Off to sit in on another care assessment today.

Being a straightforward kind of lass, I would prefer to hear a short expletive (well most of them, anyway), to nicely spoken nastiness or sarcasm.
They are clear, concise and to the point. I'm sure they can be used elegantly at times.

I'm afraid you did diffuse (rather than defuse ) the situation Aka!!
Take your point, Bags of course they will mimic what their peers say. Apparently when DH was 3 his parents were picking him up from kindergarten in Geneva one day and FIL, seeing DH looked upset asked him what was the matter. DH blurted out that so-and-so was" a rotten bu**er!! "- MIL at this turned round and promtly laid into her husband on the grounds that he must have heard language like that from him!!

graces, small point, but sometimes the swear words young children use are first heard at school (and repeated there) rather than at home. Actually, my guess is that that happens quite often. I'm not suggesting the kids hear teachers or other adults at school using them, but that they hear other children.

The post containing the 'f' word remains, though. Presumably no one reported it...

2 post deleted? Now were they reported or were HQ being vigilant? No please don't answer! I don't want to open another can of worms!

BB there is no such illness as 'confused personality syndrome' I was just speculating wondering why Grace kept answering for you, why did she think i was addressing her when clearly I told you to back off. I was certainly confused!
It's clear you think the worst of me but all your comments are supposed to be ironic. Fair enough. I'm happy to take whatever you want to dish out, but I supposed you'll call that 'sanctimonious twaddle' too.
I've been out all afternoon and just wanted to set the record straight on my return. I did try to diffuse the situation several times but ...

Talking of irony...I used two **s in the middle of my swear word. Others who objected just used the 'f' so I apologise for the extra 'k' which appears to make all the difference

Of course I didn't take offence at what I took to be an ironic reference to an earlier post from Aka so I think GNHQ have been over zealous and missed the point.
There may be situations and occasions when nobody takes exception to the "F" word, but it is sad when that sort of language drifts into the realm of the acceptable. Just as I hate to hear little children swear - and they have much more excuse as they are only repeating what they hear at home, so I find it offensive when used in anger in a situation such as this.
Whether it is preferable to "nicely spoken nastiness" is a moot point. Churchill, Oscar Wilde among others were famous for managing to deliver an insult in the most elegant and articulate way imaginable - we remember those, while "*f**" remains the last resort of the inarticulate.

Same here. Harrigran. people can say whatever they like about it being perfectly acceptable these days, means nothing and is used by everyone from 2 to 92. I still don't like it. It has been considered and vulgar and aggressive term of abuse for a long time, and it does NOT lose its power to shock. That is why it it used - if it were no stronger than any other word, then there would be no incentive to use it when shock is the effect wanted.

Agree harri, if any of my friends or family are inclined to use such language they never do it around me.

I would have to disagree with the f word being fairly acceptable nowadays, it is never used around me and if it was used to my face I would be livid.

The reason I asked Petallus is that because of deletions made in the thread, it is now difficult to follow what happened re mental illness comments. To be absolutely clear, and for the avoidance of all doubt, Aka in her post of 11.55:26 accused Grace of having confused personality syndrome. Aka's post was subsequently deleted but Grace refers to it in her post of 12.02:55. I was furious, as I have been in the past at Aka's potentially hurtful psychobabble and told her so in no uncertain terms at 12.04:07. Any comments after that were meant to be ironic - but if Aka dishes it out, she has to be able to take it, whether the comments are ironic or not. I just wanted clarification from you as to who you thought was making the comments - perish the thought that you'd jump to the conclusion it was me. And Aka, if you're reading this, which I'm sure you are, heed Petallus's wise words about making suggestions about mental illness!!

I love Gransnet!

Anybody suggesting it about anybody bluebell

I know it's in the heat of the moment but still......

Do you mean Aka suggesting that about Grace?

I've only just read through this thread.

Saying f*ck is fairly acceptable these days. On Mumsnet they don't bother with the asterisks.

Anyway, swearing is, to me, preferable to nicely spoken nastiness.

Except that I do object to someone suggesting that another poster has a mental illness.

Not wishing to second guess what a GNetter has posted, but I wonder if Tegan might have been hoping to defuse a situation which had got very heated IMO.

Not getting involved in this spat but would like to make a point of order - doesn't aka apply to pretty much all of us? My name could be John Smith, Jane Jones etc but I am aka Movedalot. Just seems like too much speculation about one member's name, this is not the first time.

Plenty of members have changed their names, some chose to explain why and some didn't - it doesn't matter one jot, their reasons are personal unless they chose to reveal them. This really does seem to be a time to 'get over it'. I was told that we did have a member who posted as 2 different people and I don't like the idea of that, it does sound deceitful to me but I like to think that was a one off.

Just this morning someone mentioned that I had not been seen posting recently well if you take a look at the above thread maybe it will explain why,is so easy to insult a person unintentionally when they cannot see the facial expressions conveyed with the comment and any mention of the "f" word in any context is not acceptable imo.

Tegan I don't have problem with your name. It has a lovely meaning and that was all I was pointing out. So now you're going to jump on the bandwagon with BB, Grace and When I'm off....don't bother adding posts aimed at me I won't be here to read them.

Aka please do read my post again. It was your comment that referred to mealy mouthed members that I queried, and rather than assume you meant it, I asked you to clarify.

It was given to me by a very dear friend who wanted to make me feel brave when wading into situations that I found unpleasant but had to face [such as defending someone that someone was being a complete bitch towards]. What the hell is your problem AKA?

Running scared for cover

Aka - what on earth are you playing at? It's quite common to support other members in a variety of ways - this is not 'answering for' and who the are you to tell Grace whether or not to escalate matters? You are really showing you true colours this morning - very impressive- a bullying, threatening tone in your posts which is quite unacceptable

Tegan Have you googled the meaning of your online name?

Having pondered Grace, I will use both words next time ( and there will be a next time)