret- maybe let them move first and then that may help you decide where you want to be too.