If I went to someone's home and they asked me to take my shoes off, I would walk back out.
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Visitors, shoes on or off?
(166 Posts)What do you do about asking visitors to take their shoes off...? I dont have carpets so it doesn't bother me. When we went to a dinner party recently we were asked to take footwear off.. it was cool and wet...i felt a bit daft in my barefeet and cocktail dress. What do others think?
We don’t ask visitors to put their shoes off.
if they do it automatically,we tell them, that they may, but that it is not necessary
Granmarderby10
I did wonder why home carers might not be allowed to wear those plastic shoe coverings though, according to someone’s comment upthread? …they might slip?
Yes, they are considered a slip hazard. I took it up with the Manager and that’s what she confirmed. I asked her if she would be happy with people coming into her home with dirty outdoor shoes and she said “No I would not because I have new carpets.”
I don’t see why care workers are any different to nurses, physios, OTs and speech therapists who all ask whether they should remove their shoes.
Greenfinch
That is an interesting point about which door visitors arrive by. I expect it is generally by the front door but growing up in army quarters and council houses our visitors always entered by the back door and the front door was rarely used. Nowadays we have a side gate that is generally locked and so we welcome all and sundry at the front door. Still no shoes removed though unless they choose to do so .
Our family never used the front door.
Perhaps back doors and boot room do make 'shoes off' easy.
That is an interesting point about which door visitors arrive by. I expect it is generally by the front door but growing up in army quarters and council houses our visitors always entered by the back door and the front door was rarely used. Nowadays we have a side gate that is generally locked and so we welcome all and sundry at the front door. Still no shoes removed though unless they choose to do so .
We all have our peccadillos Aveline, I had a friend for many years who let her dog eat off the table, some would have found that ridiculous but none of her friends let it trouble them because she was such a lovely person. Am not saying I am a lovely person but most of the visitors to our house have come time and again so taking their shoes off hasn’t bothered them.
And if people think I am ridiculous so be it, at my age I have endured worse insults than that.
I don't expect welcome visitors to come in via the staff entrance!
Depends if they come through the front once through the hall they are straight onto a light lounge carpet but to be honest most of my visitors remove their shoes in the hall and I would take mine off at their house, especially if bad weather outside. If they come through the side door into the utility then the kitchen its tiled so not necessary.
Babs03
How was it cool and wet at the dinner party?
Were you asked to go barefoot in the garden??
That would be weird.
We ask visitors to take off their shoes because although we have wooden floors we have some expensive Persian carpets in places. Everyone obliges quite happily. And when we had workmen in we rolled up the carpets and put old sheets down over the floors so we didn’t expect them to take off their boots.
When house hunting a year ago we regularly were asked to take off our shoes when viewing a property especially when the weather outside was bad.
Most people ask at the door if they should remove footwear so we don’t really have to remind people very often.
You may say your guests take their shoes off quite happily....and I guess some do....others ( like me) will smile and say 'no worries' but be thinking how ridiculous is this
I just open the front door and visitors come in. That's it.
My visitors must be comfy taking their shoes off, as soon as they sit down they curl up on the sofa, or feet up on my stone table.
TBH I can’t afford to keep replacing my carpets.
NotAGran55
My guests’ comfort is more important than flooring, and I wouldn’t dream of asking them to remove their footwear.
Shoes are an important part of an outfit in any case.
That is why we put wood floors downstairs. I personally think carpets are so unhygienic, tbh.
Well I suppose I could be wrong, one can always be wrong about almost anything in life, but you seem to be certain that I am wrong, without knowing me or my visitors/friends I find that rather strange.
I could always ask you to put the shoe on the other foot - pun intended - and say how can you be sure that people you have visited without asking if you should take your shoes off didn’t feel uncomfortable with you wearing your shoes but were too polite to say anything?
Am sure you will insist this couldn’t be the case just as I have.
Perhaps we should just accept that being judgemental about other peoples preferences probably isn’t advisable.
I don’t care if someone prefers people to wear shoes in their houses that’s their choice and by the same token I would hope they would feel similarly about those who prefer for people to take off their shoes.
That's almost worse. You're so absolutely sure that your guests are and will be comfortable. What if you're wrong and they're just being polite?
*pedant alert - stand there, not their
Aveline
How do you know that your visitors are not uncomfortable?
We ask, and don’t actually stand their arms folded ready to wrestle any shoe wearers to the floor. Hopefully we come across as the kind of people who will be happy for a visitor to leave their shoes on if it is more comfortable for them.
Aveline
How do you know that your visitors are not uncomfortable?
For one, I only invite close friends and family into my home.
They know me and I know them well enough, they would definitely say if they were uncomfortable, just like they say if they do not like a certain food, wine, etc.
Aveline
How do you know that your visitors are not uncomfortable?
They’re far too polite to say.
How do you know that your visitors are not uncomfortable?
We must move in different circles because most people we know take off their shoes when visiting someone and all our grown children do this too as do their friends.
My DH is originally from the ME where everyone removes their shoes and usually there are rows of slippers to put on. We offer slippers in all manner of shapes and sizes in a big basket by the door.
Nobody who has visited us has felt uncomfortable or affronted and many seem glad to relax in slippers.
But I was brought up in a household where we wore shoes indoors, and visitors never took their shoes off. I do think that the younger generation are driving this change though so pretty soon taking shoes off at the door will become how things are done.
Tbh if a visitor did feel uncomfortable about taking their shoes off we wouldn’t insist. We are not that strict about it.
I'm late 50s and we always had to take our shoes off at home or when visiting grandparents. We had Korean neighbors once and no one would get through their front door with shoes on a complete no in their culture.
Moii
If you arrive at my house and walk dog shit all through my hall how disgusting.
Actually if you dump their dog shitty shoes in your hall, that’s disgusting too. 💩
If you arrive at my house and walk dog shit all through my hall how disgusting.
I have a doormat inside the front door, and my longish narrow hall is lined with rugs (a hangover from when my little dog was around), so by the time people have walked the length of those their shoes have deposited more or less anything brought in from outside.
I have a large multicoloured rug by my front door that I clean on a regular basis. Next to it is a low shoe rack. If people want to take their shoes off they can leave them there. If they want to keep them on then they are welcome to.
We have a mixture of wood and rugs in our living area (an expensive Chinese one 🤣🤣 that mum and dad bought before leaving HK) It, luckily, seems to be impervious to dirt!
Life is too short.
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