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House and home

Visitors, shoes on or off?

(166 Posts)
Franski Thu 28-Aug-25 14:51:03

What do you do about asking visitors to take their shoes off...? I dont have carpets so it doesn't bother me. When we went to a dinner party recently we were asked to take footwear off.. it was cool and wet...i felt a bit daft in my barefeet and cocktail dress. What do others think?

grandMattie Fri 29-Aug-25 05:31:30

I don’t like wearing shoes so am usually barefoot or in socks in the winter. I have never asked my guests to remove their shoes, people are more important than floors.
I get it that in very cold countries, guests with wet muddy footwear are asked to remove them, but they are offered “house shoes”.

Mollygo Fri 29-Aug-25 02:30:17

Rosie51
Thats it, we don’t expect it either. The strange thing is, if any of my guests do have really dirty shoes, unusual when most of them arrive by car, they’d scrub them thoroughly on the various mats, or offer to take them off. If they didn’t I wouldn’t ask. Worst offender? Dog’s wet feet when she’s been in the long grass or run across the wet lawn.

Crossstitchfan Fri 29-Aug-25 01:02:37

When my daughter and son-in-law got a dog, they had a tap fitted just outside the side door to the garage. It’s heated so that in cold weather the dog’s feet are not subjected to freezing water. It’s also handy for when they come back from muddy walks as they can rinse their boots off as well as the dog’s muddy feet.

Rosie51 Fri 29-Aug-25 00:42:43

I have light coloured carpets but wouldn’t ask any of my invited guests anyone to take off their shoes.

And that's the crux Doodle, you obviously value your guests over your carpets as do I. Come in and if your shoes are really dirty and you don't think to offer to remove them I'm not going to embarrass you by requesting such action I'd rather clean up any debris later. My home is a home, the kitchen and bathroom are clean and hygienic, the rest occasionally chaotic, often untidy, but I hope warm and welcoming and you'll not be on edge about spilling a crumb (from my fabulous homecooked scones, biscuits, cakes etc) on the immaculate floor.

Doodle Thu 28-Aug-25 23:11:29

I find many people take their shoes off automatically if they visit. If they ask me if I want the, to take their shoes off I say no I don’t mind.
Workmen I would prefer took them off because of mud etc.
I think anyone with muddy shoes would take them off going into someone’s house.
I have light coloured carpets but wouldn’t ask any of my invited guests anyone to take off their shoes.

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 23:03:25

It’s certainly not rude! If I visit a friend I take my shoes off, all my friends are mostly the same. I have wooden floors downstairs so really if they don’t mention it, I won’t. Upstairs is a different kettle of fish, all brand new, cream carpets, so yes, if they ask for tour of the upstairs,I ask politely if they wouldn’t mind taking off their shoes & tell them why- never had anyone insulted up to date.

Jennerdysphoria Thu 28-Aug-25 22:53:11

I think it is an imposition on guests to ask them to remove shoes, therefore rude. I value my newish light-coloured carpets and don't even walk on them in slippers, even so...

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:52:18

NotSpaghetti

We take shoes off unasked - so do our friends it seems.
Not workmen or carers.
I notice one carer has a pair of "indoor" shoes she brings in in a bag.
Mostly they don't.

That’s very considerate of her.
I visit an older friend with Alzheimer’s, I think she wouldn’t notice what I was wearing, tbh but I always take my ballet slippers in my bag.

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:45:58

dragonfly46

I never ask anyone to take their shoes off. If I am asked to take mine off I do expect there to be a chair at the door - often there isn’t and I nearly fall over putting shoes on and off. I have to laugh at my DiL who insists we take our shoes off but allows her cats to walk all over the kitchen surfaces.

😂

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:44:10

Though no plaster on the soap or sink 🙄

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:42:47

eazybee

I wouldn't dream of asking people to remove their shoes, particularly work people who are busy doing a job
If carpets are so precious, cover them with another floor covering.

We recently had a plasterer working in the upstairs rooms, I didn’t say anything to him about removing his shoes, only asked if he needed the loo to use Guest loo downstairs (new tiles in the bathroom). Later that evening, I noticed plaster stuck to our bathroom floor & flush plate 😩 goes to show most workmen I find, have no regard to my property.

Cabbie21 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:38:41

I have in the past had broken toes, so I don’t go barefoot. If I am going to my ACs’ homes, or somewhere I know shoes are not allowed, I take slippers with me. My feet quickly get cold and painful without shoes or slippers.
I belong to a group which meets in each other’s homes, and nobody asks others to take their shoes off. Several of us would find it very difficult to do so unless a chair was provided, and maybe a shoehorn!

Smintie Thu 28-Aug-25 22:31:45

Anniebach

No, surely it could make a visitor feel uncomfortable

I will probably be flamed for this but I’m going to say it anyway.

As someone with only one leg, I completely agree with you. Visitors should be welcome.

My foot is made to a certain arch height, to match the heel on my shoe. Taking my shoes off would make me walk on tiptoe all evening, and I would feel unbalanced and uncomfortable.

I am very careful to ensure that my shoes are clean, wiping them with a damp cloth before entering.

Those who don’t allow indoor shoes, would they also expect a wheelchair user to leave their wheelchair outside?

Yes, carpet is costly but a home should be welcoming. Rugs can be covered or moved, runners can be placed. Things can be cleaned, hurt feelings last a long time. Good doormats, indoors and outdoors work wonders.

dragonfly46 Thu 28-Aug-25 22:25:45

I never ask anyone to take their shoes off. If I am asked to take mine off I do expect there to be a chair at the door - often there isn’t and I nearly fall over putting shoes on and off. I have to laugh at my DiL who insists we take our shoes off but allows her cats to walk all over the kitchen surfaces.

Norah Thu 28-Aug-25 22:21:27

We don't ask, family remove shoes. We do same.

Anniebach Thu 28-Aug-25 21:54:21

No, surely it could make a visitor feel uncomfortable

Aldom Thu 28-Aug-25 21:44:43

I never ask anyone to remove their shoes they just do it, as I do in their homes. Not a problem and people always feel welcome at my house and I in theirs.

foxie48 Thu 28-Aug-25 19:39:12

I've never asked anyone to remove their shoes. We live in the country and wellies or walking boots are just removed as a matter of course and left in the conservatory or boot room depending on which way they arrive. If anyone comes to supper or for the weekend they usually arrive by car and I wouldn't dream of asking them to remove their shoes as I know they wouldn't arrive in anything dirty and if they did, they wouldn't ask me if I wanted them to take them off, they'd just hoick them off without asking! My home is to be enjoyed and lived in, so quite frankly if someone came in and muddied a carpet it wouldn't be the end of the world. I do object to the dog being allowed to run around with dirty paws so we now have a hot tap in the stables where he gets a quick wash and dry but he still makes a mess, fortunately he is much loved and totally forgiven , much like my husband who probably makes more mess than all my visitors put together!

GrannyIvy Thu 28-Aug-25 19:19:44

Shoes off in our house. Most visitors bring their slippers if staying overnight. Grandchildren always take their shoes off and they have their own sliders at the back door to put on if popping into the garden. However DH has one friend who comes around every week for a cup of tea and I have to ask him to remove his trainers every time which always make black marks on the kitchen floor and he will always try not to and it really irritates me and he knows it!!! Tradesman generally always remove shoes or put shoe covers on.

Rosie51 Thu 28-Aug-25 19:17:30

Wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes although my children and grandchildren usually do, their choice. I'm assuming nobody who is 'shoes off' has a dog or outside cat as they don't have shoes to remove? As for wearing slippers from a communal basketful, no thanks! If I'm going to stay overnight or longer in somebody's house I'd take either slippers or 'inside shoes'.
I've noticed people like the gas boiler service engineer etc often offer to remove shoes or use those blue shoe coverings, and I always tell them not to bother, unless I can see they're obviously muddy.

Aldom Thu 28-Aug-25 18:57:00

fancythat

I think there has been a thread about this before.

From what I remember, the conclusion was, it is a more usual thing to do if someone was not born in the Uk.

Everyone I know prefers shoes off at the door. No one minds friends changing into different shoes once inside. I always take indoor shoes when visiting friends.

Ziggy62 Thu 28-Aug-25 18:53:48

Daddima

I would never dream of asking a visitor to remove their shoes. Carpets and floors can be cleaned.

Agreed

I always remove my shoes when I get home but don't expect guests to do the same, how very rude some folk are on here

Visgir1 Thu 28-Aug-25 18:52:01

I'm not fussed, I don't ask folk to take them off, if they do it's up to them.
And I wouldn't take mine off unless I was asked.

Shelflife Thu 28-Aug-25 18:51:30

I would remove shoes if asked but would appreciate prior warning so I could take lightweight indoor shoes with me. I am unable to be barefoot for long! I think it is an imposition to ask guests to do that, and what really annoys me is, if I am prepared to remove my shoes I expect there to be a seat there for me!
We have family members who insist we remove our shoes- so we do ! In our house it is certainly not expected unless of course they have been on a muddy hike.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 28-Aug-25 18:47:11

We have always been a shoes off family All AC are the same, GC automatically take shoes off wherever they go.

Only exception is if we are having a large indoor gathering/party, then I will clean the carpets next day.

I always ask when visiting someone’s house for the first time shall I take my shoes off