Wills - leaving to children or grandchildren?

When my mother died I was in the process of going through divorce. It was agreed that my inheritance would not be taken into account and in the end we agreed a settlement without going to court. I'm not sure what would have happened if it had gone to court but my mother would have been horrified if my ex had benefitted from her will in any way as we separated long before she died and I was only still married to him as he'd made getting a divorce difficult. I'm currently leaving an equal split between my children but both are still single and I have no grandchildren. I may have to review things if that changes.

When my mother died I was in the process of going through divorce. It was agreed that my inheritance would not be taken into account and in the end we agreed a settlement without going to court. I'm not sure what would have happened if it had gone to court but my mother would have been horrified if my ex had benefitted from her will in any way as we separated long before she died and I was only still married to him as he'd made getting a divorce difficult. I'm currently leaving an equal split between my children but both are still single and I have no grandchildren. I may have to review things if that changes.

When my mother died I was in the process of going through divorce. It was agreed that my inheritance would not be taken into account and in the end we agreed a settlement without going to court. I'm not sure what would have happened if it had gone to court but my mother would have been horrified if my ex had benefitted from her will in any way as we separated long before she died and I was only still married to him as he'd made getting a divorce difficult. I'm currently leaving an equal split between my children but both are still single and I have no grandchildren. I may have to review things if that changes.

When my mother died I was in the process of going through divorce. It was agreed that my inheritance would not be taken into account and in the end we agreed a settlement without going to court. I'm not sure what would have happened if it had gone to court but my mother would have been horrified if my ex had benefitted from her will in any way as we separated long before she died and I was only still married to him as he'd made getting a divorce difficult. I'm currently leaving an equal split between my children but both are still single and I have no grandchildren. I may have to review things if that changes.

I have left 80% to be divided equally between my 3 children and the rest to 8 grandchildren. As my son did my will and my two daughters were consulted , I presume everyone is happy (that's if we haven't spent it all !!!)

Anything left after we've finished spending it will be split 50/50. One split will then be split between the kids, the other between the GC's.

Well, unless we win the lottery the Government won't be taking any of ours.
We are well under the limit!

Wow LynC that sounds very complicated and not one easily remedied I guess. We have 4 children 3 of them having 2 children each and one unmarried with none. We have left everything equally between the 4 DC and for them to give what they see fit to our DGC. We thought this the fairest way. My jewellery is stated in the will that it is to be left to our only DD who will divide it out between the herself and the DGC equally. Our DS's are aware and happy with the decision. DH and I don't plan to leave much in the bank as we plan to keep travelling for as long as we can, but hopefully, God willing, they will each have a share in the house unless the government step in and take the lot

We have both been married before, and have children from those marriages!

We are in a real quandary. We had very little when we met no previous houses etc so all we have now is from our life n marriage together. (I did have savings for our house deposit). We both had professional jobs so all our assets are jointly and equally earned.

Previous children:-
My husbands two children from his first marriage have no (nor will they have) children, my son (brought up by us) has two GC and is the most wealthy of all of the children.
Our two children have two GC each (nearly!).

Currently the will is left in shares, so DH half shared between his 4 and my half shared between my 3, so 'our' two children get a larger share as they inherit from both!

They all get on well.

BUT this will was before the six grandchildren, I feel that I want the lions part of our assets to go to the children who have our grandchildren, with the ones with no children having a much smaller share. My DH agrees. But we do not know what is an appropriate 'smaller share'. We have yet to change our wills but know we need too, and need to explain it to them all.

They know my jewellery will be our girls, with identified pieces left to my sons girls. All my previous jewellery from my first marriage was stolen in two burglaries!

I must add when my first husband died (far too young) fairly recently, my son -his only child was left a token amount and some personal effects, on the basis that his paternal GFather, was still alive so he will inherit from him! He was devastated, his fathers new wife, (only 4 months before his death) was left the estate, they had never lived together, and only knew one another for 4 years, the last in a long succession of marriages and relationships! My son had just his first baby (5 months old) who was left nothing. He didn't want a lot for her just something to acknowledge her. He said he didn't need the money it was the lack of acknowledgement that hurt, not only of him but of his fathers (at that time) only grandaughter. So if my son or his daughter were left something reasonable, 10-25%, rather than the approximate 1%, he would have been fine.

There was no fall out or argument, they were not close but not estranged, he was his fathers executor, and the best man at his fathers wedding. So this shows there must be no shocks in a will.

Any thoughts would be welcome!

Our only child will get the lot and we trust her to use it in the way she needs to at the time, being divorced and having two young children. A solicitor once told us you can't control everyone from the grave so don't try to make it too complex with too many conditions. Unless you are a multimillionaire I guess.

I'm trying to spend as much as possible, then what's left will be divided among the three sons. They can do what they like!

BTW you can make provision in your Will for any future grandchildren, to save you having to re-do Wills every time one is born!

I'm not sure there can be hard and fast rules for this sort of thing - it very much depends on individual circumstances.

If a person was concerned that their sons/daughters would blow all the inheritance without putting anything aside for their own children's future needs (and I know that that does happen), then it would seem to me to be sensible to maybe even equal provision for grandchildren.

If adult children are basically sensible but are going through a particularly hard time financially or perhaps have never been able to afford their own home, I would either leave the money to the children or only make relatively small bequests to grandchildren.

I think the main thing is that people spend some time thinking carefully about these various issues rather than automatically doing an equal split between children. I also think it is extremely important that if unequal or unusual provisions are made in a Will, the reasons for doing that should be discussed beforehand so that there is less chance of hurt feelings and animosities arising between the various parties.

Oh that's a point rosequarz. What if any grandchildren arrive in the future? Perfectly possible with son, at least.

#minefield

That's right, jbf.

One DC has two children, one has one child and the other none (as yet).
Should we die then she has children it wouldn't seem fair that some DGC inherited but those who may arrive afterwards would get nothing.

Let the DC sort out how they spend it - I am sure their children will benefit (if there is anything left to inherit!)

I won't know so I can't worry about it.

I think my children having a happy family relationship is the most important thing though. I would hate my family to be at odds with each other.

It's a really difficult one this. At the moment it is split equally between our three children, but if I turn out to be the remaining one, I think I will have it divided equally between our children and the grandchildren. I would hate to cause any bad feeling though.

Perhaps Whitewave's idea is the best way to do it.

My younger DD works hard for her living. Elder DD (the married one) does seem to have things comparatively easy. Like I say, really difficult.

I have recently changed my will. I have 2 sons. I son with a difficult wife and 2 kids. So 1 son get half of the inheritance and the one with kids has his half split. 50% of whats left to him and 25% each to the grand kids. this is I am sorry to say in some way to protect some of the monies from the DIL!. Should their circumstances change i would consider changing the will back to a 50/50 spilt between my sons!

I also have 3 nice rings and three daughters - so why do they all want the same one?
That's daughters for you

We have a dilemma as we have 5 children but our eldest son is disabled and has no spouse (now!!!) He is in much greater need than the others and we thought about giving him one third (ie two sixths) and the others one sixth. He, however, has a habit of 'treating' himself. We also have 6 DGC and 2 step grandchildren.

I also have 3 nice rings and three daughters - so why do they all want the same one?

bikergran the money would go to the DDs and then it would be up to them to decide what to do with it and to make a will (unless they got divorced, in which case as Coolgran said).

If there is anything left it will go to our DC.
I would like to leave some to the DGC but DH is adamant that it should go to the DC and for them to give to their own children if they wish.
As one DC has no children I suppose it is the fairest way to do it.

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We have left all our estate to be divided between our 3 children, with a proviso that they should share some of it with their own children if they are able to. We wanted to leave it up to them - they know we would like the GC to have something, but each can afford different amounts. If we had left a set sum (or percentage) to the GC, it might have left only a small amount for the children. There is a a huge discrepancy between them all in terms of standard of living and wealth, and we did not want the "poorer" of the children to miss out because it had all skipped a generation.

I trust the children to respect our wishes.

hmmmm! thanks for that info Coolgran