Will ( husband is step parent, what happens if he remarries or cohabits)

I assume you have your own will? Why does your husband need to agree to you changing it? I would tell him that you are not happy with the way it is worded and are concerned that your children may not benefit as you wish, then go ahead and get it updated to reflect exactly what you want. I am sure the cost will not be prohibitive and will put your mind at rest, which in my humble opinion is worth the money.

I think you have good reason to be concerned. If you die first and your husband remarries, then dies before his new wife, I'm not sure your wishes will be upheld. It will depend on the wording of your wills. Someone will be around on here who will have a better idea.

It is actually usually cheaper to write a new will than update an existing one. I would certainly make a new one if I were you that will negate the old one anyway.

Absolutely agree with Pippa000

You say "We made a will . . . ." but you don't really mean that, do you? Surely you mean that you each made a will leaving everything to the other, and so on?

If you have a joint account, then half of what is in it is yours to leave as you wish, and half is your husband's to leave how he wishes.

Many thanks to everyone who has commented, it's the first time I've used the forum.
Your overall response has put things into perspective, don't think I was seeing the wood for the trees!
Pippa000, you are correct as is Ellegran we both have our own wills and it would only be mine that would need to change, I was thinking we both would have to make changes. The cost wouldn't be a problem and I would be much happier knowing everything is clearly written in black and white.
Tanith, that's interesting, I will enquire about a new will and see which option is the cheapest.
Elegran, the joint account is only for bills etc, we both have separate accounts of our own and the investments are in my name. They will become my husband's if I die first. The house is our own, I bought our first home outright, our present house was bought with money from the first house being sold before we moved. Again a fair amount of money involved.
Next step is to contact my solicitor and arrange a meeting to discuss the next step.
Thank you all again, I'm thinking much more clearly now.

A will becomes invalid upon marriage, doesn't it? So, if anything happened to you and your husband inherited, then he re-married his old will becomes invalid.
www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/experts/article-2409754/Is-true-getting-remarried-invalidates-will.html

It would also make a difference if you own your home as joint tenants or tenants in common.

You need careful legal advice if you do not wish your children to be disinherited.
Of course, it may never happen - you may outlive your husband . But you can't be sure of that.

Jalima, thank you for the link, it helped to read the consequences for remarriage etc.
I will be getting in touch with my solicitor as in addition to the investments belonging to me our house is jointly owned although bought with my money. As you say, I need good legal advice.

Yes, it would need to be carefully set up, especially regarding the house.

All it is, is about you have a say and make sure that your children - biological or step - get your share of the accumulated assets when you are no longer around. So it's about peace of mind for you, and sending a message to your children that you care about their welfare.

We just did all of this the joint tenancy and all that - so now I will rest assured that should I pop my clogs the inheritance for the offspring is "ring-fenced" .

I got the "Don't you trust me?" question from my husband too, and replied "I trust you, but I don't trust .... and named at least three friends and acquaintances... that I know would be lined up should you become a widower!" And I'm not joking. He just rolled his eyes and signed. It cost us about £1000 I think but it was worth it.

£1000 to write a will!!!

£1000? That's extortionate.

We both had separate Will's made. Plus LPAs for Health & Welfare, and Finance (4 in all) plus had the LPAs registered (all four) and it didn't cost us anywhere close to that.

You could word the will so your share of the house and the money is left in trust for your husband so he could live in the house for his lifetime and, if necessary, he could receive the income from the investments but not the capital. On his death your share of everything goes to your children. As others have said, see a solicitor, protecting your assets for your children isn't showing distrust for your husband.

Well, maybe I'm wrong re the cost. My memory isn't what it used to be.

Our wills cost us nothing because, if we left a certain sum to a cancer charity, we could have them done free by a local reputable solicitor. You could choose how much to leave as long as it was £100 or over. I'm not sure if that is still an ongoing offer.

Just checked (it was ages since we did them) and it was to Cancer Research and it was for mirror wills, so if your will is more complicated I'm not sure if you can use the service.

freewillsmonth.org.uk/

I would never trust free will-making, even if done through a charity, they would want to do it at minimum cost to themselves.

The only way to be sure you have a will that respects all your wishes and achieves the desired outcome, particularly in these days of complicated families, is to get it drawn up by a solicitor who specialises in wills and probate. This will cost money, although £1,000 sounds a lot. There is no alternative.

Just one thing to add, you cannot insist that someone does something after your death e.g. has you cremated, so it is important you give your children what you want them to have when you die as your cannot insist your husband does it later.

We paid £300 to have both wills written then £100 a few years later to amend both.

We (second marriage) bought our house as 'tenants in common'. We have a joint bank account for bills but other than that, we have our own accounts. My savings go immediately to my children and my husband's go to his. My proportion of the house goes to my children and his to his children. The surviving person has the right to remain in the house.

The dad of a friend of ours died first and all his estate went to his wife. Their only child (our friend) grew up and his mum remarried. She died soon after her second marriage and all her estate went to her second husband then to his family from a previous marriage. The only child (our friend) did not inherite a bean from either his mum nor his dad. What's to say about that

Both he and his wife should have made Wills before they died.

But sad to say they didn't

Just goes to show what can happen when you don't, unfortunately.

Just been on the phone to my solicitor to remake my will. They're going to charge £325! I think that's terrible.