Group holidays and money: who really pays?

I suppose it's like everything else , the 'rules' need to be sorted before you go. Then, if someone wants to treat the others they can do. It's all about communication.

This will be Year 5 of our whole family 1 week on Barra holidays. We will spilt the costs as we have always done - hire of cottage split equally 3 ways between DH & Me, DD+2DGC, DD+SIL+1DGC. We pay for our car on the ferry and DDs pay for 1 car + the extra passengers. Kitty covers shopping, swimming pool, petrol and meals out. Folk take their own favourite tipple or 'must have' food with them. Never a cross word between us.

We try to have a short break each year with our two DC and their families . It now totals 10 of us plus an old Labrador who has to be included ,and we are finding it harder to find suitable accomodation at a price we can manage as it now has to be in the dreaded extortionate school holidays .My DH and I now are both retired and cannot afford to pay for all now. Both our DC and families are struggling with living costs and would not be able to afford to pay their way and have their own holidays as well, so I think it will be just "Day's Out " in the future !

Just come back from a week in France with elderly father. We each put 100 euros in a kitty for incidental expenses. I paid for everything on a card, most meals in the evenings, accommodation petrol etc and the ferry. At the end we divided all expenses by three, but dad insisted he would pay over a third of the accommodation bill as hotels charge the same for a double room with one person in it as they do for two people.

Depends so much on the situation. We've organised 50+ group holidays over the years for students, friends, families and a mixture of all- including skiing holidays. With large groups, we've always gone for all inclusive option and everyone pays their own costs, depending on need (for skiing for instance, some make their own way by car, others fly + transfer, some need lessons, some need to hire skis, boards and or boots, etc, and some do not ski but come for the scenery and company). With close family, again, that depends. If someone in the family is going through a bad patch, their cost is taken by others, if we have a windfall or for v special occasions (like OH's 70th next year) - we will pay for all- but others will make sure to chip in with special meals out or in other ways.

When we go with another couple, we take it in turn to pay for meals and petrol, and keep receipts, and make a quick tally at the end to make sure there is no great disparity. Sometimes we have a kitty where we each put £100 and use this for all expenses and put more in when necessary. It all works out in the end.

For guests here at home, as we live abroad- we have a 1 - 2 - 3 rule which everybody likes and adheres to- we cook the first night, we go out and go Dutch the second, they cook the 3rd, and so on, more or less. It's brilliant as we all muck in and there is no resentment or embarrassment re being a slave to guests or a burden.

MaryXYX- we also use our timeshare to exchange, and guests we take always assume we have it for free (eg not aware of yearly maintenance costs and exchange fee...) - but never had the heart to tell them;)

DH and I take our 3 DGC on a caravan holiday at least twice a year plus a few weekend breaks where possible. I have never asked for (or indeed been offered) any kind of contribution from their parents. DH and I pay for everything including food, entertainment and spending money.

Several years ago when my mum was in better health , DH and I used to take her and dad with us on our annual holiday. We split almost everything in half. Food, outings, car hire etc. The only thing that bugged me was that we often wanted to do different things but we were the only drivers and mum being in a wheelchair it wasn't really possible.
I remember once going to the local tavern for lunch and getting plastered a bit tiddly, falling into a deep sleep at about 5pm. My mum and dad had been hammering the apartment door down all night waiting to be "took out" for their evening meal (DH and I were dead to the world) and my parents didn't have the common sense/confidence/call it what you will, to just do something on their own without us. I think that might have been the beginning of the end of our holidays with them.

I also remember a time (I'm on a role now) that DH and my dad went for a walk along the beach. At dinner, DH told mum and I that they had met a Cypriot air hostess on the beach and had chatted to her for almost an hour about Cyprus. My (very jealous) mum went into a mega huff and banned my dad from any more walks with DH !

I am so excited as we are going on our first whole family holiday, since the bairns were wee, in October. We had a home made Christmas last year and the money we saved has paid for an all inclusive week in Malta. As it is all inclusive it will just be extras that have to be paid for, things like scuba diving and whoever does them can pay for that. I fully intend to spend the time by the pool with my book and granddaughter while the rest do the adventuring!

As an aside I once went on holiday with a friend. Both of us had two children each. She was intent on splitting every thing exactly down to the last penny and her constant running total was irritating. The absolute limit came when we packed up to go home. She took the washing up sponge, wiped all round the sink, then the toilet, then cut it in half and offered me my share!