Caring Neighbour.....

Flickety

As I have said before something could look like abuse until the full circumstances are known.
You may have remembered me saying a son was 72 and his father was on NHS funding in a nursing home some distance away from where he lived.
The son was visiting him most days and had been doing so for about 5 years and as a result the mileage on the son's car had gone sky high.
When he consulted Age Concern / Court of protection the initial reaction was it would be abuse to buy a new car financed mainly with the fathers money but when the advisor looked at the situation more they concluded it would not be abuse as using the father's funds was the only way the son could afford to continue the visits.
Also the son was the sole beneficiary of the will so using the father's money for that purpose did not matter.

Frank

There is nothing illegal about giving a solicitor a POA. In a case like this it is very sensible. The solicitor may say he wants to live in her house when she dies, but this will only happen if she has left it to him in her will. But if she has no other relatives and she is clearly receiving a good service from him and is happy with this. I do not think there is any evidence of financial abuse.

The question of the carers taking things is more serious, although you do say you think that it is simply a question of things being mislaid. However when it comes to people making promises about how they will leave their money, these promises should never be taken seriously. A lot of people uses declarations on how they will leave their money as means of 'buying' friendship and controlling people while they are alive. While others assume rights to inheritance, as many a 'common law' wife has found to her cost.

Whatever was said or assumed before death the only thing that counts after the death is the legally drawn up will.

To be honest I don't. I don't want to move and if he ends up being my neighbour.... But I am aware of it not being ethical and I think I have mentioned it to the right people

The solicitor appears to behaving unethically and you should report him to the Law Society if you wish to do something about this.

I have an elderly neighbour who has given a solicitor POA many years ago. She has said that he thinks the world of her and wants to live in her house when she is"gone" she never receives a bill from him although his firm pays her bills and attends to repairs to her house. I have been worried about the situation for some time . She has carers in twice a day and often says things disappear. The house is very cluttered so I suspect things are mislaid and she does have a bit of a persecution complex. She can turn very nasty abusing people over the phone but taken in by people being friendly. I'm afraid I give her a wide berth these days but I have a local policeman know of my fears. Sadly she has no family left to keep an eye on her and she is not very educated- filling in forms or understanding bills. I wonder if this sort of situation is rife. I had an unpleasant situation w ith an elderly uncle where he had told drinking pals that he would see them right as he said and I had people phoning me up and then calling in to his solicitor to see what they had been left. People who were not necessarily poor but grasping.

Concerned

All I am saying is make sure things are looked at properly before getting involved with any legal action.

Frank

Concerned

Can you tell me how the neighbour is getting access to her money.
I could understand it if the neighbour has your aunts PIN number or if there is a third party mandate in place.

Also how close are her relatives to her in visiting terms etc?.
My wife for example passed away and my mother in law outlived her.
Myself and my daughters cared for her for the last 4 years of her life and the money was willed to my daughters.
About 6 months before she passed away some of the relatives on her side of the family came along wanting to take over her care and look after her money. She had not seen these relatives in over 20 years.
They also tried to say my daughters were too young to receive a fairly large inheritance and would spend the money on drugs etc.
The matter never got to any legal stage and my mother in law did not alter her will.
My daughters invested most of the money and used some of it to make their lives at university a bit more comfortable.
The rest went on house purchase.

Frank

Speak to Citizens Advice Bureau, they will be able to advise you as well.

Thanks for all the advice. I'll contact the police and see what they say.

Police will help, and if there's enough evidence to warrant further action, they will obtain missing statements or details of withdrawals. Worth speaking to a customer service advisor or manager to give information about your concerns. Thy won't disclose information to you yet, if you don't have formal permission, but can keep an eye out for irregularities. This is something my daughter does at her bank, and she picks up irregularities to bring to her manager's attention when she can see her customers would not have not personally withdrawn money because they are elderly and infirm, or otherwise vulnerable. Your aunt could request that she is contacted to consent to withdrawals over a certain amount, but I would imagine this person has now got an inkling he is suspected - he would be foolish to try it again.

I agree with all the above. Involve the police and social services and talk to AGe UK asap. This is very worrying. Cany you get the locks changed in the meantime to keep this man out? How would you aunt feel about not seeing him?

How awful for you Concerned and it seems even more urgent that you discuss this with the police. There are some ruthless people out there.

Yes, the neighbour handed over my Aunt's PO card via Social Services after I made it clear that I was investigating. He gave lots of excuses as to why he has had to draw so much money out of the account but there's nothing to back them up. I've tried getting copies of the missing statements sent to her home but this is proving difficult without Deputisation rights (likely to take 4 months to come through) or a signature (impossible as she's deteriorated so much) or speaking to her (again impossible as she's totally incapable of holding a conversation) or getting a Doctor's letter to support the fact these she's incapable of doing the above. This whole situation is so frustrating and the chances of her passing away while we persevere with this is getting greater every day.

Crossed posts nelliem

Good suggestions here Concerned and I agree with others that you should talk to the police. I would also suggest that you should contact the local adult services department (social services) as they have a duty to investigate suspected adult abuse including financial abuse.

Yes I would be worried and reading it again I would discuss with the police who could advise.

It is potenially financial abuse and would be regarded as elder abuse by social services. Mind you. prosescuting someone could be difficult if your relative didn't want to and was competent enough to decide that.

While you are checking this can you stop the neighbour from having access to her finances.
I dont know what the neighbour is like but I would suggest you go to see him with someone else. Some people make a habit of targetting vulnerable elderly for financial gain.

Try Age UK site they may also have advice.

I have all the paperwork the neighbour had but there are significant dates missing when it comes to the withdrawals he has been making on her behalf. There is quite a bit more to this story which involves missing jewellery and him convincing her to make a will in which he is named as executor and beneficiary of her property and residual estate. I should add that I am not in line to benefit from my Aunt's estate financially as I'm not a blood relative but I do hate the feeling that she has been manipulated to leave everything to him. I see this as my duty to my Aunt to make sure that all is above board.

I would also engage the help of a friend or relative to go over the paperwork with you,you could then approach the neighbour and politly ask if that is all the paper work and receipts that he/she is aware of as you will need all relivant money transactions for your application for Deputyship,this will give him/her the chance to correct things if they are not aboveboard and also make her/him aware that you are checking things financially for your aunt,I think most Police Stations have someone you can chat to if you have concerns and they will put you on the correct way to report any adverse behaviour.Take care.x

Thanks Jess, the neighbour has been aware that there is family willing to assist but has chosen not to make contact, suspicious in itself! I have recently gained access to a considerable amount of paperwork relating to my Aunt's affairs and noted some inconsistencies in the amounts of money withdrawn by the neighbour on her behalf and those paid out. After the Easter break I intend to seek a number of missing statements from PO and Bank accounts to add to the evidence. Didn't want to leave it too long before I formally raised my concerns but just don't know who I should raise them with and whether the police would be interested with the limited evidence I have. I have a Brother who is also aware of the situation but I'm leading on sorting out the financial affairs of my Aunt.

Good morning concerned and welcome to GN. This sounds like a big worry. Older people can get very dependent on the goodwill and support of neighbours if there are no family members living nearby. And quizzing an elderly widow about financial affairs may not prove fruitful. (i know my MIL would just get flustered, even though she is fully compos mentis)
I think in your shoes I would first find someone else - a trusted friend or relative of yours - to look over the statements etc, just to make sure i had not missed anything - and to give you someone with whom you can share your concerns.