Please bear with me, this is my 1st post and I'm new to the forum. Its a long story.
I am 40. I have 4 children, ranging from 11 years to 20 years old. I'm divorced from their Dad but remarried to a wonderful man who's 50. When we married we also had his 2 children with us as well. We made a conscious decision NOT to have children together.
We raised all 6 together. The eldest came home at 18 pregnant and we supported her whilst she sorted it all out, and she's now at Uni and we have the benefit of an amazing 6 year old grandson who we have lot of contact with.
At home now, we have 3 left. The others have moved out and have jobs and lives etc. The relationships are all good though.
My 17 year old has just come home and told me his girlfriend is pregnant, about 7 weeks we think. She's 19. She lives in a 'hostel' of sorts I believe. One that the council supports for independent living I think. I'm not 100% sure how it works.
She has a 4 year old already, her mother looks after it. She also has an 11 week old baby girl that has been given to foster parents, although I think she's trying to regain residency of her. Her mother is trying as well, but the SS are saying they don't feel she'll be able to cope.
We don't actually know that the baby is my sons. She openly admits she has slept with her ex boyfriend during the period she's been with my son. My son is adamant (with all the wisdom of a 17 yr old?!?!) that he is the Dad, regardless of blood. If that's how he feels, then I don't see how I can argue, since we're a combined family ourselves and my husband is living proof that you don't have to be a biological father to be a Dad.
My question is though, clearly SS are going to be involved. She has long term involvement with them already. Would we be considered to look after this baby should it be removed again? My son has suggested that if we would allow him and the baby to live here to support him he would see this as the best option available, which in an ideal world I also think would be the best outcome. I just think at 17 it could be all bluster and bravado.
I'm totally worried about investing emotionally in a child that potentially could be whipped away from us almost immediately. I can't imagine the pain of imagining a grandchild being in the care system.
Rach x
Good Morning Saturday 16th May 2026


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