Scared to spend on myself

It all depends on what you mean by living frugal. Does it mean not having the heating on in winter, not eating properly. Or does it mean not having a good holiday every year,

Over the last ten years I've gradually cut down on expenses. Frugal about heat and water, but food from cheaper shops and look for reductions in more expensive ones. Clothes from charity shops and eBay, books too. Amazing bargains in charity shops for toys for DGC too. I have more time to look after retirement and find it all fun. If I really need to spend more I do.
DM would approve, her saying before buying was:
Do I want it?
Do I need it?
Can I do without it?.

And sometimes, of course, she relaxed the rules!

Hi Petra, it's the holidays and the little luxuries. So not the basic essentials like heat.

NannaM: I have had the same problem since I retired 8 years ago. May I suggest that you deep a note of all daily expenditure including small cash items like newspapers. A diary is useful for this. Then once a month type all the info into a spreadsheet, keeping a total for the month. There will be some months when you spend more than you have coming in, but there will also be months when you have a bit over. When you look at all your totals, you'll soon notice that you are managing your money far better than you think and that will allow you to relax the frugality now and again. I have to live like this as I have a house that has required and still does require
ongoing expenditure in order to keep the weather out. Hopefully you may not have this problem. Please feel free to message me privately if you want some more help with setting up your spreadsheets etc. Meantime very good wishes.

You mentioned you've had ill health. Which is why I'm thinking you're thinking. I am guessing you are torn. Shall I enjoy myself now, while I'm well, because I don't know what's around the corner. Or should I be more careful, as I could live to 100, so it's got to last. It's always a dilemma when you reach a certain age (with no way of topping up the pot) to know quite what to do. It may sound dead boring, but I would take a middle road. Don't live frugally, but don't squander it.

Sorry NannaM, typo error I meant you to 'keep' a note of expenditure (not deep).

Hi Eirel, I too do all the things you suggest plus I'm vegetarian, so don't have to spend on expensive meat. It's just sometimes I wonder, how do I know if it's ok to dip into savings for a holiday, for instance.......
And yes, I know the old saying "I'm spending my children's inheritance".
I wish I had the courage to just spread my wings and jump off the cliff (metaphorically speaking).

Elrel, good post; makes a lot of sense. I believe that if you've ever been really hard up, the fear of it stays with you.

Right on the nail breeze!

Is it easy to make a spreadsheet? It would have to be easy for me because I'm not technically minded or very bright.

NannaM Have you had a benefits check? There is a lot of help for older people on limited incomes. Help with Council tax, rent and income supplements through Pension Credit. If you become disabled you will qualify for an allowance called Attendance Allowance and this entitles you to a rise in Pension Credit.

Even if you do not qualify for any of these at the moment, if you were to find out about them, it may well give you the peace of mind you need to make decisions about spending your savings on holidays and other small pleasures.

Your local branch of Age UK( previously Age Concern) will be happy to do a benefits check for you and, if you qualify already, help you claim the extra help you are entitled to.

Good to know Monica! Thankyou!

NannaM look to see if you could save money by switching your energy provider. I did it today and will save £200 next year. Not a lot, but better in my a/c than British Gas.
Have you got the best bank a/c. Have you got an a/c. where you get cash back on your expenditure.

Actually I also did this today. I am with British Gas and was encouraged to ring Sainsbury's Energy who are partners of BG. My payments have gone from £165 a month to £92 a month. This may not entirely cover use of course but it is reviewed in 6 months and adjusted. On cost per unit quoted it will have to be cheaper.

Nanna M - I think you should go for the little luxuries and for a holiday. Even a good day out can left your spirits and give you good memories.

annsixty I live in a 3 bedroom house and I pay £34 a month to EDF covering gas and electricity. Admittedly I have solar panels so I get free hot water but as you are well aware we also have many dull, cloudy days and they do not work in winter. That is a huge amount for you to be paying.

annsixty You obviously have a big house. I had one once, too much like hard work as you get older. We now have a 2 bed semi detached bungalow. When the winter starts, ( September?) the heating is on from about 7am to 11pm. I have switched to OVO and going on the figures that British gave me the monthly charge is £60 a month.

Don't live so frugally that you become depressed.......

Life is for living.

Hi all
Good advice as usual from all.
Think we're all in a 'penny watching' existence now and there are many bargains out there to be had. Including days out and holiday breaks bargains !
It's nice to have fun and a break from the routine.
I also changed to Sainsburys energy and have benefitted from the savings.
Martin Lewis money saving expert - a good site and there is an energy supplier checker on there that guides your best deals and helps you change.

Yes, do have the little luxuries if you possibly can.
My parents would have been concerned about the future as well as 'squandering inheritance', but personally, I wish they had 'squandered' all of it and had more fun. They did do things that they really, really wanted but had a very short retirement, both dying relatively young. No one knows what is round the corner do they...

So long as we are able to meet bills etc, we all need to give ourselves little boosts now and again to mix-it-up a bit and feel alive. Maybe it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip - but sometimes buying the expensive but delicious yogurt instead of the 'basic' one is all we need!

Go for it NannaM. YOU will enjoy treating yourself, and your family will enjoy that you're doing it!

Since DH retired last year, he has been on a mission to see how much can be saved without detriment to lifestyle. Every quote for electricity, gas, broadband, phones , insurance (especially insurance) have been ruthlessly bargained over, result? Lots of savings. He discovered that it was better for us to have separate current accounts at Santander rather than keeping savings in a building society, Santander pay 3% on current account balances, building societies were paying 0.5%! I could go on. He has saved hundreds of pounds.
Also occupies him for a couple of hours a week and keeps him off the streets. ?

the analysis doesn't have to be a spreadsheet, if that sounds too complicated just jot your expenditure down in separate columns on paper and add them up regularly and compare with income. Personally, I left home as a teenager and couldn't afford much heating or sometimes even enough food, after that having enough can feel like luxury, make the most of it and treat yourself occasionally.

Well... I had to give up work at 55 with bad M.E. and I scraped along for ages being careful and spending money on my kids instead, "lending" it but never getting it back. Now I enjoy myself. A few times a year I go up to Edinburgh and round the good shops, into Lakeland, and Moulton Brown. In between I buy any book I like ( and I like a LOT lol) on amazon for pennies. I'm not wasteful, I could never be that after the hard years we went through in the 70s and 80s - but I treat myself to nice things. Also my kids manage just fine without my help - plus it's making them learn about hard times/wastefulness as well.

Nanna M when I retired I, like you, was apprehensive about how I'd manage on a much-reduced income. I found that, as a pp suggested, writing down everything that I spent (I used a spreadsheet, but you could jot it down in a notebook) for a few months was really helpful, as I could see that I did have enough to manage on
I still do this, and it's interesting (and helpful) so have a go...!