Meeting partner later in life

I don't think my children could afford to lend us what we needed to improve the house Frank. They looked into it with us and were happy for us to go ahead. I have some regrets now as our mortgage was paid off now we have something rolling up that will have to be paid when we pop off. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Too late now though.

Flowerofthewest

Equity release is something my children have asked me to avoid and they said that they would lend me the money if needed and put a charge on the house so that money could not be taken for care fees etc.
In all honesty I am hoping to leave the house and some money to the children.
I may have to go to them for money if I was wanting to replace my car every 3 years etc until I am 107 but I don't think that is likely to happen.

Frank

fyi jamjam we have our own accounts and a joint savings account - holidays, expenses etc. - My DH pays household bills and I have housekeeping and use my money towards housekeeping and sundries plus try to save a bit. We both have work pensions DH has a good pension and the state pension, I have state pension and, as I took a lump sum when I retired, a small top up each month from my works pension. We manage.

I agree Jamjam, hope you really really indulge yourselves, I too am in a second marriage - 29 years now. We both have grown up children and one of those is 'ours'. We did (and I am not sure if we did the right thing) take out Equity Release a few years ago. We did ask the children who all said that it was our decision and they were quite happy for us to do that. They really expect nothing but there will be something left for them to share. I suppose looking at it now (after 5 minutes of me ranting) that the mirror wills should also say that whoever is left on this mortal coil should ensure that all 6 children should get an equal share, even though my contribution to the family home was more than my DH (I think) It's making sure that there is no bad feelings between siblings when money is dished out.

Flower, I only meant what is left over, if anything, after OH and I have fully indulged our holiday habit for as long as poxssible and paid for a civilised level of care if we become unable to beindependent. its quite difficult to time ones demise to the same moment that the money runs out!

I will probably be accused of going off track but I do not for the life of me see that any children are ENTITLED at all. Children generally. People work hard for their money and retirement and I really do believe in SKI-ing! mean though it sounds hopefully my 'children' will be middle aged and beyond by the time I pop my clogs. Not struggling students or young parents. Just my humble opinion. I will leave a will but it will be a simple will. I may be seen as simple myself but all this about entitlement is beyond me. No one is entitled and it should not be expected that money or property is left to ones offspring although it is. I intend to enjoy my retirement and spend any spare money on holidays and my children while I am alive. Not that I have loads to spare.Don't mind being corrected if I am seen as wrong - I am expecting it. It may even change my opinion. Eeeeek I feel I have asked for it

OH and I each have separate incomes and own bank accounts, cards etc, but we basically share all spending and evedy month or so we sit down together and do a joint accounting to make sure we can afford all our spending between us. This does require trust and honesty, I do not feel the need to have my own secret stash of 'running away money' just in case, as was the case in a previous less trusting relationship.

We each have grown up children from before our marriage. When we marrried we sold both houses and bought jointly. At the time we made a list of all capital, investments etc and agreed the percentage we each brought into the equation. Our wills set up a trust on the death of the first which puts house, money etc into the trust for the benefit of the survivor. Trustees are the survivor and the eldest child of each of us. On death of the second of us, the trust is wound up and his percentage goes to his two children, my percentage goes to my two. Percentages can be amended if one of us inherits a sum of capital for instance.

Sounds complicated, but was vedynimportant to us both that it should be totally clear to the children that our marriage would not make them lose out. OHs mother died when he was a child, father remarried and eventually left all to his second wife, who in turn left all to her own children. OH still very bitter about losing everything that had been his mothers, and that was 30 years ago.

Think the most important things are trust and honesty.

storynanny

You are asking a difficult question and I can only say decide what you basically want and see a solicitor about getting some form of legally binding agreement drawn up.

Is it definitely totally his house?.
My mother and father owned their house on a tenants in common basis and I was in occupation of the house.
Mum left me her half of the house.
When my mother died I moved in to that house and a lady befriended Dad.
After about 18 months she demanded I left knowing I had spent a lot of money on the house.
Before I could speak Dad said that was not going to happen.
This lady had a house which she was living in it.
Dad died 3 years later and I got pestered by about 20 people saying I should hand the house to her for nearly a year in spite of Dad's half being willed to me and me being the legal owner of Mum's half

The other thing to consider is if you pre decease your partner what will you want to happen to your house.
You could will it to him but that would be unsatisfactory from your children's point of view.
You could give him a life time interest in the property but that could cause difficulties if he then meets somebody else and she outlives him.

I am widowed with 2 daughters and 4 granddaughters who live local and I am on very good terms with them.
I am not going to get another partner after my father's experience.

Frank