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Thoughts and advice pls on trusted cleaner stealing money

(136 Posts)
NickyD47 Fri 18-Nov-16 10:29:12

My DS & DIL have discovered their cleaner has been stealing money from them. About £600. They checked before and after she came yesterday and another £100 had gone. They are so sad, as she has a daughter at home in Rumania and they have recommended her to several friends who she now works for too. I think they must go to the police but my DIL feels they should tell her they know, warn their friends and ask if she can pay it back. But I, my DH & son say what about those she might work for in the future? And what if she just Denies it. Tricky moral situation. Welcome some advice.

ExaltedWombat Sun 20-Nov-16 12:58:44

Set up the camera, not as police evidence but so that YOU can be really sure. You are going full steam ahead with the assumption that the cleaner is guilty. Find out.

Hattiehelga Sun 20-Nov-16 13:06:16

Could they mark all the notes unobtrusively, pop out to give her time to do it again, check notes then if any missing, demand to see what is on her bag. If evidence is there, call Police.

Stella14 Sun 20-Nov-16 13:08:19

I would ask the Police for advice on collecting evidence. They don't want to find that they spend all that money on recording equipment, time on it etc, to find that they still don't have enough. She really should be caught and charged to curtail her activities. The next soul might be a vulnerable person.

Anya Sun 20-Nov-16 13:43:14

If the police will really set up the camera for you, and lionpop's post seem to suggest they will, then that is the obvious solution.

Simples!

Anya Sun 20-Nov-16 13:44:01

I sometimes wonder if everyone actually reads all the posts as it would seem not!

Anya Sun 20-Nov-16 13:46:13

Or is it like those situations where people are talking and not listening to what's being said because they just want to jump in with their own story?

hmm

MissAdventure Sun 20-Nov-16 14:02:16

I would go to the police. Its despicable to steal from anyone, but to actively seek jobs with access to vulnerable people, and their homes is vile. No doubt she will, if not stopped, just move on to another victim.

lilihu Sun 20-Nov-16 14:30:20

Quote " lionpops Sun 20-Nov-16 09:45:39
You contact the crime prevention officer at your local police station and they will arrange for a camera to be installed. You can not speak to the cleaner she will deny it or give some sob story. If you sack her before you have the evidence she will just go on to steal from other vulnerable people.
I give this advice as a retired police officer."
Could anything be any clearer or make any more sense than this advice?????
What more is there to say?

Blinko Sun 20-Nov-16 14:31:30

The police are there to help. Just read Lionpop's post.

Elegran Sun 20-Nov-16 14:46:39

That is why he have police. In a civilised country we don't do either sackings and slander on unproved suspicion, or lynch law.

Anya Sun 20-Nov-16 14:49:15

lillhu & Blinko EXACTLY!!

Barmyoldbat Sun 20-Nov-16 15:03:09

Not sure Anya if your last comment was aimed at me but reading this thread just brought back memories of what happened to me and how I felt. It was hard calling the police as it was family but at the end of the day it was a crime as this stealing is and the right to do. Other peoples experiences can help sometimes.

ajanela Sun 20-Nov-16 15:13:32

Lionpop's post explains it all.

Sometimes it is therapeutic to share experiences and this post raised unhappy memories and fears for some.

Marianne1953 Sun 20-Nov-16 15:35:26

I would set up a camera and then you've got evidence.

BlueBelle Sun 20-Nov-16 15:47:54

I wonder if this police news is up to date ....out here they don't even come out to all burglaries I cannot see them putting cameras in for petty crime They will probably give you a talk about not leaving money in the house

gettingonabit Sun 20-Nov-16 16:04:38

blue I agree. At the moment, there's no evidence that anything has gone missing, even. I'm beginning to feel quite sorry for this so-called "thief"!

I can't imagine the police wanting to commit valuable resources to catching this woman. And the OP s relatives need to be careful that any evidence they collect by means of a trap is admissible in court.

FarNorth Sun 20-Nov-16 17:06:46

There would be no point in confronting her and finding marked notes on her. Once she has produced the notes you would then have no evidence to prove to the police that she took them.

If marked notes are used (and I like the idea of photographing the notes also) then the police should be called to search the woman, to prove that the notes are in her possession.

Some of the muddled thinking on this thread amazes me.

TriciaF Sun 20-Nov-16 17:28:49

I know I'm probably in a minority here, but all this about reporting to the police, cameras etc, NEVER leave cash in the house if you're allowing any worker to work there on their own unsupervised. However "trusted" they are.
It's not fair to them - you don't know what financial problems they have, why they have to do this job, probably on a low hourly wage, how they view you as a well-off employer. etc.

janeayressister Sun 20-Nov-16 17:51:14

The police are careful. If you have no actual video evidence they do interview people who you think may be involved.
In our case they just told them that items had gone from our house and they were asking anyone who had been there on that day, if they had seen anything. That may be enough to frighten her witless. They may also explain to her what will happen if someone gets caught stealing in the UK.
Maybe she is starving/ desperate or owes money for bills. Life in the UK isn't easy for Immigrants, not that I am excusing her stealing by any means. It is a horrible situation to be in.

GrunnyLiz53 Sun 20-Nov-16 18:21:33

My mother in law noticed that the money she kept in a tin to pay for her papers was disappearing on the days when her cleaner came. It kept happening so she knew her cleaner was responsible. She didn't report it as she said they would say she was just being forgetful (she was in her 80's) but instead left a note in the tin which said 'money in bank for safe keeping'.

Jalima Sun 20-Nov-16 18:29:34

If you google 'carer stealing from vulnerable old lady' you will see so many instances of it.

Her next victim could be someone old and vulnerable and I think they need to install a camera and catch her in the act before she goes on to steal from others.

sarahellenwhitney Sun 20-Nov-16 19:02:23

I can't understand why people leave large amounts of money in the house. Leave it in the bank and do bank transfers.

If the cleaner insists on cash this is because she doesn't want the IR to know what she earns. This is fraud and can be a heavy fine if found out.

NickyD47 Sun 20-Nov-16 19:19:47

Thanks everyone. The police are visiting tomorrow to take a statement from my DS and DIL. They have told the friends who also use the cleaner but asked that they don't give her any hint that anything is wrong. Sadly one family have asked for their key back, giving the excuse that they needed it for a neighbour, and another friend intends to tell her she isn't needed any more because she has been unreliable (which she has) but I hope the cleaner doesn't suspect the truth. If she does, she might get away with it because she won't do it again.
I must stress that there is absolutely no doubt that she has taken it. My DIL is devastated, as she had thought of the cleaner as a friend, cried on her shoulder when her mother died recently and has always been generous regardingnthe small daughter at home in Romania.
I will post the outcome to this sad situation so that we can all learn from it. Thank you all again. X

Hattiehelga Sun 20-Nov-16 19:32:54

FarNorth - how unkind. We are all anxious to help and lack of knowledge of the law may appear muddled to enlightened ones. Your comment hardly encourages future input.

Elegran Sun 20-Nov-16 19:42:24

The potential for muddled thinking is one of the reasons that many posters have urged anyone in this situation to inform the police and be guided by them. We are not all experts in catching ciminals.