Thank you all for your help and advice..it is awful yes but I am slowly coming to terms with it. I am amazed that so many of you are able to empathise with me and my family on this - after all, you don'tknow me or my son. My son - how can I explain how unfair this is for him, his children and our family? I would not blame anyone for privately thinking 'he must have done something awful for her to behave like that' - I would have done. He isn't perfect, who is ? He can be stubborn, he's lazy about diy and gardening, but he is quite possibly one of the kindest people I know. I feel very humbled by him a lot of the time - his honesty, his integrity, his committment to his family, the sacrifices he has made to give his wife what she wanted from the start of their marriage which was two lovely children and the ability to continue to pursue her highly paid career which feeds her obsesion with material things. She picked him up in a bar 12 years ago and he was flattered and in awe of her. Almost from the start, she spelled out her demands from him - move in with her, get engaged, get married, get her pregnant. He complied. When the baby was born, he took on so much of the day to day responsibility so that his wife could rest and recover. Then she returned to work and his own work had to take second place to delivering the baby to nursery and collecting her, dropping tools when she was ill so as to stay home with her. Then baby no 2 was demanded and the same pattern followed. He did it happily. When that child reached school age, suddenly my dil started talking divorce, saying she wasn't happy. And here we are now watching her smash it all to pieces - the grounds she has given for divorce are so pathetic, almost laughable. Its as though he has served his purpose - as sperm donor and live in 'nanny' and now he is to be chucked out with the garbage. All he cares about now is his children and they love him so much. The irony is that she can buy child carers and her parents (who should have encouraged her to stick with her marriage) prefer to indulge her every whim and will help her in her destruction derby. She cares not one jot for the psychological health of her children and how they will come to terms with not having their beloved Daddy in their home all the time. So there's the background - a faithful husband and loving father going to waste. What is the matter with the woman?