Sons girlfriend pregnant

OP was 2013. The baby would be a toddler by now. Why resurrect the thread

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She's hard work emotionally. She doesn't seem to have the normal range.

Imagine a line

(this end is extreme sadness)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(this end very happy)

most of us sit in the middle with extremes sometimes. She doesn't seem to! She only seems to have the exact middle range. I actually believe she has some type of learning difficulty, I just don't really know what though.

The last baby was removed to 'protect' it. I don't think she'll ever tell me the whole story but something about 'I had half a bottle of Calpol in my fridge because I can't take tablets well, but they thought I'd given it to the baby'. How much of that is truth is anyones guess.

I have made a point of 'befriending' her for now. I feel it will be of benefit to all of us to at least be on good terms.

I was a young Mum myself, and my own Mum was just 17 when she had me, so I do understand their wanting to keep it. Only she is bleeding a little now, so maybe nature will take it's course. We'll have to wait and see.

She's DEFINITELY pregnant lol. I did the test with her myself. My brothers are 10 months apart, so it's entirely possible

Rach x

Anno I don't think they could lean on anyone to get contraception, they could not be that draconian.

Such extreme cases are very rare but in theory a woman who as been deemed as a severe risk to children could go on having them as fast as the courts can remove them.

In practice each time she gave birth the SSD and the courts would have to go through a new assessment with each child. (Unless things have changed in the last couple of years.)
They don't immediately whip the child away in all cases . Sometimes they do try highly supervised contact from the start.

Don't they also have to consider the welfare of children she might have in future and help her to make informed decisions about her fertility?

Anno Re her getting contraception, Bolts and stable doors come to mind!

If she has had a couple of children taken from her already that on a deep and instinctive level she just wants to replace them .

Its very hard for her, but having had two children removed already and a string of boyfriends does suggest that she has had more than her fair share of difficulties in the past.

I feel sorry for the poor lass, but the professionals do have to put the welfare of her children first.

It's always posdible that the ex boyfriend may decide that he wants a paternity test. If that happens, and he is the father, that's a whole new difficult situation to deal with. It would be worth while discussing that possibility with your son.

It is not Rachelettes teenage daughter that is pregnant Frank. It is her 17 year old sons girlfriend. Who at the tender age of 19 is now pregnant with her third child!

What a situation to be in Rachelette. Your son at 17 has to be admired for the maturity of taking responsibility for the pregnancy. However from what you say there are some doubts remaining as to whether the child is his or not. I had my son at 18. I was very mature for my age and worked full time with very little family support so it can work out well. My son is now 33 and is a good father to his own children. My worry is that this young girl seems to take no responsibility at all. Having had 2 babies so very young and not being in a position to care for either of them, why is she not using contraception? I would also worry that she could allow him (and you) become very attached to this new baby and then drop a bombshell that it is not his after all.

What that girlfriend needs also is contraceptive advice and, I would suggest, an implant. I suspect she also needs to see a doctor if she only 'thinks' she is seven weeks pregnant. Presumably your son does know about the risks of unprotected sex? How can she tell she is pregnant when the baby is only 11 weeks old? What a mess, Rachelette. When my son, then 20, and his then GF, 25 and a mother of two, announced that I was going to be a granny, I wasn't overjoyed, but let the whole thing run its course - it did turn out well, on the whole, and I hope that all this turns out well for you and your family.

It is a nightmare your teenage daughter getting pregnant.
I was glad when my first granddaughter came 9 months and 3 days after my daughter got married.
She came 1 day early.

Frank

I'm a bit confused as to how she could have a baby and within the first 4 weeks have slept with two men and got pregnant. Is she actually telling the truth? Are pregnancy tests reliable when someone has just had a baby? This young man will have financial responsibility for years ahead. All credit to you Rachelette, for being so supportive .

If you haven't done so already, it might be worth trying to establish a working relationship with the pregnant girl friend. She might welcome your support and understanding.
Also, if she has an 11 week old baby girl and she thinks she is 7 weeks pregnant then she has hardly recovered from that birth yet and may be feeling very tired and emotionally bereft.

Rachelette I do feel for you but I feel for your boy also,such a young age to be a father and have all the problems on his shoulders that he will share with this girlfriend,I would have to go down the route of just supporting them (if they stay together) until the child is born and insist on a paternity test,I know they are costly but with the girls history ( and I do not mean that in a horrible way at all) you must be sure your boy is the childs father,for his peace of mind and for your own.I know she is young but does she have the slightest idea of the responsibilities of being a mum and for both of them to use contraception after this baby arrives.Best of luck.

Rachelette. (((hugs))) Every mum's worst nightmare! I hope it works out OK.

If a mum want's to put the Dad on the birth certificate he needs to be present.

Thanks x Just asked my Social Worker sister (she works geriatrics) and she's given me a friends name to contact for help and info

Perhaps you could ask to see SS yourself. I don't know how it all works, but there may be a way. It could be devastating to look after the baby and then have it taken away. I wish you all the best of luck.

No no Bags, it's fine. I get you.

For me it could never have been an option, I just couldn't have done it.

I am actually pro-choice because I think you shouldn't judge other people until you walk a mile in their shoes.

I also think ALL options should be given to them anyway. Knowledge is important.

No. They won't consider an abortion. It was one of the options we discussed with them.

Hopefully she won't disappear between now and delivery and write whatever boyfriend is flavour of the month on Birth Cert <sigh>

PS I mentioned abortion simply as a legal option. Nothing more than that.

What do paternity tests costs?

I suppose they haven't considered abortion.

Iwould think that, so long as the girlfriend names your son as the father on the birth certificate, then no one could take the child from him or you. So long as between you you can show that you can give the child a stable home, which you obviously can.