Scared to spend on myself

Lots of ways to have the good life on the cheap. I saw an advertizment in the John Lewis xmas mag with a drinks trolley preped for cocktails. So far got the trolley for £30 off e bay posh glasses from a charity shop just looking for a cocktail shaker shaped like a pineapple. Love to eat venison so treat ourselves to enormous venison burghers from our fav roadside cafe and park somewhere with a nice borrowed view plus coffee from flask and chocs. All done for a £5 each. Good company no need to book deal with 1 upmanship table next to strangers etc. Like a nice garden so do we - someone elses via NGS. Support a charity lovely homemade cakes and no weeding. Posh wedding day out without needing to be asked or buy pressie or new outfits go to a wedding fair lots of freebies flower arranging ideas people watching posh hotel locations. I deposit hubby in bar plus paper he is happy as going to an Irish wedding would cost cost him over a thousand. You try going to 1 without a new outfit buying towels for a pressie etc. Sometimes the good life just needs some imagination.

We seldom pay full price for a meal out we use Groupon and other voucher ,use Tesco vouchers to buy Cafe Rouge and Bella Italia meals and treated the DGC to the zoo for £20 of Tesco vouchers. That would cost us almost £80 otherwise. We seldom pay full price for the cinema on Tuesday and Wednesday we use Meerkat movies to get two for the price of one. I bought one day's holiday insurance for £5 and got a year of half price cinema . If you want to try this go to the money saving website and Martin Lewis will guide you on this. At the weekend we also get half price cinema tickets at the Odeon through having a subscription to the Times . This also gives you a free Tastecard for discounted meals . We also start our weekly shopping at either Lidl or Aldi and top up in Tesco for the rest.

I second the Santander 123 accounts if you have enough direct debits to go from them and can put £500 each month into them. I think if you play the system your £500 can go in and out of three accounts like a yo yo but I would check up on that. I have a JL card and a M&S card and get money back in worthwhile sums. Paying for a holiday on a credit card costs but still worthwhile on the JL one. House insurance and household insurance are well worth changing. Frequently.

Fear of not having enough is something I've had since childhood. Whatever my income it's always there. Having learned to live with it and well within my budget, I would say spend on the experiences that make you happy and will lay down good memories for the future. Things break, get lost, wear out, or lose their glass a happy memory is with you for ever.

Thankyou all! What I am taking away from this posting is that if I want less anxiety, I need a picture of what is coming in, and what is going out. I'm also thinking that I need a separate account for any surplus at the end of the month, even if it's a small amount. I also need to shop around for better deals, which I haven't really done up to now. When I was working I didn't think twice about going away for a sunny break in the winter, but I haven't done this for over three years. I think I'm missing that spontaneity and freedom. Maybe the anxiety goes with the territory of being single, previously self supporting, and reticent about talking about money.

I think we all worry about the future no matter what our circumstances are, it is only natural. I worry about how I can afford it if I need care later on. I think you have to try to balance things out if I have to spend more than usual I try to economise after and I think at least I can still look after myself at the moment.

Since I retired, I keep one small notebook, in it I allow £100.00 two weeks food and small daily expenses. I keep another one, in which I put £160.00 per month for larger expenses. Gas, electricity, tv and any larger outlays. After a few months, I usually find I have a surplus. Which goes back into my bank account. If there's a surplus in the smaller book, I just carry it forward. This way, I know where my money is going, and it works for me.

How much to keep in an emergency fund though????

Lilyflower,
I found your post really helpful! I've always tried to track my (limited) finances, but never really got them organised properly so will try this spreadsheet thingy! Thanks!?

What you really know need to know to decide whether you can afford to indulge yourself now and again is not what your income is but what your disposable income consists of. In order to be on top of this keep accounts (W.H. Smith sell an accounts' book or you could run a laptop spreadsheet). Write in all of your income and all of your outgoings. If you add all the up and coming weekly, monthly and annual debits ahead of time - divide the annual sums by weeks and months if need be - what you have left is your residue and you can spend it.

You will need an emergency fund to fall back on so don't spend all your savings.

I would also ensure you are on the best utilities and phone tariffs by shopping around and shifting your provider if need be. This has now been made very easy to do and the new provider will do all of the work for you. This might free up some cash to splurge! Sign up to some supermarket comparison sites and shop around for bargains. You could bulk buy your preferred non perishable brands when they are on offer which will save a lot over time.

If you have savings of up to £20,000 the Santander 123 current account pays a market beating 3per cent on them and you get cash back for running your direct debits though it too.

Charity shops sell books, CDs and DVDs very cheaply and you can use your local library for free.

Also, if you are running an account book, open a page in the back for treats and holidays and save up for them. For example, put an amount a month away for a trip away and then take it guilt free.

You can live frugally but have fun too.

Our dual fuel bill is £85 a month. 3 bedrooms and a converted basement to heat, so I didn't think that was bad. It's a lot lower since we moved from BG. £34 a month is extremely low, surely? Perhaps I need some energy saving advice!

where are we going wrong with our fuel bills?
Time to change

Sararose
we have Waitrose cards and find if we shop very carefully it is fairly reasonable; I always end up buying more in Tesco or Sainsburys because of all their offers which we don't really need.
JL is good for electrical goods and there is usually an extended warranty. However, I rarely buy clothes there.

A 3 bedroom house gas and elecricity £34 a month? Surely not! (*Charleygirl*)

4 bed here. £83 a month. And we don't go mad with the heating.

For those of you that have separate Santander 123 a/c, don't forget you can have a joint a/c as well. So you have 3 a/c going.

Until now, I hadn't realised how lucky I am to be living. near so many supermarkets and discount stores. It does make economising so much easier than for some fellow gransnets.
I am new to this forum, as just after I retired, my darling granddaughter was born after eleven and a half years of trying and I discovered the site. I don't post much, but thoroughly enjoy reading all the posts.

Oops mean fells not cells !

Yes Cornergran we have the same problem as we live in Cumbria and only about a 20 drive from Buttermere and the cells so always have people (willing ? ! ) to visit so that adds up the monthly budget. Also living fairly remote it's a fair old heave- ho if we need/go places. I've been on a 10 week / 2 hour a session crochet course which is over a 60 mile round trip. Also if we want a decent sized supermarket that is the same.

I too had to retire early on health grounds and now only have a third of my previous salary to live on. I will not get my state pension for another 6 yrs, so it has been a culture shock, as I had a good salary and quite a comfortable life.
However, I am actually enjoying finding ways to economise. Now that I am retired, I need little petrol, I don't have to go to expensive work functions and I don't have to buy work clothes, so saving money already. I enjoy looking for bargains in supermarket and pound shops and tailor meals to use what is on offer. We still eat very well. My husband used to do the shopping when I was working, as he was retired. I am ashamed that we used to waste so much food, as I didn't keep an eye on dates in fridge. Also I save points with reward cards, shop on ebay, and do online surveys which earn me points for well known high street stores. I recently won an £80 blouse on ebay and it cost me nothing with reward points converted to ebay vouchers. I have grown lots of salad and veggies from 29p packets of seeds. It also keeps me busy, as I was very low at being forced into retirement at 60, due to my health issues. My husband and I still treat ourselves, but are not wasteful. We have worked hard all our lives, after years of having very little money to bring up our children, we want some fun before my health deteriorates further. I love the challenge and buzz when I get a bargain. Retirement and reduced income have not been as bad as I anticipated.

I am naturally frugal having been born towards the end of the war. I cannot bring myself to shop in expensive supermarkets like Waitrose or stores like John Lewis but enjoy getting bargains in the sales!
My husband and I did enjoy good holidays however and would not penny pinch om meals out etc. Unfortunately he is now in a Nursing Home and I am having to pay for his care out of his savings. (he does get Attendance Allowance and Nursing Care contribution).This makes me even more careful with my money so i totally understand Nanna M.

sorry if I sounded a bit smug in previous post - I guess financial control = peace of mind , for me. should confess that 'optional' column is AKA 'fun', and usually has the highest monthly total spend !

I enjoyed holidays,etc whilst I could. When my savings got below £10000 I found I could get Pension credit which has other benefits such as no Council tax, dental fees, etc. Since I am disabled with os teoarthritis I get lower Attendance allowance which also led to an increase in Pension Credit. I live quite comfortably and am able to pay for help with housework and gardening. I am not ashamed to get these benefits considering I gave five years during the war to the WAAF, have always paid my taxes and never been in debt all my life. My late husband did say I was economical to the point of meanness.

That's assuming they don't just keep Osborne.

By George there are some good money managers among us GNers! We could all learn a thing or two from some of these posts I reckon. One of us surely ought to be in line for the next Chancellor.

like others, I find a daily record of spending very reassuring, and santander bank reviewer's jaw hit the floor when I produced it recently. simply, I have 4 columns - essential (eg. house repairs, dentist, car ) ; monthly direct debits to cover everything I can think of ; daily food +petrol + household stuff ; and optional i.e anything I could cut back in emergency. tot up money in /money out each month, so am always aware of general situation - I find this is very comforting.

CORNERGRAN....Check around for the average b&b charge in your area and tell them what it is. Then tell them they can have a family discount but from now on you just cant afford for them to stay without some contribution. I suggest you send them a friendly letter. Good Luck !