Thoughts and advice pls on trusted cleaner stealing money

But why? It's unlike.y the money will be returned

But putting it in the hands of the police might stop her stealing money from anyone else. Telling her you don't need her any more without taking action to call a halt just sends her on to the next victim.

It's hard to know what the police would actually do isn't it? A caution? Would the web cam evidence be acceptable? I'd tell her that she was lucky I wasn't going to the police - that might change her behaviour. I think I'd like to know if there was any reason she'd needed the money. Give her a chance

Once someone has lost your trust its almost impossible to keep going with that person. Elegran is right. You could sack this woman who could then go on and steal from others -potentially vulnerable older people. If the family have proof then they should report it to the police. Who knows? She may already have a police record and, if she doesn't, its time she did. Its not OK to steal money.

A few years ago, our neighbour employed a cleaner through an agency. Neighbour was very impressed with the cleaner's thoroughness - she even tidied inside cupboards! We needed a cleaner too so we asked her cleaner to do for us. Shortly after she started, small sums of money started to go missing - a fiver from a child's birthday card, some coins from my husbands cache of pre-decimal shillings. At first we put it down to our own carelessness. One day I had to pop home to get some cash from a small stash that I kept in a drawer in my bedroom. The cleaner was in that day but didn't see me get the money. That evening, I went back to the drawer to return some change and realised that some of my money had disappeared during the day
I went round to speak to the neighbour who said that they had also lost small sums - cash from her children's wage packets and little piles of change left around the house. Again, they couldn't be sure that it was the cleaner. Then, a few days earlier they had returned from their holiday with some spare cash which they were going to use for a meal out that evening, which they left on the sideboard. They went out into the garden to drink some holiday wine and even invited the cleaner to join them. When they went to pick up the cash to go out for their meal, they realised that some of it was missing. Together, we were sure that the cleaner was responsible but rather than setting up a trap, and neither of us wanting her in the house again, the neighbour reported her to the agency and got both our house keys back.
Some time later, we saw that the cleaner had been in court for pinching people's pools money which she had been collecting.

It is a worry isn't it when trusting someone in your home. DD recently discovered that her cleaning lady had lied to her about something really quite trivial but it turned out that she'd told all sorts of porky pies. She had to go as DD just couldn't trust her. She'd also tried to get DD and SiL to guarantee her a loan to buy a car. Not a chance. I think she just had pretty poor judgment if she thought she could get away with the sorts of thing she was doing.
It made me very glad of my hard working and entirely trustworthy Romanian lady who was with my mother and then me for 10 years+.

What happens if she gets a job with a not so aware pensioner? How long before she's draining bank accounts? She won't stop. You have to go to the police if you have evidence.

Yes, sadly this could become her reason for working with old or vulnerable people...if it isn't already.

Even if the police don't follow up it might mean if she tries this again it will be taken more seriously next time..

I was nursing for 37 years, one morning an elderly patient was being discharged from our ward as he was walking out with his wife he gave me an envelope and thanked me for the care he had received. When I opened the envelope it was not a thank you card as I thought but a cheque made out to me in my name for a £1000. I told the ward manager she told me I was to take the cheque to the General office so they could send the cheque to the patient thank him in writing and ask him could he rewrite the cheque out to "Ward funds" about a week later the patient telephoned the ward and asked for me to visit him at his home. [not normally the done thing]
I poped in see him on my way home. He told me he was surprised I had told anyone about him giving me the cheque. I explained I was part of a team and it would not be fair for me to have kept the cheque to myself [in any event it was against the rules].
He replied "well none of the other staff said anything" he had given 19 other members of staff £1000 each including the ward manager. I never discussed it with anyone again.

Hmm...that's a rather tall story, Gardenman99 but if it's true, of course you did the right thing.

She is a horrible person to be doing that to people who trust her. Get rid of her and don't be shy about telling other people who use her services, imagine how upset you would be, if you found out that other people had the same experience and hadn't told you.

What difference does it make where her daughter is? What makes any of this acceptable?

Get a camera and get rid of her. She could be stealing your identity next and you could lose far more than a few quid from the back of a drawer.

This can happen with carers who come into the home every day as well. My Aunt had money disappearing - small amounts though as she never kept lot in her flat. But the biggest thing happened when she was away for some respite care, and all her jewellery was stolen from her flat, and it wasn't a forced entry. The police got involved but nothing could be proved, but there was a strong suspicion that the Janitor was involved as well.

I hate to say this gardenman, but the story does not ring true. If it were, when you presented your cheque to the wardmanager, she would not have pursued it in this manner, given the likelihood of it being discovered that she had acted against the rules. More than likely, she would have said that she would manage the situation herself.

Don't wait to prove anything, just get rid of her. The cleaner can't be trusted anymore. Cut your losses, tell your friends and it's up to them whether they want to sack her, or not. I've been in that situation and I know it's not pleasant, especially if you've been kind to them.

I'm staggered that they're wondering what to do. Their "trusted cleaner" is a repeat offence thief. Get proof and call the Police in...

You could put a small mark on the money with a coloured felt tip pen then take photos of it and the date will be in the picture taken. Then next time she comes leave the house for a while but come back before she's due to finish, then go in drawer count money where she can't see you doing it,if some is missing confront her then you have proof it's yours.As the picture will match money that she has taken. Cheaper than web cam etc.Think your daughter has got to toughen up, this thief has no loyalty to her she sees her as a bank. I've had times in my life where I've struggled financially I would never dream of taking money from someone more fortunate than me. And so what if she has a daughter in Romania, thats no excuse, go back home and take care of her then.

We had a very similar situation with my Dad, after my Mum died, and he was vulnerable and lonely.

When we were sure something untoward was happening... and he wouldn't have a word said against the "lady" who was doing it... I called the local police.

I explained the situation and they were great. The "lady" and indeed her entire family were well known to the police.

And yet... and this is what baffles me... she came to my Dad having been recommended by the local authorities !

that kind of person sees kindness as a weakness,to be exploited. you need to inform the police ASAP. otherwise itll continue and escalate . once proven itd be very nice to spread the word this womans a common thief

You contact the crime prevention officer at your local police station and they will arrange for a camera to be installed. You can not speak to the cleaner she will deny it or give some sob story. If you sack her before you have the evidence she will just go on to steal from other vulnerable people.
I give this advice as a retired police officer.

Webcam and police to me is the answer , it will hopefully make her think twice about doing it again, also my disabled daughter has to keep some money in the house and has bought a small safe that she locks the money in as she has carers and people coming and going.

Set up a video camera and record her (maybe not leave £100 but £10 in a top drawer). If she takes it, ask her for a meeting. Ask if everything is ok? She happy working for them? Any problems etc? (giving her the opportunity to confess).

If nothing then show her the evidence. Tell her you know she has taken more than just the £10 and WILL go to the police UNLESS she pays the money back. ALL OF IT.

She'll likely cry, say she's never done anything like that before etc or she'll get angry (so have a few people there).

If she agrees to pay it back then dismiss her and warn your friends. If she storms out or doesn't agree to pay back then go straight to the police with the evidence. Explain that you suspected her of taking the money and have proof that it is indeed her. That the money wasn't just lying there but in a drawer so she didn't just happen to think it had been left for her or found it on the floor etc and "forgot" to tell you about it.

Good luck

If they let her go then she'll do it to some other family. Gather evidence and go to the police.

I think you have to somehow catch her, and report her. If not she will just go on doing it elsewhere.
Older people with any degree of dementia are particularly vulnerable, since they often have a habit of hiding cash away anyway - often quite large amounts in the most weird places - and it's all too easy to blame any money going missing on that kind of behaviour.
A colleague found over £2000 hidden away in very odd places while clearing an old uncle's flat after he died (he'd had mild dementia).

What a sad story - I think a trap needs to be set and the police advised, but they need to point out that they know about her theft and give her a chance to pay it back. Above all, they must tell her other employers.

Report her to the police and sack her. Also tell everyone else she works for