assessment for sgo.

beverley6 try not to worry about this as the social worker is not trying to catch you out, but simply wants to know as much as possible about you. There are no 'right' or 'wrong' answers so you can relax and just be yourself. It's part of his/her remit to question the other children of the household, but again, it's just to get as much information as possible. No-one is looking for, or expecting, you to be a 'perfect' parent.
Please come back and let us know how you get on.

My niece has to have this visit too. She has been told by her daughter that she can 'have the baby as she cannot cope with her' Baby is just a year old.

I undertake these assessments, and as grannyactivist says, you just need to be open and be yourself. The assessment is looking at your emotional capacity to look after another child to adulthood and to ensure that you are sufficiently fit and healthy. The purpose of speaking to your adult children is twofold; firstly to gain their perspective of you as a parent, and secondly to ensure that all family members are happy with the idea as it is important that the child is not caught up in family conflict.

In circumstances where there are child protection concerns regarding the parents, then the assessment also needs to ensure that you will be committed to keeping the child safe and will not be swayed by divided loyalties. However this would usually follow a period where you have acted as family foster carers before applying for an SGO and this would have already been tested.

Good luck, family care is almost always the best option for a child who cannot live with parents.

the story is this.....
my 22 year old daughter has some mental health issues, when she suspected she was pregnant she stole a pregnancy test and got arrested.
ss became involved because she had a complete break down 2 years ago and there was an incident with her then 12 year old brother. there were no charges bought against her as she had an independent psychiatric report that stated she didnt know what she was doing, and she didnt. because of that incident she 'flashes' up as a risk to minors, unfair but thats how it is.
anyway, babys father has been to prison a couple of times for violence and cannabis growing/supplying.
my daughter had a pre birth assessment which stated that she couldnt put her baby and the safety of her baby above the relationship and that basically if she stayed with this bloke then she would lose her child.
myself and ss managed to move her to this area while she was pregnant into semi supported living. at this time the boyfriend was in prison for assaulting my daughter and breaking every bail condition not to go near her.
needless to say they got in contact with each other and within a week of him being released he was living with her (not allowed under her tenancy agreement)
he was at the birth as was i (emergency c section).
my daughter had had a meeting with her new sw the day before boyfriend was released, and again as a couple. they had to sign an agreement that he could visit everyday 10am - 3pm.
the same day he decided that i would be 'controlling and take over' if as planned i moved in with my daughter for a short period to help. i was very upset by this as that is the last thing i would do. i went home and he managed to get my daughter on his side and sw came to visit in the hospital they both said how i'd walked out etc.

sw then decides that she has 'some' of the report from the other area (i was given a full report and so was my daughter weeks before) and that my daughter had to be assessed as capable before she could go home with her baby. my daughter asked if the boyfriend could go with her and sw said yes.
they were then sent off up to birmingham to be assessed as a couple. i rung sw with my concerns about the relationship and the fact that he had just come out of prison for assault on my daughter, and her response was 'on paper he looks better' (icouldnt believe that bit!)
anyway, they failed the assessment as a couple (monitoring equipment was put in place because of his mental abuse towards my daughter) and baby was placed with foster carers.
just before they took baby we had an initial assessment during which sw said that the boyfriend was adamant that i should have no contact with baby at all and that i drink excessively, that is why baby is in foster care and not with me, however sw supports me for a long term carer.

we have been back and forward to court a couple of times, and last time the guardian said that she supports me having baby with further assessment, so that has now started.
sorry for the really long post just wanted to state all the facts!

and can i just add for the record that i dont drink excessively!
boyfriend has only ever been to my house for 1 xmas and mine and my daughters joint birthdays!

What a nightmare all this must be for you beverley. If the guardian and sw are supporting you then I think you have every chance of being successful. Try not to worry about this new assessment, it sounds as if you have already been through a few assessments and this one will be very similar. You will have the advantage that it will be done in a planned way and not in an immediate crisis like the others might have been. Many people feel that a planned assessment is quite positive in helping them to look at all the issues and possible complications. The assessor will be approaching it with a positive frame of mind as well. I do hope it will all work out for you.

Just one more thing - make sure the local authority draw up a proper support plan so you know you will have backup in the future if you need it.

beverley . I can't help as have no experience of this but just wanted to send you a flower and a hug.

And the same from me, too, beverley6. You must be going up the wall with all this, but stay strong and keep coming on here? Some of our members are really well-informed, as you can see.

Beverley6, I'm a retired social worker/children's guardian. I have nothing to add to Nightowl's posts, other than to agree with her comments and advice. All social work assessments start from the premise that children are best with parents, and if that isn't safe/possible, with a family member. It's good they're assessing you with a view to a SGO, as that indicates the initial assessment was positive. Your daughter's partner sounds a real problem, and I second the advice to ensure there is a proper support plan in place so you have necessary back up in relation to contact arrangements for your daughter and her partner. SG's are sometimes left to make their own arrangements for contact with the child's parents, and that is something they'll discuss with you. Think through your views on that, and be open to a wide discussion about how you would promote a positive view of the child's parents (to the best of your ability, as Nightowl said, no one expects miracles, just a focus on the best interests of the child) Good luck x

thanks guys
its hard to try to get family and friends to understand why im doing this so it means a lot to me.
the llady said to me that orders can be put in place for visitation etc.
i am frightened of failing the assessment as no one in the boyfriends family has come forward, except a sister that hes never met who lives in ibiza and if she failed too dear baby would be adopted.
i would always try to promote positive contact and want baby to know who her parents are, im nanny not mummy.

well guys i have passed my assessment
we are back in court again on thursday so i will update how we get on.

beverley6 I am glad that there are gransnetters with professional experience who can – and have – offered you advice. I can't, but I just want to wish you well for Thursday and, indeed, for the future when, if there is any justice in this world, you will be caring for your granddaughter. I hope, too, that your daughter gets the help and support she needs to escape her troubled relationship and resume a more normal family life.

Good luck for Thursday beverley6

Beverley my heart goes out to you. Your so brave doing all you can for your Grandchild and standing by your daughter. Her boyfriend sounds as if he's manipulating type. I hope all goes well for you on Thursday and in the future. Good luck. I'm glad you have found good advice and support here.

Good luck from me too Beverley.

Hello again Beverley the Brave and well done so far. My advice for Thursday would be the same as before; just be yourself.

beverley very best wishes from me for Thursday

Best wishes for Thursday Beverley and for the future

Thinking of you, Beverley!

Beverley good wishes for Thursday

Counting all the metaphorical flowers sent to you, you must have a metaphorical conservatory full by now. What are your favourites?

the support on here is brilliant i dont know how to send flowers back!
however, im feeling less positive today after speaking with the lady that did my assessment.
i rang her because she was supposed to come back and share her report with me before we went to court and we are going tomorrow.
she said that there are no doubts at all with my parenting abilities, and aside from my eldest daughter my children are well balanced lovely children ,
but she did say the concern is how i would manage contact given that i love my eldest daughter clearly.
now we had this conversation a couple of times during the assessment and i told her my true feelings...when my daughter first became pregnant i asked myself how could i chose between my daughter and my grand child? and at that time i couldn't, but as time went on and my daughter was going completely against any advice she was given from professionals about her pregnancy and current relationship with baby's father, ignoring statements said to her on numerous occasions (2 of which i was present for) saying that if she stayed with this man she couldn't keep her baby, the decision has become easier.
i have always 'blindly' supported my daughter because shes my daughter, sometimes when i haven't really wanted to but have felt i should which in the long run has affected my relationship with my husband.
so therefore she has made my decision for me. someone has to put that poor baby first, and as neither parent seem capable of doing that then i am.
we spoke about supervised contact, which she said was a good idea and that orders could be written in for this and that the dynamics of my relationship with my daughter would change, well of course they will! as i said before i will be putting my grand daughter first as no one else seems to want to!
the other concern is that myself and my husband are separated and have been since last year, and having spoken to both of us and we have both stated that it is very amicable but we don't yet know if its permanent, then it s a concern?! now this i don't understand at all! my husband visits twice a week to see the children and me, and if my grand daughter was to live here that arrangement wouldn't change so baby would get to know granddad and if he did move back in it wouldn't be done lightly, it would be for the right reasons so no problem?
i think the only thing i really agreed with was that she cant recommend my grand daughter to be placed here as the parents haven't yet been ruled out! oh and she still hasn't come to collect my husbands crb form which she left here with me because she forgot to take it with her when she went to him!

oh another thing, i know the date for the final hearing is in march, but the longer baby spends with the foster care the more of a bond she makes and the more unsettled she will become when removed!

beverley good foster parents will manage a changeover of carers very professionally and in fact attachment to foster carers is a good sign in little ones.
I hope all goes well tomorrow. Let us know.

beverley my sister and husband fostered more than 30 children before they retired this year, some of them from birth till past one year old. All were attached to them, but well prepared for moving on to adoptive parents or back to mums/family. Time is important but lots of things can be done to enable children to settle and become equally attached to their permanent carers. They had a few children stay longer than intended because of court/assessment delays but it worked out fine. Best of luck