Scared to spend on myself

NannaM: I have had the same problem since I retired 8 years ago. May I suggest that you deep a note of all daily expenditure including small cash items like newspapers. A diary is useful for this. Then once a month type all the info into a spreadsheet, keeping a total for the month. There will be some months when you spend more than you have coming in, but there will also be months when you have a bit over. When you look at all your totals, you'll soon notice that you are managing your money far better than you think and that will allow you to relax the frugality now and again. I have to live like this as I have a house that has required and still does require
ongoing expenditure in order to keep the weather out. Hopefully you may not have this problem. Please feel free to message me privately if you want some more help with setting up your spreadsheets etc. Meantime very good wishes.

Hi Petra, it's the holidays and the little luxuries. So not the basic essentials like heat.

Over the last ten years I've gradually cut down on expenses. Frugal about heat and water, but food from cheaper shops and look for reductions in more expensive ones. Clothes from charity shops and eBay, books too. Amazing bargains in charity shops for toys for DGC too. I have more time to look after retirement and find it all fun. If I really need to spend more I do.
DM would approve, her saying before buying was:
Do I want it?
Do I need it?
Can I do without it?.

And sometimes, of course, she relaxed the rules!

It all depends on what you mean by living frugal. Does it mean not having the heating on in winter, not eating properly. Or does it mean not having a good holiday every year,