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Visitors, shoes on or off?

(165 Posts)
Franski Thu 28-Aug-25 14:51:03

What do you do about asking visitors to take their shoes off...? I dont have carpets so it doesn't bother me. When we went to a dinner party recently we were asked to take footwear off.. it was cool and wet...i felt a bit daft in my barefeet and cocktail dress. What do others think?

Babs03 Thu 28-Aug-25 14:59:16

How was it cool and wet at the dinner party?
Were you asked to go barefoot in the garden??
That would be weird.
We ask visitors to take off their shoes because although we have wooden floors we have some expensive Persian carpets in places. Everyone obliges quite happily. And when we had workmen in we rolled up the carpets and put old sheets down over the floors so we didn’t expect them to take off their boots.
When house hunting a year ago we regularly were asked to take off our shoes when viewing a property especially when the weather outside was bad.
Most people ask at the door if they should remove footwear so we don’t really have to remind people very often.

fancythat Thu 28-Aug-25 14:59:18

I think there has been a thread about this before.

From what I remember, the conclusion was, it is a more usual thing to do if someone was not born in the Uk.

Primrose53 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:02:37

It never bothered me too much when we had small kids and a couple of dogs but in recent years my views have changed.

We had new carpet laid in the lounge and it is a light oatmeal shade and is wool and was very expensive. To be fair most of my friends always take their shoes off because they do the same with visitors to their homes.

We have had a steady stream of carers, physios, nurses, OTs etc since my husband’s stroke. All of that group ask whether they should remove shoes EXCEPT the care workers who say they are not allowed to. They are not allowed to wear those blue shoe covers either which might have helped. My husband used to cringe when they came in the winter months with wet, muddy boots. We asked one woman not to come back as she came with filthy hiking boots on.

Aveline Thu 28-Aug-25 15:07:21

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes on arrival. We also have 'expensive Persian rugs' but also have vacuum cleaners. How rude to expect partygoers to stand around shoeless. I'd have left.

winterwhite Thu 28-Aug-25 15:12:25

Agree with Aveline and our rugs are neither particularly expensive nor new.

Doodledog Thu 28-Aug-25 15:13:30

We have doormats outside and inside the front door, so it's very rarely that mud or dirt comes in on people's shoes. I wouldn't dream of asking people to take their shoes off, but it seems to be common practice these days.

I'm in a social group which is predominantly older women who meet in one another's houses, and the logjam in hallways as numerous arthritic and wobbly people try to fasten shoelaces and bend down to pull on boots at the end of meetings has to be seen to be believed. It's not so bad if there is somewhere to sit, but even then it's not easy when people have dodgy knees, gammy legs and bunions.

I would take off muddy hiking boots though!

Babs03 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:15:59

@Aveline I wasn’t trying to insult those who don’t ask people to remove their shoes, horses for courses.

Greenfinch Thu 28-Aug-25 15:16:21

We would never ask visitors to remove their shoes. We have never gone in for expensive carpets but have always chosen hardy ones that can be easily cleaned. Our grandchildren always leave their shoes at the door because they have been brought up to do so but that is their choice not ours.

Primrose53 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:18:15

I should add if people come in the side door and into the tiled kitchen then I wouldn’t expect them to remove shoes.

seadragon Thu 28-Aug-25 15:24:23

We've never bothered about what people wear on their feet but building works surround our tiny cottage periodically now and the carpets are shrouded in dust as well as the furniture despite dusting and resorting to a damp cloth in extremis.... The worst hazard is the gravel - 'chuckies' here in Scotland - which hurt shoeless feet badly. I tend to put slippers on at home for comfort myself....but would struggle to provide a selection of sizes in suitable slippers for visitors...to protect their feet....

Fartooold Thu 28-Aug-25 15:40:53

Definitely shoes on here! We had two in wheelchairs and I never took the wheels off when they came in.

silverlining48 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:45:08

I found it strange at first when visiting friends and family in Europe, where they usually provide a basket with slippers in. We automatically remove our shoes now. Most people take theirs off if they visit us without being asked.
Shoes can still be dirty even if they don’t look it, with dog or cat poo or wee on pavements everywhere so don’t need to be caked in mud.
If someone does come in my house with shoes on I have to try not to look annoyed, but it is irritating. Carpet newish but is supposed to see us out.

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:46:16

Off, if you have light coloured carpets at least- I just say do you mind taking off your shoes.
Work people are murder for not taking off their shoes. I give them those blue plastic things to put over their shoes ha

Mt61 Thu 28-Aug-25 15:48:50

Mt61

Off, if you have light coloured carpets at least- I just say do you mind taking off your shoes.
Work people are murder for not taking off their shoes. I give them those blue plastic things to put over their shoes ha

I must say we have wooden flooring downstairs, the upstairs as they are new & light in colour, so yes shoes off for sure.

Franski Thu 28-Aug-25 15:49:33

Cool.and wet just means feet were cold when shoes came off (not in the heatwave). Yes -there has been a thread before...i should look as I probably asked others then....or maybe even started the thread!! Sorry.....its obvs still buzzing round my mind.
Thanks for comments though x

Calendargirl Thu 28-Aug-25 16:30:15

If I were going to a dinner party and thought I would have to remove my shoes, I would take a pair of slippers or slipper socks with me.

My feet would be freezing otherwise.

If the hosts are fussy about their carpets, perhaps it should be mentioned on the invite?

Erica23 Thu 28-Aug-25 16:33:33

I’ve never had anyone come to my house and not offer to take their shoes off, it seems to be the done thing now Xx

Oreo Thu 28-Aug-25 16:35:34

Aveline

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes on arrival. We also have 'expensive Persian rugs' but also have vacuum cleaners. How rude to expect partygoers to stand around shoeless. I'd have left.

I agree and am agape that anyone would oblige.I would have said, sorry but my shoes are clean and I need to keep them on.

Oreo Thu 28-Aug-25 16:36:38

Calendargirl

If I were going to a dinner party and thought I would have to remove my shoes, I would take a pair of slippers or slipper socks with me.

My feet would be freezing otherwise.

If the hosts are fussy about their carpets, perhaps it should be mentioned on the invite?

And if wearing a lovely dress, who wants slippers on?

Doodledog Thu 28-Aug-25 16:38:23

Don't worry, Franski. This subject comes up often, and threads can get quite heated. grin

As regards upstairs, I think that's different. The only people who go upstairs are likely to be overnight guests, so aren't likely to come in from outside and go straight up.

Oreo Thu 28-Aug-25 16:38:50

If casual visitors come to the house in wet muddy shoes then I may ask them to remove them, but not anyone dressed up for a party.

Jaxjacky Thu 28-Aug-25 16:39:27

Greenfinch

We would never ask visitors to remove their shoes. We have never gone in for expensive carpets but have always chosen hardy ones that can be easily cleaned. Our grandchildren always leave their shoes at the door because they have been brought up to do so but that is their choice not ours.

Same Greenfinch but the grandchildren and my son take theirs off unasked too.

Oreo Thu 28-Aug-25 16:40:55

Doodledog

Don't worry, Franski. This subject comes up often, and threads can get quite heated. grin

As regards upstairs, I think that's different. The only people who go upstairs are likely to be overnight guests, so aren't likely to come in from outside and go straight up.

I can’t imagine heated over shoes on /off but maybe I’ll go get the popcorn just in case.🤭

Primrose53 Thu 28-Aug-25 16:41:53

silverlining48

I found it strange at first when visiting friends and family in Europe, where they usually provide a basket with slippers in. We automatically remove our shoes now. Most people take theirs off if they visit us without being asked.
Shoes can still be dirty even if they don’t look it, with dog or cat poo or wee on pavements everywhere so don’t need to be caked in mud.
If someone does come in my house with shoes on I have to try not to look annoyed, but it is irritating. Carpet newish but is supposed to see us out.

My husband used to have a customer who I believe was Persian. Her house was carpeted throughout with WHITE carpets. All the walls were white too as well as most of the soft furnishings.

In her hall she kept a row of what my husband described as “pixie boots” in every size and she made every visitor wear them.